I hope these worries were just created in my head...

[cilicia_rain]

Doubts are setting it...The trust is there, but I don't want to be hurt. I know how I feel. Do you feel the same? I'm sorry if you ever doubt how I feel. You're one of my best friends. But am I one of yours? Is this paranoia always going to last? Will I always look at you knowing I can't get closer? Or can I? Would you allow me to? If I were you I

Comments

Paranoia controlled can lead to wisdom aquired

[neal_011088]

Uh oh, sounds like you are running headlong into potential relationship territory, and from recent conversations I think I probably know who with. Be careful, by the doubts you present in your post it seems you think a lot like myself. A lot of mine goes like this

1.) observe person without actually interacting
2.) start friendship, get attached that way
3.) elevate to relationship status

The biggest problem with 1. is you constantly tell yourself "Will I always look at you knowing I can't get closer? Or can I? Would you allow me to?" Believe me I've done this same thing for roughly 5 years or so.

Obviously you've already established the friendship portion of the relationship, but if you are doubting how the other side feels then back off a bit until you have more proof to move on to a relationship.

The point I'm trying to make is, be paranoid and don't let anyone in, until you know that they are for real through and through.

[cilicia_rain]

thank you, neal. that's really good advice. the thing is, this is one of my best friends. i love him as a friend, and i feel so so SO protected with him if i ever were able to actually go out with him. he always tells me how i feel, and i trust him, it's just i don't understand how he can like me. cus if i were him i wouldn't like me. but he does. and i like him. he's really showing me how to be brave and stuff, but at the same time i'm just so worried that history will repeat itself. not because it's him (because i know he'd never be crappy to me) but the whole situation of us liking each other is kinda scary. i love it. believe me, i do. it's just that i'm not used to it. it's something new (especially since it's mutual and he's so supportive of me about everything.) i'm glad we like each other. i just don't feel like i'm worth his time, ya know? it's seriously nothing about him. it's all me...

[cilicia_rain]

i meant to say he always tells me how he feels

[neal_011088]

Well ride it out, time will tell whether or not you two will work out, and besides eventually you will be allowed to date or whatever (you're not allowed to?) so just take your time, you don't want to rush things no matter how good of friends you are. Believe me, it ruined me for relationships, now look where I am, I couldn't get a date if I payed someone.