Congratulations Chapter 1
Title: Congratulations
Author: cillab42
Artist: forhimxx
Fandom: Supernatural RPF
Word Count: 21,231
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen, Chad Michael Murray, Steve Carlson, Misha Collins Christian Kane
Warnings sexual context strong language, miscarriage, mpreg
Summary: Jensen and Jared have been trying for years to have an baby and after suffering five miscarriages, he was terrified to try for a sixth time. Suddenly at 45 fat he's fat, pregnant, the butt of Chad's jokes and now the father of a six year old girl that he'd thought was lost to him forever.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the people in this story, just using their likeness.
A/N:This has been fun and an interesting write for me because for some reason I decided to write two stories for this challenge. With the help of some good people I managed to pull it off. I'd like to thank saltandburnboys for making me want to attempt writing mpreg and then making my next three stories in that genre. I want to give a huge shout out to keepwakingup for her wonderful help as my beta. Any mistakes found are my own. And then there's the art, OMG it's wonderful thanks for the great art from forhimxx. I'd also like t give a huge hug to chosenfire28 for making this such a wonderful experience.
Link to fic master post: here
Link to art master post: here
AO3
They looked so fucking happy, Jensen thought, as he enviously watched the couple in the restaurant. It was a pregnant Carrier and his partner-husband-boyfriend, whatever, Jensen wasn’t sure which. But they suddenly reminded him of himself and Jared when they were that age, young and newly in love, thinking they had forever to start a family. That was when they had just started trying to get pregnant, before all of the heartache that went along with it and before they had finally given up.
But here he sat twenty years, five miscarriages and a painful court loss to a surrogate later, childless and forty-five, but still so in love with Jared that it hurt that he couldn’t give him the only thing he’d ever asked of Jensen, a child.
He tried not to let himself get emotional about it, but sometimes when Jared was away and he was home alone, he felt the pain of being unable to feel a life growing inside of him. He used to cry himself to sleep every night, and Jared would hold him until he had no more tears to cry. He still cried, but now it was not every day, mainly when Jared wasn’t around, so only one of them felt like a failure.
Jensen checked his watch, not really wanting to know the time, but it gave him something to do other than stare at the couple and end up in a funk before his nephew joined him for lunch. He smiled as he thought about Logan all grown up; well, almost grown. He’d be heading to college the next year and he was in L.A. visiting UCLA as a possible choice of schools. Jensen hoped he chose the school because it would be nice having him this close where they could spoil him even more than they already did.
He spotted the teenager as soon as he entered the restaurant and noticed how he caught the eye of several of the patrons as he passed them. He laughed and thought that the next generation of Ackles turned just as many heads as the one before it had. Well he laughed until he saw the t-shirt that Logan wore. Princeton. The last time he checked Princeton was in New Jersey not California.
“Hi Uncle Jensen,” Logan greeted with a sheepish smile as he sat across from his uncle.
“Princeton, huh?” Jensen asked with a raised eyebrow.
“I didn’t know how to tell you and Uncle Jared because I knew you guys wanted me to come to college here, but Princeton was always my first choice.”
“Logan, this is your life, and as much as Jared and I wanted you to come here and hang with us, you have to do what’s right for you.” Jensen lied through his fake smile. “So what’re you going to order? The steak is good here.”
He saw his nephew visibly relax when he changed the subject, and he knew that he must have said the right things. Once he’d seen the t-shirt, he’d wanted to grab the boy and shake him for leading him on. He hadn’t though, and he forced himself to sit through the lunch and chew the sawdust that had cost him a month’s worth of groceries just so his nephew wouldn’t feel bad about going to the school of his choice instead of Jensen’s.
As soon as he returned home after seeing Logan off at the hell that was LAX, he went straight for the liquor cabinet. After he poured himself a drink he walked upstairs to the room that he and Jared had first planned to use as a nursery. Neither of them had entered it since the court took their child four years ago, until earlier this year when Logan started visiting colleges.
Jared had paid someone to clear out the baby things that he’d bought over the years and purchased furniture so it would be ready for Logan. They had fought about it, but Jared hadn’t wanted him to go through the emotional upheaval that clearing out the room would have caused. He knew Jared was right and he really didn’t put up that much of a fight because all he’d been able to concentrate on at the time was the fact that he would finally have a child in that room, even if it wasn’t his and Jared’s.
