Fic: Call Me Conrad (2/16)
Title: Call Me Conrad (2/16)
Fandoms: Buffy/Hollyoaks/Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13
Summary: And you thought Conrad was confused?
-=-=-=-
"Malfoy!"
Conrad pushed Amy and Mark behind him and stared at Harry Potter's wand. Any moment, he thought; any moment now the old feelings of contempt and jealousy would wash over him, and he would open his mouth and start insulting the Boy Who Lived. At least that way only he would end up getting hurt.
Amy made to push past him, and what actually washed over Conrad was abject terror. "No!" he said urgently. "Amy, no! They're wizards. They could really hurt you." Even with her Vampire Slayer reflexes, Conrad couldn't believe that she could take down all of the Golden Trio before one of them hit her with a spell. Especially not now all three of them had their wands out and ready.
Potter's eyes narrowed. "What's going on, Malfoy? How did you know we were coming here?"
"I didn't! Really, I didn't. I..." Conrad swallowed. He didn't want them of all people to know this, but he didn't see any way around it. "This is where I live."
They didn't believe him anyway if Weasley's snort was any indication. "We're miles away from Malfoy Manor," he said scornfully, before doubt evidently assailed him. "We are miles away, aren't we?"
There was a gasp from behind him. "A manor?" Mark asked. "Can I see it? Is it big? Is-"
"Mark, please!" Conrad managed to interrupt, too scared to take his eyes off Potter. "It's not mine any more." Nothing was. He couldn't even claim to be a Malfoy, didn't deserve the name he was born with. He was just Conrad, and all he had in the world was the people behind him.
Clouds covered the sun again, and in the dimmer light Potter stood out against the snow. "What. Is. Going. On?" he demanded.
Conrad tried to think of something placating to say, anything that would get Potter and his friends to leave Amy and Mark alone. Unfortunately Amy answered first.
"Don't talk to him like that," she shouted back.
"After what he's done I'll talk to him any way I like." Potter apparently wasn't in a forgiving mood, Conrad thought a little hysterically.
Neither was Amy. "If you threaten him again..."
"Threaten him?" Weasley practically exploded. "He's the one who got Dumbledore killed. He's the one who let the Death Eaters into school. After that, he'll be bloody lucky if threatening him is all we do!"
"Death Eaters?" Mark asked before Amy could do some threatening of her own.
"Bad people," Conrad explained, not taking his eyes off Potter still. "They work for an evil wizard called-"
"Shut up!" Weasley shouted suddenly, surprising Conrad into silence.
Amy sneered. "Make up your mind," she said. "Do you want him to talk or not?"
"It's just..." Granger trailed off, looking upwards suspiciously. "What was that?"
"Thunder," Potter said off-handedly. Conrad felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Potter evidently didn't, because he continued, "Look, I just want some answers. Let's start with an easy one; what are you doing here?"
"We were just..." Conrad trailed off, unsure of what to say. Would they believe him if he told them what Simon had done? Would they assume the worst, that it was Conrad's fault Simon was dead? Why shouldn't they, since really it was his fault for not thinking faster?
Potter made an impatient motion, but before he could say anything there was another, louder rumble of thunder. Conrad shivered; this time there was no mistaking the feeling that accompanied it. There was magic in the air, and a thunderstorm that had appeared much too quickly, and the only possible reason Conrad could think of was that they were arguing angrily in a sacred grove.
Praying to anyone who might be listening for help, Conrad turned and shouted at the sky. "No! You mustn't! Whoever... Whatever..." He foundered, tried again: "They're good people. You mustn't hurt them."
"Conrad?" Amy asked hesitantly.
"He's gone nuts," Weasley opined. "Utterly round the twist."
"Who are you talking to?" Granger demanded. Conrad couldn't help but flinch at the sharp edge to her voice. There had been too many days when that tone of voice meant he was going to be punished.
"I don't know," he admitted quickly. "I thought maybe..."
He was interrupted by an angry new voice; "What the actual hell is going on?" Conrad turned to see Ste enter the grove, Josh following a step behind looking equally unimpressed.
Potter groaned. Conrad took this as a good sign until he heard him mutter, "More Muggles? This is getting out of hand."
"Amy," Josh asked, "who are these people and what have they done?"
"They appeared out of thin air and started threatening Conrad," Amy said grimly.
"So they're the ones who have been messing around with magic?" Josh shared a look with Ste, and they moved to opposite sides of the central oak. Each ended up with one hand casually resting against the tree. Conrad wasn't fooled for a moment by their easy pose, and he didn't imagine that Potter was either.
Weasley apparently was that oblivious. "More cronies of yours, Malfoy?" he sneered. "What's the matter, did Crabbe and Goyle finally realise that you're a waste of space?"
There was another rumble, and Conrad couldn't help cringing. "Please," he begged Josh, "whatever's happening here, you've got to stop it. They're important."
"Important, maybe," Ste said dismissively. "But they're rude and gobby, and I'm not about to go out of my way to help them."
"We're rude?" Potter asked incredulously.
"Harry," Granger said cautiously, "I think-" She broke off as Jake and Justin burst into the clearing. Conrad watched the now nervous Trio try to point their wands at everyone with a sinking heart.
"What's happening?" Jake demanded.
Josh answered first. "That bunch seem to be responsible for sending things haywire. They don't like Conrad much."
"So not all bad then," Justin said. Jake clipped him round the ear.
