FIC: "Lessons" 1/1 (Harry Sinclair/Orlando Bloom) NC-17
Title: "Lessons" 1/1
Authors: Brenda & Jo (azewewish & idiosyncratic)
Featuring: Harry Sinclair, Orlando Bloom
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Vampires still don't exist. And Orlando's still not in a relationship with Harry and Karl.
Summary: Harry and Orlando have a very long overdue discussion.
Takes place right after A Few More Questions.
The house was quiet when Orlando let himself inside, and he took a moment to gather himself before heading down the hallway. Oddly enough, he didn't feel nervous. A little anxious, but in a good, anticipatory way, but there was a deep feeling of peace under it all. Maybe it really was time he started believing everyone and started trusting that Harry wanted to be with him. Maybe it was time to start believing himself when he said that it didn't matter that he wouldn't be first with Harry, because at the end of the day, Harry had still chosen to make a life with him, to share Karl with him. The rest could sort itself out as long as they still had that going for them.
To his surprise, Harry wasn't in the library. Frowning, Orlando turned and headed upstairs to the bedrooms, but Harry wasn't there, either. Nor was he in the gym downstairs, or in any of the other rooms. Orlando had made it to the kitchen when he saw the floodlights in the back of the house were on, and went out to investigate. He was two steps beyond the patio and on his way to the pool when he finally spotted Harry.
He was knee deep in dirt, digging up weeds (maybe, Orlando had no idea) in the garden. His hair was pulled back against his nape, and his jeans and t-shirt were streaked with black. The muscles in his back bunched and pulled with every motion as he dug, and off to the side, Orlando could see rose bushes, their roots wrapped in wet canvas bags, sitting next to bags of fertilizer. Planting, then, not digging weeds.
Harry swiped a bottle of water from the ground and took a healthy swallow, then turned and smiled in Orlando's direction. "Were you planning on simply standing there all night, or were you going to say something?"
"Would you think less of me if I said I was admiring the view?"
"I've no doubt you were, but that's not what brought you out here."
Orlando squared his shoulders. Showtime. "I think we need to talk."
"Do you?" Harry tilted his head and gave Orlando a considering look. Then he nodded. "Why don't you go change clothes and come back down. You can help me with the roses."
It didn't take Orlando long to go upstairs and strip out of his suit and slide into a pair of beat up jeans and an old t-shirt. He dug his flip flops from beneath the bed, slid them on, and looked around the room for a moment.
He could do this. If the last twelve years had taught him anything, it was that he could always talk to Harry. And that Harry would always listen. So Orlando took a few deep breaths to re-center himself, then headed back downstairs.
"So," he asked, rubbing his hands on his jeans as he looked around, "what do you need from me?"
"Just keep everything steady for me while I tamp the soil down."
"You got it." Not that Orlando really thought Harry needed his help, but he appreciated that Harry knew he'd want to keep his hands busy. He watched as Harry went to his knees to fill each hole by hand, using some dirt/fertilizer/compost mixture (whatever it was, it smelled horrific, but he quickly learned to breathe through his mouth) from the nearby wheelbarrow, keeping a steadying hand on the top of each shrub. Were they even called shrubs? Or bushes? He wished he'd paid more attention to his Nan when she'd been pottering around in her garden back in Kent.
Finally, Harry glanced up at him. "Your thoughts are a little like your driving, you know."
"What?"
"Erratic and fast," Harry grinned, and seeing it eased a little of the band around Orlando's chest. They could still laugh together.
"I want you to teach me how to harness our bond." Best to get the most important thing out of the way first.
Harry paused for a moment, then resumed patting down the soil. "Talking to Sean again?"
"And Josh," Orlando admitted. He kept Gerard's name out of it - it wouldn't do for Harry to wonder why Gerard was now giving Orlando advice. "I mentioned over drinks tonight that I was...having problems, I mean, with the intensity of the bond, and they, um..."
A gentle hand on his arm halted his stumbling explanation. "It's alright. You don't have to apologize for going to them for advice. I'm sorry I didn't think of it first myself."
"You are?"
"Of course. I just thought maybe Karl's bond with you would help to filter out some of the intensity of ours."
Orlando let out a weak laugh. "That would be nice," he said, scrubbing an arm across his eyes. "Maybe if I knew how...I dunno...it's just so overwhelming, and I -"
"Breathe. Just breathe, alright?"
Taking a slow, shaky breath, Orlando nodded. He could do that, no problem.
"Now, it's a lot like learning to control the telepathy. Just breathe and focus on the bond. Keep focusing on it and relax into it, alright?"
Orlando nodded again, keeping his eyes on Harry. The more he tried to relax, the more the bond surged and tangled. So he closed his eyes and started counting each breath. In. Out. In. Out.
"That's good," Harry softly said, and Orlando felt pride pulse along the bond in a gentle glow. "Now just let it settle out around you."
"I, uh, I can talk to Sean," Orlando said, eyes still closed, trying to stay calm and relaxed as the bond slowly started to untangle itself. He tapped his temple. "Up here, I mean."
"Interesting," he heard Harry murmur, then louder: "Keep counting your breaths and relax. Think of this as meditation for the bond."
Meditation for the bond. Okay, that sounded...doable. So Orlando did his best, just inhaled and exhaled and concentrated on the bond. After a few minutes, it was almost like he could see the strands of it unravel and loosen up. Which was sort of weird, but kinda cool.
He had no idea how much time passed when he opened his eyes again. But he no longer felt bombarded by emotion or overwhelmed by intensity. Instead it was, much like Sean had told him, almost like the bond was behind a thin gauze veil.
"Karl likes to call it a bond condom."
Orlando blinked, then a giggle burst out of him before he could control it. "You're kid...of course you're not kidding."
Harry grinned. "I wish I was, but you know what he's like."
"Yeah, I do." Bond condom. Okay, that was never not going to be funny as hell.
"So, tell me about you being able to communicate with Sean mentally," Harry said, after Orlando's laughter had subsided. "Can you do it with anyone else or just him?"
"I don't know," Orlando admitted. "I haven't tried it with anyone else. I mean, I didn't try it with Sean, either. It just...happened."
Harry reached for the last bush/shrub/thing and placed it in its spot, waiting until Orlando steadied it before scooping up more soil to place around it. "Tell me what you were doing."
"Well, we were talking," Orlando said, then stopped. He didn't want to go into details, but he didn't see how he could avoid it. "I don't really remember how we got there, but we were talking about the Gift, and I...Sean looked at me, and...I was just thinking that I didn't want him to say anything or pity me, and he...he answered me. In my head. I didn't realize I'd done it until then."
"I don't suppose I need to tell you that you shouldn't have been able to communicate with him like that. Or any vampire not me or Karl."
"Yeah, Sean mentioned. He, um, he thought it was a good idea for me to talk to Katie. Said maybe it's a latent, uh, vampirism or whatever you want to call it."
"Makes as much sense as anything." Harry slid his forearm across his head in a vain attempt to capture the sweat. "No other vampire's had the Gift for so long before being unmade."
"Yeah, Sean said that, too." Orlando watched as Harry went around each bush with the watering can and soaked them. "It doesn't...bother you? I mean, that I might have some residual mojo?"
The space between Harry's brows furrowed. "Why would it? You're still you, whether you can communicate with other vampires mentally or have any other latent vampirisms, to borrow your phrase."
"Because it makes me weird?"
"It doesn't make you any weirder than before. You're you. Orlando Bloom. Having a bit extra - " Harry waved one hand in a vague motion "- doesn't change that."
"You say that now," Orlando muttered. He took Harry's hand when it was offered and let Harry pull him up from the ground. "What if there's other stuff? How do we know?"
"I suppose we'll discover them as they reveal themselves," Harry said, looking only a little surprised when Orlando slid an arm around his waist and pressed against him as they started towards the house. "If there are any."
"And knowing I'm a freak doesn't bother you?"
Harry tapped Orlando's nose with a finger. "I've been a freak for centuries. Why would I think any less of you than I do myself?"
Which made a lot of sense. "I hadn't actually thought about it like that."
"One day, I'd love to know how you got this bizarre impression that Karl and I ever gave a good goddamn about what other people think, or that we'd care what you do, as long as it makes you happy."
"I dunno, maybe it has to do with the two of you being on the Council or Karl being next in line to lead it, or..." Orlando trailed off as they climbed the stairs. He had no idea, really.
Harry stopped outside their bedroom door. "Being on the Council has no bearing on how Karl and I conduct ourselves outside Council chambers. You don't have these crazy hang-ups where Sean is concerned, and he's third in line."
