Fic (Complete): Summer 2010 - Glee, Kurt/Finn - 4/4
Summer 2010, Part 4:
There was a note on the fridge when he got home: on errands, I’ll be home before dinner, don’t eat too much crap, Love, Mom--so at least he wasn’t going to get Kurt skinned and himself grounded. Finn slumped down into one of the kitchen chairs, dizzy, and watched Kurt zoom around. Kurt gave him water and aspirins and a bagel and some Gatorade and a banana, and possibly a lecture, only Finn couldn’t really be sure about that because he was too busy watching the way the late-afternoon sun coming through the windows lit Kurt up and made his eyes change color.
“You’re so fucking pretty.”
Kurt sighed. “Don’t change the subject.”
“I’m not. That’s basically the only subject I’ve been paying attention to.”
“God. I suppose I should be grateful you’re not a mean drunk.”
“Really grateful. Totally grateful.” He shook his head, considering. “So grateful you should have sex with me right now.”
Kurt raised an eyebrow. “I think you may not be familiar with some of the side-effects of being really drunk.”
Finn raspberried loudly. “I think you may not be familiar with some of the side-effects of you being really hot.”
Kurt snorted, but led him upstairs anyway. It seemed to take forever to wrestle out of his clothes, even with Kurt helping, but finally he was naked and laid out on his bed and probably not going to slide off the edge of the world anytime soon, no matter how it felt.
It turned out there were at least two big advantages to making out while drunk: first of all, it was a whole lot easier to just lie there and let Kurt do things to him, and second, nothing was embarrassing--it all just felt really, really good. He didn’t care how loud he was or how much he wanted it or what kind of ridiculous things might come tumbling out of his mouth, and that was slutty and satisfying and pretty much fantastic. He distinctly remembered kind of yelling at Kurt that he was about to come in his fucking amazing mouth right before he did just that, groaning with no breath left while the world spun and his toes curled and everything in him came apart. He yanked Kurt up for a kiss afterwards and--God, he was definitely turning into some kind of sick pervert because he loved that, he really did. And he might have actually said that out loud except that right about then he realized that Kurt still had all his clothes on.
“Hey,” he gasped when he could. “You’re… why are you? Pants!” He yanked at the waist of Kurt’s pants, hoping his point would come across.
“I’m good,” Kurt said, lowering his head to nibble the curve of Finn’s neck, which was… very hot, and horribly distracting.
“No,” Finn said, wriggling a little. “You need to--I mean, I want to--we should--nrrgh--”
“Not while you’re drunk, we shouldn’t,” Kurt said calmly, which was totally annoying and stupid.
“That’s stupid. Also annoying,” Finn said, because Kurt needed to know these things. “Why not?”
“Because. Because you’re not--hey, whoa,” Kurt said, moving Finn’s hand away from the front of his pants, where he’d been blindly and hopefully groping. “We can… later, okay? Some other time.”
Kurt sat up, moving to the edge of the bed, and Finn would have gone after him except that someone had sneakily replaced all his bones with taffy, and he was kind of afraid that if he moved he might just puddle right onto the floor. “But…” Finn said, trying and failing not to sound whiny. “But I want to.”
Kurt’s hand settled gently in the middle of his chest. “I know. But not… look, Finn. It’s a line, that’s all. No big deal.”
“What line?” Finn squinted down at his chest.
Kurt frowned. “Lines, I guess. My lines. Back when we… when I first came to see you, I made you some promises--”
“But that was before, before…”
“Yes. It was. But you weren’t the only one I made promises to--I made some to myself, too. Some then, and then some more, some other ones, later. I had to, to make sure I wouldn’t… to make it okay that I… that we… I had to.” He took a breath. “One of my lines is that I don’t take advantage of you. And that means… well, it means I’m keeping my pants on. For now.”
Finn felt dizzy all over again, and his brain hurt. This was important. This was something they had to talk about, something he had to understand even though his head felt like it had been stuffed with cotton wool. “Wait. Wait. You need to tell me--I don’t think I--”
“Hey, boys--I’m home!” Finn’s Mom called from downstairs, and the two of them stared wide-eyed at each other for one split second before Kurt jumped up off the bed, and then they were both scrambling to rescue the sheets and blanket from where Finn had unceremoniously dumped them on the floor.
“Boxers,” Finn hissed, and Kurt scooped them up and tossed them at him
Kurt yanked the pillows out from under his head and piled them mostly over his face. “Stay under here. I’ll tell her you got too much sun at the pool today--that you’ve got a headache.”
“Yeah, good. That’s perfect.”
“Finn? Kurt? Hello?” still downstairs, but closer.
Finn could only see a tiny slice of the room between two pillows, but he saw Kurt get almost to the door before he turned around and rushed back. Then Kurt was under the pillow with him, kissing him hotly, and Finn felt something like a thick, tight wire deep in his chest do this weird twangy-twingey thing that almost hurt. “Drink more water before you go to bed, okay?” Kurt whispered to him, and then he was gone.
He heard Kurt and his Mom talking quietly downstairs, which gave him just enough time to get his breathing under control by the time his Mom came tiptoeing in.
