He's just not that into that

[cister]

In the last three months, I have seen a marked increase in "how do I get my partner to dom me"-posts on LJ, fetish forums I read, fetish mailing lists, and the SZ. Where does that suddenly come from? I've been finding itching to reply, "not at all, prince/ss, and why don't you discuss with your partner instead of us?!" I really wonder how these

Comments

[quirkytizzy]

Hi. Found this post journal surfing and felt compelled to reply - this is a good post. I am, after many years of dating a dominant man, with my first "normie" boyfriend - at least in that his flavors of kink do not run towards the sado/masochist side of things. This has been quite a change of persepctive for me, and it took some time (and the inevitable talking to others) before it occured to me that I should be talking to *him* about it.

And viola! Like magic, the issues were laid out onto the table and the frustrations - while not completely "fixed", were definately eased up by the honest communication of them to each other. Certaintly at least I am more paitent with his lack of interest in pain play, which has helped the relationship a great deal.

It helps to know that even when you figure yourself pretty knowledgeable about this stuff, it never hurts to be reminded of the basics! Great post, I really appreciate seeing this on LJ.

[cister]

Thank you! I'm glad this could help.