"Well, no, but -" He stopped Harry when he made a move to go past him. Time for phase two. "If you're going to shower, you could probably use someone to wash your back."
Harry arched an eyebrow and something close to a smile lurked around the edges of his mouth. "Is that your subtle way of inviting yourself into the shower with me?"
"Was I being subtle?" Orlando asked, as he stepped in to press against Harry, one hand fisting in his shirt. Do or die time, so to speak, and Orlando realized it was past time he stepped up and took back the control he'd surrendered. "I didn't mean to be."
"I see," Harry said, and that was definitely amusement in his gaze. "So you're asking to shower with me, is that it?"
"I don't recall asking," Orlando replied in a low voice. "I believe I was volunteering my services. And you, love, are accepting them."
"It would be impolite of me to refuse, I suppose."
"And we all know how much you hate being impolite," Orlando answered, and jerked Harry forward to finally bring their lips together. He kept the kiss deliberately light, but firm. And Harry easily responded, letting Orlando set the pace, and it was so nice and easy - so familiar - that Orlando wondered why he'd been so afraid to take that first step.
Harry was smiling when they finally parted. "That took you long enough."
"Hmm?"
"I was beginning to wonder if perhaps you weren't interested in a physical relationship these days," Harry clarified, with another light kiss. "I was giving you another week before resorting to drastic measures."
"I...wait, drastic measures? What drastic measures?"
"Oh, I think I'll keep those to myself. Just in case I need them in the future."
Orlando narrowed his eyes, trying to determine if Harry was simply yanking his chain. Harry, as always, didn't give a single clue. So Orlando decided to brazen it out.
Stepping back, he pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it to the floor. "Well, if you want to find out just how interested I am in a physical relationship," he said, reaching for the button of his jeans as he strolled towards the bathroom, "then I suggest you be in the shower in the next five minutes."
"Do I get extra points for beating that time?"
Orlando paused, hands on the shower knobs, and looked behind him. Harry was standing in the doorway, gloriously, perfectly naked, and every bit of blood in Orlando's body made a mad dash south. He wondered if anyone had ever passed out from lust.
It took a ridiculous effort to finish starting the shower and to stand up straight. His mouth was cotton dry. The words tumbled out of him before he could call them back. "Am I gonna have to beg you to fuck me through the wall, because I could do it, if that's what you wanted, I'm good at -"
"Orlando." Harry backed Orlando into the shower, and shut the door behind them. Then his hands were in Orlando's hair, yanking his head back to bare his throat. "You don't have to beg," Harry told him, then his mouth was on Orlando's, the kiss hard, fierce, and untamed.
God, how Orlando had missed this. He surged forward, one hand tangling in Harry's hair, the other on his hip, fingers digging in to strong muscle. Water washed over them, slicking their skin, and Orlando pressed closer. He wanted more, needed more.
He just moaned into the next kiss, sliding his hands over Harry's body, fingertips relearning every muscle, every scar. It had been so long. When he felt sharp fangs graze his jaw, he shuddered. There was a distinct possibility he wouldn't survive this (and really, had anyone ever died from too much pleasure?), but damned if he wasn't going to enjoy every second of it while it lasted.
It seemed like time stuttered, then started again, like he'd jumped through a wormhole or something, because one minute, they were pressed skin to skin, as close as possible, lips sliding together, and the next, he was facing the wall, and Harry was trailing wet kisses down his spine, murmuring softly to him in a language he didn't understand, but it didn't matter. He knew what Harry was telling him - you're beautiful, you're mine, I've missed you, I want you - because he felt the exact same way. Their bond crackled with energy, rolling from his fingers to his toes, and by the time Harry was on his knees behind him, cool air mixed with water striking his skin as gentle hands slid down the back of his thighs to nudge them apart, he was quivering with need.
"Rwyt ti'n brydferth," he heard Harry say, reverent and soft, like he was reciting a prayer.
"Please." Orlando's voice shook. His entire body shook. He couldn't remember the last time he'd wanted anything more. Then he dropped his head between his elbows and simply melted as Harry's tongue flickered, then dove in with confident jabs.
//That's it, love, open for me. Let me know how much you want this.//
Orlando couldn't reply. Every particle of his being was drowning in sensation as Harry used his hands to spread him wider, each stab wet and slick and so perfect that Orlando thought he might die if Harry ever stopped. His skin felt stretched too tight across his body, like he'd break apart and fly into a thousand pieces, and each breath was a shallow pant as he tried to hold it together. His body moved, rocking back against Harry, and he knew it wasn't going to take much to send him over the edge. Not with how long it had been and how much he'd missed this, missed Harry taking him apart, inch by inch, until there was nothing left of him except pure sensation.
Then Harry did something, some twisty, curling sleek thrust deep inside him, and Orlando splintered, coming with a hoarse moan, the bond pulsing with love and gratitude, and still so much want that he shuddered from the force of it. He had no time to come down from his high, before Harry's cock was replacing his tongue, pushing inside, filling him completely, as Harry pressed his body against Orlando's and laced their fingers together above Orlando's head.
//Tell me.// The words were a caress, a promise, as Harry started to move, sure and deep inside him. //I want to hear you.//
Orlando, as always, was helpless to resist. "Yours, please...I love you so much...oh God," he gasped, practically sobbing with pleasure as he put himself completely in Harry's hands, met each snap of hips with his own, flesh slapping wetly against flesh, rhythmic and deep and everything he'd wanted and dreamed about the last few, lonely months. He could feel Harry's pleasure, feel how much Harry wanted this, and it only spurred him on.
Lips touched his nape as they moved together, and Orlando let his head fall forward. Shudders rippled up his spine. He tightened his hands on Harry's, clinging to the contact in an effort to hold on to what little control he had left.
Then his head tipped to the side in silent invitation.
Razor sharp points slid along his skin, pressed deeper, then withdrew. And again. Over and over until Orlando thought he would shatter under the teasing touches. "Harry..."
"No begging."
The intensity of the bond was almost enough to shove Orlando over the edge. But it was controlled now, pulsing in waves that sent him spiraling closer and closer to release. He could feel Harry right there with him, just as close, then Harry struck and the world exploded around Orlando, stealing breath and thought and vision until nothing existed except himself and Harry and a white haze of pleasure.
He slumped forward, sucking in much needed air and turned his face towards the spray as Harry slid out of him. He shivered at the loss, but Harry plastered himself almost immediately against Orlando's back again, strong arms wrapping around his waist. "I'd ask if you feel better, but it's pretty self-evident."
Orlando chuckled and let his head fall forward again, hoping the water would start to cool overheated nerve endings. "Do you have any idea how long it's been since we've had sex?"
"Seven months, two weeks, and five days, give or take." Harry placed a light kiss to the already healing marks on Orlando's neck. "You weren't the only one who'd missed this."
Orlando shivered at the brief touch, his skin pebbling beneath Harry's lips. "I'm sorry," he said, twisting to face Harry. "I didn't -"
"I know." His lips touched Orlando's forehead, and he stepped back beneath the spray, pulling Orlando with him. "Now, though...now we can finally start moving forward."
"We can?"
"I've just been waiting for you to make the first move," Harry said, gentle fingers tipping Orlando's chin up. "You had to do this on your own. You had to make the decision and follow through. I couldn't do it for you. If I had, we'd simply be repeating ourselves."
Orlando nodded, knowing that what Harry said was true. It was nothing less than what he'd said to Sean and Gerard and Josh earlier tonight. He shoved wet hair out of his face and peered up at Harry. "Has it really been that long?"
"Is that really what you want to talk about?"
"No," Orlando admitted, with a tiny smile. "I think that...maybe...we need to talk about what we expect. From each other. I, ah, I'm not in this alone, and I know that, and I just...think that we haven't been, y'know, working as a team. Much."
"Not since the early days after your unmaking."
"That long? Really?" Although it made sense. After those first few weeks, Orlando'd started pulling away from Karl and Harry, determined to prove to both of them that he was strong enough to recover on his own, that he could stand on his own two feet without them propping him up. Maybe that really had been the start of it. "I guess it just got to be a habit," he said aloud. "I wanted so badly to prove to you and Karl that I could do this on my own that I stopped...talking to either of you."
"And we stopped asking," Harry affirmed. "Neither of us wanted to undermine you, and I know, for my part, I was afraid to overwhelm you with the bond, so I held back."
Orlando sighed, toying with the damp hairs on Harry's nape. "I'm beginning to think this entire unmaking was a big mistake."
