FIC: Getting To Know You (Luke/Reid, 1/1)
Title: Getting To Know You
Author: cindergal
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairing: Luke/Reid
Prompt: skeletons in the closet (wild card)
Summary: Luke and Reid have more in common than they know.
Word Count: 2022
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: God knows they don't belong to me. I would've been kinder.
A/N: Written for hc_bingo. Remember how Reid admitted to Chris that he cheated to win that fellowship? I know that didn't make sense to many of us. This fic includes my attempt at an explanation.
It's the first night they've ever spent together, but Reid finds himself instinctively reaching for Luke before his eyes even flutter open. His hand finds only a cool sheet, the indentation in the pillow next to him the only evidence that Luke was ever there. He sits up quickly, a little dizzy for a moment, wondering if maybe he dreamed the entire, amazing night. But no, Luke's shirt is still tossed in a corner of the room, his shoes still next to the bedroom door where he'd hurriedly kicked them off, so he must still be in the apartment somewhere. Reid pulls on a pair of sleep pants and goes looking.
He doesn't have to go far. He finds Luke sitting in a chair near a window of the still dark apartment, blinds raised, staring out into the night. He's wearing only his jeans, chest and feet bare, and Reid just has to stand there and look at him for a moment, wondering how he ever got so lucky. Wondering if his luck has run out already. Maybe Luke is having second thoughts. Maybe he’s thinking he’ll go to LA with Noah after all. When Luke finally notices him, his nervous smile is not very reassuring.
"Hey."
"Hey," Reid says, sitting down on the sofa across the room from Luke. "What's up?"
“Couldn't sleep."
"You should have woken me up."
Luke stands and walks across the room to sit down next to Reid on the sofa. "You had a long day.“ He gives Reid a small smile. “Driving all over the countryside, retrieving organs and saving lives. Being a superhero must be exhausting. I wanted to let you sleep."
Reid can't help himself. He reaches out, hand sliding around the back of Luke's neck, and is gratified when Luke can't seem to help but lean into his touch. "I was worried when I woke up and you weren't there."
Even though they have the place to themselves, they're talking in hushed tones, like people seem to do in the middle of the night.
"I didn't mean to worry you," Luke says. "I just..." He looks away.
"Just what?"
Luke sighs, and pulls away from Reid. "I just feel like… like I haven't been completely honest with you. And I should have been before we took this next step."
Reid's heart hammers in his chest, but he thinks he does a pretty good job of remaining calm. "Are you regretting tonight, then?"
Luke's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline, and his expression would be comical if Reid wasn't so terrified. "No! God, no. Reid..." He scoots closer and takes Reid's hand. "No, I don't regret anything. I'm just afraid that you will."
"Why would I? I‘ve wanted this - I've wanted you - for a long time. A very long time."
"I know," Luke says softly. "But..."
"But what?"
"I just worry that..." he runs a shaky hand through his hair. "Look, I really want this to work out, you and me. I want it to so badly. And I'm worried that it's only a matter of time before you realize what a major screw-up I am."
Reid can’t believe what he’s hearing. "You are not a screw-up. An idiot, maybe.”
Luke snorts out a laugh. “Gee, thanks.”
“If you think that of yourself, or if you think that I would, then yes, you are an idiot, Mr. Snyder.”
“There's so much about me you don't know," Luke says softly.
"I know I’m no expert, but isn't that what this whole relationship thing is all about? Getting to know each other?"
“Of course. But some of the things in my past…”
Reid's eyes immediately goes to the scar that curves around Luke's side. He already knows about the kidney transplant, and the drinking that had led up to it, and he thought he'd made it perfectly clear that he gets it. Luke was young and going through an incredibly tough time and he made some very bad decisions. Reid will kick Luke's ass if he ever risks his health like that again, but he gets it.
"There’s more than that," Luke says, and Reid realizes that he's been caught staring.
He raises his gaze to meet Luke’s, and finds a terrifying vulnerability there. Reid presses his hand against Luke’s side, over the scar, and feels the goose bumps break out on Luke’s skin.
“And you seriously think that these deep, dark secrets of yours might change the way I feel about you?”