***
It turned out that Kurt liked ice cream in cones, not cups, and that watching him lick one was basically porn. Finn stared at his giant sundae until there was nothing left but some streaks of sugar soup at the bottom of the bowl, then kept his eyes firmly on Mercedes, on Quinn, on random shoppers, on the cute girl working at the Slice Factory counter--anywhere he could look that didn’t feature Kurt Hummel sexing up a strawberry ice cream cone.
Porn problem aside, it was good to see Mercedes and Quinn. They both seemed happy and playful and relaxed, and since he didn’t think he’d ever seen Quinn that way for more than a second at a time, it was kind of awesome. “So, uh, was camp fun?”
Quinn smiled. “It was nice--I mean, the other kids there were nice, from all over, and it was good to be away for a while. But it’s good to be home, too. And sometimes, I mean, the people who ran the place were… uh, they had zeal.”
Mercedes made a ‘tsk’ noise. “Seriously. I mean, I love the Lord and all, but those people piled on the Jesus like it was salt on steak. If I go the rest of my life without singing ‘Michael Row The Boat Ashore’ again, I’ll count myself blessed.” She shrugged. “We mostly hung out with the other girls in our cabin, though. They were pretty badass. It was cool.”
Mercedes and Quinn shared a look that he totally didn’t understand, and then Mercedes turned to him. “So I heard you and Rachel broke up. Again.”
“Yeah, we… uh. We did. She did. She broke up with me back at the beginning of summer.”
“Her loss,” Quinn said in that way she had that sounded totally sweet, but really really wasn’t. Mercedes snickered.
He shrugged. “I think… I mean it sucked at first, but, yeah, it’s okay. I’ve been really busy, you know, with work and, uh, stuff.”
“Uh huh,” Mercedes said, leaning towards him. “So you’re not dating anyone?”
“No.” He wondered if it would ever get easier to say that. Or feel less like he was betraying something. Or someone.
“Any fair maiden in pursuit of Finn’s heart is going to have to do battle with the deadly engine from a 1972 Stingray,” Kurt said dramatically, wiping his fingers on a napkin. Thank God he was done with his ice cream.
“Hey--that car is a work of art,” Finn said defensively.
“See?” Kurt said, and he, Quinn and Mercedes all shared a look. Kurt sighed and shook his head. “Boys.”
Quinn raised an eyebrow. “I *know*.”
Mercedes sniffed. “Seriously.”
***
He got to work early because he really wanted to talk to Kurt before their shift started, but Kurt was late for once, and Finn was already up to his elbows in grease by the time he came in.
“Sorry I’m late. Dad was all over the place this morning--lost his hat and his keys and his favorite coffee cup.”
Finn looked over Kurt’s shoulder and saw Burt heading towards the locker room, scowling. “Everything okay? I guess he found his hat.”
Kurt nodded. “It was in the refrigerator, upside-down with the keys in it. The cup is still AWOL.” He shrugged. “He’s like this, sometimes. He has to deal with things on his own, and then he talks about it when he’s ready.”
Finn nodded. “I get that.”
Kurt smirked. “Of course you do.”
Finn faked a grab towards Kurt’s perfect hair with his disgusting, blackened hands, and Kurt squeaked satisfyingly and ducked away.
Later that day, he was going over the parts order list with Kurt when Burt walked up to them. “I need to talk to you. Both of you.”
The bottom dropped out of Finn’s stomach, and all of a sudden he found himself wondering how you were supposed to say ‘I’m sorry I molested your son’ to the guy who was a) your boss and b) your Mom’s boyfriend. He wondered if all those Sweet Valley High books his Mom kept in a box in the basement had ever dealt with this situation--he might have actually read them instead of just pawing through them for sexy covers when he was hard up.
“We haven’t engaged in theft, arson, destruction of public property, or impregnated anyone, if that helps,” Kurt said lightly. “Not that we haven’t wanted to, of course--it’s mostly been a scheduling issue.”
“My son, the comedian. Come on.” Burt led them to his tiny, cramped office at the back of the shop. Finn couldn’t stop swallowing, and he felt simultaneously lightheaded and so heavy his feet were dragging.
“You think this is about us?” He whispered as quietly as he could.
Kurt shook his head. “But it could be--” he whispered back, but there was no time for more, because they were there. Burt closed the door behind them, and Finn tried to breathe normally.
“So, Finn,” Burt said. “I was talking with your mom, and it’s been a long, long time since she’s had a real vacation.”
Finn nodded. That didn’t sound too bad so far.
“We’d like… that is, I want to take her to Las Vegas for a couple days, if we can work it out.”
Finn grinned. “Awesome.”
Kurt leaned towards Burt, his hands tight on the back of a chair. “Are you eloping?”
Finn stopped grinning. “*What*?”
Burt looked kind of shocked. “Uh. No. Just… it’s just a vacation.”
Kurt let go of the chair. “Okay. Because if you got married and didn’t let me do any wedding planning, there would be hell to pay. Just so you know.”
Burt smiled a little. “Uh, that’s sweet, I guess. But no--just a vacation. She’s never been to Vegas, and she wants to go. She wants to see that weird naked circus thing.”
