Culture shock

Jun 20, 2012 18:27

Daniel's in IB*, a pretty demanding academic program. He's had a tough year, having gone from home schooling, to junior high where he did very well with little effort, to high school in amongst all the other kids who also did very well with little effort. Mostly it's the academics that have been a challenge, but part of it has also been the ( Read more... )

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arienaru June 21 2012, 03:05:33 UTC
I think you're doing the better thing; if it's not inside it's not actual discipline.

Expecting any particular reward for doing one's job is a bad habit to get into for the adult world, come to that.

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ciroccoj June 22 2012, 18:19:32 UTC
Yeah, that's how I see it - but sometimes you just start asking yourself, How likely is it that I'm right and everyone else is wrong?

I really like that Daniel studies hard because he wants to do well, and that he's not nervous about showing us a poor report card - not that he's had one, but he definitely wasn't happy with the last set of marks he got, and it had to do with him being frustrated, not with him fearing our wrath. And I like that he's decided to stick out the IB program for another year not because of us, but in spite of us. It's been a tough year. His dad and I would heave a sigh of relief if he chose to go to the local high school and not spend two hours a day commuting across town and the rest of his time studying. We miss him :(

He feels differently, and it's his education, so back he goes, God help us all. ::sigh::

OK maybe I shouldn't say that I like him deciding to go back for another year. I respect and admire him for deciding to stick it out. Yeah. That's better :)

ETA: Oh and according to him, for many of ( ... )

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navhelowife June 23 2012, 02:31:07 UTC
We don't really reward or "punish", but we did take away oldest's electronics when he decided to take a quarter off last school year...
Generally our feeling is that school is their "job" and they are to do their best, period.
That being said, we did reward hard work this year - because it was one of those years that everyone needed a little carrot at the end of the stick. But it's not a regular thing, and never for a single test or something like that.
That being said, I think we are in the minority. But that's okay with me!

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ciroccoj June 24 2012, 18:04:06 UTC
That being said, I think we are in the minority. But that's okay with me!
Word :) :) :)

I'm a big fan of bribery and threats as parenting tools, actually ;) It's how we got them to behave while grocery shopping when they were little, how we got them to tidy their rooms when they were a bit older, and countless other important things.

I'm just not sure it's appropriate at this stage in their development. Major events like taking off from school and/or straight-A+ report cards aside, IMHO if you're still doing it as a regular thing for school, something may have gone... wrong somewhere :/

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