"I thought that myself in the beginning," Harry admitted, "but ultimately, I think you were right to do it. We didn't have any time for us to just be with our bond, and barely any time for you to cement your bond with Karl before it all changed. We were all guilty of acting with too much haste."
"Love, that's the story of my life." Orlando smiled, pleased when Harry chuckled. "But I've been trying to do better."
"I know. I've been watching you. Even when you think I've been ignoring you." He framed Orlando's face with gentle hands and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "But we have the time now, and we can relearn each other and grow into the bond. I think we've both changed over the last two years."
Orlando nodded, noting the strong features and the warmth in Harry's eyes. "Be honest with me. Do you think it would be a mistake for me to ask for the Gift again? Not right now, but...eventually."
"I don't know." To Harry's credit, he held Orlando's gaze. "I know taking this step backwards has to be hard for you after having the fangs for so long, but I also think that you need to be just a pet for awhile, and Karl and I need that as well. But forever's a very long time. I just don't want you feeling like you have to prove something to me in order for me to give you the Gift. It's never been a matter of you being worthy of it."
"Except I wasn't." Orlando put a hand over the scar on Harry's chest. The words, to his surprise, came pretty easy. "I wasn't worthy or ready for it. It took me a long time to realize that, and as much as I do want the Gift again, I meant it when I told you I didn't want it to come between us."
Harry put his hand over Orlando's, squeezed gently. "I appreciate it. And, at the end of the day, it's your question to ask. When you think you're ready, we'll talk. And I promise, when that day comes, I won't evade the issue."
"I feel like I've disappointed people."
"Why?"
"Because." Orlando exhaled slowly, then slumped. "The whole point was to correct the mistake we made in the beginning, and now I've withdrawn the request and I've just been compounding the mistakes. Running away, shutting you and Karl out, I don't...this isn't just about me."
Harry didn't argue with him. Orlando couldn't say he was surprised. Harry simply looked at him patiently and slid his hands along Orlando's shoulders. "Alright," he said after a moment. "Tell me what you're thinking."
"This is about us," Orlando said as he looked down to where his hand still covered that scar. "I can't be the only one ready. What if I am and you're not? You promise you won't evade the issue, and I believe that. But that doesn't mean we won't end up going in the same circles. I won't go through that again. I'd rather remain mortal and be just a pet for the rest of my life that do that to us again."
"Orlando, I promise you, if you open yourself to making this bond work between us, if you open yourself up to myself and Karl and we learn to communicate with each other as equals, you'll know when you're ready, because you know I'll be ready."
"Oh." Orlando's brows came together. Was it really that simple? Maybe this is what Sean had been trying to tell him - being equal had nothing to do with going alpha or anything like that. "I guess I've been focusing on the wrong aspect all this time."
"More than anything else, being an equal is about listening and being in tune with your partner," Harry replied, quietly. "It's something that took Karl and I decades to figure out. And I'm not saying that it'll take us as long or that the road will be as bumpy for us as it was for me and Karl - at least, I hope it won't," he smiled, "but it starts with letting go. Both of us letting go.
"And," he added, with another soft kiss, "you're not just a pet right now. It's past time you realize just how rare and wonderful you are without worrying about what you're not."
"Rare and wonderful," Orlando said, with a weak laugh. "That's one way of putting it. I mean, look at me. The only pet to ever be bonded to two vampires, the only mortal to hold any Council related position...I don't mind. I've gotten used to it over the years."
He slid his hands down Harry's arms and caught his hands, giving a gentle squeeze. "I don't care about all that, okay? I care about you and Karl and making you proud of me."
"We've always been proud of you."
"I know. But I want to earn it. I'm an infant compared to the two of you, and there's so much I don't know, so much I didn't learn...I want to learn it all now. From you, and from Karl. And I thought..."
"Go on," Harry said after a moment. "You thought what?"
"I want you to teach me how to ride."
"Alright. But we're going to have to get out of the shower and get dressed first."
Orlando made a face. "Are you winding me up?"
"No, just stating a fact," Harry replied, cheerfully. "You know I'm happy to teach you anything you'd like to know."
"Well, I want to. Learn, I mean. I don't know why I didn't learn when I was a vampire and it wouldn't matter if I got injured, and anyway, I'm tired of letting fear of injury stop me. I didn't let it stop me when I was mortal the first time."
"Which is exactly the right attitude to have," Harry replied, bringing Orlando's hands to his lips to place a kiss to each one. "Besides, what you keep forgetting is that you do still have heightened healing. You're not as weak or defenseless as a normal mortal would be."
"I know, but I'm not as strong as I was before, either," Orlando pointed out. He reached around Harry to turn off the water, then looked up at him. "I just...I used to jump out of planes and off cliffs, and I think I lost that person when I put on the suit and tie."
"Then perhaps it's time to ditch the suit and tie and the attitude that goes with it." Harry stepped out of the shower and grabbed two towels, passing one to Orlando before he started to dry himself.
"I'm Viggo's assistant."
"I know," Harry said, clearly amused, but Orlando wasn't sure why. "I take it you haven't paid close attention to the way most of the building shows up for work. You only need to wear the suit and tie for actual meetings."
"I...fuck." Orlando stood there and stared at Harry as he dripped water onto the floor. He'd been so caught up in doing his job and not making any mistakes, but thinking back, he realized that he'd seen people in the halls in jeans and flip flops, looking like they'd just rolled in from the beach. "Well fuck."
Harry chuckled. "I'd say that sums it up. Now dry off, and we'll see about finding that man again. I think we'll go down Mulholland."
"To start? But, that's..."
"You'll be fine. Unless you don't think you're up for it..."
Well, when Harry put it like that, it wasn't exactly like Orlando could refuse. Still, Mulholland. With all of those hairpin curves. "Fuck it," he said aloud. "But if anything happens to me, you know you'll have to answer to Karl."
"Nothing's going to happen to you."
***
Over an hour and four wipeouts later, Orlando was pretty damn thankful that Harry had made him wear full leathers in addition to his helmet. He was never going to get the hang of leaning into each turn instead of trying to pull the bike upright. Harry'd kept trying to explain centrifugal force and how it worked and why it was important, but it was all mumbo jumbo science when he'd been faced with the reality of being that close to asphalt. Although he kept kissing it anyway, so it's not like it mattered.
"Maybe this wasn't such a great idea," he said, tearing off his helmet in frustration as Harry picked the bike up and set it back on its kickstand. There were all kinds of scratches and dents along the sides and piping now.
"You need to trust your instincts more instead of fighting against them," Harry said. The wind blowing in from the hills ruffled his hair. Unlike Orlando, he was in a pair of faded-to-hell jeans and a navy tee that probably should have been thrown out about a decade ago. It was practically transparent. Also, unlike Orlando, Harry looked completely relaxed.
"My instincts are telling me that my knee scraping pavement isn't a good idea."
"Well, you're right about that part, but your knee does need to be close to the pavement. You've been on the back of a bike enough times to know how it feels when you're in a turn."
"Yeah, but I'm not trying to change gears with my hands at the same time when I'm on the back of the bike. I'm just...enjoying the ride."
"You're overthinking it," Harry said, with a wide grin. Orlando didn't see what was so funny. "You figured out how to change gears in the first fifteen minutes."
"Yeah, and then you added that to it," Orlando said, gesturing towards the curve that he'd just wiped out on. Again.
"You can do this." He sounded so patient, so calm, that Orlando almost believed him. "Just relax, trust your instincts, and let go."
"You make it sound so easy," Orlando grumbled, giving the bike a dirty look as he climbed back on it and took his helmet from Harry.
//It is easy. You know how to move with the bike already. Just let it happen.//
Let it happen. Right. Orlando relaxed his shoulders as the bike idled beneath him, and closed his eyes. Harry believed in him, believed he could do this, or he would have never suggested doing it. One thing he'd definitely learned over the years was that Harry might love to challenge him, but he'd never, not once, ever given Orlando a task that he didn't feel Orlando could do. This was no different.
When he opened his eyes, he saw Harry flash him a thumbs up sign. //You can do this.//
//I can do this// Orlando repeated, and finally put the bike in gear. He headed back up the hill, taking it nice and easy, senses attuned to the wind blowing around him, the night sky overhead, the houses dotting the hills beyond the cliff beside him, the road beneath his feet. He was still breathing steady and slow when he reached the top of the hill and turned around, thankful it was late enough that there wasn't a lot of traffic, and started back down the hill, feet and hands working in concert to kick the bike into a higher gear. The turn rushed at him, but he forced himself to relax his grip on the handlebars, and lean with the bike, trusting in the mumbo jumbo science and the bond gently pulsing with encouragement and love.
