Life is not boring

[cindygerb]

Once again, I prove my self-destructive nature

Comments

[chaosdancer]

I am sorry. I've done this more than once myself and I've never learned how to be calm and patient with it. I have learned to shut up sometimes, but it burns...makes me physically ill to hold that much inside. There's gotta be healthier ways to deal with this stuff.

[singingnettle]

Nor do I have advice to offer, since I'm terrible at the social dance of starting relationships. But I do offer you my warmest sympathy. I'm sorry it's nothing more constructive than that.

[cindygerb]

The other reply is for you too - Thanks. Good to know I'm not alone. Love you :)

[cindygerb]

Thsnks. Good to know I'm not alone. :) Love you

[apestyle]

I think what you're supposed to do us let something simmer for a few days and if you can't contain yourself you blab to your girlfriends.

[cindygerb]

Hey girlfriend :)

[apestyle]

Oh okay.

Um. Now that I'm at a proper keyboard.

CALLED him a couple of hours later and gave a lecture on communication, negotiation, boundary issues.

That's...pretty intense. I'd never have done this unless I wanted someone to drop out of orbit.

[cindygerb]

Don't you think I realize that? I've done my damndest to drive anyone I really care about away. And I succeed because I'm very good at it

[paka]

Wish I knew what to say. It sounds really not fun.

[cindygerb]

Parts is, parts isn't. We are ignoring each other at the club these days. He cut the connection, so I can actually get myself under better control now.

Transformation

[mba500]

Oh my god, I did something different but with the same result with someone who to this date I consider as my best friend

Re: Transformation

[cindygerb]

Wolfgang, I want to say how happy I am that you are in my life. Love you.

I will try to follow your advice. The fact that he cut the connection is enabling me to recover some. I have more control, if I wish, over forming the connection. When I am stable, we will see what happens. Right now we are both present at the club but not talking. Tonight I have a date with a transgendered MIT alumna there. If he's there, let him watch :)

Re: Transformation

[singingnettle]

Sometimes it really does work to just back off and let some time go by. Two of my dearest friends are ex-partners. In the instance that's most analogous to this, it took us several years of careful distance before we could put back together the friendship that originally attracted us together.

I'm not sure lust makes a stable glue if that's pretty much all there is (although it's not a bad rubber band), but if you're friends with someone, there's a decent chance that if you can let the inflamed feelings die down, whatever you originally liked about each other will draw you back together.

Re: Transformation

[cindygerb]

We'll see. The lust is a result of the other feelings, not the cause. Right now he's angry because, among other reasons, he needs to go to others for his training and he wanted to do that with me.