kind of a drag when your baby don't love you.....
so yesterday was pretty crappy day if any one saw me they probablly
noticed i wasn't to happy...
see my boyfriend knows every little thing
about me.. which makes sense... he knows what i want people to know about
me and what i don't want people.. well any way he told one of my friend's
this really really personal information about me that i didn't want people
knowing... well any way i was really pissed because what he said ruins any
bit of dignity i had left.. which might not be a big deal to a lot of people
but it bothers me.. so i was really upset... at lunch i was reading my book
and he just kept looking at me... ahh i wanted just to punch his so bad...
but i kept in mind we've been through worse and me punching him won't do any
thing so why bother... well i went home and he called me.. apologized.. but
he always does... so it doesn't make a difference... and he told me he wrote
the girl a note.. well in the note he made me sound pathetic.. so ya it really
didn't help but i guess it's the thought.. we any way we started talking and i
felt more like shit... i just needed time to calm down... so i started cleaning
and out of no where i just collapsed on the kitchen floor and began to cry.. i
just started thinking about everything in my life... i keep thinking about what
my mom said about taking me to the hospital.. and i began to think that may be
that would be a good idea... i think mainly what i need is to get out of ohio for
awhile... just go some where and think things over.. decide what i want to do with
me life.. if i want to live like this any more, which i don't think i can... it's
just getting to tough.. i'll figure something out..
well any way craig has all weekend to figure out how to make up for the fact he made
me feel like shit the past three day.. i know i'm making him sound like a bad boyfriend
but he's really not.. i've put him through hell plenty of times... i'm suprised he even
stays with me.. i just have to keep in mind that every day no matter i what i will always
love him... call me what you will but that's what i believe...
noticed i wasn't to happy...
see my boyfriend knows every little thing
about me.. which makes sense... he knows what i want people to know about
me and what i don't want people.. well any way he told one of my friend's
this really really personal information about me that i didn't want people
knowing... well any way i was really pissed because what he said ruins any
bit of dignity i had left.. which might not be a big deal to a lot of people
but it bothers me.. so i was really upset... at lunch i was reading my book
and he just kept looking at me... ahh i wanted just to punch his so bad...
but i kept in mind we've been through worse and me punching him won't do any
thing so why bother... well i went home and he called me.. apologized.. but
he always does... so it doesn't make a difference... and he told me he wrote
the girl a note.. well in the note he made me sound pathetic.. so ya it really
didn't help but i guess it's the thought.. we any way we started talking and i
felt more like shit... i just needed time to calm down... so i started cleaning
and out of no where i just collapsed on the kitchen floor and began to cry.. i
just started thinking about everything in my life... i keep thinking about what
my mom said about taking me to the hospital.. and i began to think that may be
that would be a good idea... i think mainly what i need is to get out of ohio for
awhile... just go some where and think things over.. decide what i want to do with
me life.. if i want to live like this any more, which i don't think i can... it's
just getting to tough.. i'll figure something out..
well any way craig has all weekend to figure out how to make up for the fact he made
me feel like shit the past three day.. i know i'm making him sound like a bad boyfriend
but he's really not.. i've put him through hell plenty of times... i'm suprised he even
stays with me.. i just have to keep in mind that every day no matter i what i will always
love him... call me what you will but that's what i believe...