He was through the turn almost before he even registered he'd made it, and on top of the next one, taking it with an ease that would have shocked him if he hadn't been concentrating so hard on hugging the curves and downshifting. A warm glow filled him and he wasn't sure if it was from himself or from Harry. Either way, he didn't care. He'd done it. //I did it!//
//Congratulations.//
He was laughing when he finally stopped and pulled off his helmet, letting the breeze tug strands of damp hair from his face.
//Ready for something a little more challenging?//
Orlando looked back up the hill, just able to make out Harry, still standing by the roadside. More challenging than Mulholland at night on a friggin' motorcycle? //What'd you have in mind?//
//Come back up here, pick me up, and do it again.//
Do it... With Harry on the back of the bike? Orlando wondered if he'd forgotten how to breathe. He felt a little lightheaded, then realized it was giddiness. Harry trusted him enough to ride with him? Orlando's next laugh had an edge to it, and he wiped his face with one hand before tugging the helmet on again.
//Alright, love, but if we wreck, you get to explain it to Karl.//
//We're not going to wreck.//
Again, the confidence in him was humbling. But also, in a very real way, freeing. Harry still trusted him, even after everything that had happened in the last couple of years. Somehow, it made it easier to trust himself.
When he stopped the bike, Harry just favored him with one of those heart-stopping grins, and climbed on the back of the bike. "Bottom of the hill to Cahuenga, then back up," Harry said. "Think you can do it?"
//Sure, why not?// He didn't bother to ask Harry to put on a helmet - Harry didn't need to, first off, and it was another sign of trust in him that Harry'd gone without. He wasn't going to question it.
The weight distribution with someone else took a minute of getting used to, but Orlando took the climb to the top of the hill to relax into it, to figure out how to move and guide Harry to move with him. It was a little like dancing or sex, when it came right down to it. And sex with Harry was something he had gotten really good at over the last twelve years.
When they reached the top and turned around, Orlando paused for a moment. Then he revved the engine. //Ready?//
//Just waiting for you// came Harry's amused reply.
So Orlando grinned, gave the bike some more gas, and let go. He went faster this time, wishing he had the helmet off, and the first turn was upon them before he had a chance to do more than take a few breaths.
He could feel Harry's joy and trust and love, and it was still overwhelming as hell, but Orlando reveled in it. He wanted to wallow in that feeling for the rest of his life. //Love you.//
//Love you, too.// Harry's arms tightened briefly around his waist. //Faster.//
Faster? Orlando just stopped himself from looking over his shoulder. Faster. Harry was out of his fucking mind. What was even worse was that Orlando had to be out of his, too. He laughed, then screamed inside the helmet as he gave the bike even more gas, the next turn approaching almost too fast to comprehend.
By the time they were at the light at the Cahuenga Pass, Orlando was pretty damn sure that Harry was possibly a worse influence on him than Karl. "I can't believe we made it," he said aloud, pulling off his helmet and looking up at the twisting turns in awe. He'd taken those turns. On a bike. With Harry riding bitch, trusting him to get them down in one piece.
"I had every faith in you."
"If this is your idea of a first lesson, I can't wait to see what the second one's like." Probably Coldwater Canyon blindfolded or something equally ridiculous.
"You've gotten the worst of your fear out of the way and learned to trust both the machine and your control of it. The rest is superfluous."
Funny how Harry's words could be applied to so many other things, not just the bike. Trust his control, trust himself, and don't be afraid to take the curves at 80. Orlando leaned back against Harry. "Is that what you want from me?"
"It's a start," Harry said, bending to briefly nuzzle Orlando neck. "Somewhere along the way, you stopped trusting us, but what's worse is that you stopped trusting yourself."
"I changed," Orlando quietly said, knowing Harry could hear him. His eyes followed the traffic on the 101. "I didn't want to lose what I had, even though I didn't think I deserved it."
"And now?" Harry asked, just as quietly.
"You and Karl wouldn't have chosen me if I didn't deserve it," Orlando replied, and finally allowed himself to believe it. "So what now?"
"Now we re-learn how to be partners and equals. Which won't be as easy as this was," Harry added, gesturing at the road. "No doubt we'll backslide and get stuck and have to keep pushing each other to move in the right direction."
"It'll be worth it," Orlando stated, and let the truth of it settle within himself. It would be worth it, if he could gain back that part of himself that he'd lost along the way. "Especially now that I know I won't lose you and Karl."
"You were never in any danger of losing either of us," Harry told him, wrapping an arm around his waist and pressing his chest against Orlando's back. "I know Josh and Monica threw you for a loop, but neither of us ever meant to make you feel unloved or unwanted or unworthy."
"I adore Monica. And Josh is cool," Orlando said, ignoring Harry's snort of laughter. He wasn't going to dignify that with a response, not so soon after Sean's comment about him and Josh cuddling like limpets. Whatever. Like cuddling was a bad thing. Besides, Josh was really good at it. "And I never felt unloved. The one thing I have never doubted is that the two of you love me. I just...I dunno, sometimes it felt like you realized you might be better off without me. Like I was a hassle neither of you needed."
"You have been a hassle at times. But never one we didn't need. Even when you frustrated the hell out of me, I need you to push me as much as you need me to push you. We've both been a little too complacent with the status quo."
"I can push. I've been told I'm pretty good at it."
"You are exceptional at it."
"Well, I hate to brag, but..." When their laughter subsided, Orlando turned his face to press a kiss to the underside of Harry's jaw. "I guess I just need to know if I'm making the right choices. I mean, I don't mind fucking up, but maybe a little direction would be nice. I know it's important to you that I figure things out on my own, but..."
"Now you feel like you can't come to either of us with your concerns," Harry finished. "And I'm sorry for that. That certainly wasn't our intent."
"I know that now. Well, I mean, maybe I always sort of knew it, but now I believe it." It was surprising to find out he really did. "I guess it just took awhile for me to realize that just because I didn't have the same history or shorthand with you two that you both have with each other doesn't mean that I don't have anything to offer."
"That will come with time. It's not like Karl and I started out simpatico with each other. Far from it."
"But that's just it. I still don't really know that much about your past," Orlando said, warming to his topic. "I mean, sure, bits and pieces, but it's like pulling teeth to get you guys to talk about anything, especially you."
"I apologize for that," Harry said, and Orlando could hear the wry smile in his voice. "I don't like -"
"I know, you don't like to brag," Orlando interrupted. He made a face. "But it's not bragging, love. I trust that you wouldn't exaggerate things. So it really could be like a history lesson."
"If you're interested in history, you could always ask Gerard," Harry teased, not even flinching when Orlando elbowed him.
"You're not funny. Besides, Karl is going to teach me vampire history," Orlando said, sounding so haughty, even to himself, that he was surprised Harry didn't burst out laughing. "I want to know about the battles and travelling the world and everything that you saw and did. Do you realize that I know how you met Monica, but you never talk about Lauren's mother?"
Harry stilled behind him, and for a moment, Orlando thought he'd pushed too far, too fast and touched a nerve, but then Harry relaxed and placed a soft kiss to his nape. "Come on, let's walk for a minute," he said, and got off the bike.
Orlando set the bike on its kickstand and took Harry's hand, allowing Harry to lead him away from the road and into the sparsely wooded area beside it. He could still see Cahuenga and headlights of the cars on the 101 beyond the trees, but the traffic sounds were muffled. "I won't apologize for asking about her, but if you're not ready to talk..."
"It's fine," Harry said, and squeezed his hand. "It's natural that you would be curious about Diane. I met her in Martinique, just after the battle. She was a missionary there, and when we came to shore for supplies, we met. It was...she had a quiet strength about her that I admired."
"Martinique?" Orlando did a quick bit of mental calculation from what he knew of Lauren's age when she died. "So this was...the late 1700's then? The first or second battle?"
Even in the dim light, Orlando could see that Harry looked impressed. "The second," Harry replied, raising Orlando's hand and brush a light kiss across his knuckles. "I see you do know a little history."
"Just the naval battles," Orlando said, with a shrug. "I had a teacher who drummed the dates into our heads. The sea parts were the only bits that stuck with me."
Harry laughed and pulled Orlando close, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Then you'll be able to follow some of it. I was on the Intrepid," Harry said, guiding Orlando across the ground with ease, "and we needed to take on a few supplies for minor repairs on the way back to St. Lucia, where we were based."
"Was Karl on the Intrepid with you?" Orlando asked, aware that the two of them had often worked in different areas of battle, especially when working under different commanding officers. "Or was he on one of the other ships?"