Kurt rolled his eyes, and Finn spoke up. “Okay. But why did you need to talk to us about it?”
Burt shrugged. “She’s not too sure about leaving you on your own, Finn--”
“I’m almost seventeen!” Finn said, outraged.
Burt nodded. “I know that. And I also know you’ve grown up a lot this summer. But to her, you’re always going to be her little boy, you know? That’s just how it is.” He sighed. “And I’m not exactly thrilled with the idea of leaving Kurt alone, either--”
“Hey!”
“Don’t get bent out of shape, son--you’re a smart kid, and you know how to handle yourself, but you’re as stubborn as an ox, and I worry about people who… I just worry. You know why.”
Finn was pretty sure he knew why, too.
“So I asked you guys in here because I want you both to promise me that you’ll look out for each other while we’re gone. That you won’t do anything stupid.”
Finn looked at Kurt, who was looking at him, and all of a sudden he became aware of all the stupid things they could do with their parents out of town, and he looked away quick before he started blushing. “I… yeah.”
“I’m serious,” Burt continued. “That means no wild parties, no going off on some crazy adventure you cooked up on the spur of the moment, and Finn--it means you eat your vegetables, because Carole is convinced that the moment she crosses the county line you’re going to try to kill yourself with Slim-Jims and Twinkies.”
Finn was going to object, but then he realized that that was pretty much exactly what he would have done if Burt hadn’t said anything, so he didn’t. “Okay.”
“Good. Kurt?”
“I promise to force-feed Finn carrots until his nose twitches.”
“Kurt--”
“Yes, yes, yes, okay. I promise to stay out of trouble. And keep Finn out of trouble. You don’t have to worry about us.”
Burt looked back and forth between the two of them. “Maybe I don’t have to, but I will anyway--it’s my job, at least for a few more years.”
Kurt smiled. “We’ll be fine. Really.”
“Yeah,” Finn echoed. “We’ll be fine.” He was pretty sure he had a foolproof plan for keeping both of them in a state that could, in theory, be described as ‘fine’, but he didn’t think Burt would be reassured by ‘nonstop humping with breaks for food including vegetables’ as a strategy, so he didn’t go into detail.
***
The rest of the week was a frantic blur. Burt wanted to get all the major fixes and diagnostics they had waiting finished before he left on Thursday morning, and when Finn wasn’t helping with that he was trying to convince his Mom that he wasn’t about to burn the house down or walk into a dark alley and get mugged by aliens or drown himself in a vat of Strawberry Quik while she was gone.
“You know,” Finn told Burt on Tuesday, “there’s a lot of this that Kurt and I can handle while you’re gone. It’s not like we’re going to--” He didn’t get to finish because just then he kind of forgot that he was chasing down a short in a live electrical system, and touched his screwdriver to a bare wire. He was okay, but his hair looked insane until he wet it down, and Kurt nearly laughed himself into a hemorrhage once he was sure Finn wasn’t actually hurt, and then Burt told the pair of them that they were under no circumstances allowed near the shop while he was gone.
“Consider yourselves on vacation,” he said dryly. “A very safe, very quiet vacation. Catch up on sleep. Teenagers never sleep enough, and then they do dumb stuff because they’re tired.”
“I’m sorry,” Finn said for about the fifth time.
“Just be more careful, okay?” Burt said. “If anything happened to you, your mother would--well, you probably know already.”
“Boy, yeah,” Finn said, and got back to work.
***
It seemed like a nonstop rush of nothing but work and chores and helping his Mom pack while trying to keep her from freaking out, but eventually Finn found himself standing on his front step early Thursday morning, waving goodbye. He watched Burt’s car until it was out of sight and then went back into the house and closed the door, listening to the silence, which seemed weirdly, hugely loud.
His heart was beating fast. He felt… like a grownup. And it took a few minutes for him to realize that it wasn’t just because he was on his own.
He went to his room, emptied out his small gym bag, then packed in a dreamy, absentminded haze.
He made sure he locked the house up tight when he left. His Mom would have been proud. More or less.
***
Kurt let him in, then led him to Burt’s room, which Finn had never been in before. There were clothes strewn over every horizontal surface except the floor. “Dad had a fashion freak-out at T-minus five minutes of packing to go,” Kurt explained as he folded, hung, or hampered everything in sight. “It was so cute, watching him agonize between two identically hideous plaid shirts from Target. Ridiculous, but cute.”
“I’ve been waiting to… I wanted to talk to you.” Finn’s mouth was dry.
Kurt hesitated with a pair of jeans slung over his arm, looking at him. “Sure, okay. I’ll finish this later.”
Once they were in Kurt’s room, Finn made sure he didn’t sit too close--at this point it was automatic for him to want to grab Kurt the moment they had precious time alone, but right now he needed to stay focused on saying what he needed to say. He took a deep breath, one that felt like he was trying to heave a pile of bricks off his chest. “I don’t want there to be lines.”
Kurt frowned slightly. “I… huh?”
“You probably think I don’t remember--you probably thought I was too drunk and wouldn’t remember, but I remember. And I don’t want it. Lines. Your lines. They don’t work for me.”
