Flu (Sick Wilson fic, R for themes)
#44 Wilson gets the flu. Bonus points for hilarious House-attempts at making him feel better/cheering him up. (House/Wilson preferred)
House came home from a grueling (read: he was only interrupted once during his nap) day at work to find Wilson sprawled on the couch and in the midst of a coughing fit. When Wilson was finally able to get the coughing under control and to take deep breaths, House grabbed the stethoscope off the coffee table and listened to his chest. This had been the routine since Wilson came down with the flu a few days ago. Despite being pumped thoroughly with Tamiflu and antibiotics and Day/Nyquil, Wilson just couldn’t seem to shake it. All he had done for the better part of the past few days was to alternately lay on the couch or in bed coughing and sneezing and being miserable and plotting revenge against the kid who had coughed on him in the first place.
House checked Wilson’s ears and glands and took his temperature. “Ears are clear, temperature still 100 degrees. Do you feel any better?” Wilson turned away from House and sneezed in response. “Bless you. I’ll take that as a no.” House handed a handful of tissues to Wilson who was waiting with eyes glazed over, to sneeze again. Wilson sneezed twice and blew his nose, and just looked inconsolable. House rolled his eyes.
“Bless you again. Are you done?”
“Thanks so much for caring.”
“I do care. I’ve been caring all week for you. Making you tea and soup and bringing you drugs.”
“Yes, I know having to be the provider must be so frustrating for you, instead of me enabling your sorry ass. Whatever have you done all week without having me at work to buy your lunch and coffee and snacks?”
For once House was at a loss for words, so he headed into the kitchen to retrieve a beer for himself and decided he must continue to cater to Wilson, lest he not put out once he was better. And he had better get well soon. His hand was getting sore from all the action it had been getting as of late. He poured a glass of orange juice for Wilson and headed back into the living room. House sat down on the bit of couch that wasn’t occupied by Wilson, his blankets or tissues and handed him the juice, which Wilson drained immediately.
“So, clinic duty was less boring than usual today.” House took a long pull on his beer and waited for a response.
“Hmmm? Was Cuddy wearing a push up bra?” Wilson sniffled and sat up slightly trying to look interested.
“No.” He paused, reflecting on the image of Cuddy’s tits for a moment. “This girl has come in because she had put half of a toothbrush holder up her hoo hoo.”
Wilson knew he was going to wish he hadn’t asked this later, but he couldn’t help himself. “Why did she use only half of a toothbrush holder?”
“Well she figured she could put her electric toothbrush inside the holder and get off that way.”
Wilson laughed until he coughed. House handed him a bottle of water off of the coffee table and waited until Wilson’s breathing was back under control.
“I told her to go to Good Vibrations and pick out something more appropriate for the task. I told her that they even came in purple like her toothbrush holder and in shapes like dolphins and rabbits and ducks and Hello Kitty. That seemed to boost her spirits.”
Wilson reached for the tissues and sneezed rather violently. He wiped his nose and sighed and cleared his throat. “Well that was nice of you.”
“Well, I do know my sex toys.” House said with a wink and a leer in Wilson’s direction.
This time it was Wilson’s turn to roll his eyes. “Not a chance, House.”
“I didn’t want your germ infested mouth near my cock anyway.”
“Wait until later when your jerking off in the bathroom for the 10th time this week and maybe you would rather it be my germ infested mouth.
House drained the last of his beer and tried not to think of Wilson’s mouth on his dick which became a bit more difficult as Wilson made himself more comfortable on the couch, his head resting on House’s good thigh. House grumbled something about Wilson not getting any snot on his jeans and turned the television on to AMC. If his fingers skated across Wilson’s head and back occasionally it was just to check his temperature, nothing more. Wilson smiled and relaxed into the contact and started to feel just a little bit better.
House came home from a grueling (read: he was only interrupted once during his nap) day at work to find Wilson sprawled on the couch and in the midst of a coughing fit. When Wilson was finally able to get the coughing under control and to take deep breaths, House grabbed the stethoscope off the coffee table and listened to his chest. This had been the routine since Wilson came down with the flu a few days ago. Despite being pumped thoroughly with Tamiflu and antibiotics and Day/Nyquil, Wilson just couldn’t seem to shake it. All he had done for the better part of the past few days was to alternately lay on the couch or in bed coughing and sneezing and being miserable and plotting revenge against the kid who had coughed on him in the first place.
House checked Wilson’s ears and glands and took his temperature. “Ears are clear, temperature still 100 degrees. Do you feel any better?” Wilson turned away from House and sneezed in response. “Bless you. I’ll take that as a no.” House handed a handful of tissues to Wilson who was waiting with eyes glazed over, to sneeze again. Wilson sneezed twice and blew his nose, and just looked inconsolable. House rolled his eyes.
“Bless you again. Are you done?”
“Thanks so much for caring.”
“I do care. I’ve been caring all week for you. Making you tea and soup and bringing you drugs.”
“Yes, I know having to be the provider must be so frustrating for you, instead of me enabling your sorry ass. Whatever have you done all week without having me at work to buy your lunch and coffee and snacks?”
For once House was at a loss for words, so he headed into the kitchen to retrieve a beer for himself and decided he must continue to cater to Wilson, lest he not put out once he was better. And he had better get well soon. His hand was getting sore from all the action it had been getting as of late. He poured a glass of orange juice for Wilson and headed back into the living room. House sat down on the bit of couch that wasn’t occupied by Wilson, his blankets or tissues and handed him the juice, which Wilson drained immediately.
“So, clinic duty was less boring than usual today.” House took a long pull on his beer and waited for a response.
“Hmmm? Was Cuddy wearing a push up bra?” Wilson sniffled and sat up slightly trying to look interested.
“No.” He paused, reflecting on the image of Cuddy’s tits for a moment. “This girl has come in because she had put half of a toothbrush holder up her hoo hoo.”
Wilson knew he was going to wish he hadn’t asked this later, but he couldn’t help himself. “Why did she use only half of a toothbrush holder?”
“Well she figured she could put her electric toothbrush inside the holder and get off that way.”
Wilson laughed until he coughed. House handed him a bottle of water off of the coffee table and waited until Wilson’s breathing was back under control.
“I told her to go to Good Vibrations and pick out something more appropriate for the task. I told her that they even came in purple like her toothbrush holder and in shapes like dolphins and rabbits and ducks and Hello Kitty. That seemed to boost her spirits.”
Wilson reached for the tissues and sneezed rather violently. He wiped his nose and sighed and cleared his throat. “Well that was nice of you.”
“Well, I do know my sex toys.” House said with a wink and a leer in Wilson’s direction.
This time it was Wilson’s turn to roll his eyes. “Not a chance, House.”
“I didn’t want your germ infested mouth near my cock anyway.”
“Wait until later when your jerking off in the bathroom for the 10th time this week and maybe you would rather it be my germ infested mouth.
House drained the last of his beer and tried not to think of Wilson’s mouth on his dick which became a bit more difficult as Wilson made himself more comfortable on the couch, his head resting on House’s good thigh. House grumbled something about Wilson not getting any snot on his jeans and turned the television on to AMC. If his fingers skated across Wilson’s head and back occasionally it was just to check his temperature, nothing more. Wilson smiled and relaxed into the contact and started to feel just a little bit better.