They hadn’t painted or decorated; they were leaving that for Logan when he moved in. Jensen sat on the floor with his back to the foot of the bed and cried. How pathetic was he? He couldn’t convince a seventeen-year-old boy to come the land of sun, sand, and hot girls so that he could pretend that for once he had a child. He had never once entertained the thought that this child would reject him as well.
He had promised himself that he wasn’t going to do this again, wasn’t going to let himself be ripped apart by a kid, but dear god! How many times was he going to get kicked in the balls for wanting something of his own to love? He hadn’t realized how much he had pinned his hopes on Logan until Logan was gone. How was it the he felt like he now had an empty nest when his nest had never been filled?
He was still sitting in the same place when Jared came home from a meeting a couple of hours later. His tears had dried, but the pain was still sitting in his heart, threatening to explode from his chest and splatter across the freshly painted room. Jared had learned over the years that no reassurance would soothe Jensen’s hurt when it came to the disappointment of children, so he just held him until the heaving stopped.
“Jay, why do you love me?” Jensen asked with a voice that was hoarse from crying.
Jared removed his arms from Jensen’s shoulders and turned his body so they were facing each other. “What do you mean why do I love you?”
“I can’t give you the only thing you’ve ever wanted from me, so why are you still here with me when you could easily find someone else who can!” Jensen clarified.
“The only thing I’ve ever wanted from you was your love; the rest would’ve been gravy, Jen.” Jared tried to reassure him. “Hell we didn’t even know you were a Carrier when we got together, so that wasn’t the attraction baby. It’s always been you.”
“I just thought that we’d have kids like everyone else, but now we’re going to all of our friends’ kids’ recitals, and birthday parties, and now graduations. I’m happy for them Jay, I am, but god it hurts! And you know what else hurts? We’ve been denied every fucking way we’ve tried but it doesn’t seem to bother you.”
“It’s not that it didn’t bother me or that I’m not hurt. It’s just that I gave up on that dream a long time ago, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to keep putting you through that. The hoping and praying that always ended in disappointment, not to mention the toll it took on your body.” Jared explained. “You’re enough for me Jen.”
As though to prove it, Jared turned Jensen’s face towards his and began to kiss the tracks of his tears until he reached those full soft lips, where he began to worship Jensen’s mouth. The kiss was soft and gentle. It wasn’t about lust, it was about love. It was Jared showing Jensen that he wanted to spend the next twenty years with him, children or not.
At least Jensen hoped that’s what the kiss was saying, because Jared had put his foot down a year ago and told Jensen that they were going to stop trying for a baby. Jared had refused to touch him until he had gotten rid of thermometers, ovulation kits, and even pregnancy tests. Before Jensen had completely given in, Jared had gone out of the country for six months to film a movie, so this would actually be the first non-baby making sex that they’d had in about eighteen years.
“We’re too old for this,” Jensen told Jared as he pushed the younger man off him to sit up.
“Are you saying that we’re too old to have sex?” Jared questioned in a voice filled with disbelief.
“Oh, no,” Jensen corrected, “I’m just saying that we are too old to have sex on the floor when we have a nice comfy bed available a few feet away in our bedroom.”
Standing up first, Jared reached for Jensen’s hand to help him up, “Come on old man, let’s see what you’ve got.
After twenty years, Jensen knew Jared’s body as well as he knew his own, like the fact that Jared loved it when he sucked on his Adams apple and that Jared has dimples in his lower back as well as on his face. Jared knew that he drove Jensen crazy when he sucked on Jensen’s collarbone and he’d declared the freckle on Jensen’s hip his favorite because it was the only one in that location and it needed special attention. Even with his flaws and knowledge, after all these years, it still amazed him that he could make this beautiful man desperate for him.
There was a time when someone would have been thrown against a wall, clothes would have been ripped, or they would have never made it to the bedroom at all. The passion and the urgency are still there, they were just demonstrated differently, because it didn’t matter how many bad guys Jared beat up in his movies, he just couldn’t move the way he used too.
Once inside the room, Jensen started to undress, but Jared stilled his hands wanting the pleasure for himself. Jared started with a kiss as he unbuttoned the shirt Jensen was wearing. He had to smile because he still couldn’t resist Jensen’s full lips.
Jared kissed each bit of pale, freckled skin he exposed as though he was discovering it for the first time. Once the shirt had been removed, Jared quickly took off his pants and shoes. The minute they were gone, he bent down and took Jensen’s cock in his mouth. Jensen smiled when he heard the pop in Jared’s knee, because he remembered nursing him after the surgery.