“Finn--”
Finn’s lips tingled and felt weirdly numb at the same time, but he kept on. “I want… you’re holding back, Kurt, I know you are. You’re still holding back. And I want you to stop. I want… I want it all. Everything. All of it. All of you.”
Kurt’s face looked almost like it was carved from wax, he was so still. “I… Finn--”
“You can’t control whether or not I get hurt,” Finn continued, and now that he’d gotten started, it was like he couldn’t stop. “And I’m not gonna hurt you--not in the way you’re afraid of. I don’t want to hurt you at all, but that’s not something you can promise someone. I know that now.” He took another deep breath, and this one came easier. “So maybe one of us, maybe both of us will end up hurt. I don’t want that to happen, but I also don’t want the fact that it *might* happen to keep us from doing this. Really doing this. All the way. With no more stupid lines to pretend that that makes it safe.”
Kurt’s eyes were bright. Too bright. “I don’t know… Finn, I don’t know if I can--”
“You can. I know you can. I know you want to, and I want you to, and when you hold back it’s like you’re giving up on something we both want. It’s like you won’t trust me, or you won’t trust yourself with me. And that… it hurts. And it sucks. And I want you to stop.”
“What if I don’t?” Kurt asked, but it was a whisper so soft he could barely hear it.
Finn had about a dozen answers for that, but he didn’t get to use any of them because even thinking about saying them overwhelmed him and then he was crying, quietly and hopelessly with his face buried in his hands, his spine curved protectively around the awful, terrible ache in his chest.
Kurt came to him then, and put his hand right where it hurt worst, and he was so close it was unbearable, impossible not to grab him. “Finn, I’m sorry,” Kurt said in his ear, his voice shaking so badly it was hard to make out the words. “I’m sorry--I’m in love with you, I have been for a long time. I tried not to be, but I couldn’t help it. The lines were for me, so I wouldn’t… so it wouldn’t get worse. But they didn’t really work. I love you. I’m sorry.”
“Not sorry,” Finn managed. “I’m not sorry. Please don’t be sorry. Please don’t--don’t let go of me. Don’t let go.”
“I won’t.” Kurt was basically on his lap, and Finn pressed his messy, wet face against Kurt’s shirtfront so that all he could hear was the rush and thunder of his heartbeat and the light, quick rhythm of his breath. Then he just hung on, and waited for the supernova inside his chest to stop melting him from the inside out.
***
“Hey,” Kurt said quietly, some unknown and endless time later. “Are you asleep?”
“I… God.” Ridiculous as it sounded, he almost had been. “Sorry. I just… I haven’t been sleeping much.”
Kurt’s fingers combed gently, tentatively through his hair. “Why don’t you… um. Maybe we should take a nap.”
“It’s like, ten in the morning,” Finn groused halfheartedly, but really--a nap sounded wonderful, because he was so wrung out and exhausted he felt like he’d been running wind sprints nonstop for a week.
Kurt’s bed was soft and cool and the sheets were so smooth against his skin that Finn was shivering with sleepy ecstasy even before Kurt stripped to his underwear and climbed in with him. Finn octopused out with all his limbs and just wrapped Kurt up and pulled him close, their faces bare inches apart on a shared pillow.
“This is amazing,” Finn said, sleepily stroking what skin he could reach.
“What?”
“We can just… go to sleep.” He shivered when Kurt’s hands ghosted over his shoulders, and his eyelids fluttered as they became suddenly, overwhelmingly heavy. “I can go to sleep, and you’re right here, and we don’t have to worry about getting caught, and I can go to sleep holding you. It’s awesome.”
Kurt smiled. “Awesome. Yes, I think this qualifies.”
“I love you too, you know.” He totally hadn’t known he was going to say that. But it wasn’t a lie. And he didn’t regret it.
“I’m… I’m glad.” It was the softest whisper.
“Me, too,” Finn whispered back, and then gave in and closed his eyes.
***
When he opened his eyes again, the shaft of sunlight coming through the window had moved at least halfway across the room. It was warm and bright and quiet, and the pressure that had been strapped tight around his chest for so long was gone, like he had somehow… expanded or something, while he was asleep. Finn took a deep breath and turned his head. On the other side of the pillow Kurt was looking at him through heavy-lidded eyes.
“Hi,” Kurt said softly.
“Hi,” Finn answered. He felt ridiculously, stupidly shy. He decided not to let that stop him.
For once he didn’t have to try to force himself to take it slow--slow was just how it was; slow kisses and touches and a slow endless time of sinking deeper. It was like he was seducing Kurt, using his mouth and his hands to tease and invite, and that was new but insanely good, feeling Kurt gradually open to him, arms around his neck and his face so flushed and gorgeous and wanting.
He let go of Kurt’s hot, smooth cock and slid his hand lower, softly over his balls and then further down. His whole body felt like it was humming. “Can I?”
Kurt made a faint, low noise, and Finn felt his own heart jump when Kurt spread his legs. “Yeah. I want… I want you to.”
“Okay,” Finn breathed. “Good.” He leaned in for another kiss but Kurt unwound his arms and sat halfway up, opening his bedside table drawer and digging around.
