Feminist Rant

[cigfran_cg]

A male friend posted an item about radical feminism and women who hate men.  I wasn't going to respond, but then I decided I would, but I got too wordy for an LJ comment, so I'm posting here after . . . how many months of no updates? ANYway. . .

Comments

[poltr1]

Thank you for this.

[kliklikitty]

While I agree that true equality has not yet been achieved; and will never stop trying to help bring about that equality. I personally see no point in holding on to a blanket of rage. I mean, really does holding on to anger for the past 3000+ years really enrich anyone's life?? It is only proper to fight against anything that is wrong and harmful to individuals and society, But I honestly thing that taking into yourself the pain of 3000+ years can only harm you the individual far more than it could ever help your cause.

[cigfran_cg]

I personally see no point in holding on to a blanket of rage.

And no-one's asking you to do so. The question wasn't "Should women hate men?" or even "Is it necessary to hate men in order to be a feminist?" It was "Why do some women hate men?" and of course my post is over-simplified, because the experiences and rationale behind any individual woman's feelings on the matter are individual. But the question was raised in the context of feminism so my reply was in that context. That, and the fact that, as the old consciousness-raising phrase had it "the personal is political".

I honestly think that taking into yourself the pain of 3000+ years can only harm you the individual far more than it could ever help your cause. Your opinion, your decision for yourself--fine. We each have to decide where to spend our energies and how to live our lives. But you don't get to put down those who decide differently. You--or anyone--don't get to put down those who have acknowledged and accepted that pain and rage and used it to fuel the fight

[kliklikitty]

I wasn't putting anyone down.

Lords know that I have acknowledged the pain and rage of multi-generations on many issues; from N.A. rights, religious & pagan persecutions to the holocaust & equal rights. However, I honestly believe that it is possible and probably healthier to acknowledge it and use it to fuel actions to correct wrongs, while not taking it into ones-self and there by "poisoning" ones heart & soul.

Please understand blanket hatred of any kind is something I personally can not in any way comprehend. My mind honestly can not comprehend it. Add in my natural tendencies to want to heal any hurt I encounter. Personally, every woman I have ever known who Hate all men, have personal & very painful histories with the men in their lives, & have decided for reasons of their own to hate all men for the actions of a few. But that is just my mileage. Your words were very insightful and thought provoking though, & that is why I responded to them.

[cigfran_cg]

I know that you, personally, have been involved in struggles for social justice--didn't mean to imply otherwise and my apologies for the wording that sounded that way.

To some extent, I actually agree with you. I don't think that, in general, hatred is a good or healthy thing. In many cases, to hold on to hatred is just to give those one hates continuing power over one's life. In many cases, the best thing one can do for one's own well-being is to let go of old hurts and move on.

But that advice comes with certain caveats. First, one needs to be out of the original damaging situation. If person X has done nasty things to person Y in the past, but is no longer in any position to harm Y, then Y is usually better off moving on and not letting X affect hir any more than necessary. But if X is still in a position to do nasty things to Y, then, in my opinion, it is foolish to tell Y to forgive X.

[The women I have known who hate men] have personal & very painful histories with the men in their lives, & have decided for