Josh paused until he had their full attention. "Protect him," he said simply. They nodded, albeit clearly grudgingly in Justin's case.
"Protect him?" Weasley exploded. "After everything the Ferret's done, he's the last person you ought to be protecting."
"After everything that's happened to him," Jake said severely, "he's the first person we protect." Conrad had to look away; he knew it was his fault that Jake had fallen into her clutches, no matter what the others said.
"Who are you people?" Potter demanded.
"Finally, a good question." Josh turned and smiled at the Trio unpleasantly. "We're the people you've royally pissed off by threatening our friends. Now, who the hell are you?"
"We're the people he's been pissing off for years," Weasley retorted. It was true, Conrad thought, but Josh didn't know that and Weasley obviously wasn't winning any points with him.
"Look," Potter said, "I don't know what the hell you've got going on here and I don't really care. All I want to know is how he found us," he nodded at Conrad, "and we'll be out of your hair."
Commendable caution, Conrad thought, but it was a bit late. Before he could protest again that he hadn't found them, that this really was just a coincidence, Amy snorted. "Not so tough now you're outnumbered, are you?"
Exactly the wrong thing to say to Gryffindors, and three wands and three glares were quickly trained on her. Which of course made Josh and Ste even angrier.
Fortunately they were distracted before any spells actually got cast. Less fortunately, the distraction was the arrival of the two druids Conrad knew least well, Jake's brother Craig and his boyfriend. They took the scene in quickly and seemed to take against Potter and his friends instantly just like everyone else had. The old Draco would have been delighted; the new Conrad was terrified that his friends were going to harm the people the Wizarding World was relying on.
"Who are this lot?" Craig asked his brother.
"Some bullies making Conrad miserable." Jake replied, not looking up from the intense conversation he was having with Justin.
"Bullies!" Weasley sounded like he was about to burst a blood vessel, and Conrad couldn't blame him. Granger at least managed to quieten him down before he said anything more inflammatory.
Josh fixed Craig with a significant look. "They appeared out of thin air."
Craig's eyebrows rose. "Interesting," he said. He and John Paul turned to each other, taking a deep breath and closing their eyes for a moment before starting apart.
"Wow," John Paul said, "you really are pissed off with them."
"What are they doing?" Potter demanded. He was looking at where Jake and Justin were holding hands and chanting, and Conrad could hear the edge of fear in his voice. "Malfoy, tell them to stop or-"
"Or what?" Ste interrupted scornfully. "You're not the one in charge here, you don't get to tell us what to do."
"Please," Conrad said hopelessly. "You mustn't... I don't want anyone getting hurt on my account."
"I don't want you getting hurt on any account," Amy said firmly.
Josh nodded. "They do not get to charge in here, shooting their mouths off and waving their wands, and-"
"Wands?" came a cheery voice. Conrad turned to see Mr Harris saunter into the grove, a grin on his face. Behind him, Mr Wells and his familiar overstuffed satchel seemed to be trying to disappear into the taller man's shadow. "Please tell me you guys don't fly around on broomsticks," Harris continued, "otherwise Willow's gonna track you down just to lecture you about perpetuating stereotypes."
Nobody seemed to know what to do with Harris not taking this confrontation seriously. Which was exactly how Dumbledore had operated, now Conrad came to think of it. Forcing down the lump in his throat, he resolved to demonstrate that he had learned something from the not-so-batty old man after all.
"I'm afraid they do," he said as lightly as he could manage. He indicated Potter. "He's probably the best flyer I've ever seen, if you want a demonstration."
It seemed to have the desired effect. The druids had certainly relaxed a little, even if Josh and Ste's glares were no less stern. Weasley and Granger seemed to be gobsmacked, though, and Potter looked thoroughly off-balance. "Did you just compliment me?" he asked incredulously.
Conrad forced a smile. "I think we spent enough time proving that I might be good, but you're better."
"What happened to you?" Granger asked quietly. Conrad couldn't help wincing; she always was the most perceptive of the three of them.
"That's a long story for another time," Harris said smoothly. "Conrad, you know everybody, why don't you do the introductions?"
Conrad nodded and straightened his back, trying his best to ignore his discomfort at being the centre of attention. There were at least formal words and phrases he could fall back on for times like this.
"Please allow me to introduce Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger. They are possibly the most important people in the country right now. There's a prophecy that says Potter is the only one who can defeat Lord Vol-"
"No!" the Trio shouted together.
"-demort... What?"
The air suddenly filled with the sharp cracks of apparation.
******
Harry Potter was not having a good day. It had been too risky for them to have stayed put after destroying the locket, so as soon as he and Ron had recovered they had packed up the tent and apparated to the next place Hermione had picked for them.
Arriving there to find Draco bloody Malfoy of all people waiting for them did not make things better. At least Harry had his replacement wand out fast enough to stop Malfoy even trying to reach for his. Beyond that, Harry had got nowhere; none of Malfoy's answers to anyone made sense, something about his whining attitude bothered Harry, and the whole thing spiralled rapidly out of control as more and more of Malfoy's weird cronies turned up.
Then to cap it all, Malfoy said Voldemort's name. If he hadn't seen the surprise and fear on Malfoy's face as the Snatchers apparated in, he would have thought the Ferret had done it deliberately. As it was, they were surrounded by hostile wizards, hopelessly out-gunned and with no chance of getting clear enough to apparate out themselves. They certainly couldn't apparate from where they were; Harry had felt wards go up within seconds of the Snatchers' arrival.
