(no subject)
The Lying Game, Why Castiel’s conflict avoidance created more conflict, and the fucked up dynamic of family.
My thoughts regarding Destiel, the Great Betrayal, and why this was avoidable.
To recap, Castiel, facing a second coming of the apocalypse, chose not to drag Dean back into a conflict and went to the demon king of hell, Crowley, to suss out a deal about getting to purgatory, getting the souls, and curb-stomping Raphael. He went through the entire season obfuscating that fact from the brothers Winchester, and finally began actively hiding things.
This is where our mess begins.
Before the Crowley burnination death fake out, the entire situation would have been an easy fix. A bit of trust issues for a while, but definitely not the end of the world, as it were. After the fake out, things get a little complicated.
I think at this point, Castiel believed the ends justified the means, but he still felt guilty enough about those means to hide them from Dean. He anticipated that telling Dean that he was working with Crowley would have ended in Dean losing complete trust in him and there being a break in their friendship. This was his first mistake.
I believe that Dean would have been upset, but it would have been fairly superficial. It would have been anger on principal, and once he managed to get around that, I think he would have heard Cas out, and tried to come up with a third option. Tried to help him out. But Cas preferred to avoid any break at all, so I think that he thought that to keep things hidden would ensure that Dean would never find out, never be upset, and all would be well.
Then Cas was found out, and things went to hell. Because things had progressed so far at this point, the nature of the break was different. What initially would have been a case of ‘you are working with a demon have you learned nothing from our mistakes we do not play this game anymore.’ turned into ‘you lied to us, you worked with a demon, you went behind our back, and now we can’t be sure of anything you say.’
In trying to avoid any conflict at all, Castiel has created an even bigger conflict. I think that he was hoping to get to the other side of the situation before Dean found out about his treason. “It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission” as it were, and he was probably banking on a “Dean, I know that you are upset, and I am upset too, but I did not want to ask you for anything more and look, I may have worked with a demon, but I saved the world!” and maybe Dean would forgive him before he was even mad.
Castiel did what he did for Dean on multiple levels. He brought Sam back for Dean. He did not want to get Dean involved because he thought he was happy. He did not tell Dean because he didn’t want Dean to be upset (with the selfish ulterior being that he did not want Dean to be upset with him). And he didn’t understand that Dean would have been happier on a suicide run with Cas and Sam at his sides than with the world saved and Cas lying to him.
The answer to this entire situation is the easy answer to most actual relationship problems. Honestly. Complete, up front, 100% honesty, from day one, step one. If Cas had come to Dean and said “I am lost and I don’t know what to do about this, please help me.” the absolute worst that would have happened would be Dean saying “No can do, man, I’m trying to be normal.” but he would not have said that. He would have said “Saddle up, I’ll bring the guns.” and he would have been happy to do it.
My thoughts regarding Destiel, the Great Betrayal, and why this was avoidable.
To recap, Castiel, facing a second coming of the apocalypse, chose not to drag Dean back into a conflict and went to the demon king of hell, Crowley, to suss out a deal about getting to purgatory, getting the souls, and curb-stomping Raphael. He went through the entire season obfuscating that fact from the brothers Winchester, and finally began actively hiding things.
This is where our mess begins.
Before the Crowley burnination death fake out, the entire situation would have been an easy fix. A bit of trust issues for a while, but definitely not the end of the world, as it were. After the fake out, things get a little complicated.
I think at this point, Castiel believed the ends justified the means, but he still felt guilty enough about those means to hide them from Dean. He anticipated that telling Dean that he was working with Crowley would have ended in Dean losing complete trust in him and there being a break in their friendship. This was his first mistake.
I believe that Dean would have been upset, but it would have been fairly superficial. It would have been anger on principal, and once he managed to get around that, I think he would have heard Cas out, and tried to come up with a third option. Tried to help him out. But Cas preferred to avoid any break at all, so I think that he thought that to keep things hidden would ensure that Dean would never find out, never be upset, and all would be well.
Then Cas was found out, and things went to hell. Because things had progressed so far at this point, the nature of the break was different. What initially would have been a case of ‘you are working with a demon have you learned nothing from our mistakes we do not play this game anymore.’ turned into ‘you lied to us, you worked with a demon, you went behind our back, and now we can’t be sure of anything you say.’
In trying to avoid any conflict at all, Castiel has created an even bigger conflict. I think that he was hoping to get to the other side of the situation before Dean found out about his treason. “It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission” as it were, and he was probably banking on a “Dean, I know that you are upset, and I am upset too, but I did not want to ask you for anything more and look, I may have worked with a demon, but I saved the world!” and maybe Dean would forgive him before he was even mad.
Castiel did what he did for Dean on multiple levels. He brought Sam back for Dean. He did not want to get Dean involved because he thought he was happy. He did not tell Dean because he didn’t want Dean to be upset (with the selfish ulterior being that he did not want Dean to be upset with him). And he didn’t understand that Dean would have been happier on a suicide run with Cas and Sam at his sides than with the world saved and Cas lying to him.
The answer to this entire situation is the easy answer to most actual relationship problems. Honestly. Complete, up front, 100% honesty, from day one, step one. If Cas had come to Dean and said “I am lost and I don’t know what to do about this, please help me.” the absolute worst that would have happened would be Dean saying “No can do, man, I’m trying to be normal.” but he would not have said that. He would have said “Saddle up, I’ll bring the guns.” and he would have been happy to do it.