Sad News

[cindershadow]

As a`friend of cindershadow's for 23 years, it is my sad task to announce that she died this past Tuesday June 6, 2006. She was diagnosed with cancer less than a month ago, and the end came so quickly that she didn't have time to let everyone know. She was a life-long educator, reader, fan, and above all friend. Her family and friends want the LJ

Comments

[makd]

I've already expressed my condolences to her family and friends via a previous posting, and a small statement in my LJ. However: much appreciation for what an earlier poster called, "official" notification.

Cynthia was a joy, and will be missed every. single. day.

[ayinhara]

I first ran into cindershadow through our common love of horses. I offer my condolences to her family. She will be missed.

[_divya_]

I could not be more shocked right now.

Cindershadow was one of the most supportive people in fandom. She was always incredibly kind to me. She really liked it here, and had genuine admiration for those folks who wrote and then shared that writing with us all. She gave back by connecting us with stories and authors that she especially loved, and each post of hers was a guaranteed interesting read.

I wish we'd known she was sick, because I would have loved to give her support in return.

[starwatcher307]

.
Cindershadow was one of the most supportive people in fandom.

Yes, she was amazing. I miss her dreadfully.

I wish we'd known she was sick, because I would have loved to give her support in return.

According to this post, there was only three weeks between the cancer diagnosis and her death. I had an email from her where she said she wasn't letting people know because she didn't want them "hanging the crepe yet" and she intended to "live TILL I die". By that, I assume she thought she'd have a longer time to let us know, and then say goodbye. Unfortunately, cancer is not only viscious, it's unpredictable. All we can do is mourn lost opportunities -- like, a potential twenty years of friendship.
.

[_divya_]

I assume she thought she'd have a longer time to let us know

Mmm, yeah. Plus, the fact that she didn't find a way to let us know makes me think that us knowing wouldn't have been as much of a comfort to her as I would have ideally wanted it to be, neatly rendering the point moot. I mean, when you're offering help (/reassurance/comfort/a shoulder to cry on, etc.) to someone who doesn't want to be helped (/reassured/comforted/supported, etc.), all you're doing is annoying them, right? So, regardless of what I (rather pointlessly and foolishly) wish had happened, she did it the way she had to do it. And that's some comfort for me right there.

Thanks for those details; they're very appreciated.

[starwatcher307]

.
So, regardless of what I wish had happened, she did it the way she had to do it.

Exactly. I had sent an email to her and was waiting for an answer that never came. So torn -- be patient and let her handle it as she chose, or send another, with the risk of being pushy and irritating? As you say, we have to trust that she handled it the way she wanted it.

Thanks for those details; they're very appreciated.

You're welcome. Feel free to pass the link that I gave you, and this information around if you need to; CinderShadow had several fandoms, and sometimes there wasn't a lot of overlap; we don't know if the word has reached everyone who would want to know.
.

[snailbones]

Thank you for posting.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Like a load of other people on LJ, I hardly knew Cindershadow, but she manged to touch us all in some way. She was someone I hoped to get to know better. Stupidly I thought I'd have the time.

Please pass my condolences and love on to her friends and family.

Snail.

[shadowlass]

Thank you for posting. Cynthia was such a warm, giving presence in fandom--I can only imagine what a wonderful person she must have been in real life. Many of her online friends expressed their sorrow at the news here.

My sympathies to her family and friends. She'll live on in all our hearts.