"What?" Malfoy asked. He sounded frightened, but he'd been sounding like that since they met him.
"He jinxed his name," Harry said bitterly, not taking his eyes off the Snatchers. "Only his enemies use it, so..."
"Oh. Those are definitely bad guys." It wasn't a question, and Harry risked a glance to see that Malfoy was talking to his friends by the tree. Another pair of them were now facing each other and chanting softly, whatever that was supposed to achieve.
"Good to know," the tall American said. "You guys might want to back up towards us a little."
Harry had absolutely no intention of getting nearer to anyone Malfoy was friendly with, but one of the Snatchers chose that moment to saunter forwards. Harry found himself inching backwards towards the tree anyway, Ron and Hermione right beside him.
"Well, well, well," the Snatcher said. "If it isn't Harry Potter himself. We'll be in for a reward this time, lads, and no mistaking."
Harry just gritted his teeth, eyes searching for a way out. If they could manage to take out a few of them and make a break through the gap...
Two bodies inserted themselves firmly between Harry and the Snatchers. The youngest two of Malfoy's cronies, Harry realised. "Who are you and what do you want?" the shorter of them demanded evenly.
The Snatcher smiled. It wasn't a pretty sight. "A Muggle with a mouth on him," he said dismissively. "Drop your wand, Potter, and we won't hurt them. Much."
Harry was pretty sure that was a lie; Voldemort's minions weren't known for leaving any muggles they came across alive, never mind unharmed. He was still surprised to hear Malfoy hiss, "Don't believe them."
The Snatcher heard too. "The Malfoy boy as well. We are in the money today!"
The boys in front of him stiffened. "Right," the taller one said grimly. "That was your chance to be nice. This is your chance to leave. Bugger off now and we won't hurt you."
"Yeah, sure," the Snatcher snorted, and gestured lazily with his wand. Before Harry could even call a warning, a cruciatus was headed towards the speaker.
Harry's far-too-slow counterspell died on his lips as the curse fizzled out two feet from its target. "Pretty," the boy sneered. "Am I supposed to be impressed?"
"You're supposed to be writing in agony," Malfoy said. Amazingly, he sounded calmer now. "That's a nasty spell."
The shorter boy grunted. "We're done talking," he said flatly, grasping the other boy's hand. Thunder rolled round the clearing again, an ominous echo to his words, and the first drops of cold rain began to fall.
The Snatchers didn't wait for an invitation, they just started firing spells at them. Harry ducked reflexively, but everything bounced off the shield that these obviously-not-Muggles had erected. "I could get used to this," Ron said, taking one of the Snatchers out with a well-placed stunner.
Harry didn't reply. Forcing a hex out of his borrowed wand was taking more of his attention than he was really comfortable with. He almost needn't have bothered; his target, the lead Snatcher, dodged him easily and raised his wand at the young men standing patiently in front of him. "Avada-"
"No!" Harry heard Malfoy yell at the same time he did, telling the boys to duck. Harry lurched towards them, hoping to at least knock them down before they discovered there was no defence to the Killing Curse.
He made a whole step towards them before the lightning strike hit the Snatcher with surgical precision. Somehow Harry managed to check himself and not collide with Malfoy's friends. When he finally blinked the bright spots out of his vision, Harry saw the man lying still on the grass, his clothing smoking gently and all the other Snatchers looking on in shock. Much as he wanted to collapse in shock himself, Harry took the opportunity to disarm one of the Snatchers. Then he turned his attention back to Malfoy's friends.
"That spell would have killed whoever it was aimed at," he said shakily. "There's no known defence against it."
The older boy raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?" Harry nodded.
"So we need to finish this quickly," the younger one said.
"Before any of them think of going and getting reinforcements," Ron put in.
The boy shook his head. "Craig and John Paul have that teleport trick of yours locked down now. Nice of the bad guys to show us how to do it."
"Hey, Conrad," the American called, "these guys look pretty much useless without their wands. Is that right?"
"Yes," Malfoy's reply sounded oddly muffled. When Harry turned to look, the Slytherin was wrapped protectively around the little boy who had been with him when they arrived. Harry tried not to boggle too much, but it was disconcerting to see his old enemy looking to someone else's safety ahead of his own. Maybe he really had grown up since that night on the Astronomy Tower.
"Woah!" Harry ducked again as the ugly beam of a Killing Curse narrowly missed himself and the younger boy with him. The Snatcher responsible was promptly downed by another lightning strike. "Did you have to do that?" the boy asked his companion with some asperity.
"Nobody shoots at you and gets away with it," the older boy answered severely.
"Andrew's got an idea for winding this up," the American shouted again.
"Do it," the younger boy shouted back, "before any of them get creative."
"Yes, boss."
Harry fired another hex into the Snatchers, then looked curiously at the boy next to him. "You're the boss?" he asked.
The boy shrugged. "I was in the wrong place at the right time. I'm Josh, by the way. You're Harry, right?" Harry nodded. "We'll talk later. I reckon you still owe him an apology." He indicated Malfoy, who still seemed to be doing his best to protect the little boy despite the boy's best efforts to see what was going on.
"Maybe I do," Harry admitted. He still didn't trust Malfoy, but maybe for once he hadn't been guilty. Then again, there was plenty for Malfoy to be guilty about; he had some apologising to do as well.