“Here,” he said, handing Finn a small bottle of clear, thick liquid. Finn’s face went hot, and suddenly his stomach felt like he was in free-fall. “You know what to do with that?”
“Sure,” Finn said, as calmly as he could under the circumstances.
Kurt dug in the drawer some more, then looked at Finn with his cheeks flaming pink. “Condom?”
“I… uh.” That was barely a noise. Finn cleared his throat. “I used one when I, uh. With Santana.”
Kurt’s eyelashes fluttered. “Okay. Are you going to use one with me?”
“I… no. Not unless you want one. Unless you--”
“I… don’t know,” Kurt said, touching the curve of Finn’s neck and making him shiver. He looked at Finn for what seemed like a long time, then slowly eased back into the pillows. “Come here.”
Finn kind of lost track of himself then, skimming fast over the surface of things and sinking down every so often into the slow, heartbeat tempo of what was happening; into this wet, rhythmic kiss or that squeeze and slide of muscle, into the unreal heat and throb of having his fingers inside Kurt, so tight and hot Finn struggled to breathe. Kurt was shaking, hard.
“Hurts?”
“Oh my God, no.” Kurt managed, gasping. Finn moaned a little and covered Kurt’s mouth with his own, and kept working him slowly open.
There came a moment when everything stopped, when he’d done everything he could do except the only thing that was left, when Kurt was trembling and damp with sweat and had both arms and legs tight around him, and Finn was on fire and right there and touching but not pushing, not yet. He looked into Kurt’s eyes and then he couldn’t look anywhere else, because all of a sudden even though Kurt looked sexy and messy and gorgeous he also looked a whole lot like Finn’s best friend, the guy he’d talked with and hung out with and laughed with way before he knew there was anything more.
He kissed Kurt softly, because he had to. “Are you scared?”
Kurt swallowed visibly. “A little. You?”
Finn had to think about how to put it. “I’m… yeah. But I want… This is what I want.”
Kurt nodded. “Me, too.”
So Finn kissed him again, almost apologetically, and then pushed. Kurt heaved under him, and they both made loud, shocked-sounding noises that were eerily harmonic. Finn had to close his eyes then, had to fight his body which all at once wanted in-in-in as much and as fast as possible, because slow had gone right out the window and now he needed to fuck Kurt so badly he thought it might kill him. He gasped and started to shake, muscles tense with the strain of not just shoving his way into where Kurt was so hot and smooth and tight and felt so, so good.
He was holding back, holding back, working his way in and focused just on easy-gentle-don’t-get-pushy, so it took him a while to notice that Kurt had gone quiet and almost still, rapid patter of fast faint panting his only sound. Finn panicked a little.
“You… Kurt, are you okay? Should I--”
“Finn.” Kurt’s voice sounded almost strangled.
“Oh, fuck. I’m sorry. I’m--”
He started pulling back, but Kurt’s hands squeezed his shoulders hard enough to hurt. “Finn. Don’t move.” Finn froze.
Kurt arched his head back into the pillows, worked his hips hard and fast, and then came all over him, moaning and shivering and throbbing hard around his cock. Finn’s mouth dropped open. “Oh my God.”
Kurt made some noise that didn’t qualify as language, but his hands slid from Finn’s shoulders to his face, and drew him down into a wet, sexy-sloppy kiss that managed to say all that was necessary. Finn felt all the tension flow out of Kurt’s muscles, and then gasped when he realized he was all the way inside--Kurt’s body had gone limp and kind of boneless, but his ass was fiercely tight, and hot, and--oh fuck.
“Kurt, I can’t--I need to--”
Kurt only nodded against his forehead, gasping, petting him with shaking hands. Somehow Finn got his own hands hooked under Kurt’s thighs and pushed them wide, and then he just couldn’t stop, and he hoped it didn’t hurt but he had no words or breath to ask with. He closed his eyes and went with it, lost to everything except trying to get enough of what he already knew he’d never have enough of. Kurt was so open to him, open mouth and open body and heat and friction and he was so deep in, all his nerves on fire and driving him on.
He had let go of Kurt’s legs at some point and now their hands were tangled together, fingers intertwined and squeezing. Finn slid Kurt’s hands up above his head and held him there, moving on instinct which he figured was pretty much right on when Kurt moaned and bucked under him, arching up into him like he couldn’t help it.
So he used his weight and clamped down on Kurt’s hands and fucked him harder, and Kurt said ‘yes’ a bunch of times, breathlessly, his head tossing on the pillow and Finn realized Kurt was probably going to come again right about the time he realized he was going to come himself, so then it was all about hanging on, wringing out every last second, holding out until Kurt twisted so hard he almost tossed Finn off the bed and Finn kissed him while the whole world came apart, while everything in him just spilled over, coming with Kurt throbbing under and around him, rocking endlessly until there was nothing left.
He kept kissing Kurt until everything bright and hot and intense had softened, until the kiss became something tender and grateful and kind of almost weirdly worshipful.