The hesitation was so slight that Orlando might have missed it if he hadn't been paying such close attention. "No, he was...in Morocco with Liv at the time."
In Morocco with Liv? Orlando opened his mouth to ask why, then abruptly closed it. A few of the pieces of Harry's reluctance to talk about Diane were starting to fall into place. He wondered if maybe Karl being in Morocco with Liv had anything to do with Joaquin, and if so, that would explain a lot. "I see," he finally said aloud. "So you were, what, starved for affection?"
He knew he'd achieved the right blend of cheekiness and curiosity when Harry simply chuckled. "It wasn't quite like that, no. But not having Karl around did mean that I wasn't as distracted as I might have been."
"What you really mean is, Karl wasn't around to suck up all of the oxygen in the room and all of your attention to go with it," Orlando grinned.
"Cheeky child," but Harry was still smiling, so Orlando figured it was alright. "At any rate, I wound up staying with her until spring when I finally persuaded her to come with me back to England where she would be safe. I wound up missing the rest of the war, but I was still able to advise when needed. And Viggo was just as happy that I was staying put and settling down for awhile, as he put it."
"Never in one place for very long?"
"Not usually, no," Harry admitted. "Karl would say that I was a free spirit. Viggo, on the other hand, would tell you that I was itchy. I think it was more that I'd been in so many battles by that point that I wasn't truly comfortable staying still."
"And Diane changed that?" If they could just avoid bumping up against the subject of Joaquin, Orlando thought (even though Harry didn't know that Orlando knew anything at all about Joaquin), maybe he could keep Harry talking.
"For a while. She wasn't frail, but she was hardly the warrior that Gina, and Salma, were and still are."
"Salma?" Startled, Orlando stopped in his tracks and stared at Harry. Salma? His Salma, the one who'd spent countless hours teasing him over the headset about video games? Then Orlando shook his head. Best to file that away for later, or else they'd get sidetracked and he'd never learn about Diane. "No, no, continue, please."
"As I was saying, she was far from frail, but she was delicate. She had no business traipsing around the world following me, so I settled down."
"How long before Lauren came along?"
"We had six years together before Lauren was conceived," and, in Harry's voice, Orlando thought maybe he heard an echo of old grief. He remembered Harry and Karl both telling him about Lauren's birth and how Diane had barely lived long enough to hold her daughter and to make Harry promise he'd never allow Lauren to take the Gift.
"I'm sorry," he said, stopping long enough to wrap Harry in a tight hug. "You must have loved her very much."
"She was unlike any lover I've had before or since. Although you have the same quiet strength she did, and the same stubbornness," Harry added. "Thankfully, Lauren inherited both of those traits from her mother as well."
"I'm pretty sure she got the stubbornness from you," Orlando replied, placing a hand over Harry's heart. "What did she look like? Diane, I mean."
"Karl's shown you pictures of Lauren, yes?" When Orlando nodded, Harry continued, "She looked just like her mother. Only Diane was...delicate, as I said. Slender. Barely came to my shoulder."
"Doesn't sound like your type," Orlando mused, thinking of Karl's towering physique and presence, and of Monica, with her va-va-voom curves and statuesque build.
"Like I said, she was unlike any other lover I've had," Harry replied. "But she...let's just say, in a very real way, she was exactly what I needed at the time. And I like to think I made her happy. We only had a few, short years, but they were good ones."
"I'm sure you made her very happy," Orlando said, quietly, and wrapped his arms around Harry once more. He filled their bond with as much love and warmth as he could, knowing he'd succeeded when Harry hugged him hard. "Will you..."
He trailed off, unsure how to ask if Harry could show him. Sure, Harry had done it in regards to his bond with Karl and his feelings for Monica, but Diane had been mortal. Orlando didn't even know if it was possible.
"Will I what?" Harry urged, his voice gentle.
"Can you show me? Like you did for Monica? Is...is that possible?"
"Not exactly. It's different with mortals. The bond with companions is fleeting, meant only to last a handful of years, at best," Harry explained. "But I could share my memories of her."
"Wait, really?" He didn't know that was even a possibility.
"They'll be more impressions than anything else, but yes."
"Huh." Orlando didn't need much time to think about it, though. He just lifted his head and gave Harry an encouraging look. "Would you? I mean, share that with me?"
"Close your eyes and concentrate on what I'm giving you through our bond," Harry said, and Orlando did so, letting his head fall on Harry's shoulder as he relaxed and followed the path Harry'd laid out for him.
Harry was right, he realized after a moment - it was like looking at a painting by Pissarro or Renoir, muted and blurred around the edges, but incredibly beautiful all the same. He caught snatches of a bright, lilting laugh, of soft hands and a softer voice that belied the steel underneath, of a quick mind and quicker wit, and underlying it all was an innate sense of calmness and peace that seemed to radiate through everything else. No wonder Harry'd been so smitten, he thought. He was enchanted, and she'd died centuries before he'd even been born.
When it faded, Orlando lifted his head and wiped his cheeks. "Thank you," he whispered, throat working at the strength of the memories.
"No, little one," Harry said, and Orlando lifted his head in shock to find tears in Harry's eyes. "Thank you for letting me remember."
Orlando burrowed into Harry's embrace, holding tight, trying to give Harry whatever it was he needed. As they stood there in silence, Orlando put together everything he knew of Karl, Monica, Diane...and himself. In doing so, he realized - or thought he did - that he didn't have to change a thing about himself to keep Harry.
Intelligence, a quick wit, grace, beauty, compassion and warmth, and a quiet strength that could defeat any obstacle - all things that he had in spades if he believed what everyone around him said. As the realization came to him, he started to laugh softly.
"What's so funny?"
"Just..." Orlando hiccupped with giggles, then shrugged. "I think I just figured it all out."
"Figured what all out?"
"Why you fell in love with me. I couldn't really see it before," Orlando admitted, leaning in to give Harry a smiling kiss. "It was just hard for me to look past Karl and Monica and how different I am from them."
"But you're not," Harry replied, brushing the top of Orlando's cheeks with the tips of his fingers. "Not really."
"I know. Like I said, I get it now. Quiet strength," he said, and let some of that newfound knowledge and peace flow through their bond. "I don't have to be all alpha or in your face or challenge you to blindfolded duels or whatever else. I can just...be me."
"And that is all I've ever wanted. But, if you ever feel the need to challenge someone to a blindfolded duel, go to Karl. He has a knack for them."
Orlando blinked, then broke out into giggles. "I promise, no duels. Blindfolded or otherwise." He looked up, lifting one hand to trace the curve of Harry's jaw. "And I know that I don't have to be an alpha or anything, but...I'd kinda like to work on that. In the bedroom, I mean. With Dom...it was...I liked it. I mean, it's not something I want all the time, because I think it would be pretty damn exhausting, but every once in a while? Yeah, I would."
"Well, whenever you feel the urge to practice, I'm right here, and so is Karl. Unless, of course, you prefer practicing with Dom."
Orlando resisted the urge to stick out his tongue. "You're a real comedian, you know that."
"I leave that to Karl," Harry replied, and looped an arm around Orlando's shoulders as they headed back towards the bike. "But you do know that you don't have to worry if you did want to practice with Dom. Or anyone else."
"I know." Orlando wrapped his arm around Harry's waist, reveled in the easy closeness. "But I think I might stick to practicing with just you and Karl for awhile."
"That's your choice. Although at some point, when you're ready, you know Karl and I are still interested in seeing you with a woman."
"I, uh, think I'd like a little more practice. With women," Orlando said, hoping the dark hid his face.
"Practice all you like," Harry said, and he was smiling when Orlando looked up. They stopped at the bike, and Harry framed Orlando's face with his hands. "But know that we don't care how experienced you are with them. You'll be beautiful either way, and we want to share in that with you."
Orlando's lips curved in a smile. "How is it that you always know exactly what to say?"
"Because I know you." Then he kissed Orlando, soft and slow, and the light, easy caress made Orlando's toes curl. Then he pressed the helmet into Orlando's hands. "Now, why don't you take us home, and maybe we can start on that meditation you wanted to learn."
"Yeah?" Orlando couldn't help the pleased smile. "You remembered."
"Of course I did." Harry gently placed the helmet on Orlando's head and worked the strap through the loops. "You still interested?"
Orlando nodded eagerly, then swung a leg over the bike, starting it with a throaty rumble. He felt Harry take the seat behind him and wrap strong arms around his waist, and yeah, this was good. This was better than good. He owed Sean and Gerard and Josh big-time for this, he thought, as he started the easy climb back up the hill. Maybe, later on, he'd ask Harry for his advice on what to get them to show his thanks.