Beyond Malfoy, the tall American was standing behind a shorter blond man, hands on his shoulders. The shorter man in turn was muttering something Harry couldn't hear, his left hand held to his chest while his right was held up, clutching a broken-off tree branch like some odd priest delivering a blessing. After a moment he raised his right hand higher and shouted, "Wood calls to wood!"
Suddenly Harry's stolen wand was ripped from his grasp by some unseen force. It went flying off towards the pair, as did every other wand and stick in the clearing, judging from the cries of alarm from the Snatchers. That included Harry's broken wand, which ripped its way out of the side pocket of his backpack.
"Ow!" the American said as sticks and wands pelted them from all sides. "Damnit, Andrew."
"I'm sorry," his companion wailed. "I wasn't sure it would work if I let go." He too had an American accent, Harry noticed.
"And you couldn't... No, scratch that. You made the right call, and I'm proud of you." The two of them shared a surprisingly fond look, the shorter man practically glowing at the praise.
"That's wonderful," Ron said sarcastically, "but you disarmed us as well."
"At least no one's throwing Unforgivables around any more," Harry told him. He hurried towards the growing pile of wands all the same.
"There are still a lot more of them than us," Hermione said worriedly.
None of Malfoy's friends seemed to be the slightest bit worried about this. "OK, Amy, you're up," the taller American said to the girl standing by Malfoy. "Remember, points for speed and style, points off for broken bones."
The girl nodded and sprinted towards the mass of Snatchers. Harry grabbed the first wand he came to. "We have to help..." He stopped, stared, wiped the sleet off his glasses and stared again.
"I don't think she needs help, mate," Ron said, sounding awed. Harry couldn't disagree. Amy was dancing through the disorganised Snatchers, knocking them down like ninepins.
"I never really appreciated..." the boy he'd been talking to, Josh, said.
"We were a bit busy not dying last time," his friend replied. Neither of them took their eyes off the girl as she ducked, wove and spun around the through the Snatchers.
"She's amazing," Malfoy said.
"Eh, her backhand's sloppy," the taller American said. "Not bad for a beginner, though."
"That's a beginner?" Harry sounded incredulous to himself, but he couldn't believe it. There was no way someone tearing through an entire group of Snatchers with such skill and enthusiasm could be a beginner.
The last Snatcher hit the ground and Amy bounced back over to give Malfoy a great big hug. "That was fun," she said. She didn't even seem out of breath.
Malfoy's smile was blinding, and no less shocking to Harry for looking completely genuine. "You looked like you were enjoying yourself," he told her.
The tall American coughed. It was as if he had flicked a switch inside Malfoy; the smile vanished, and Malfoy seemed to shrink inwards as if he was trying to hide in the girl's shadow. It looked ludicrous, not just because he was a good deal taller than her, but also because it was so unlike the arrogant snob Harry knew too well. What on earth had happened to him?
"So who were those guys again?" the American asked Malfoy. Malfoy looked helplessly at Harry.
"They're called Snatchers," Harry said tiredly. "The man we're trying to defeat has got the rest of the Wizarding World so scared of him that-"
"Whoa, back up," Josh said. "Wizarding World? You mean there's a whole world full of wizards out there that no one told us about?" He looked at the Americans for some reason. They just shrugged at him.
"It's supposed to be a secret," Malfoy said quietly. "There are strict penalties for doing anything that would give the secret away. Um, I think we're safe because you already know about magic."
"Yes, about that," Hermione said. "How did you perform that magic if you aren't wizards? I've never seen anyone cast wandlessly with that much power before."
"Can we get back to these Snatchers and what they were doing here, please?" one of the others asked. "Before they wake up?"
"Uh, sure." Harry struggled for a moment to remember what he had been going to say. "Like I was saying, the Dark Lord has everyone scared that if they say his name they'll attract his attention. Now he really has cast a spell to do that, since the only people willing to say his name are the ones working against him."
"And when he gets a ping, he sends a snatch squad out. Smart," the taller American said thoughtfully.
"Evil," Harry corrected.
"The worst sort."
"Aha!" Ron finally pulled his own wand out of the pile. He waved it experimentally, making sure it wasn't damaged, then pointed it at the pile. "Accio Hermione's wand. Accio Harry's wand."
Malfoy gasped. "Potter, your wand...?"
Harry carefully took the two pieces of holly, making sure that the slender thread of phoenix feather joining them hadn't been damaged any more by its recent mistreatment. "A Cutting Curse clipped it," he said. "I don't know how to fix it. A reparo isn't good enough, I know that much." He looked at Malfoy more in hope than expectation.
Malfoy looked really scared now. Harry gave up on understanding him there and then.
"That's sad and all," Josh's companion said without the slightest trace of sympathy, "but what were you doing here in the first place? And what's with threatening Conrad?"
"Why do you keep calling him that?" Ron shot back, apparently equally unimpressed.
"Look, I'm sure that we've all got a lot to shout at each other about," one of the others said calmly. "Any chance we could do it indoors? I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm getting cold."
"He's got a point," Josh said, looking at his companion. They seemed to have some kind of silent argument for a few moments until the other boy finally nodded.
"Great," the taller American said. "Now has anyone got any idea what we do with all these unconscious Snatcher guys?"
There was silence as they all looked at the slumped figures littering the glade. Eventually Ron raised his wand. "We could tie them up?" he offered.
