my fucking family
i'm used to stupid-ass "i'm better than you at food" shit from my mom but i don't goddamn need it from my dad too.
Dad: Is your house warm?
Me: Yeah. We have it set at 68 but I wear extra layers and stay under blankets a lot and I do okay.
Dad: Oh, well, you know, ours is set at 72. Since we lost so much weight, we're both cold all the time.
Me: (in my head) THAT'S A SIGN THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG.
Me: (out loud) Oh, well, I've always been cold.
Dad: Yeah, but it's so much worse for us because we lost so much weight.
Me: (in my head) OH MY GOD FUCK YOU NO IT ISN'T.
[Seriously, I'm a freeze baby. Yes, I live in MN. Yes, I spent 4 hours this morning standing around outside volunteering for a 5K/10K race. But for example, right now my husband, who is a little thinner than I am, is wearing a t-shirt and a sweater and a pair of cords. I'm wearing a t-shirt and a hoodie and heavy-weight winter running tights and jeans and I have a blanket thrown over me and his hands are warm and mine are freezing cold. I don't just get cranky when I'm a little bit cold; I am objectively cold to the touch. I'm one symptom away from asking the doctor to check my thyroid, I'm that cold.]
Me: I think I ate my body weight in turkey, because it was so good.
Dad: Yeah, we ate some turkey, but we've been sick the whole rest of the day. This is only the third time I've had meat all year, you know, because it's better for us not to eat any.
Me: (in my head) NO, IT'S NOT, SINCE YOU ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO COMBINE PROTEINS OR DO VEGETARIANISM RESPONSIBLY.
[They don't. I've complained about this. My mother thinks that the standard recommended amount of protein is massively too much and it's soooooo bad for you. And then there's me: I had one of the best running weeks I've ever had after I basically ate Costco chicken salad for every single meal for a week. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the mayonnaise helping me, and I know I wasn't sleeping enough.]
Dad: I can't wait until I go to the doctor and see what my cholesterol is!
Me: Mine was about 130 last time I had it checked.
Dad: Well, but I haven't been eating meat, so mine should be even lower.
Me: (in my head) HOW THE FUCK DID THIS BECOME A COMPETITION.
[In all fairness, my dad's has been unnaturally high since he had a weird reaction to chemo. It was normally 170 or so but then spiked up to 300 and he's been trying to lower it, but considering how he didn't really eat a ton of meat before this current EAT ONLY VEGETABLES FUCK PROTEIN COMBINATION MY BODY WILL DO IT ON ITS OWN bullshit, I don't think it'll help.]
--
I am seriously fucking sick of my parents and their fucking moralizing about food, but mostly because they seem to think I eat like shit and I am absolutely completely sure that I do not. And even if I did eat like shit it's none of their fucking business.
Dad: Is your house warm?
Me: Yeah. We have it set at 68 but I wear extra layers and stay under blankets a lot and I do okay.
Dad: Oh, well, you know, ours is set at 72. Since we lost so much weight, we're both cold all the time.
Me: (in my head) THAT'S A SIGN THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG.
Me: (out loud) Oh, well, I've always been cold.
Dad: Yeah, but it's so much worse for us because we lost so much weight.
Me: (in my head) OH MY GOD FUCK YOU NO IT ISN'T.
[Seriously, I'm a freeze baby. Yes, I live in MN. Yes, I spent 4 hours this morning standing around outside volunteering for a 5K/10K race. But for example, right now my husband, who is a little thinner than I am, is wearing a t-shirt and a sweater and a pair of cords. I'm wearing a t-shirt and a hoodie and heavy-weight winter running tights and jeans and I have a blanket thrown over me and his hands are warm and mine are freezing cold. I don't just get cranky when I'm a little bit cold; I am objectively cold to the touch. I'm one symptom away from asking the doctor to check my thyroid, I'm that cold.]
Me: I think I ate my body weight in turkey, because it was so good.
Dad: Yeah, we ate some turkey, but we've been sick the whole rest of the day. This is only the third time I've had meat all year, you know, because it's better for us not to eat any.
Me: (in my head) NO, IT'S NOT, SINCE YOU ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO COMBINE PROTEINS OR DO VEGETARIANISM RESPONSIBLY.
[They don't. I've complained about this. My mother thinks that the standard recommended amount of protein is massively too much and it's soooooo bad for you. And then there's me: I had one of the best running weeks I've ever had after I basically ate Costco chicken salad for every single meal for a week. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the mayonnaise helping me, and I know I wasn't sleeping enough.]
Dad: I can't wait until I go to the doctor and see what my cholesterol is!
Me: Mine was about 130 last time I had it checked.
Dad: Well, but I haven't been eating meat, so mine should be even lower.
Me: (in my head) HOW THE FUCK DID THIS BECOME A COMPETITION.
[In all fairness, my dad's has been unnaturally high since he had a weird reaction to chemo. It was normally 170 or so but then spiked up to 300 and he's been trying to lower it, but considering how he didn't really eat a ton of meat before this current EAT ONLY VEGETABLES FUCK PROTEIN COMBINATION MY BODY WILL DO IT ON ITS OWN bullshit, I don't think it'll help.]
--
I am seriously fucking sick of my parents and their fucking moralizing about food, but mostly because they seem to think I eat like shit and I am absolutely completely sure that I do not. And even if I did eat like shit it's none of their fucking business.