Luke shrugs. “Maybe? They’re things that really came between Noah and me,” he says quietly. “They changed what he thought of me.”
“Do I really have to point out how NOT Noah Mayer I am?”
Luke laughs weakly. “No. No you don’t.”
“Okay, you’d better tell me, then. Did you kill someone? Grand theft auto, maybe?”
Luke shakes his head and takes a deep breath before looking Reid squarely in the eye. “You know I never graduated from college. You assumed I quit, and I never corrected you. But I didn’t quit school. I was expelled. I was running for student body president and I rigged the election, and I got caught.”
Reid blinks. Several times. “Wow.”
Luke nods. “Yeah. Still time to cut and run,” he says.
Reid waves him off. “Details,” he says, reaching out his hands and wiggling his fingers. “Gimme details.”
Luke then explains how the whole, sorry situation came to be, including the fact that he'd been running against this idiotic Kevin person and his homophobic campaign manager, and the fact that it was Noah of all people who ratted him out. Jesus, could anything happen to Luke that wasn't steeped in melodrama?
“Look at the bright side,” Reid says, when Luke is done talking. “Your taste in men has improved dramatically since then.”
Luke shakes his head and tries to hide a smile. “You’re impossible.”
“Still time to cut and run,” Reid offers.
Luke shakes his head, “Not me,” he says. His head is bowed and he isn’t meeting Reid’s eyes, and Reid knows he has to say something. Something to take that scared, ashamed expression away, but before he can formulate a response, Luke is speaking again.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. You’re always so honest about…everything.”
“Some would say, too much so.”
“Yeah, I know, but…I can imagine what you must be thinking. Not only am I a drunk and blackmailer, I’m a liar and a cheat.”
“You forgot drama queen,” Reid adds.
“You think this is funny?”
He’s ticked off now, and that’s better than sad, at least. But obviously, Reid needs to work on this whole making people feel better thing.
“No, I don’t think it’s funny, but I don’t think it’s the end of the world, either. Look, you may not know this about me, because we have a lot to learn about each other, as we’ve already established. But those three words I said to you today? I’ve never said them before. At least, not since my parents died. To anyone. I love you. If anything, I think more of you now than I did before. Look at all the crap you’ve been through, and you’re still…you. Who I love. You got that part, right?”
Luke smiles shyly. “Yeah, I got that part.”
“Good,” Reid says. “Besides…” Reid takes a deep breath, and the words come out in a rush. “I…kind of did something similar when I was in school.”
“Wha…what?” Luke looks completely shocked, and a cold thread of fear runs through Reid.
This is going to be the hard part. If he wants this to work, he realizes - and he does, more than he's ever wanted anything else in his life - he's going to have to share his feelings. All of them. The not so confident ones. The ones where he’s feeling scared or hurt or lonely. The ones he's never wanted to admit to even having. But Luke has bared his soul for Reid, and even though he might end up regretting it, Reid owes him no less.
“When I was in med school, I cheated to win a fellowship position that should have gone to Chris Hughes.”
Luke is looking at him very intently, and Reid swallows hard. “Why?” Luke asks.
“Because I really needed it, and I wasn’t going to get it any other way. And I deserved it. Or, I thought so at the time. Just like you said you felt you deserved to win that election because you were the better person, I thought I deserved that fellowship because I was the better doctor. I’d worked so damn hard for it. I was on scholarship, but I had no other financial support, so I still had to work a part-time job to afford food and clothes and books. I’d left my uncle’s house at eighteen and never looked back, while Chris had money and parents who supported him and… everything that I didn’t have.”
Luke takes his hand and squeezes it. “What happened?”
“Well, applicants are reviewed based on both academic scores and letters of recommendation. Of course, I had Chris beat when it came to grades, and I had two good letters of recommendation. But I needed a third, and one very influential professor told me that he was giving Chris his support, because although I was academically gifted, I was lacking in people skills and didn’t relate well to patients or hospital staff. Can you believe that?”
Luke chuckles, and Reid reaches out to thumb the dimple in his chin.
“I didn’t have a charmer like you helping me out then.” Luke blushes and ducks his head, gazing up at Reid through his eyelashes.