Taking pity on Jared’s knees, Jensen reluctantly pulled him off and guided them towards the bed where they’d both be comfortable, enjoying the show as Jared undressed. At forty-one, he was in better shape than most men half his age and Jensen still got a thrill knowing that it was his.
When Jared joined Jensen on the bed, Jensen bent his knees and spread his legs, giving his lover room to slide in between them. Instead of going back to Jensen’s cock, Jared slid up Jensen’s body to claim his lips in another kiss. The feel of skin on skin made it feel as though their bodies were kissing and Jensen let out a low whine at the sensation.
“Jay,” He sighed. “Missed you like this, been too long.”
“I know baby,” Jared responded. “I know. Trust me; I’ll take care of you.”
Jensen writhed and moaned as Jared proceeded to do just that, starting by kissing his way back down Jensen’s body. When he came to Jensen’s right hip, he stopped, looking up at Jensen, and asked, “How is my favorite freckle? He still looks lonely so I’ll have to kiss him and make it better.”
“It’s not the only thing that’s been lonely and needs kissing Jay. Please don’t tease,” he begged as he bucked his hips under Jared’s tender onslaught.
“Always serious about this,” he promised, and after showing his favorite freckle love, he moved down to Jensen’s cock and, like the freckle, started with a kiss. He worked his tongue around the head, delved into the slit there, and smiled at the noises that he pulled from Jensen.
He moved his mouth down until the crown hit the back of his throat and slowly began to bob his head and each drag of his mouth pulled a different sound from Jensen.
“God Jay, your mouth, so good,” Everything felt so good, but Jared was torturing him with the slow movements. Each time Jensen was going to complain, that warm wet mouth would swallow him down, and the only sound he could make was some kind of non-human whine. Jensen decided that he was going to try to change the pace and bucked his hips upwards to get a faster rhythm going, only to be pinned to the bed by Jared’s large forearm.
When that didn’t work, Jensen wrapped his hands in Jared’s thick hair in an attempt to to spur him own and Jared stopped the wicked things he’d been doing with his mouth, giving Jensen an evil look. Jensen just gave in, and let that mouth go back where it belonged.
Jensen had had enough. He wasn’t going to last if Jared did get inside him soon. Years of trying for a baby had stopped them from using condoms. Very carefully, because he didn’t want to dislodge Jared’s mouth, he pulled open the drawer on the nightstand and grabbed the bottle of lube, before tossing it to Jared.
Jared grabbed the bottle and liberally coated his fingers, then pressed the first in past Jensen’s tight ring up to his knuckle.
“Please…” Jensen begged and pressed down, trying to fuck himself on the lubed finger that was opening him up.
“So beautiful Jen… so beautiful,” Jared said reverently as he added a second, and then a third finger. “Still the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.”
“Ready, Jay, please god, please I’m ready.” Jensen sobbed, reaching down and trying to pull the big man up his body.
“Patience, Jen,” Jared said as he moved to his knees, prompting Jensen to spread his legs wider. He lined his cock up with Jensen’s tight hole and slid home. Once he bottomed out, Jensen wrapped his legs around Jared’s hips and held on.
It had been so long, and it seemed as though Jensen’s entire body was on fire while Jared continued his torment of slow, steady strokes, no matter how much Jensen encouraged him to go faster. It felt so damned good as wave after wave of pleasure washed through him. Jensen wasn’t sure if the pleasure was so intense because it had been so long, or if it was because they were making love for pleasure and not trying to make a baby, but either way, it was good.
“Touch yourself Jen,” Jared whispered as though he was sharing a secret.
With trembling hands, Jensen reached between then and began to stroke his dick. It added another level of pleasure and he didn’t even mind when he realized that his strokes matched Jared’s. He moved his hand up, let his thumb slide through the precome, and then down again, until his entire body was one large erogenous zone.
He tried to look at Jared, but his eyes were too unfocused. He did make out the smile that Jared bestowed on him before he leaned in to mouth along Jensen’s jawline. A few minutes later when Jared’s teeth scraped that sensitive spot behind his ear, Jensen felt his balls tighten up and he came, making a mess on both of their stomachs.
As soon as Jensen came, Jared took Jensen by surprise by speeding up his strokes, hitting his sweet spot over and over, making his dick twitch and think that it was going to get hard again, before he felt the warmth of Jared’s come painting his insides.
