restore my faith in America, or put me on the next boat out of here

[cityofspheres]

A lady in my congregation women's group and I were having a disagreement that yall can weigh in on. I'm having objectivity trouble since, as many of you know, there was a key episode of yelling in my life in the past month

Comments

[papercuppie]

I don't think I could possibly answer this objectively, given my personal experience.

[cityofspheres]

I don't think any of use can be objective here, given that each of us is a child of parents, and each of us has been yelled at by someone or other at some point.

fer serial

[fractalwoman]

I think you and I are in major agreement on this front. I will share my subjective opinion anyway as, frankly, I think those who have lived through this don't talk about it enough.

Re: fer serial

[cityofspheres]

Yeah, now that I think about it, I guess objectivity is overrated. Everything is subjective...so with this poll I was going for majority rule, rather than well-argued objective opinions.

[pakgwei]

Well... yeah, I think the mental abuse needs to stop. If it can't be done without government intervention, then yes, you are going to need to probably get more than just 1 person's testimony. (Hidden camera?) At least, up in NY, you had to have very strong evidence before CPS would step in. They don't want to step in unless they can do something, because otherwise, an upset parent could take it out on the child.

[cityofspheres]

That would clear up how I actually feel about "mental abuse". Although, hidden cameras could result is priceless "America's Funniest Home Video" moments.

[tankozavr]

то есть ты эту женщину не знаешь?да?
просто если бы это была знакомая, то я бы сочла, что можно попробовать с ней поговорить...может поймет...
хоть наверное такие вещи здесь - очень неприличное вмешательство в прайвэт жизнь...

а если вмешаются любые сервисы...могут же и ребенка мамы лишить? ...а лучше ли ему будет...или не заберут, но это наоборот, усугубит ситуацию... ааааа, почеум так все сложно?...

[cityofspheres]

Нет, извиняюсь, не знаю ее. Я думаю ребенку будет лучше с мамой которая его кормит, одевает, и моет, но покрикивает.

[droidboy010101]

I picked "B" but more as a "call for advice" kind of thing and state there is some real concern over this woman's behavior.

Since this woman is a roommate, I would walk into confronter her by couching it in terms like, "I really have a problem with the amount of yelling in the house. It is really making me, the others and our guests very uncomfortable." Even though it's about her yelling at the kid, by not mentioning her kid at gets around defenseness that you are attacking her as a mother. This way it's as a roommate who is tired of the fucking yelling. If she blames the kid, then she's opened the door and tell her that the kid is not yelling like an idiot, the kid is not being mean because something is upsetting it, she is.

If that still doesn't work maybe she needs to see a video of herself yelling at the kid. She might not be aware how horrible she looks and sounds (or care until it's thrown back in her face.) Also it makes for important evidence if this persists

[cityofspheres]

Sorry that I gave the impression this was in my house.
I dunno whether the crafty shifting of discomfort to the other roommates and their guests would be a viable ploy. But it's certainly more creative and constructive than a lot of alternatives.

[droidboy010101]

I might have misread so sorry...

If it works, it works and just seems less extreme than running to the cops and CPS.

[nofcna]

Our next door neighbors yell all the time. They're diplomats of some country and have 2 small children (age 5 and 7?). It seems like yelling is the only way they know how to communicate with each other. No physical abuse that we know of, and it doesn't seem like they hate their children. But boy, do they scream at each other.

Anyway, good luck with it.

[cityofspheres]

Right on! Yelling is the way to communicate, for some people. Plus they have diplomatic immunity :)