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[cj182]

hummm, i need to write

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Hey dude... Guess who..

[frozenlestat]

Desperate yes we all are, at least for me it is. Especially since you just went through something unfortunate, I know what its like since I've been through it, and I've been really afraid to go to anything more than just being friends. Its not like I'm an unwanted parcel lying on the roadside, but its just fear of being tossed out again which makes me stay away from this type of issues. I'm just not ready to go into anything like that yet. I'm just not ready to make a commitment like that and at this juncture of my life. I've made an impulsive mistake and started cutting myself. It was fun for awhile, watching life flow out, and having a container to collect it. I've been living in self deprivation for awhile now, hence 'frozen lestat' since i'm beginning to freeze up inside, going numb toward the world. I know what its like feeling like a fountain of emotions but no one to shower it upon. I know what its like hoping everyday for the right one to come along but being kicked in the face every time. Please don't think that I was using