***
Authors: Brenda & Jo (azewewish & idiosyncratic)
Featuring: Harry Sinclair, Orlando Bloom
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Vampires still don't exist. And Orlando's still not in a relationship with Harry and Karl.
Summary: Harry and Orlando have a very long overdue discussion.
Takes place right after A Few More Questions.
The house was quiet when Orlando let himself inside, and he took a moment to gather himself before heading down the hallway. Oddly enough, he didn't feel nervous. A little anxious, but in a good, anticipatory way, but there was a deep feeling of peace under it all. Maybe it really was time he started believing everyone and started trusting that Harry wanted to be with him. Maybe it was time to start believing himself when he said that it didn't matter that he wouldn't be first with Harry, because at the end of the day, Harry had still chosen to make a life with him, to share Karl with him. The rest could sort itself out as long as they still had that going for them.
To his surprise, Harry wasn't in the library. Frowning, Orlando turned and headed upstairs to the bedrooms, but Harry wasn't there, either. Nor was he in the gym downstairs, or in any of the other rooms. Orlando had made it to the kitchen when he saw the floodlights in the back of the house were on, and went out to investigate. He was two steps beyond the patio and on his way to the pool when he finally spotted Harry.
He was knee deep in dirt, digging up weeds (maybe, Orlando had no idea) in the garden. His hair was pulled back against his nape, and his jeans and t-shirt were streaked with black. The muscles in his back bunched and pulled with every motion as he dug, and off to the side, Orlando could see rose bushes, their roots wrapped in wet canvas bags, sitting next to bags of fertilizer. Planting, then, not digging weeds.
Harry swiped a bottle of water from the ground and took a healthy swallow, then turned and smiled in Orlando's direction. "Were you planning on simply standing there all night, or were you going to say something?"
"Would you think less of me if I said I was admiring the view?"
"I've no doubt you were, but that's not what brought you out here."
Orlando squared his shoulders. Showtime. "I think we need to talk."
"Do you?" Harry tilted his head and gave Orlando a considering look. Then he nodded. "Why don't you go change clothes and come back down. You can help me with the roses."
It didn't take Orlando long to go upstairs and strip out of his suit and slide into a pair of beat up jeans and an old t-shirt. He dug his flip flops from beneath the bed, slid them on, and looked around the room for a moment.
He could do this. If the last twelve years had taught him anything, it was that he could always talk to Harry. And that Harry would always listen. So Orlando took a few deep breaths to re-center himself, then headed back downstairs.
"So," he asked, rubbing his hands on his jeans as he looked around, "what do you need from me?"
"Just keep everything steady for me while I tamp the soil down."
"You got it." Not that Orlando really thought Harry needed his help, but he appreciated that Harry knew he'd want to keep his hands busy. He watched as Harry went to his knees to fill each hole by hand, using some dirt/fertilizer/compost mixture (whatever it was, it smelled horrific, but he quickly learned to breathe through his mouth) from the nearby wheelbarrow, keeping a steadying hand on the top of each shrub. Were they even called shrubs? Or bushes? He wished he'd paid more attention to his Nan when she'd been pottering around in her garden back in Kent.
Finally, Harry glanced up at him. "Your thoughts are a little like your driving, you know."
"What?"
"Erratic and fast," Harry grinned, and seeing it eased a little of the band around Orlando's chest. They could still laugh together.
"I want you to teach me how to harness our bond." Best to get the most important thing out of the way first.
Harry paused for a moment, then resumed patting down the soil. "Talking to Sean again?"
"And Josh," Orlando admitted. He kept Gerard's name out of it - it wouldn't do for Harry to wonder why Gerard was now giving Orlando advice. "I mentioned over drinks tonight that I was...having problems, I mean, with the intensity of the bond, and they, um..."
A gentle hand on his arm halted his stumbling explanation. "It's alright. You don't have to apologize for going to them for advice. I'm sorry I didn't think of it first myself."
"You are?"
"Of course. I just thought maybe Karl's bond with you would help to filter out some of the intensity of ours."
Orlando let out a weak laugh. "That would be nice," he said, scrubbing an arm across his eyes. "Maybe if I knew how...I dunno...it's just so overwhelming, and I -"
"Breathe. Just breathe, alright?"
Taking a slow, shaky breath, Orlando nodded. He could do that, no problem.
"Now, it's a lot like learning to control the telepathy. Just breathe and focus on the bond. Keep focusing on it and relax into it, alright?"
Orlando nodded again, keeping his eyes on Harry. The more he tried to relax, the more the bond surged and tangled. So he closed his eyes and started counting each breath. In. Out. In. Out.
"That's good," Harry softly said, and Orlando felt pride pulse along the bond in a gentle glow. "Now just let it settle out around you."
"I, uh, I can talk to Sean," Orlando said, eyes still closed, trying to stay calm and relaxed as the bond slowly started to untangle itself. He tapped his temple. "Up here, I mean."
"Interesting," he heard Harry murmur, then louder: "Keep counting your breaths and relax. Think of this as meditation for the bond."
Meditation for the bond. Okay, that sounded...doable. So Orlando did his best, just inhaled and exhaled and concentrated on the bond. After a few minutes, it was almost like he could see the strands of it unravel and loosen up. Which was sort of weird, but kinda cool.
He had no idea how much time passed when he opened his eyes again. But he no longer felt bombarded by emotion or overwhelmed by intensity. Instead it was, much like Sean had told him, almost like the bond was behind a thin gauze veil.
"Karl likes to call it a bond condom."
Orlando blinked, then a giggle burst out of him before he could control it. "You're kid...of course you're not kidding."
Harry grinned. "I wish I was, but you know what he's like."
"Yeah, I do." Bond condom. Okay, that was never not going to be funny as hell.
"So, tell me about you being able to communicate with Sean mentally," Harry said, after Orlando's laughter had subsided. "Can you do it with anyone else or just him?"
"I don't know," Orlando admitted. "I haven't tried it with anyone else. I mean, I didn't try it with Sean, either. It just...happened."
Harry reached for the last bush/shrub/thing and placed it in its spot, waiting until Orlando steadied it before scooping up more soil to place around it. "Tell me what you were doing."
"Well, we were talking," Orlando said, then stopped. He didn't want to go into details, but he didn't see how he could avoid it. "I don't really remember how we got there, but we were talking about the Gift, and I...Sean looked at me, and...I was just thinking that I didn't want him to say anything or pity me, and he...he answered me. In my head. I didn't realize I'd done it until then."
"I don't suppose I need to tell you that you shouldn't have been able to communicate with him like that. Or any vampire not me or Karl."
"Yeah, Sean mentioned. He, um, he thought it was a good idea for me to talk to Katie. Said maybe it's a latent, uh, vampirism or whatever you want to call it."
"Makes as much sense as anything." Harry slid his forearm across his head in a vain attempt to capture the sweat. "No other vampire's had the Gift for so long before being unmade."
"Yeah, Sean said that, too." Orlando watched as Harry went around each bush with the watering can and soaked them. "It doesn't...bother you? I mean, that I might have some residual mojo?"
The space between Harry's brows furrowed. "Why would it? You're still you, whether you can communicate with other vampires mentally or have any other latent vampirisms, to borrow your phrase."
"Because it makes me weird?"
"It doesn't make you any weirder than before. You're you. Orlando Bloom. Having a bit extra - " Harry waved one hand in a vague motion "- doesn't change that."
"You say that now," Orlando muttered. He took Harry's hand when it was offered and let Harry pull him up from the ground. "What if there's other stuff? How do we know?"
"I suppose we'll discover them as they reveal themselves," Harry said, looking only a little surprised when Orlando slid an arm around his waist and pressed against him as they started towards the house. "If there are any."
"And knowing I'm a freak doesn't bother you?"
Harry tapped Orlando's nose with a finger. "I've been a freak for centuries. Why would I think any less of you than I do myself?"
Which made a lot of sense. "I hadn't actually thought about it like that."
"One day, I'd love to know how you got this bizarre impression that Karl and I ever gave a good goddamn about what other people think, or that we'd care what you do, as long as it makes you happy."
"I dunno, maybe it has to do with the two of you being on the Council or Karl being next in line to lead it, or..." Orlando trailed off as they climbed the stairs. He had no idea, really.
Harry stopped outside their bedroom door. "Being on the Council has no bearing on how Karl and I conduct ourselves outside Council chambers. You don't have these crazy hang-ups where Sean is concerned, and he's third in line."