“Finn,” Kurt breathed when they finally broke apart. “God--”
“Yeah,” Finn said, brushing Kurt’s hair back from his wet, red face. “Oh yeah.”
Finn pulled out slowly, but Kurt still winced. “Hurts?”
Kurt sighed, smiling ruefully. “A little. But. So worth it.”
“Sorry.” He was.
Kurt rolled his eyes. “You’ll just have to make it up to me.”
“How?”
“Do it all over again, as soon as possible.”
“Oh. Well, yeah. I can do that.”
“I’m counting on it.” Kurt wriggled a little, and made a face. “Okay, I… oh boy. Shower. Like, right now.”
“Yeah.”
***
After that, Finn didn’t really feel shy anymore. After he’d fucked Kurt in the shower, bent over the kitchen counter, on the living room floor, and in his hanging hammocky-chair thingie (an adventure that--in Finn’s opinion anyway--was so worth it despite his unfortunate head injury), he thought it was pretty likely he’d never feel shy again.
He apparently still had the ability to feel guilty, though. “Hey,” he said when he realized they hadn’t so much as stepped outside the house in… jeez, quite a while. “You know, we’re on vacation. Did you want to, uh, do something?”
“We are doing something,” Kurt said matter-of-factly, then got him by the shoulders and guided him backwards and down onto the bed, pressing him deep into the soft mattress. “We’re doing this.”
“Fuck yeah.”
It was weird and almost dreamlike--and also awesome--that at any moment there could be a look, a touch, or a word, anything at all that made something go ‘zing’ between them and then they’d be making out, rolling around, screwing themselves stupid. He kept waiting to get used to it, like after they’d done it enough times there would finally be some sense of been-there-done-that. But there wasn’t. Instead there was a strange and almost scary feeling of having only scratched the surface, like each time went just a little deeper into something he totally didn’t have words for--but he didn’t need words to know that he liked it. That he loved it. That he very possibly was becoming addicted to it.
“This is crazy,” he wheezed, trying to get enough air in him to not pass out.
“What’s crazy?” Kurt didn’t sound all that far from passing out himself. They had been in the middle of breakfast when Kurt took a bite out of a very juicy apple slice that made Finn tackle him to the floor to lick the taste off his pretty, pink lips and out of his apple-sweet, wicked mouth, and one thing led to another and… here they were.
Finn mustered up enough energy to stroke the curve of Kurt’s ass. “We just… I just finished fucking you, and I want to do it again. Seriously--I’m afraid my dick’s going to fall off.”
“Mmm.” Kurt wiggled a little under his hand. “Can’t have that. Use more lube.”
“Okay.” He squeezed. “God, I love your ass so much.”
Kurt snorted. “It’s a big fan of you too, you know.”
Finn grinned. “Your ass likes me?”
“Oh, yes. Especially certain parts of you.” He wiggled again. “I’m afraid it’s true love.”
“Good.” Stroke. Pet. Squeeze. His dick twitched hard. “Can we fuck again now?”
Kurt gave him a look. “You’re insatiable.”
“Uh. That’s good, right?”
“Come here and I’ll show you.”
***
Out of necessity, they took a lot of showers. Also out of necessity they took a lot of naps and decimated the Hummel household’s food supply, because while Finn was really happy with the having-nonstop-sex thing he hadn’t even considered the inevitable side effects of being constantly tired and ferociously hungry.
“You know, Finn,” Kurt said, eyeing him as he loaded his plate with… well, everything. “There’s that crazy cowboy-themed all-you-can-eat restaurant near the mall, if you want to go out--”
“They have killer ribs,” Finn enthused. “But they’d make me wear pants.”
Kurt smiled. “I imagine they would.”
“And they might freak out if I started licking barbecue sauce off you.”
“Uh. Yes.”
“So here’s better.” Finn glanced towards the refrigerator. “Got any barbecue sauce?”
“*No.* Barbarian.”
But the rhythm of sex-food-sleep-then-do-it-all-over-again definitely had a lot going for it: at one point Finn experimented by trying hard to feel upset or unhappy about… something, anything--but he just couldn’t do it.
***
These are the things Finn really, really loves:
He loves kissing Kurt, whether they’re ramping up or coming down afterwards or right in the middle of it or not even messing around at all. Kissing Kurt makes it all real, whenever he starts to wonder.
He loves it when Kurt loses control. He loves it when Kurt gives in, surrenders. He also loves it when Kurt gets bossy. He has no problem loving all those things at once.
He loves whispering with Kurt in the dark, saying as much as they can before they fall asleep, saying all the things they don’t say except for then.
He loves sleepy, messy, fumbling sex--especially when Kurt’s sleepier than he is. Because Kurt seems so vulnerable then, and Finn has to be gentle with him. He takes Kurt softly and so, so slowly, drawing out every second, and everything feels so good he almost can’t stand it. When Kurt comes it makes something warm deep in his chest go from brimming-full to overflowing, and Finn has to kiss him, needs to kiss him, never wants to stop kissing him.
He loves that most of all.
***
They were lying in bed with Kurt on top, very much in the phase of lazy making out before things got serious, when Kurt winced and Finn froze.