“What did you do then?” Luke asks.
“I told him that I had evidence that he had fabricated the results of the most recent paper he’d published, and I would make it public if he didn’t support me instead of Chris. Which was totally bogus, but it worked.”
Luke’s mouth drops open. “You blackmailed him!”
Reid nods. “See, we’re more alike than you knew.”
Luke bites his lip. “I guess so.”
“So, have I disappointed you? I’m not the beacon of truth that you thought I was.”
Luke is looking at him like he can see into his soul, and then, without warning, he’s wrapping Reid up in his arms.
“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice whisper soft in Reid’s ear.
“For what?”
“I’m so sorry you didn’t have anyone for all that time. You must have been so lonely.”
Unexpectedly, tears sting Reid’s eyes. Damn it, Luke. He tucks his face into Luke’s neck and tries to breathe.
They stay that way for a few minutes, until Luke pulls away, resting his forehead against Reid’s. “I love you. You got that part, right?”
Reid nods. “I got that part.”
“We’re quite a pair aren’t we?”
“Well, there is one major difference between us,” Reid says. “I actually got away with it.”
Luke pulls back further, his arms still looped around Reid’s neck, an incredulous look on his face. “So, you’re saying you cheat better than me?”
“Don’t feel bad. I do most things better than most people. And, I was not handicapped with the intrepid Casey Hughes as my inept partner in crime, as you were.”
Luke is laughing now. “Reid! You and I were both very, very wrong!”
“I know, I know! I even confessed to Chris on his supposed deathbed. I just hope he was too high on pain killers to remember it, now that he’s going to live.”
Luke shakes his head, still grinning. “Well, I hope you learned your lesson, Dr. Oliver.”
Reid frowns. “Uh, sure. Of course. What was it, again?”
Luke lets out a dramatic sigh. “Cheating is wrong, no matter how much we think we deserve something. Unfortunately, we don’t always get what we deserve, Reid.”
Reid can’t help but smile at that. He takes Luke’s face in his hands, and kisses him soundly. “No, we don’t, always get what we deserve,” he agrees. “But sometimes, if we’re very, very lucky, we do.”
Author: cindergal
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairing: Luke/Reid
Prompt: skeletons in the closet (wild card)
Summary: Luke and Reid have more in common than they know.
Word Count: 2022
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: God knows they don't belong to me. I would've been kinder.
A/N: Written for hc_bingo. Remember how Reid admitted to Chris that he cheated to win that fellowship? I know that didn't make sense to many of us. This fic includes my attempt at an explanation.
It's the first night they've ever spent together, but Reid finds himself instinctively reaching for Luke before his eyes even flutter open. His hand finds only a cool sheet, the indentation in the pillow next to him the only evidence that Luke was ever there. He sits up quickly, a little dizzy for a moment, wondering if maybe he dreamed the entire, amazing night. But no, Luke's shirt is still tossed in a corner of the room, his shoes still next to the bedroom door where he'd hurriedly kicked them off, so he must still be in the apartment somewhere. Reid pulls on a pair of sleep pants and goes looking.
He doesn't have to go far. He finds Luke sitting in a chair near a window of the still dark apartment, blinds raised, staring out into the night. He's wearing only his jeans, chest and feet bare, and Reid just has to stand there and look at him for a moment, wondering how he ever got so lucky. Wondering if his luck has run out already. Maybe Luke is having second thoughts. Maybe he’s thinking he’ll go to LA with Noah after all. When Luke finally notices him, his nervous smile is not very reassuring.
"Hey."
"Hey," Reid says, sitting down on the sofa across the room from Luke. "What's up?"
“Couldn't sleep."
"You should have woken me up."
Luke stands and walks across the room to sit down next to Reid on the sofa. "You had a long day.“ He gives Reid a small smile. “Driving all over the countryside, retrieving organs and saving lives. Being a superhero must be exhausting. I wanted to let you sleep."
Reid can't help himself. He reaches out, hand sliding around the back of Luke's neck, and is gratified when Luke can't seem to help but lean into his touch. "I was worried when I woke up and you weren't there."
Even though they have the place to themselves, they're talking in hushed tones, like people seem to do in the middle of the night.