"Well, no, but -" He stopped Harry when he made a move to go past him. Time for phase two. "If you're going to shower, you could probably use someone to wash your back."
Harry arched an eyebrow and something close to a smile lurked around the edges of his mouth. "Is that your subtle way of inviting yourself into the shower with me?"
"Was I being subtle?" Orlando asked, as he stepped in to press against Harry, one hand fisting in his shirt. Do or die time, so to speak, and Orlando realized it was past time he stepped up and took back the control he'd surrendered. "I didn't mean to be."
"I see," Harry said, and that was definitely amusement in his gaze. "So you're asking to shower with me, is that it?"
"I don't recall asking," Orlando replied in a low voice. "I believe I was volunteering my services. And you, love, are accepting them."
"It would be impolite of me to refuse, I suppose."
"And we all know how much you hate being impolite," Orlando answered, and jerked Harry forward to finally bring their lips together. He kept the kiss deliberately light, but firm. And Harry easily responded, letting Orlando set the pace, and it was so nice and easy - so familiar - that Orlando wondered why he'd been so afraid to take that first step.
Harry was smiling when they finally parted. "That took you long enough."
"Hmm?"
"I was beginning to wonder if perhaps you weren't interested in a physical relationship these days," Harry clarified, with another light kiss. "I was giving you another week before resorting to drastic measures."
"I...wait, drastic measures? What drastic measures?"
"Oh, I think I'll keep those to myself. Just in case I need them in the future."
Orlando narrowed his eyes, trying to determine if Harry was simply yanking his chain. Harry, as always, didn't give a single clue. So Orlando decided to brazen it out.
Stepping back, he pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it to the floor. "Well, if you want to find out just how interested I am in a physical relationship," he said, reaching for the button of his jeans as he strolled towards the bathroom, "then I suggest you be in the shower in the next five minutes."
"Do I get extra points for beating that time?"
Orlando paused, hands on the shower knobs, and looked behind him. Harry was standing in the doorway, gloriously, perfectly naked, and every bit of blood in Orlando's body made a mad dash south. He wondered if anyone had ever passed out from lust.
It took a ridiculous effort to finish starting the shower and to stand up straight. His mouth was cotton dry. The words tumbled out of him before he could call them back. "Am I gonna have to beg you to fuck me through the wall, because I could do it, if that's what you wanted, I'm good at -"
"Orlando." Harry backed Orlando into the shower, and shut the door behind them. Then his hands were in Orlando's hair, yanking his head back to bare his throat. "You don't have to beg," Harry told him, then his mouth was on Orlando's, the kiss hard, fierce, and untamed.
God, how Orlando had missed this. He surged forward, one hand tangling in Harry's hair, the other on his hip, fingers digging in to strong muscle. Water washed over them, slicking their skin, and Orlando pressed closer. He wanted more, needed more.
He just moaned into the next kiss, sliding his hands over Harry's body, fingertips relearning every muscle, every scar. It had been so long. When he felt sharp fangs graze his jaw, he shuddered. There was a distinct possibility he wouldn't survive this (and really, had anyone ever died from too much pleasure?), but damned if he wasn't going to enjoy every second of it while it lasted.
It seemed like time stuttered, then started again, like he'd jumped through a wormhole or something, because one minute, they were pressed skin to skin, as close as possible, lips sliding together, and the next, he was facing the wall, and Harry was trailing wet kisses down his spine, murmuring softly to him in a language he didn't understand, but it didn't matter. He knew what Harry was telling him - you're beautiful, you're mine, I've missed you, I want you - because he felt the exact same way. Their bond crackled with energy, rolling from his fingers to his toes, and by the time Harry was on his knees behind him, cool air mixed with water striking his skin as gentle hands slid down the back of his thighs to nudge them apart, he was quivering with need.
"Rwyt ti'n brydferth," he heard Harry say, reverent and soft, like he was reciting a prayer.
"Please." Orlando's voice shook. His entire body shook. He couldn't remember the last time he'd wanted anything more. Then he dropped his head between his elbows and simply melted as Harry's tongue flickered, then dove in with confident jabs.
//That's it, love, open for me. Let me know how much you want this.//
Orlando couldn't reply. Every particle of his being was drowning in sensation as Harry used his hands to spread him wider, each stab wet and slick and so perfect that Orlando thought he might die if Harry ever stopped. His skin felt stretched too tight across his body, like he'd break apart and fly into a thousand pieces, and each breath was a shallow pant as he tried to hold it together. His body moved, rocking back against Harry, and he knew it wasn't going to take much to send him over the edge. Not with how long it had been and how much he'd missed this, missed Harry taking him apart, inch by inch, until there was nothing left of him except pure sensation.
Then Harry did something, some twisty, curling sleek thrust deep inside him, and Orlando splintered, coming with a hoarse moan, the bond pulsing with love and gratitude, and still so much want that he shuddered from the force of it. He had no time to come down from his high, before Harry's cock was replacing his tongue, pushing inside, filling him completely, as Harry pressed his body against Orlando's and laced their fingers together above Orlando's head.
//Tell me.// The words were a caress, a promise, as Harry started to move, sure and deep inside him. //I want to hear you.//
Orlando, as always, was helpless to resist. "Yours, please...I love you so much...oh God," he gasped, practically sobbing with pleasure as he put himself completely in Harry's hands, met each snap of hips with his own, flesh slapping wetly against flesh, rhythmic and deep and everything he'd wanted and dreamed about the last few, lonely months. He could feel Harry's pleasure, feel how much Harry wanted this, and it only spurred him on.
Lips touched his nape as they moved together, and Orlando let his head fall forward. Shudders rippled up his spine. He tightened his hands on Harry's, clinging to the contact in an effort to hold on to what little control he had left.
Then his head tipped to the side in silent invitation.
Razor sharp points slid along his skin, pressed deeper, then withdrew. And again. Over and over until Orlando thought he would shatter under the teasing touches. "Harry..."
"No begging."
The intensity of the bond was almost enough to shove Orlando over the edge. But it was controlled now, pulsing in waves that sent him spiraling closer and closer to release. He could feel Harry right there with him, just as close, then Harry struck and the world exploded around Orlando, stealing breath and thought and vision until nothing existed except himself and Harry and a white haze of pleasure.
He slumped forward, sucking in much needed air and turned his face towards the spray as Harry slid out of him. He shivered at the loss, but Harry plastered himself almost immediately against Orlando's back again, strong arms wrapping around his waist. "I'd ask if you feel better, but it's pretty self-evident."
Orlando chuckled and let his head fall forward again, hoping the water would start to cool overheated nerve endings. "Do you have any idea how long it's been since we've had sex?"
"Seven months, two weeks, and five days, give or take." Harry placed a light kiss to the already healing marks on Orlando's neck. "You weren't the only one who'd missed this."
Orlando shivered at the brief touch, his skin pebbling beneath Harry's lips. "I'm sorry," he said, twisting to face Harry. "I didn't -"
"I know." His lips touched Orlando's forehead, and he stepped back beneath the spray, pulling Orlando with him. "Now, though...now we can finally start moving forward."
"We can?"
"I've just been waiting for you to make the first move," Harry said, gentle fingers tipping Orlando's chin up. "You had to do this on your own. You had to make the decision and follow through. I couldn't do it for you. If I had, we'd simply be repeating ourselves."
Orlando nodded, knowing that what Harry said was true. It was nothing less than what he'd said to Sean and Gerard and Josh earlier tonight. He shoved wet hair out of his face and peered up at Harry. "Has it really been that long?"
"Is that really what you want to talk about?"
"No," Orlando admitted, with a tiny smile. "I think that...maybe...we need to talk about what we expect. From each other. I, ah, I'm not in this alone, and I know that, and I just...think that we haven't been, y'know, working as a team. Much."
"Not since the early days after your unmaking."
"That long? Really?" Although it made sense. After those first few weeks, Orlando'd started pulling away from Karl and Harry, determined to prove to both of them that he was strong enough to recover on his own, that he could stand on his own two feet without them propping him up. Maybe that really had been the start of it. "I guess it just got to be a habit," he said aloud. "I wanted so badly to prove to you and Karl that I could do this on my own that I stopped...talking to either of you."
"And we stopped asking," Harry affirmed. "Neither of us wanted to undermine you, and I know, for my part, I was afraid to overwhelm you with the bond, so I held back."
Orlando sighed, toying with the damp hairs on Harry's nape. "I'm beginning to think this entire unmaking was a big mistake."
"I thought that myself in the beginning," Harry admitted, "but ultimately, I think you were right to do it. We didn't have any time for us to just be with our bond, and barely any time for you to cement your bond with Karl before it all changed. We were all guilty of acting with too much haste."
