a note from a friend..

[ciachan]

I thank you..
because without your support, i wouldn't be here
i wouldn't have stayed when things got hard
i wouldn't have believed that i could find a life
thank you for the way you know me, for being my best friend for what feels like forever, and for raising the bar so high that i don't know where to begin
thank you for knowing to let go before things get ugly

On some level, you must've known that forcing me to fly would force you fly too
to do the things you know you need
and maybe you even share the believe that our paths will join us together again and for always

I hate you..
for not wanting it badly enough
for not believing we could do this together and for not following through
i hate that you don't seem to be doing the things that made you stay
i hate the way you tell me how you feel almost always hurts and that the most of the time you just don't tell me at all
i hate that you're the only one person i could imagine loving, and you make letting go seem so easy
like it doesn't hurt at all
like you dont even cry

I'm sorry..
i left the way i did
because of what it said to you
that i would always expect you to follow
i'm sorry i didn't see like that
i think paving the way would create an advanture that would change our lives
i'm sorry, i didn't wait until you were ready
that i didn't think i could, so the decision didn't feel like yours
i'm sorry that it seemed like your opinion wasn't important
when nothing could be further from the truth
i'm sorry that i doubted our future and made you doubt it too
i didn't know myself well enough to tell you
all the things we need to change, and why we both thought we'd have more time and i left
I'LL ALWAYS BE SORRY FOR THAT..

:: these words weren't mine..