Jensen was the first to admit that his recovery time wasn’t the same as it used to be, but then neither was Jared’s. Because they were no longer able to fuck like rabbits, Jensen believed this had become the most intimate time that they shared. This post-coital time was when they were at their most vulnerable and told each other their deepest, darkest secrets that no one else got to know. It was during this time when Jensen had first confessed to Jared that he felt like a failure because he couldn’t give him a child and Jared had told him that it didn’t matter.
“I love you, Jensen,” Jared vowed.
“I love you too, Jared,” Jensen told Jared. “I know that I get obsessed, but I’m trying, I really am.”
“I know that. I just want you to stop beating yourself up over something that you had no control over.”
They lay there, just kissing and reconnecting with each other. Jared would be gone again the next week on another overseas location, and Jensen wanted to make sure that he was coming back, because he was old enough to know that love didn’t necessarily conquer all.
“I. I got rid of everything while you were gone,” Jensen quietly confessed.
Jared had been gone for a while so that he could avoid talking about babies. In the past six months, the only sex Jensen had had been with is right hand. When Jared did come home, it wasn’t for long, so Jensen finally got the message. He threw everything away: the books, the holistic shit, and the tests. Eighteen years was long enough to realize that a baby wasn’t in the cards for them. But Jared, Jared was. Jared was here, Jared was real, and Jensen knew Jared was the one thing that he couldn’t live without in his life.
“I know and I’m glad. No, I’m goddamned proud of you because I know how hard that had to have been for you.”
The next two weeks were like a second honeymoon for them. There was lots of touching, kissing, handholding, and sex. Lots of loving.
Two days before Jared was due to go on location, Chad and Kenzie invited them over for a family cookout. Jensen could tell that Jared was nervous, because most of their friends had children, several had new babies, and he wasn’t sure how Jensen was going to react to being around them. Hell, Jensen wasn’t sure but he had to start somewhere.
They were there ten minutes when some of the older kids grabbed him for an impromptu wrestling match, and Jensen found that the experience was different when he wasn’t constantly obsessing about when he would have his own kids. He didn’t fool himself; it was going to be a while before those feelings were completely gone. But for now, he’d just take them one day at a time.
Masterpost Chapter 2
Author: cillab42
Artist: forhimxx
Fandom: Supernatural RPF
Word Count: 21,231
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen, Chad Michael Murray, Steve Carlson, Misha Collins Christian Kane
Warnings sexual context strong language, miscarriage, mpreg
Summary: Jensen and Jared have been trying for years to have an baby and after suffering five miscarriages, he was terrified to try for a sixth time. Suddenly at 45 fat he's fat, pregnant, the butt of Chad's jokes and now the father of a six year old girl that he'd thought was lost to him forever.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the people in this story, just using their likeness.
A/N:This has been fun and an interesting write for me because for some reason I decided to write two stories for this challenge. With the help of some good people I managed to pull it off. I'd like to thank saltandburnboys for making me want to attempt writing mpreg and then making my next three stories in that genre. I want to give a huge shout out to keepwakingup for her wonderful help as my beta. Any mistakes found are my own. And then there's the art, OMG it's wonderful thanks for the great art from forhimxx. I'd also like t give a huge hug to chosenfire28 for making this such a wonderful experience.
Link to fic master post: here
Link to art master post: here
AO3
They looked so fucking happy, Jensen thought, as he enviously watched the couple in the restaurant. It was a pregnant Carrier and his partner-husband-boyfriend, whatever, Jensen wasn’t sure which. But they suddenly reminded him of himself and Jared when they were that age, young and newly in love, thinking they had forever to start a family. That was when they had just started trying to get pregnant, before all of the heartache that went along with it and before they had finally given up.
But here he sat twenty years, five miscarriages and a painful court loss to a surrogate later, childless and forty-five, but still so in love with Jared that it hurt that he couldn’t give him the only thing he’d ever asked of Jensen, a child.
He tried not to let himself get emotional about it, but sometimes when Jared was away and he was home alone, he felt the pain of being unable to feel a life growing inside of him. He used to cry himself to sleep every night, and Jared would hold him until he had no more tears to cry. He still cried, but now it was not every day, mainly when Jared wasn’t around, so only one of them felt like a failure.