Fandoms: Buffy/Hollyoaks/Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13
Summary: And you thought Conrad was confused?
-=-=-=-
"Malfoy!"
Conrad pushed Amy and Mark behind him and stared at Harry Potter's wand. Any moment, he thought; any moment now the old feelings of contempt and jealousy would wash over him, and he would open his mouth and start insulting the Boy Who Lived. At least that way only he would end up getting hurt.
Amy made to push past him, and what actually washed over Conrad was abject terror. "No!" he said urgently. "Amy, no! They're wizards. They could really hurt you." Even with her Vampire Slayer reflexes, Conrad couldn't believe that she could take down all of the Golden Trio before one of them hit her with a spell. Especially not now all three of them had their wands out and ready.
Potter's eyes narrowed. "What's going on, Malfoy? How did you know we were coming here?"
"I didn't! Really, I didn't. I..." Conrad swallowed. He didn't want them of all people to know this, but he didn't see any way around it. "This is where I live."
They didn't believe him anyway if Weasley's snort was any indication. "We're miles away from Malfoy Manor," he said scornfully, before doubt evidently assailed him. "We are miles away, aren't we?"
There was a gasp from behind him. "A manor?" Mark asked. "Can I see it? Is it big? Is-"
"Mark, please!" Conrad managed to interrupt, too scared to take his eyes off Potter. "It's not mine any more." Nothing was. He couldn't even claim to be a Malfoy, didn't deserve the name he was born with. He was just Conrad, and all he had in the world was the people behind him.
Clouds covered the sun again, and in the dimmer light Potter stood out against the snow. "What. Is. Going. On?" he demanded.
Conrad tried to think of something placating to say, anything that would get Potter and his friends to leave Amy and Mark alone. Unfortunately Amy answered first.
"Don't talk to him like that," she shouted back.
"After what he's done I'll talk to him any way I like." Potter apparently wasn't in a forgiving mood, Conrad thought a little hysterically.
Neither was Amy. "If you threaten him again..."
"Threaten him?" Weasley practically exploded. "He's the one who got Dumbledore killed. He's the one who let the Death Eaters into school. After that, he'll be bloody lucky if threatening him is all we do!"
"Death Eaters?" Mark asked before Amy could do some threatening of her own.
"Bad people," Conrad explained, not taking his eyes off Potter still. "They work for an evil wizard called-"
"Shut up!" Weasley shouted suddenly, surprising Conrad into silence.
Amy sneered. "Make up your mind," she said. "Do you want him to talk or not?"
"It's just..." Granger trailed off, looking upwards suspiciously. "What was that?"
"Thunder," Potter said off-handedly. Conrad felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Potter evidently didn't, because he continued, "Look, I just want some answers. Let's start with an easy one; what are you doing here?"
"We were just..." Conrad trailed off, unsure of what to say. Would they believe him if he told them what Simon had done? Would they assume the worst, that it was Conrad's fault Simon was dead? Why shouldn't they, since really it was his fault for not thinking faster?
Potter made an impatient motion, but before he could say anything there was another, louder rumble of thunder. Conrad shivered; this time there was no mistaking the feeling that accompanied it. There was magic in the air, and a thunderstorm that had appeared much too quickly, and the only possible reason Conrad could think of was that they were arguing angrily in a sacred grove.
Praying to anyone who might be listening for help, Conrad turned and shouted at the sky. "No! You mustn't! Whoever... Whatever..." He foundered, tried again: "They're good people. You mustn't hurt them."
"Conrad?" Amy asked hesitantly.
"He's gone nuts," Weasley opined. "Utterly round the twist."
"Who are you talking to?" Granger demanded. Conrad couldn't help but flinch at the sharp edge to her voice. There had been too many days when that tone of voice meant he was going to be punished.
"I don't know," he admitted quickly. "I thought maybe..."
He was interrupted by an angry new voice; "What the actual hell is going on?" Conrad turned to see Ste enter the grove, Josh following a step behind looking equally unimpressed.
Potter groaned. Conrad took this as a good sign until he heard him mutter, "More Muggles? This is getting out of hand."
"Amy," Josh asked, "who are these people and what have they done?"
"They appeared out of thin air and started threatening Conrad," Amy said grimly.
"So they're the ones who have been messing around with magic?" Josh shared a look with Ste, and they moved to opposite sides of the central oak. Each ended up with one hand casually resting against the tree. Conrad wasn't fooled for a moment by their easy pose, and he didn't imagine that Potter was either.
Weasley apparently was that oblivious. "More cronies of yours, Malfoy?" he sneered. "What's the matter, did Crabbe and Goyle finally realise that you're a waste of space?"
There was another rumble, and Conrad couldn't help cringing. "Please," he begged Josh, "whatever's happening here, you've got to stop it. They're important."
"Important, maybe," Ste said dismissively. "But they're rude and gobby, and I'm not about to go out of my way to help them."
"We're rude?" Potter asked incredulously.
"Harry," Granger said cautiously, "I think-" She broke off as Jake and Justin burst into the clearing. Conrad watched the now nervous Trio try to point their wands at everyone with a sinking heart.
"What's happening?" Jake demanded.
Josh answered first. "That bunch seem to be responsible for sending things haywire. They don't like Conrad much."
"So not all bad then," Justin said. Jake clipped him round the ear.
