The Worst Sex
No, not any that I've had.
No, I thought I'd torment you by showing you the excerpts from terrible sex scenes I was reading lately from The Bad Sex in Fiction Awards.
From The River Capture:
He clung to her, crying, and then made love to her and went far inside her and she begged him to go deeper and, no longer afraid of injuring her, he went deep in mind and body, among crowded organ cavities, past the contours of her lungs and liver, and, shimmying past her heart, he felt her perfection.
"Her perfection" is apparently another name for "the sternum." Also I guess he's hung like a barnacle.
I don't think I want to know what he means by "deep in mind," given that. Probably ocular penetration. Page suggested the ears. So I guess it's five cocks, one head. Well, seven, I guess, given the eye cavities.
From The Office of Gardens and PondsM, written by award winning French author Didier Decoin:
Miyuki took the opportunity when no-one was looking to place her lips for one last time on the long shaft of his penis, which had grown cold.
The earthy taste surprised her. When he was alive, when it swelled inside Miyuki’s mouth, Katsuro’s penis had tasted of raw fish, of warm young bamboo shoots, and of fresh almonds when she finally released its juices … He used to upset her by the way he silently loomed up behind her and took her by the shoulders, his nails scratching her flesh, his strong breath enveloping her neck, a smell of ripe fruit and poorly tanned leather, his knee pushing against her lower back to open her tunic and expose a portion of naked flesh against which he would then rub his organ as if he were furtively making omelette rolls. He did not derive his pleasure without her, but in front of her, and differently.
I think this man is kind of hungry.
Also, who makes omelet rolls with their penis?
From the same author:
Katsuro moaned as a bulge formed beneath the material of his kimono, a bulge that Miyuki seized, kneaded, massaged, squashed and crushed. With the fondling, Katsuro’s penis and testicles became one single mound that rolled around beneath the grip of her hand. Miyuki felt as though she was manipulating a small monkey that was curling up its paws.
This person is a man, and (I firmly believe) has a penis. I am not sure he has ever used it. Or been kicked in the balls.
No, I thought I'd torment you by showing you the excerpts from terrible sex scenes I was reading lately from The Bad Sex in Fiction Awards.
From The River Capture:
He clung to her, crying, and then made love to her and went far inside her and she begged him to go deeper and, no longer afraid of injuring her, he went deep in mind and body, among crowded organ cavities, past the contours of her lungs and liver, and, shimmying past her heart, he felt her perfection.
"Her perfection" is apparently another name for "the sternum." Also I guess he's hung like a barnacle.
I don't think I want to know what he means by "deep in mind," given that. Probably ocular penetration. Page suggested the ears. So I guess it's five cocks, one head. Well, seven, I guess, given the eye cavities.
From The Office of Gardens and PondsM, written by award winning French author Didier Decoin:
Miyuki took the opportunity when no-one was looking to place her lips for one last time on the long shaft of his penis, which had grown cold.
The earthy taste surprised her. When he was alive, when it swelled inside Miyuki’s mouth, Katsuro’s penis had tasted of raw fish, of warm young bamboo shoots, and of fresh almonds when she finally released its juices … He used to upset her by the way he silently loomed up behind her and took her by the shoulders, his nails scratching her flesh, his strong breath enveloping her neck, a smell of ripe fruit and poorly tanned leather, his knee pushing against her lower back to open her tunic and expose a portion of naked flesh against which he would then rub his organ as if he were furtively making omelette rolls. He did not derive his pleasure without her, but in front of her, and differently.
I think this man is kind of hungry.
Also, who makes omelet rolls with their penis?
From the same author:
Katsuro moaned as a bulge formed beneath the material of his kimono, a bulge that Miyuki seized, kneaded, massaged, squashed and crushed. With the fondling, Katsuro’s penis and testicles became one single mound that rolled around beneath the grip of her hand. Miyuki felt as though she was manipulating a small monkey that was curling up its paws.
This person is a man, and (I firmly believe) has a penis. I am not sure he has ever used it. Or been kicked in the balls.