Jensen checked his watch, not really wanting to know the time, but it gave him something to do other than stare at the couple and end up in a funk before his nephew joined him for lunch. He smiled as he thought about Logan all grown up; well, almost grown. He’d be heading to college the next year and he was in L.A. visiting UCLA as a possible choice of schools. Jensen hoped he chose the school because it would be nice having him this close where they could spoil him even more than they already did.
He spotted the teenager as soon as he entered the restaurant and noticed how he caught the eye of several of the patrons as he passed them. He laughed and thought that the next generation of Ackles turned just as many heads as the one before it had. Well he laughed until he saw the t-shirt that Logan wore. Princeton. The last time he checked Princeton was in New Jersey not California.
“Hi Uncle Jensen,” Logan greeted with a sheepish smile as he sat across from his uncle.
“Princeton, huh?” Jensen asked with a raised eyebrow.
“I didn’t know how to tell you and Uncle Jared because I knew you guys wanted me to come to college here, but Princeton was always my first choice.”
“Logan, this is your life, and as much as Jared and I wanted you to come here and hang with us, you have to do what’s right for you.” Jensen lied through his fake smile. “So what’re you going to order? The steak is good here.”
He saw his nephew visibly relax when he changed the subject, and he knew that he must have said the right things. Once he’d seen the t-shirt, he’d wanted to grab the boy and shake him for leading him on. He hadn’t though, and he forced himself to sit through the lunch and chew the sawdust that had cost him a month’s worth of groceries just so his nephew wouldn’t feel bad about going to the school of his choice instead of Jensen’s.
As soon as he returned home after seeing Logan off at the hell that was LAX, he went straight for the liquor cabinet. After he poured himself a drink he walked upstairs to the room that he and Jared had first planned to use as a nursery. Neither of them had entered it since the court took their child four years ago, until earlier this year when Logan started visiting colleges.
Jared had paid someone to clear out the baby things that he’d bought over the years and purchased furniture so it would be ready for Logan. They had fought about it, but Jared hadn’t wanted him to go through the emotional upheaval that clearing out the room would have caused. He knew Jared was right and he really didn’t put up that much of a fight because all he’d been able to concentrate on at the time was the fact that he would finally have a child in that room, even if it wasn’t his and Jared’s.
They hadn’t painted or decorated; they were leaving that for Logan when he moved in. Jensen sat on the floor with his back to the foot of the bed and cried. How pathetic was he? He couldn’t convince a seventeen-year-old boy to come the land of sun, sand, and hot girls so that he could pretend that for once he had a child. He had never once entertained the thought that this child would reject him as well.
He had promised himself that he wasn’t going to do this again, wasn’t going to let himself be ripped apart by a kid, but dear god! How many times was he going to get kicked in the balls for wanting something of his own to love? He hadn’t realized how much he had pinned his hopes on Logan until Logan was gone. How was it the he felt like he now had an empty nest when his nest had never been filled?
He was still sitting in the same place when Jared came home from a meeting a couple of hours later. His tears had dried, but the pain was still sitting in his heart, threatening to explode from his chest and splatter across the freshly painted room. Jared had learned over the years that no reassurance would soothe Jensen’s hurt when it came to the disappointment of children, so he just held him until the heaving stopped.
“Jay, why do you love me?” Jensen asked with a voice that was hoarse from crying.
Jared removed his arms from Jensen’s shoulders and turned his body so they were facing each other. “What do you mean why do I love you?”
“I can’t give you the only thing you’ve ever wanted from me, so why are you still here with me when you could easily find someone else who can!” Jensen clarified.
“The only thing I’ve ever wanted from you was your love; the rest would’ve been gravy, Jen.” Jared tried to reassure him. “Hell we didn’t even know you were a Carrier when we got together, so that wasn’t the attraction baby. It’s always been you.”
“I just thought that we’d have kids like everyone else, but now we’re going to all of our friends’ kids’ recitals, and birthday parties, and now graduations. I’m happy for them Jay, I am, but god it hurts! And you know what else hurts? We’ve been denied every fucking way we’ve tried but it doesn’t seem to bother you.”
“It’s not that it didn’t bother me or that I’m not hurt. It’s just that I gave up on that dream a long time ago, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to keep putting you through that. The hoping and praying that always ended in disappointment, not to mention the toll it took on your body.” Jared explained. “You’re enough for me Jen.”
As though to prove it, Jared turned Jensen’s face towards his and began to kiss the tracks of his tears until he reached those full soft lips, where he began to worship Jensen’s mouth. The kiss was soft and gentle. It wasn’t about lust, it was about love. It was Jared showing Jensen that he wanted to spend the next twenty years with him, children or not.