Josh paused until he had their full attention. "Protect him," he said simply. They nodded, albeit clearly grudgingly in Justin's case.
"Protect him?" Weasley exploded. "After everything the Ferret's done, he's the last person you ought to be protecting."
"After everything that's happened to him," Jake said severely, "he's the first person we protect." Conrad had to look away; he knew it was his fault that Jake had fallen into her clutches, no matter what the others said.
"Who are you people?" Potter demanded.
"Finally, a good question." Josh turned and smiled at the Trio unpleasantly. "We're the people you've royally pissed off by threatening our friends. Now, who the hell are you?"
"We're the people he's been pissing off for years," Weasley retorted. It was true, Conrad thought, but Josh didn't know that and Weasley obviously wasn't winning any points with him.
"Look," Potter said, "I don't know what the hell you've got going on here and I don't really care. All I want to know is how he found us," he nodded at Conrad, "and we'll be out of your hair."
Commendable caution, Conrad thought, but it was a bit late. Before he could protest again that he hadn't found them, that this really was just a coincidence, Amy snorted. "Not so tough now you're outnumbered, are you?"
Exactly the wrong thing to say to Gryffindors, and three wands and three glares were quickly trained on her. Which of course made Josh and Ste even angrier.
Fortunately they were distracted before any spells actually got cast. Less fortunately, the distraction was the arrival of the two druids Conrad knew least well, Jake's brother Craig and his boyfriend. They took the scene in quickly and seemed to take against Potter and his friends instantly just like everyone else had. The old Draco would have been delighted; the new Conrad was terrified that his friends were going to harm the people the Wizarding World was relying on.
"Who are this lot?" Craig asked his brother.
"Some bullies making Conrad miserable." Jake replied, not looking up from the intense conversation he was having with Justin.
"Bullies!" Weasley sounded like he was about to burst a blood vessel, and Conrad couldn't blame him. Granger at least managed to quieten him down before he said anything more inflammatory.
Josh fixed Craig with a significant look. "They appeared out of thin air."
Craig's eyebrows rose. "Interesting," he said. He and John Paul turned to each other, taking a deep breath and closing their eyes for a moment before starting apart.
"Wow," John Paul said, "you really are pissed off with them."
"What are they doing?" Potter demanded. He was looking at where Jake and Justin were holding hands and chanting, and Conrad could hear the edge of fear in his voice. "Malfoy, tell them to stop or-"
"Or what?" Ste interrupted scornfully. "You're not the one in charge here, you don't get to tell us what to do."
"Please," Conrad said hopelessly. "You mustn't... I don't want anyone getting hurt on my account."
"I don't want you getting hurt on any account," Amy said firmly.
Josh nodded. "They do not get to charge in here, shooting their mouths off and waving their wands, and-"
"Wands?" came a cheery voice. Conrad turned to see Mr Harris saunter into the grove, a grin on his face. Behind him, Mr Wells and his familiar overstuffed satchel seemed to be trying to disappear into the taller man's shadow. "Please tell me you guys don't fly around on broomsticks," Harris continued, "otherwise Willow's gonna track you down just to lecture you about perpetuating stereotypes."
Nobody seemed to know what to do with Harris not taking this confrontation seriously. Which was exactly how Dumbledore had operated, now Conrad came to think of it. Forcing down the lump in his throat, he resolved to demonstrate that he had learned something from the not-so-batty old man after all.
"I'm afraid they do," he said as lightly as he could manage. He indicated Potter. "He's probably the best flyer I've ever seen, if you want a demonstration."
It seemed to have the desired effect. The druids had certainly relaxed a little, even if Josh and Ste's glares were no less stern. Weasley and Granger seemed to be gobsmacked, though, and Potter looked thoroughly off-balance. "Did you just compliment me?" he asked incredulously.
Conrad forced a smile. "I think we spent enough time proving that I might be good, but you're better."
"What happened to you?" Granger asked quietly. Conrad couldn't help wincing; she always was the most perceptive of the three of them.
"That's a long story for another time," Harris said smoothly. "Conrad, you know everybody, why don't you do the introductions?"
Conrad nodded and straightened his back, trying his best to ignore his discomfort at being the centre of attention. There were at least formal words and phrases he could fall back on for times like this.
"Please allow me to introduce Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger. They are possibly the most important people in the country right now. There's a prophecy that says Potter is the only one who can defeat Lord Vol-"
"No!" the Trio shouted together.
"-demort... What?"
The air suddenly filled with the sharp cracks of apparation.
******
Harry Potter was not having a good day. It had been too risky for them to have stayed put after destroying the locket, so as soon as he and Ron had recovered they had packed up the tent and apparated to the next place Hermione had picked for them.
Arriving there to find Draco bloody Malfoy of all people waiting for them did not make things better. At least Harry had his replacement wand out fast enough to stop Malfoy even trying to reach for his. Beyond that, Harry had got nowhere; none of Malfoy's answers to anyone made sense, something about his whining attitude bothered Harry, and the whole thing spiralled rapidly out of control as more and more of Malfoy's weird cronies turned up.
Then to cap it all, Malfoy said Voldemort's name. If he hadn't seen the surprise and fear on Malfoy's face as the Snatchers apparated in, he would have thought the Ferret had done it deliberately. As it was, they were surrounded by hostile wizards, hopelessly out-gunned and with no chance of getting clear enough to apparate out themselves. They certainly couldn't apparate from where they were; Harry had felt wards go up within seconds of the Snatchers' arrival.