"I didn't mean to worry you," Luke says. "I just..." He looks away.
"Just what?"
Luke sighs, and pulls away from Reid. "I just feel like… like I haven't been completely honest with you. And I should have been before we took this next step."
Reid's heart hammers in his chest, but he thinks he does a pretty good job of remaining calm. "Are you regretting tonight, then?"
Luke's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline, and his expression would be comical if Reid wasn't so terrified. "No! God, no. Reid..." He scoots closer and takes Reid's hand. "No, I don't regret anything. I'm just afraid that you will."
"Why would I? I‘ve wanted this - I've wanted you - for a long time. A very long time."
"I know," Luke says softly. "But..."
"But what?"
"I just worry that..." he runs a shaky hand through his hair. "Look, I really want this to work out, you and me. I want it to so badly. And I'm worried that it's only a matter of time before you realize what a major screw-up I am."
Reid can’t believe what he’s hearing. "You are not a screw-up. An idiot, maybe.”
Luke snorts out a laugh. “Gee, thanks.”
“If you think that of yourself, or if you think that I would, then yes, you are an idiot, Mr. Snyder.”
“There's so much about me you don't know," Luke says softly.
"I know I’m no expert, but isn't that what this whole relationship thing is all about? Getting to know each other?"
“Of course. But some of the things in my past…”
Reid's eyes immediately goes to the scar that curves around Luke's side. He already knows about the kidney transplant, and the drinking that had led up to it, and he thought he'd made it perfectly clear that he gets it. Luke was young and going through an incredibly tough time and he made some very bad decisions. Reid will kick Luke's ass if he ever risks his health like that again, but he gets it.
"There’s more than that," Luke says, and Reid realizes that he's been caught staring.
He raises his gaze to meet Luke’s, and finds a terrifying vulnerability there. Reid presses his hand against Luke’s side, over the scar, and feels the goose bumps break out on Luke’s skin.
“And you seriously think that these deep, dark secrets of yours might change the way I feel about you?”
Luke shrugs. “Maybe? They’re things that really came between Noah and me,” he says quietly. “They changed what he thought of me.”
“Do I really have to point out how NOT Noah Mayer I am?”
Luke laughs weakly. “No. No you don’t.”
“Okay, you’d better tell me, then. Did you kill someone? Grand theft auto, maybe?”
Luke shakes his head and takes a deep breath before looking Reid squarely in the eye. “You know I never graduated from college. You assumed I quit, and I never corrected you. But I didn’t quit school. I was expelled. I was running for student body president and I rigged the election, and I got caught.”
Reid blinks. Several times. “Wow.”
Luke nods. “Yeah. Still time to cut and run,” he says.
Reid waves him off. “Details,” he says, reaching out his hands and wiggling his fingers. “Gimme details.”
Luke then explains how the whole, sorry situation came to be, including the fact that he'd been running against this idiotic Kevin person and his homophobic campaign manager, and the fact that it was Noah of all people who ratted him out. Jesus, could anything happen to Luke that wasn't steeped in melodrama?
“Look at the bright side,” Reid says, when Luke is done talking. “Your taste in men has improved dramatically since then.”
Luke shakes his head and tries to hide a smile. “You’re impossible.”
“Still time to cut and run,” Reid offers.
Luke shakes his head, “Not me,” he says. His head is bowed and he isn’t meeting Reid’s eyes, and Reid knows he has to say something. Something to take that scared, ashamed expression away, but before he can formulate a response, Luke is speaking again.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. You’re always so honest about…everything.”
“Some would say, too much so.”
“Yeah, I know, but…I can imagine what you must be thinking. Not only am I a drunk and blackmailer, I’m a liar and a cheat.”
“You forgot drama queen,” Reid adds.
“You think this is funny?”
He’s ticked off now, and that’s better than sad, at least. But obviously, Reid needs to work on this whole making people feel better thing.
“No, I don’t think it’s funny, but I don’t think it’s the end of the world, either. Look, you may not know this about me, because we have a lot to learn about each other, as we’ve already established. But those three words I said to you today? I’ve never said them before. At least, not since my parents died. To anyone. I love you. If anything, I think more of you now than I did before. Look at all the crap you’ve been through, and you’re still…you. Who I love. You got that part, right?”
