Update of sorts
Friends, I feel like every time, almost, that I post here, it's about guilt and sadness - I miss you a lot, but I have been a bad friend, haven't been replying, haven't been writing, reading your posts and so forth, and that it's -
probably no one needs that.
For some reason, doing those things often takes a whole whole whole lot out of me - and i both miss and dread doing that.... it's hard to find among the posts, that one that are personal and meaningful, and often I'm just lost in a sea of list-posts not intended for me.... and then there are often things that trigger me, and one thing like that messes me up and ends that LJ visit and often more than that....
I want to stop feeling badly about it - and also i want this to be more fair towards you, ok ?
I will probably not be doing a lot of that - reading my friendslist (though if you want me to read somthing, let me know, ok? If you want me to read it it's probably about something important or something we share, or your wonderful art!) - might not reply to comments.... if one person writes one comment that triggers me, or even something triggering happens during my replying maybe? I just - am done, done replying done a lot of things - and then often i dread returning to LJ for months and then I don't want to and feel guilty....
tl;dr
1) I won't be reading my friends feed a lot (if you post something you want to share with ME, tell me?)
2) I sometimes won't reply when people PM me or reply to my posts
also
3) I write with typos, it's an anxiety thing
4) If this rubs your needs the wrong way and you's rather unfriend me - please do it now
Not in a bad way - just want to stop worrying and feeling badly about it, want you to be informed about
what you deal with -
wanna just -settle down
probably no one needs that.
For some reason, doing those things often takes a whole whole whole lot out of me - and i both miss and dread doing that.... it's hard to find among the posts, that one that are personal and meaningful, and often I'm just lost in a sea of list-posts not intended for me.... and then there are often things that trigger me, and one thing like that messes me up and ends that LJ visit and often more than that....
I want to stop feeling badly about it - and also i want this to be more fair towards you, ok ?
I will probably not be doing a lot of that - reading my friendslist (though if you want me to read somthing, let me know, ok? If you want me to read it it's probably about something important or something we share, or your wonderful art!) - might not reply to comments.... if one person writes one comment that triggers me, or even something triggering happens during my replying maybe? I just - am done, done replying done a lot of things - and then often i dread returning to LJ for months and then I don't want to and feel guilty....
tl;dr
1) I won't be reading my friends feed a lot (if you post something you want to share with ME, tell me?)
2) I sometimes won't reply when people PM me or reply to my posts
also
3) I write with typos, it's an anxiety thing
4) If this rubs your needs the wrong way and you's rather unfriend me - please do it now
Not in a bad way - just want to stop worrying and feeling badly about it, want you to be informed about
what you deal with -
wanna just -settle down