(no subject)
Holy fucking shit what the fuck was that crap adaptation of Persuasion all about? I say "was", but it's still running, I just cannot bear to watch the rest of the utter fucking butchery being performed on a perfectly wonderful piece of literature.
Just ... holy fucking crap. I get that modern audiences aren't as obsessed with the Regency period and Austen's style as I am. I get that some things might need to be spelled out a little more opaquely than in the original. But when you're totally changing conversations, who takes part in them, where they appear in the narrative, to the point where the final climactic getting-together scene makes NO sense in real time - I mean, that's not even mentioning the total trashing of most of the point of the plot - why would you bother? It's like the Earthsea adaptation where everyone was white - they didn't want to make *Earthsea*, they wanted a generic fantasy shtick with a popular name stuck on the front - so it's less Persuasion and more "Regency romances are pretty, the BBC wardrobe department's overflowing with pelisses, chicks dig it, oh crap which Jane Austen hasn't been done too recently?"
Holy crap on a crapstick with the painfully obvious exposition, for a start. It was like a one-episode moral-lesson storyline on Shortland Street, but more painful. OH MISS ELLIOT, I HEAR YOU LIKE THIS GUY, LET ME OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD RELATE HIS ENTIRE DASTARDLY BACKSTORY LIKE IT'S THE SYNOPSIS ON THE BACK COVER OF A MILLS AND BOON. OH CAPTAIN WENTWORTH, I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE CONFLICTED ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, LET ME RECITE PRECISELY THE KIND OF CHARACTER DETAIL WHICH WILL SHOW YOU THE ERROR OF YOUR ASSUMPTIONS.
There are no fucking lingering glances in Persuasion. Wentworth basically ignores Anne, confirming her opinion that he has no feelings for her whatsoever. Which doesn't work if every frame is them staring soulfully at each other.
There is no fucking point *inventing* new scenes to Create Sexual Tension. There is no fucking sexual tension. He's bitter about their break-up. She's introverted-depressed and painfully aware of his bitterness. His shows of concern for her aren't meant to be building up to anything, they're meant to confuse the fuck out of her (see also Darcy's politeness to the Gardiners at Pemberley).
And there are NO FUCKING WORDS to describe the utter bastardization of Austen's work that is SHIFTING THE FUCKING CONVERSATION ABOUT THE NATURE OF MEN'S AND WOMEN'S CAPACITIES TO LOVE. THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT IS THAT WENTWORTH OVERHEARS THIS => DECLARATION OF LOVE. If he doesn't overhear this, he's not going to fucking write a lengthy note (which apparently he does in Bullet Time given how close behind him Anne is in this particular wankfest) about being "half agony, half hope" and how every fucking word she speaks pierces his fucking soul. He's especially not going to write that kind of note in reaction to her acting annoyed that people are spreading rumours about her. It's the heart and soul of the fucking book!
It's like taking the "Luke I am your father" scene, only Vader's talking to Lando instead and it's during the party on Endor. WHY WOULD YOU FUCK WITH THAT SCENE?
Just ... holy fucking crap. I get that modern audiences aren't as obsessed with the Regency period and Austen's style as I am. I get that some things might need to be spelled out a little more opaquely than in the original. But when you're totally changing conversations, who takes part in them, where they appear in the narrative, to the point where the final climactic getting-together scene makes NO sense in real time - I mean, that's not even mentioning the total trashing of most of the point of the plot - why would you bother? It's like the Earthsea adaptation where everyone was white - they didn't want to make *Earthsea*, they wanted a generic fantasy shtick with a popular name stuck on the front - so it's less Persuasion and more "Regency romances are pretty, the BBC wardrobe department's overflowing with pelisses, chicks dig it, oh crap which Jane Austen hasn't been done too recently?"
Holy crap on a crapstick with the painfully obvious exposition, for a start. It was like a one-episode moral-lesson storyline on Shortland Street, but more painful. OH MISS ELLIOT, I HEAR YOU LIKE THIS GUY, LET ME OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD RELATE HIS ENTIRE DASTARDLY BACKSTORY LIKE IT'S THE SYNOPSIS ON THE BACK COVER OF A MILLS AND BOON. OH CAPTAIN WENTWORTH, I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE CONFLICTED ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, LET ME RECITE PRECISELY THE KIND OF CHARACTER DETAIL WHICH WILL SHOW YOU THE ERROR OF YOUR ASSUMPTIONS.
There are no fucking lingering glances in Persuasion. Wentworth basically ignores Anne, confirming her opinion that he has no feelings for her whatsoever. Which doesn't work if every frame is them staring soulfully at each other.
There is no fucking point *inventing* new scenes to Create Sexual Tension. There is no fucking sexual tension. He's bitter about their break-up. She's introverted-depressed and painfully aware of his bitterness. His shows of concern for her aren't meant to be building up to anything, they're meant to confuse the fuck out of her (see also Darcy's politeness to the Gardiners at Pemberley).
And there are NO FUCKING WORDS to describe the utter bastardization of Austen's work that is SHIFTING THE FUCKING CONVERSATION ABOUT THE NATURE OF MEN'S AND WOMEN'S CAPACITIES TO LOVE. THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT IS THAT WENTWORTH OVERHEARS THIS => DECLARATION OF LOVE. If he doesn't overhear this, he's not going to fucking write a lengthy note (which apparently he does in Bullet Time given how close behind him Anne is in this particular wankfest) about being "half agony, half hope" and how every fucking word she speaks pierces his fucking soul. He's especially not going to write that kind of note in reaction to her acting annoyed that people are spreading rumours about her. It's the heart and soul of the fucking book!
It's like taking the "Luke I am your father" scene, only Vader's talking to Lando instead and it's during the party on Endor. WHY WOULD YOU FUCK WITH THAT SCENE?