“What is it?” He had the tips of two lubed fingers barely inside Kurt’s silky-slick ass, and when he pulled them out Kurt winced again.
“I, uh. I’m sorry, Finn, I think… my ass needs a break.”
“Oh, God--sorry, I’m sorry--”
“Don’t guilt out, Finn--it’s not like you forced yourself on me, for God’s sake. It’s just… I’m a little sore.”
“Jeez, of course you are--I’ve fucked you so much my dick is half-raw--”
“Such a romantic--”
“But I just never wanted to stop and I didn’t even think about how you must be--”
Kurt covered his mouth with one hand, shaking his head. “Fine, I’ll be fine, seriously. Just give me a little time.” He smiled and pulled his hand away, raising one eyebrow. “There’s lots of other things we can do.”
“Yeah.” Finn pulled Kurt down for a long, soft kiss, an I’m-sorry-I-hurt-your-ass kiss, and all of a sudden the shyness he thought he was over and done with came back in a major, major way. “Kurt.”
“Mmm?”
“You could fuck me.” He couldn’t believe he actually said that out loud.
Kurt’s eyes got big. “I… oh. We don’t… we don’t need to do that.”
“Not saying we need to,” Finn mumbled with his face on fire. “Saying we could. We can.” He made himself take a breath. “We can do that.”
Kurt looked like he was thinking it over. “You might not like it.”
Finn bit his lip. “You like it.”
Kurt gave him a look. “I don’t like it--I love it. Some people do. I do.”
Finn frowned. “Maybe I do, too.”
Kurt kissed him softly. “You’re going to be a stubborn jerk about this, aren’t you?”
“That’s like the pot calling the kettle a stubborn jerk, you know.”
“Yes,” Kurt answered calmly, smiling. “It’s exactly like that.” He looked at Finn closely, almost studying him. Finn tried to look determined and stubborn and fuckable all at the same time, but he obviously didn’t do it right because Kurt cracked up.
“Fine,” Finn said through his teeth, and was about to shove Kurt off him when Kurt grabbed him by the hair and pinned him.
“Trial run,” Kurt said, still grinning.
“Huh?”
“We’ll do a trial run.”
“Uh… okay.” Finn’s heart thudded hard in his chest. “What do I do for that?”
Kurt kissed him again. “Lay there. And don’t make that face again--my heart can’t take it.”
It turned out that a trial run meant Kurt blowing him and gradually sliding lubed fingers into his ass, which at first was weird and distracting and not even a little bit sexy, and Finn probably would have stopped everything right there if he hadn’t decided to be a total stubborn jerk about it. So he hung in there grimly, and then he hung in there uncertainly, and then he hung in there curiously, and then something happened and…
“Oh, God. Kurt.”
“Mmm?”
“Fuck.”
“Mmm.”
“Fuck!”
“Mrr.”
“Don’t stop.”
“Nnn.”
“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna--I need to…” He let his bent knees fall wide, working himself ruthlessly between Kurt’s mouth and fingers. He opened his mouth to groan, but what came out instead was, “Kurt--fuck me. Now.”
“Nnn?” Kurt’s fingers curled and twitched inside him. Finn’s hips jerked helplessly.
“I want… I want to come with you in me, so do it.” Amazing, how being desperate took care of the whole shyness problem. “Come on come on come on--”
Everything got a little hazy then, but somehow he’d gotten himself turned over and up on his knees with his flaming-hot face buried in a pillow, wanting it and dreading it and trying not to shake too much. His ass felt empty, a strange and vacant ache, but then Kurt was right there, silky and hot and such soft skin and oh God in him, slowly inside, a tight stretch that didn’t really hurt and didn’t really burn but *scorched*, somehow, intense enough that he lost control of everything and just spread out and took it.
“Oh, God,” Kurt breathed behind him, and Finn agreed with that but he couldn’t possibly say so. His body was rocking without him trying to move, working further back and taking Kurt deeper in, bright sparks of pleasure striking off his nerves and going crazy all through him. It was so good and he needed it so much and he was so full, stretched so full it felt like he was somehow vibrating, but his throat was locked tight shut until Kurt’s hands ran from his shoulders down his back to his sides and around, one warm against his chest, one shaky-tight around his cock--and then he sucked in air like he was never going to stop.
“Don’t let me come yet,” he said, and wondered what kind of stupid-ass thing he’d just said because, fuck, he really really needed to come like, right now.
Kurt made some noise like ‘ngrh’ and squeezed the base of his cock hard, rocking into him gently, finding all these amazing places inside that made Finn feel like he was being turned inside-out only in a good way, melting and throbbing and really not able to tell where his ass ended and his dick began, because everything felt incredible everywhere.
Kurt fucked him and squeezed him and stroked him until Finn felt he was hanging on the edge of something so huge it was vaguely terrifying. He held on and held on until Kurt finally went all-out, moaning in his ear and moving faster, harder, and--oh. First Finn realized that Kurt was about to come inside him, come from fucking him, and then his entire body kind of took a leap up to a whole new level of amazing, and then Kurt turned Finn’s head to the side and leaned close and took his mouth--and that was it, Finn was coming and groaning and kissing and feeling Kurt come inside him all at once, pierced by pleasure that just went on and on until he thought it might never end.