Luke smiles shyly. “Yeah, I got that part.”
“Good,” Reid says. “Besides…” Reid takes a deep breath, and the words come out in a rush. “I…kind of did something similar when I was in school.”
“Wha…what?” Luke looks completely shocked, and a cold thread of fear runs through Reid.
This is going to be the hard part. If he wants this to work, he realizes - and he does, more than he's ever wanted anything else in his life - he's going to have to share his feelings. All of them. The not so confident ones. The ones where he’s feeling scared or hurt or lonely. The ones he's never wanted to admit to even having. But Luke has bared his soul for Reid, and even though he might end up regretting it, Reid owes him no less.
“When I was in med school, I cheated to win a fellowship position that should have gone to Chris Hughes.”
Luke is looking at him very intently, and Reid swallows hard. “Why?” Luke asks.
“Because I really needed it, and I wasn’t going to get it any other way. And I deserved it. Or, I thought so at the time. Just like you said you felt you deserved to win that election because you were the better person, I thought I deserved that fellowship because I was the better doctor. I’d worked so damn hard for it. I was on scholarship, but I had no other financial support, so I still had to work a part-time job to afford food and clothes and books. I’d left my uncle’s house at eighteen and never looked back, while Chris had money and parents who supported him and… everything that I didn’t have.”
Luke takes his hand and squeezes it. “What happened?”
“Well, applicants are reviewed based on both academic scores and letters of recommendation. Of course, I had Chris beat when it came to grades, and I had two good letters of recommendation. But I needed a third, and one very influential professor told me that he was giving Chris his support, because although I was academically gifted, I was lacking in people skills and didn’t relate well to patients or hospital staff. Can you believe that?”
Luke chuckles, and Reid reaches out to thumb the dimple in his chin.
“I didn’t have a charmer like you helping me out then.” Luke blushes and ducks his head, gazing up at Reid through his eyelashes.
“What did you do then?” Luke asks.
“I told him that I had evidence that he had fabricated the results of the most recent paper he’d published, and I would make it public if he didn’t support me instead of Chris. Which was totally bogus, but it worked.”
Luke’s mouth drops open. “You blackmailed him!”
Reid nods. “See, we’re more alike than you knew.”
Luke bites his lip. “I guess so.”
“So, have I disappointed you? I’m not the beacon of truth that you thought I was.”
Luke is looking at him like he can see into his soul, and then, without warning, he’s wrapping Reid up in his arms.
“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice whisper soft in Reid’s ear.
“For what?”
“I’m so sorry you didn’t have anyone for all that time. You must have been so lonely.”
Unexpectedly, tears sting Reid’s eyes. Damn it, Luke. He tucks his face into Luke’s neck and tries to breathe.
They stay that way for a few minutes, until Luke pulls away, resting his forehead against Reid’s. “I love you. You got that part, right?”
Reid nods. “I got that part.”
“We’re quite a pair aren’t we?”
“Well, there is one major difference between us,” Reid says. “I actually got away with it.”
Luke pulls back further, his arms still looped around Reid’s neck, an incredulous look on his face. “So, you’re saying you cheat better than me?”
“Don’t feel bad. I do most things better than most people. And, I was not handicapped with the intrepid Casey Hughes as my inept partner in crime, as you were.”
Luke is laughing now. “Reid! You and I were both very, very wrong!”
“I know, I know! I even confessed to Chris on his supposed deathbed. I just hope he was too high on pain killers to remember it, now that he’s going to live.”
Luke shakes his head, still grinning. “Well, I hope you learned your lesson, Dr. Oliver.”
Reid frowns. “Uh, sure. Of course. What was it, again?”
Luke lets out a dramatic sigh. “Cheating is wrong, no matter how much we think we deserve something. Unfortunately, we don’t always get what we deserve, Reid.”
Reid can’t help but smile at that. He takes Luke’s face in his hands, and kisses him soundly. “No, we don’t, always get what we deserve,” he agrees. “But sometimes, if we’re very, very lucky, we do.”