"What?" Malfoy asked. He sounded frightened, but he'd been sounding like that since they met him.
"He jinxed his name," Harry said bitterly, not taking his eyes off the Snatchers. "Only his enemies use it, so..."
"Oh. Those are definitely bad guys." It wasn't a question, and Harry risked a glance to see that Malfoy was talking to his friends by the tree. Another pair of them were now facing each other and chanting softly, whatever that was supposed to achieve.
"Good to know," the tall American said. "You guys might want to back up towards us a little."
Harry had absolutely no intention of getting nearer to anyone Malfoy was friendly with, but one of the Snatchers chose that moment to saunter forwards. Harry found himself inching backwards towards the tree anyway, Ron and Hermione right beside him.
"Well, well, well," the Snatcher said. "If it isn't Harry Potter himself. We'll be in for a reward this time, lads, and no mistaking."
Harry just gritted his teeth, eyes searching for a way out. If they could manage to take out a few of them and make a break through the gap...
Two bodies inserted themselves firmly between Harry and the Snatchers. The youngest two of Malfoy's cronies, Harry realised. "Who are you and what do you want?" the shorter of them demanded evenly.
The Snatcher smiled. It wasn't a pretty sight. "A Muggle with a mouth on him," he said dismissively. "Drop your wand, Potter, and we won't hurt them. Much."
Harry was pretty sure that was a lie; Voldemort's minions weren't known for leaving any muggles they came across alive, never mind unharmed. He was still surprised to hear Malfoy hiss, "Don't believe them."
The Snatcher heard too. "The Malfoy boy as well. We are in the money today!"
The boys in front of him stiffened. "Right," the taller one said grimly. "That was your chance to be nice. This is your chance to leave. Bugger off now and we won't hurt you."
"Yeah, sure," the Snatcher snorted, and gestured lazily with his wand. Before Harry could even call a warning, a cruciatus was headed towards the speaker.
Harry's far-too-slow counterspell died on his lips as the curse fizzled out two feet from its target. "Pretty," the boy sneered. "Am I supposed to be impressed?"
"You're supposed to be writing in agony," Malfoy said. Amazingly, he sounded calmer now. "That's a nasty spell."
The shorter boy grunted. "We're done talking," he said flatly, grasping the other boy's hand. Thunder rolled round the clearing again, an ominous echo to his words, and the first drops of cold rain began to fall.
The Snatchers didn't wait for an invitation, they just started firing spells at them. Harry ducked reflexively, but everything bounced off the shield that these obviously-not-Muggles had erected. "I could get used to this," Ron said, taking one of the Snatchers out with a well-placed stunner.
Harry didn't reply. Forcing a hex out of his borrowed wand was taking more of his attention than he was really comfortable with. He almost needn't have bothered; his target, the lead Snatcher, dodged him easily and raised his wand at the young men standing patiently in front of him. "Avada-"
"No!" Harry heard Malfoy yell at the same time he did, telling the boys to duck. Harry lurched towards them, hoping to at least knock them down before they discovered there was no defence to the Killing Curse.
He made a whole step towards them before the lightning strike hit the Snatcher with surgical precision. Somehow Harry managed to check himself and not collide with Malfoy's friends. When he finally blinked the bright spots out of his vision, Harry saw the man lying still on the grass, his clothing smoking gently and all the other Snatchers looking on in shock. Much as he wanted to collapse in shock himself, Harry took the opportunity to disarm one of the Snatchers. Then he turned his attention back to Malfoy's friends.
"That spell would have killed whoever it was aimed at," he said shakily. "There's no known defence against it."
The older boy raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?" Harry nodded.
"So we need to finish this quickly," the younger one said.
"Before any of them think of going and getting reinforcements," Ron put in.
The boy shook his head. "Craig and John Paul have that teleport trick of yours locked down now. Nice of the bad guys to show us how to do it."
"Hey, Conrad," the American called, "these guys look pretty much useless without their wands. Is that right?"
"Yes," Malfoy's reply sounded oddly muffled. When Harry turned to look, the Slytherin was wrapped protectively around the little boy who had been with him when they arrived. Harry tried not to boggle too much, but it was disconcerting to see his old enemy looking to someone else's safety ahead of his own. Maybe he really had grown up since that night on the Astronomy Tower.
"Woah!" Harry ducked again as the ugly beam of a Killing Curse narrowly missed himself and the younger boy with him. The Snatcher responsible was promptly downed by another lightning strike. "Did you have to do that?" the boy asked his companion with some asperity.
"Nobody shoots at you and gets away with it," the older boy answered severely.
"Andrew's got an idea for winding this up," the American shouted again.
"Do it," the younger boy shouted back, "before any of them get creative."
"Yes, boss."
Harry fired another hex into the Snatchers, then looked curiously at the boy next to him. "You're the boss?" he asked.
The boy shrugged. "I was in the wrong place at the right time. I'm Josh, by the way. You're Harry, right?" Harry nodded. "We'll talk later. I reckon you still owe him an apology." He indicated Malfoy, who still seemed to be doing his best to protect the little boy despite the boy's best efforts to see what was going on.
"Maybe I do," Harry admitted. He still didn't trust Malfoy, but maybe for once he hadn't been guilty. Then again, there was plenty for Malfoy to be guilty about; he had some apologising to do as well.
