there were three head-over-heels boys. marriage, babies, they wanted it all. then there was the one who couldn't - he loved me a lot but that seems to have forced him to fuck everything up as much as possible (cheating, lying, telling-me-i-wasn't-femme/good/pretty/smart-enough). it sounds sort of crazy - and a lot of people would tell me that i was rationalizing - but i knew him so well and knew what was rattling around in that big preppy skull of his. he was scared. terrified, even. so he counts as a half.
1. Told me they loved me. 2. Treated me like they loved me (even if it was at the time not healthy for either one of us, this 'treatment.')(like what I thought looked like "love" a couple years ago sure as hell doesn't look like "love" to me now, but I'll concede that it looked like it then and I believed it was then). 3. 'Relationship' lasted more than a month. For two of the people, it was not a monogamous relationship we were in. 4. Ha, for a large number of this 7 -- 5, in fact -- the 'end' the relationship was absolutely terrifyingly upsetting for both parties and I was terribly shaken for a long time. I don't think that's one of the 'conditions,' but I just realized that and laughed at myself and my 'tortured' youth. :)
wow this is depressing but a big fat zero i think maybe one yeah one for sure but i was a complete dick to her i try to get out of relationships before stuff like that happens though
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then there was the one who couldn't - he loved me a lot but that seems to have forced him to fuck everything up as much as possible (cheating, lying, telling-me-i-wasn't-femme/good/pretty/smart-enough). it sounds sort of crazy - and a lot of people would tell me that i was rationalizing - but i knew him so well and knew what was rattling around in that big preppy skull of his.
he was scared. terrified, even. so he counts as a half.
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1. Told me they loved me.
2. Treated me like they loved me (even if it was at the time not healthy for either one of us, this 'treatment.')(like what I thought looked like "love" a couple years ago sure as hell doesn't look like "love" to me now, but I'll concede that it looked like it then and I believed it was then).
3. 'Relationship' lasted more than a month. For two of the people, it was not a monogamous relationship we were in.
4. Ha, for a large number of this 7 -- 5, in fact -- the 'end' the relationship was absolutely terrifyingly upsetting for both parties and I was terribly shaken for a long time. I don't think that's one of the 'conditions,' but I just realized that and laughed at myself and my 'tortured' youth. :)
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but a big fat zero
i think maybe one
yeah one for sure
but i was a complete dick to her
i try to get out of relationships
before stuff like that happens though
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