Oh gosh, that first paragraph was a replica of the story of my life, like literally. dependent on others for self-validation? I cannot seem to understand such a thing in myself as I am always seen externally as "independent" by others, but only if they knew the real story. I get affected by the small, insignificant things... the things that are not suppose to matter, that should not even be taken to account for. I let myself go and mould to somebody that is not entirely me to suit others and societys reactions. ...but tell me this, is this the way we've always been living? Because I try to change with all the will in my mind but I can't seem to break it. I'm afraid i'll forever live in this scrutunizing cycle. ♥
I know exactly what you mean. I'm so independent and strong willed yet the I get so broken up over things done to me by others. I try so hard to change I really do but deep down I kind of feel like I am just lying to myself. So the cycle repeats .. I'm just hoping I'm either saved by someone/something or I grow out of it =/ ♥
we're all constantly striving to be accepted by those we secretly emulate. it's like middle school all over again, but an updated and adult version. and you have to stand back and look at the bigger picture. what signs have you been given? what's trying to stop you? we make mistakes because we're supposed to learn from them. no one is perfect, no matter how things might appear on the outside. we overcompensate for our shortcomings because that's what we've always seen others do. no one wants to admit that something is wrong with them. if we did, we'd be admitting that we have a weakness and weaknesses aren't generally accepted. maybe the reason things happened the way that they did was to stop you from getting in even deeper. a warning of how you would end up if you continued down that path. and you worry about the small details because you see them as controlable, and perhaps there is something bigger that is out of your control-- like our futures-- and you're compensating. like we were talking about last night.. we all have some
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dependent on others for self-validation? I cannot seem to understand such a thing in myself as I am always seen externally as "independent" by others, but only if they knew the real story.
I get affected by the small, insignificant things... the things that are not suppose to matter, that should not even be taken to account for.
I let myself go and mould to somebody that is not entirely me to suit others and societys reactions.
...but tell me this, is this the way we've always been living? Because I try to change with all the will in my mind but I can't seem to break it. I'm afraid i'll forever live in this scrutunizing cycle.
♥
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I'm so independent and strong willed yet the I get so broken up over things done to me by others. I try so hard to change I really do but deep down I kind of feel like I am just lying to myself. So the cycle repeats .. I'm just hoping I'm either saved by someone/something or I grow out of it =/
♥
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