At least Jensen hoped that’s what the kiss was saying, because Jared had put his foot down a year ago and told Jensen that they were going to stop trying for a baby. Jared had refused to touch him until he had gotten rid of thermometers, ovulation kits, and even pregnancy tests. Before Jensen had completely given in, Jared had gone out of the country for six months to film a movie, so this would actually be the first non-baby making sex that they’d had in about eighteen years.
“We’re too old for this,” Jensen told Jared as he pushed the younger man off him to sit up.
“Are you saying that we’re too old to have sex?” Jared questioned in a voice filled with disbelief.
“Oh, no,” Jensen corrected, “I’m just saying that we are too old to have sex on the floor when we have a nice comfy bed available a few feet away in our bedroom.”
Standing up first, Jared reached for Jensen’s hand to help him up, “Come on old man, let’s see what you’ve got.
After twenty years, Jensen knew Jared’s body as well as he knew his own, like the fact that Jared loved it when he sucked on his Adams apple and that Jared has dimples in his lower back as well as on his face. Jared knew that he drove Jensen crazy when he sucked on Jensen’s collarbone and he’d declared the freckle on Jensen’s hip his favorite because it was the only one in that location and it needed special attention. Even with his flaws and knowledge, after all these years, it still amazed him that he could make this beautiful man desperate for him.
There was a time when someone would have been thrown against a wall, clothes would have been ripped, or they would have never made it to the bedroom at all. The passion and the urgency are still there, they were just demonstrated differently, because it didn’t matter how many bad guys Jared beat up in his movies, he just couldn’t move the way he used too.
Once inside the room, Jensen started to undress, but Jared stilled his hands wanting the pleasure for himself. Jared started with a kiss as he unbuttoned the shirt Jensen was wearing. He had to smile because he still couldn’t resist Jensen’s full lips.
Jared kissed each bit of pale, freckled skin he exposed as though he was discovering it for the first time. Once the shirt had been removed, Jared quickly took off his pants and shoes. The minute they were gone, he bent down and took Jensen’s cock in his mouth. Jensen smiled when he heard the pop in Jared’s knee, because he remembered nursing him after the surgery.
Taking pity on Jared’s knees, Jensen reluctantly pulled him off and guided them towards the bed where they’d both be comfortable, enjoying the show as Jared undressed. At forty-one, he was in better shape than most men half his age and Jensen still got a thrill knowing that it was his.
When Jared joined Jensen on the bed, Jensen bent his knees and spread his legs, giving his lover room to slide in between them. Instead of going back to Jensen’s cock, Jared slid up Jensen’s body to claim his lips in another kiss. The feel of skin on skin made it feel as though their bodies were kissing and Jensen let out a low whine at the sensation.
“Jay,” He sighed. “Missed you like this, been too long.”
“I know baby,” Jared responded. “I know. Trust me; I’ll take care of you.”
Jensen writhed and moaned as Jared proceeded to do just that, starting by kissing his way back down Jensen’s body. When he came to Jensen’s right hip, he stopped, looking up at Jensen, and asked, “How is my favorite freckle? He still looks lonely so I’ll have to kiss him and make it better.”
“It’s not the only thing that’s been lonely and needs kissing Jay. Please don’t tease,” he begged as he bucked his hips under Jared’s tender onslaught.
“Always serious about this,” he promised, and after showing his favorite freckle love, he moved down to Jensen’s cock and, like the freckle, started with a kiss. He worked his tongue around the head, delved into the slit there, and smiled at the noises that he pulled from Jensen.
He moved his mouth down until the crown hit the back of his throat and slowly began to bob his head and each drag of his mouth pulled a different sound from Jensen.
“God Jay, your mouth, so good,” Everything felt so good, but Jared was torturing him with the slow movements. Each time Jensen was going to complain, that warm wet mouth would swallow him down, and the only sound he could make was some kind of non-human whine. Jensen decided that he was going to try to change the pace and bucked his hips upwards to get a faster rhythm going, only to be pinned to the bed by Jared’s large forearm.
When that didn’t work, Jensen wrapped his hands in Jared’s thick hair in an attempt to to spur him own and Jared stopped the wicked things he’d been doing with his mouth, giving Jensen an evil look. Jensen just gave in, and let that mouth go back where it belonged.
