I WAS BORED
I’ve never ever seen a in my life fight everyone has except me and it pisses me off cause when I’m in my group of friends they have something cool to talk about. Like if I’m saying something like dude today in English I… they will say dude. I’m sorry I have to interrupt you because this just way better than what you are talking about I’m sorry but I have to. Today at lunch Marcus walked straight up to Paul and punched him in the face really hard that I heard it and I was pretty far away. Then Paul’s girlfriend was like DON’T BE HITTING MY MAN and scratched him on his eyeball and when he started screaming in pain Marcus’s girlfriend came punched her in the stomach ripped ofF her shirt and slammed her head to the concrete then the security guard came and shot Paul in both his kidneys… yea he’s dead he killed him in front of everyone. Then I’ll be like what! I missed that I didn’t even hear a gun shot. No dude he used a silencer. What? Why does he have a silencer is he a spy or assassin what the hell.
Fights are cool yes they are, I love the vibe that fills the air when there is a fight about to happen; but when I about to see a fight it is always the two wimpiest guys in the world who are like. I’m not gay your gay shut up idiot. And I’m the guy in the back going OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO really loud to fuel the fire so I could see some sort of action, but it is in vain because they use the same excuse not to fight they look back at their friends who are like KICK HIS ASS MAN! He is like no dude he’s not worth it. ASGKLNASDEJKGNQDEKGN it gets me so furious AHHHH! So instead of waiting to see a fight I watch UFC!!!!! It is so badass it makes Rocky Balboa look like a little school girl bitch. You never ever try to pick a fight with one of those guys, one punch from those guys you will explode your body will not be able to withstand the energy from a UFC fighter you don’t mess with that shit. It’s scary shit.
I have 3 big fears in my life and they are not like some people who are like “OOOO I’M SCARED OF THE FUTRE OF IM SCARED OF NOT KNOWING. Fuck that shit I’m scared of real scary shit here’s the first one.
1. Giant praying mantises I don’t know if you know but they eat there pray alive and you cant escape there awesome strength of their giant claw blade things that would suck so much.
2. Cockroaches these insects are not one of God’s creatures they are form the devil the devil made two bugs the cockroach and the mosquito AHHHHH! I HATE THEM! Especially when they start flying, this is everyone’s reaction when a cockroach flies by their face. “OH MY GOD!” it sucks.
3. Sharks! But not just sharks, sharks in my pool. I don’t know about you but when I’m in my pool by myself and I look under the water with my giant goggles the ones that cover your nose cause I’m a pussy and don’t like to get water in my nose that really burns, I get scared that a secret chamber is going to open up and three angry hungry sharks are going to come out and bite of my legs., yeah.
The beach sucks. Some of you might like it, I hate it. The seagulls are scary now, whenever I feed them bread or something it starts off calm and peaceful but then more and more come and are sweeping down on you trying to poke out your eyes and you have to run for cover, and throw the bread or I will die. They are vicious and will follow you up to eight miles.
I am the guy at the beach who goes thigh high in the water just standing there and looks like he’s not having fun because I’m not; I am scared shitless and if a little piece of seaweed brushes against my leg I flip out and run to shore screaming like a little girl, but I still stand there because I will feel like I have wasted a trip if I go to the beach and not go in the water its like going to McDonald’s and ordering a salad it doesn’t feel right so I feel obligated to.
I hate Room Raiders but if I was on that show I will give you guys the weirdest Room Raiders ever. First when I know for sure that I’m going to be on the show I will wear a dress and I will not cut my nails at all I won’t even chew them because I have a really bad habit of chewing my nails. Anyway, when the come in my house I will NOT! Cooperate like the other people do like when they say “Your on Room Raiders lets go.” And they are like “Oh my God.” And they are giggling on there way to the car. FUCK THAT! When they come in my house I will be like “HOLY SHIT!” and he’ll be like “Why are you wearing a dress?” and I will poke him in the eyes with my uncut nails and he will be blind. I will have damaged his eyes to a point where they can’t be healed because I did not cut my nails that week and the were really long and they cut open the pupil, gone straight through to his retina and severely damage his optic nerve on both eyes. Then they will throw me in the van and it will be very awkward for the other 2 guys when the see an over weight man in a dress and very long nails. Then on the little T.V. in the van the girl who will be searching our rooms will be telling us about herself. “Hello My name is Justice and I am currently attending the University of Texas and I’ll be searching your rooms to see which one you guys will get to go on a date with me teehee. Then she will go to the first house look to the camera and say “I hope you cleaned up.” Then when she’s in his room she will find some dirty clothes and will be like “I’m going to need the tongs for this.” And all that crap. When she gets to my house she will try to open the door but I put those shocker things on my door handle and she will have to climb the fire escape. Then when she gets in my house there will be a naked old man on the couch petting a bald Chihuahua then she will whisper to herself “Oh my God.” And the old guy will be like “My son’s room is up stair unless you want to stay and pet my Chihuahua hm hm.” So she runs up the stairs but she will be stopped buy a pack of fighting wolverines and she turn to the camera guy “I can’t do this it’s not worth it.” But the camera says “I’m sorry but there has to be a show no matter what it says in the contract.” So she is trying to maneuver around the ferocious wolverines but one of the jumps on her face then the camera turns to static. Then comes back on and she is wearing a cast on her face and she will be like “Okay we made it to his room now let see what’s inside. As soon as she opens the door this thick yellow gas diffuses out of the room and the camera falls to the ground then goes to static. Then comes back on and she is wearing a biohazard suit with the gas mask and everything and she turns to the camera and sobbingly says “Okay lets go in side.” When she steps inside she overwhelmed with the smell and even in the suit she can smell a dreadful stench and she tries to run out but for some reason THE DOOR IS GONE! And she steps on a bear trap then the camera goes to static again then comes back on and she is on crutches. “Okay umm… we will check his closet.” So she opens the closet and there is a skeleton and a small foreign orphan will be in there knawing on the bones with his stomach blowed with starvation and he will have sharp teeth and growl at her. She will freak and slam the door, and check under his bed where a man with missing fingers and toes is like “HELP ME GET OUT OF HERE!” then she will freak out again and go check my drawers and I will have the sickest most disturbing midget porn ever and she will be like “WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU YOUR SICK!” Then she will open the bottom drawer and thousands of bats will fly out and chase her around the room and then she will fall out the window and hit the fire escape and die. AND THAT MY FRIENDS WILL BE THE WEIRDEST MOST MORBID ROOM RAIDERS EVER.