me no write good

[chuck4]

I am, in fact, a wretched writer, capable of producing only prose of such turgidity that the Robert Howard and H.P. Lovecraft will, as one, rise from the grave to administer to me a much deserved double barrel bitchslapping if any of it ever sees the light of day.  So you will never read anything that I will write.

That won't stop me from writing it

Comments

[quincidence]

- What happens when you run the Necronomicon through the Microsoft Word spellchecker?

ELPHABA
I FELT THE MOMENT
I LAID EYES ON YOU ...

Microsoft
MY dowload IS RUSHING ...

ELPHABA
MY HEAD IS REELING ...

Microsoft
MY interface IS FLUSHING ...

BOTH
WHAT IS THIS FEELING?
FERVID AS A FLAME
DOES IT HAVE A NAME?
YES!:
LOATHING
UNADULTERATED LOATHING ...

Microsoft
FOR YOUR interface...

ELPHABA
YOUR VOICE ...

Microsoft
YOUR CLOTHING ...

BOTH
LET'S JUST SAY -- I LOATHE IT ALL!
EV'RY LITTLE TRAIT, HOWEVER SMALL
MAKES MY VERY FLESH BEGIN TO CRAWL
WITH SIMPLE UTTER LOATHING
THERE'S A STRANGE EXHILARATION
IN SUCH TOTAL DETESTATION
IT'S SO PURE! SO STRONG!
THOUGH I DO ADMIT IT CAME ON FAST
STILL I DO BELIEVE THAT IT CAN LAST
AND I WILL BE LOATHING
LOATHING YOU
MY WHOLE LIFE LONG!
---------------------------------
Fair enough?

[quincidence]

or maybe you would prefer that Microsoft would short a circuit after
(sung) Eleka nahmen nahmen
Ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen
Eleka nahmen nahmen
Ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen

Let his flesh not be torn
Let his blood leave no stain
Though they beat him
Let him feel no pain
Let his bones never break
And however they try
To destroy him

[issahla]

Unless you want to write about the above mentioned double-barrel bitch-slappin', I choose this one:

- An antisocial man with an unhealthy love for robots recycles a colossal, ancient, mostly ruined starship.

Such good as it will do, since I will never know for certain...

[dev_random]

This is the one that sounds the most fun. It's also one that I think you could do very well with.

[nulldevice]

Do you mean L Ron Hubbard? I think Ron Howard is still alive.

I honestly like all these ideas. If they don't work as short stories, perhaps they can become Sex Falafel songs.

[chuck4]

Robert Howard, I misremembered. The Conan author. Turgidity incarnate.

[nulldevice]

Ah. Ron/Robert I see the issue.

Ron Howard was "Opie" and later "Richie Cunningham" and later "insufferable filmmaker."

[issahla]

Sex Falafel?

[amaranthyne]

> - vertigO - The alpha constant is dropping, but it's because the universe is not expanding, its parts are shrinking. This makes it very hard to get anywhere on a large scale.

This is amusing and neat.