Jensen had had enough. He wasn’t going to last if Jared did get inside him soon. Years of trying for a baby had stopped them from using condoms. Very carefully, because he didn’t want to dislodge Jared’s mouth, he pulled open the drawer on the nightstand and grabbed the bottle of lube, before tossing it to Jared.
Jared grabbed the bottle and liberally coated his fingers, then pressed the first in past Jensen’s tight ring up to his knuckle.
“Please…” Jensen begged and pressed down, trying to fuck himself on the lubed finger that was opening him up.
“So beautiful Jen… so beautiful,” Jared said reverently as he added a second, and then a third finger. “Still the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.”
“Ready, Jay, please god, please I’m ready.” Jensen sobbed, reaching down and trying to pull the big man up his body.
“Patience, Jen,” Jared said as he moved to his knees, prompting Jensen to spread his legs wider. He lined his cock up with Jensen’s tight hole and slid home. Once he bottomed out, Jensen wrapped his legs around Jared’s hips and held on.
It had been so long, and it seemed as though Jensen’s entire body was on fire while Jared continued his torment of slow, steady strokes, no matter how much Jensen encouraged him to go faster. It felt so damned good as wave after wave of pleasure washed through him. Jensen wasn’t sure if the pleasure was so intense because it had been so long, or if it was because they were making love for pleasure and not trying to make a baby, but either way, it was good.
“Touch yourself Jen,” Jared whispered as though he was sharing a secret.
With trembling hands, Jensen reached between then and began to stroke his dick. It added another level of pleasure and he didn’t even mind when he realized that his strokes matched Jared’s. He moved his hand up, let his thumb slide through the precome, and then down again, until his entire body was one large erogenous zone.
He tried to look at Jared, but his eyes were too unfocused. He did make out the smile that Jared bestowed on him before he leaned in to mouth along Jensen’s jawline. A few minutes later when Jared’s teeth scraped that sensitive spot behind his ear, Jensen felt his balls tighten up and he came, making a mess on both of their stomachs.
As soon as Jensen came, Jared took Jensen by surprise by speeding up his strokes, hitting his sweet spot over and over, making his dick twitch and think that it was going to get hard again, before he felt the warmth of Jared’s come painting his insides.
Jensen was the first to admit that his recovery time wasn’t the same as it used to be, but then neither was Jared’s. Because they were no longer able to fuck like rabbits, Jensen believed this had become the most intimate time that they shared. This post-coital time was when they were at their most vulnerable and told each other their deepest, darkest secrets that no one else got to know. It was during this time when Jensen had first confessed to Jared that he felt like a failure because he couldn’t give him a child and Jared had told him that it didn’t matter.
“I love you, Jensen,” Jared vowed.
“I love you too, Jared,” Jensen told Jared. “I know that I get obsessed, but I’m trying, I really am.”
“I know that. I just want you to stop beating yourself up over something that you had no control over.”
They lay there, just kissing and reconnecting with each other. Jared would be gone again the next week on another overseas location, and Jensen wanted to make sure that he was coming back, because he was old enough to know that love didn’t necessarily conquer all.
“I. I got rid of everything while you were gone,” Jensen quietly confessed.
Jared had been gone for a while so that he could avoid talking about babies. In the past six months, the only sex Jensen had had been with is right hand. When Jared did come home, it wasn’t for long, so Jensen finally got the message. He threw everything away: the books, the holistic shit, and the tests. Eighteen years was long enough to realize that a baby wasn’t in the cards for them. But Jared, Jared was. Jared was here, Jared was real, and Jensen knew Jared was the one thing that he couldn’t live without in his life.
“I know and I’m glad. No, I’m goddamned proud of you because I know how hard that had to have been for you.”
The next two weeks were like a second honeymoon for them. There was lots of touching, kissing, handholding, and sex. Lots of loving.
Two days before Jared was due to go on location, Chad and Kenzie invited them over for a family cookout. Jensen could tell that Jared was nervous, because most of their friends had children, several had new babies, and he wasn’t sure how Jensen was going to react to being around them. Hell, Jensen wasn’t sure but he had to start somewhere.
They were there ten minutes when some of the older kids grabbed him for an impromptu wrestling match, and Jensen found that the experience was different when he wasn’t constantly obsessing about when he would have his own kids. He didn’t fool himself; it was going to be a while before those feelings were completely gone. But for now, he’d just take them one day at a time.
Masterpost Chapter 2