Finn came back to himself in slow degrees, and probably would have drifted off seamlessly into a much-needed nap if Kurt hadn’t kept kissing him, over and over like he couldn’t stop, his mouth sweet-salty and tender and really everything that Finn needed in the whole world until… yeesh. “Uh…”
Kurt’s brows drew together curiously, then smoothed out. “Oh. That. Yes. Shower?”
“Uh huh,” Finn said, grimacing.
***
They kissed for a long time in the shower, which was good because everything was kind of sinking in, and Finn wasn’t sure he could talk. But Kurt stayed close to him, kissing him like kissing him was everything, touching him like touching him was amazing, and somewhere in the quiet and closeness Finn went from oh-hell-I-can’t-believe-we-just-did-that to oh-hey-when-can-we-do-that-again-how-about-now?
Shortly after that, Finn had one more item to add to his list of things he really, really loved.
***
Early Monday morning:
“Kurt?”
“Mmm.”
“Wake up.”
“Nnn. Time izzit?”
Finn looked. “It’s early. But it’s our last day--they come home tonight. Don’t you think we should take advantage of our last day?”
“Uh-huh.” A yawn. “Once we’re awake.”
“I’m awake.” No answer. Finn leaned in, and kissed the curve of Kurt’s ear. “Hey. How’s your… uh. Is your ass okay?”
One bright moment of blue glare before it was shuttered behind soot-black lashes. “No, not *okay*. My ass is *fantastic*.” Another yawn.
“Oh, I know.” He coaxed Kurt’s lax, sleepy body gently over and onto his back, and stroked his tangled hair away from his face. “Believe me, I know.”
***
Monday afternoon:
Kurt looked around the room like he was surveying a crime scene. “Jesus. Finn. We’ve got to clean this place up.”
“Yeah.” He looked around too, then looked back at Kurt and reached out for him. “But let’s finish messing it up first.”
***
Late Monday afternoon:
They were sprawled on Kurt’s destroyed bed, both of them breathless, sweaty, and entirely splattered with come. Finn licked his swollen lips, glanced over at Kurt’s swollen lips and unfocused eyes, and wiggled his toes, which were about the only part of him that had any energy left.
“Okay. Now we clean the house.”
Kurt hit him with a pillow.
***
Monday evening:
The first thing Finn did when he got home was eat--he was ravenous, and his Mom had left him a ton of food which he hadn’t even touched. So he happily ploughed his way through everything he could find that didn’t need anything more than a few minutes in the microwave before he shoved it in his mouth.
He’d had a vague plan to eat, shower and then go straight to bed, but as soon as he turned the water on for his shower, he stopped. He sat down on the edge of the tub, then pulled out the collar of his shirt, ducked his head down, and sniffed. He still smelled like Kurt’s soap--which was some weird exotic fragrance combination like zinnias and oregano or something, so it wasn’t like anything else smelled like that.
He turned the water off.
“Hey, Finn.” Kurt sounded sleepy. Finn pressed the phone to his ear, laid back in his bed and closed his eyes.
“Hey.” He didn’t really have anything to say, it was just… fuck. He was so screwed.
“I miss you.” When Kurt said it, somehow it didn’t sound lame at all.
“Yeah.” He really shouldn’t talk. He should stop talking. “Me too.”
Then there was quiet, and Finn listened to Kurt’s soft breathing while he spent a few minutes being grateful that Kurt understood just what he needed, even when he didn’t admit to needing anything. He was in the middle of wondering whether he could tell Kurt how cool that was without sounding like a total jackass when he actually slipped over the line and into sleep, phone wedged under his ear, breathing in unconscious sync with the rhythm on the other end of the line.
***
“I can’t believe summer is over,” Kurt said, slinging his bookbag over his shoulder and beeping his car locked. He stared squarely at the stone face of McKinley High, like it was some kind of monster that turned out not to be dead after all.
“Yeah,” Finn answered as they started across the parking lot. “It went fast.”
Kurt nodded. “Really fast. Must be that ‘time flies when’ principle at work.” Kurt gave him a sly, private smile. “It was a great summer, though.”
They reached the stairs, and Finn swallowed, his perfectly dry throat clicking loud in his head. He ignored the students swarming around them, ignored various teachers already looking annoyed and harassed as they hurried into the building, ignored the nearby hoots of laughter as some poor kid got tossed into the dumpster, and reached out to take Kurt’s hand.
“Best summer ever,” he said calmly, clearly. His stomach was in knots.
Kurt looked at him, eyes wide, then down at their hands, then back up at him. Finn stepped closer. “You said… you said it had to be my choice. You said you wanted me to be sure.” He squeezed Kurt’s hand. “I’m choosing. And I’m sure.”
“Oh,” Kurt said, so softly that Finn almost couldn’t hear it. “Okay.” Kurt looked at him, about a thousand things going over his face all at once, but in the end he just smiled, ran his thumb gently over Finn’s knuckles, and slowly, finally squeezed back.
Then they walked through the doors and into McKinley High together, hand in hand.
***End***