Beyond Malfoy, the tall American was standing behind a shorter blond man, hands on his shoulders. The shorter man in turn was muttering something Harry couldn't hear, his left hand held to his chest while his right was held up, clutching a broken-off tree branch like some odd priest delivering a blessing. After a moment he raised his right hand higher and shouted, "Wood calls to wood!"
Suddenly Harry's stolen wand was ripped from his grasp by some unseen force. It went flying off towards the pair, as did every other wand and stick in the clearing, judging from the cries of alarm from the Snatchers. That included Harry's broken wand, which ripped its way out of the side pocket of his backpack.
"Ow!" the American said as sticks and wands pelted them from all sides. "Damnit, Andrew."
"I'm sorry," his companion wailed. "I wasn't sure it would work if I let go." He too had an American accent, Harry noticed.
"And you couldn't... No, scratch that. You made the right call, and I'm proud of you." The two of them shared a surprisingly fond look, the shorter man practically glowing at the praise.
"That's wonderful," Ron said sarcastically, "but you disarmed us as well."
"At least no one's throwing Unforgivables around any more," Harry told him. He hurried towards the growing pile of wands all the same.
"There are still a lot more of them than us," Hermione said worriedly.
None of Malfoy's friends seemed to be the slightest bit worried about this. "OK, Amy, you're up," the taller American said to the girl standing by Malfoy. "Remember, points for speed and style, points off for broken bones."
The girl nodded and sprinted towards the mass of Snatchers. Harry grabbed the first wand he came to. "We have to help..." He stopped, stared, wiped the sleet off his glasses and stared again.
"I don't think she needs help, mate," Ron said, sounding awed. Harry couldn't disagree. Amy was dancing through the disorganised Snatchers, knocking them down like ninepins.
"I never really appreciated..." the boy he'd been talking to, Josh, said.
"We were a bit busy not dying last time," his friend replied. Neither of them took their eyes off the girl as she ducked, wove and spun around the through the Snatchers.
"She's amazing," Malfoy said.
"Eh, her backhand's sloppy," the taller American said. "Not bad for a beginner, though."
"That's a beginner?" Harry sounded incredulous to himself, but he couldn't believe it. There was no way someone tearing through an entire group of Snatchers with such skill and enthusiasm could be a beginner.
The last Snatcher hit the ground and Amy bounced back over to give Malfoy a great big hug. "That was fun," she said. She didn't even seem out of breath.
Malfoy's smile was blinding, and no less shocking to Harry for looking completely genuine. "You looked like you were enjoying yourself," he told her.
The tall American coughed. It was as if he had flicked a switch inside Malfoy; the smile vanished, and Malfoy seemed to shrink inwards as if he was trying to hide in the girl's shadow. It looked ludicrous, not just because he was a good deal taller than her, but also because it was so unlike the arrogant snob Harry knew too well. What on earth had happened to him?
"So who were those guys again?" the American asked Malfoy. Malfoy looked helplessly at Harry.
"They're called Snatchers," Harry said tiredly. "The man we're trying to defeat has got the rest of the Wizarding World so scared of him that-"
"Whoa, back up," Josh said. "Wizarding World? You mean there's a whole world full of wizards out there that no one told us about?" He looked at the Americans for some reason. They just shrugged at him.
"It's supposed to be a secret," Malfoy said quietly. "There are strict penalties for doing anything that would give the secret away. Um, I think we're safe because you already know about magic."
"Yes, about that," Hermione said. "How did you perform that magic if you aren't wizards? I've never seen anyone cast wandlessly with that much power before."
"Can we get back to these Snatchers and what they were doing here, please?" one of the others asked. "Before they wake up?"
"Uh, sure." Harry struggled for a moment to remember what he had been going to say. "Like I was saying, the Dark Lord has everyone scared that if they say his name they'll attract his attention. Now he really has cast a spell to do that, since the only people willing to say his name are the ones working against him."
"And when he gets a ping, he sends a snatch squad out. Smart," the taller American said thoughtfully.
"Evil," Harry corrected.
"The worst sort."
"Aha!" Ron finally pulled his own wand out of the pile. He waved it experimentally, making sure it wasn't damaged, then pointed it at the pile. "Accio Hermione's wand. Accio Harry's wand."
Malfoy gasped. "Potter, your wand...?"
Harry carefully took the two pieces of holly, making sure that the slender thread of phoenix feather joining them hadn't been damaged any more by its recent mistreatment. "A Cutting Curse clipped it," he said. "I don't know how to fix it. A reparo isn't good enough, I know that much." He looked at Malfoy more in hope than expectation.
Malfoy looked really scared now. Harry gave up on understanding him there and then.
"That's sad and all," Josh's companion said without the slightest trace of sympathy, "but what were you doing here in the first place? And what's with threatening Conrad?"
"Why do you keep calling him that?" Ron shot back, apparently equally unimpressed.
"Look, I'm sure that we've all got a lot to shout at each other about," one of the others said calmly. "Any chance we could do it indoors? I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm getting cold."
"He's got a point," Josh said, looking at his companion. They seemed to have some kind of silent argument for a few moments until the other boy finally nodded.
"Great," the taller American said. "Now has anyone got any idea what we do with all these unconscious Snatcher guys?"
There was silence as they all looked at the slumped figures littering the glade. Eventually Ron raised his wand. "We could tie them up?" he offered.