"Love, that's the story of my life." Orlando smiled, pleased when Harry chuckled. "But I've been trying to do better."
"I know. I've been watching you. Even when you think I've been ignoring you." He framed Orlando's face with gentle hands and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "But we have the time now, and we can relearn each other and grow into the bond. I think we've both changed over the last two years."
Orlando nodded, noting the strong features and the warmth in Harry's eyes. "Be honest with me. Do you think it would be a mistake for me to ask for the Gift again? Not right now, but...eventually."
"I don't know." To Harry's credit, he held Orlando's gaze. "I know taking this step backwards has to be hard for you after having the fangs for so long, but I also think that you need to be just a pet for awhile, and Karl and I need that as well. But forever's a very long time. I just don't want you feeling like you have to prove something to me in order for me to give you the Gift. It's never been a matter of you being worthy of it."
"Except I wasn't." Orlando put a hand over the scar on Harry's chest. The words, to his surprise, came pretty easy. "I wasn't worthy or ready for it. It took me a long time to realize that, and as much as I do want the Gift again, I meant it when I told you I didn't want it to come between us."
Harry put his hand over Orlando's, squeezed gently. "I appreciate it. And, at the end of the day, it's your question to ask. When you think you're ready, we'll talk. And I promise, when that day comes, I won't evade the issue."
"I feel like I've disappointed people."
"Why?"
"Because." Orlando exhaled slowly, then slumped. "The whole point was to correct the mistake we made in the beginning, and now I've withdrawn the request and I've just been compounding the mistakes. Running away, shutting you and Karl out, I don't...this isn't just about me."
Harry didn't argue with him. Orlando couldn't say he was surprised. Harry simply looked at him patiently and slid his hands along Orlando's shoulders. "Alright," he said after a moment. "Tell me what you're thinking."
"This is about us," Orlando said as he looked down to where his hand still covered that scar. "I can't be the only one ready. What if I am and you're not? You promise you won't evade the issue, and I believe that. But that doesn't mean we won't end up going in the same circles. I won't go through that again. I'd rather remain mortal and be just a pet for the rest of my life that do that to us again."
"Orlando, I promise you, if you open yourself to making this bond work between us, if you open yourself up to myself and Karl and we learn to communicate with each other as equals, you'll know when you're ready, because you know I'll be ready."
"Oh." Orlando's brows came together. Was it really that simple? Maybe this is what Sean had been trying to tell him - being equal had nothing to do with going alpha or anything like that. "I guess I've been focusing on the wrong aspect all this time."
"More than anything else, being an equal is about listening and being in tune with your partner," Harry replied, quietly. "It's something that took Karl and I decades to figure out. And I'm not saying that it'll take us as long or that the road will be as bumpy for us as it was for me and Karl - at least, I hope it won't," he smiled, "but it starts with letting go. Both of us letting go.
"And," he added, with another soft kiss, "you're not just a pet right now. It's past time you realize just how rare and wonderful you are without worrying about what you're not."
"Rare and wonderful," Orlando said, with a weak laugh. "That's one way of putting it. I mean, look at me. The only pet to ever be bonded to two vampires, the only mortal to hold any Council related position...I don't mind. I've gotten used to it over the years."
He slid his hands down Harry's arms and caught his hands, giving a gentle squeeze. "I don't care about all that, okay? I care about you and Karl and making you proud of me."
"We've always been proud of you."
"I know. But I want to earn it. I'm an infant compared to the two of you, and there's so much I don't know, so much I didn't learn...I want to learn it all now. From you, and from Karl. And I thought..."
"Go on," Harry said after a moment. "You thought what?"
"I want you to teach me how to ride."
"Alright. But we're going to have to get out of the shower and get dressed first."
Orlando made a face. "Are you winding me up?"
"No, just stating a fact," Harry replied, cheerfully. "You know I'm happy to teach you anything you'd like to know."
"Well, I want to. Learn, I mean. I don't know why I didn't learn when I was a vampire and it wouldn't matter if I got injured, and anyway, I'm tired of letting fear of injury stop me. I didn't let it stop me when I was mortal the first time."
"Which is exactly the right attitude to have," Harry replied, bringing Orlando's hands to his lips to place a kiss to each one. "Besides, what you keep forgetting is that you do still have heightened healing. You're not as weak or defenseless as a normal mortal would be."
"I know, but I'm not as strong as I was before, either," Orlando pointed out. He reached around Harry to turn off the water, then looked up at him. "I just...I used to jump out of planes and off cliffs, and I think I lost that person when I put on the suit and tie."
"Then perhaps it's time to ditch the suit and tie and the attitude that goes with it." Harry stepped out of the shower and grabbed two towels, passing one to Orlando before he started to dry himself.
"I'm Viggo's assistant."
"I know," Harry said, clearly amused, but Orlando wasn't sure why. "I take it you haven't paid close attention to the way most of the building shows up for work. You only need to wear the suit and tie for actual meetings."
"I...fuck." Orlando stood there and stared at Harry as he dripped water onto the floor. He'd been so caught up in doing his job and not making any mistakes, but thinking back, he realized that he'd seen people in the halls in jeans and flip flops, looking like they'd just rolled in from the beach. "Well fuck."
Harry chuckled. "I'd say that sums it up. Now dry off, and we'll see about finding that man again. I think we'll go down Mulholland."
"To start? But, that's..."
"You'll be fine. Unless you don't think you're up for it..."
Well, when Harry put it like that, it wasn't exactly like Orlando could refuse. Still, Mulholland. With all of those hairpin curves. "Fuck it," he said aloud. "But if anything happens to me, you know you'll have to answer to Karl."
"Nothing's going to happen to you."
***
Over an hour and four wipeouts later, Orlando was pretty damn thankful that Harry had made him wear full leathers in addition to his helmet. He was never going to get the hang of leaning into each turn instead of trying to pull the bike upright. Harry'd kept trying to explain centrifugal force and how it worked and why it was important, but it was all mumbo jumbo science when he'd been faced with the reality of being that close to asphalt. Although he kept kissing it anyway, so it's not like it mattered.
"Maybe this wasn't such a great idea," he said, tearing off his helmet in frustration as Harry picked the bike up and set it back on its kickstand. There were all kinds of scratches and dents along the sides and piping now.
"You need to trust your instincts more instead of fighting against them," Harry said. The wind blowing in from the hills ruffled his hair. Unlike Orlando, he was in a pair of faded-to-hell jeans and a navy tee that probably should have been thrown out about a decade ago. It was practically transparent. Also, unlike Orlando, Harry looked completely relaxed.
"My instincts are telling me that my knee scraping pavement isn't a good idea."
"Well, you're right about that part, but your knee does need to be close to the pavement. You've been on the back of a bike enough times to know how it feels when you're in a turn."
"Yeah, but I'm not trying to change gears with my hands at the same time when I'm on the back of the bike. I'm just...enjoying the ride."
"You're overthinking it," Harry said, with a wide grin. Orlando didn't see what was so funny. "You figured out how to change gears in the first fifteen minutes."
"Yeah, and then you added that to it," Orlando said, gesturing towards the curve that he'd just wiped out on. Again.
"You can do this." He sounded so patient, so calm, that Orlando almost believed him. "Just relax, trust your instincts, and let go."
"You make it sound so easy," Orlando grumbled, giving the bike a dirty look as he climbed back on it and took his helmet from Harry.
//It is easy. You know how to move with the bike already. Just let it happen.//
Let it happen. Right. Orlando relaxed his shoulders as the bike idled beneath him, and closed his eyes. Harry believed in him, believed he could do this, or he would have never suggested doing it. One thing he'd definitely learned over the years was that Harry might love to challenge him, but he'd never, not once, ever given Orlando a task that he didn't feel Orlando could do. This was no different.
When he opened his eyes, he saw Harry flash him a thumbs up sign. //You can do this.//
//I can do this// Orlando repeated, and finally put the bike in gear. He headed back up the hill, taking it nice and easy, senses attuned to the wind blowing around him, the night sky overhead, the houses dotting the hills beyond the cliff beside him, the road beneath his feet. He was still breathing steady and slow when he reached the top of the hill and turned around, thankful it was late enough that there wasn't a lot of traffic, and started back down the hill, feet and hands working in concert to kick the bike into a higher gear. The turn rushed at him, but he forced himself to relax his grip on the handlebars, and lean with the bike, trusting in the mumbo jumbo science and the bond gently pulsing with encouragement and love.
He was through the turn almost before he even registered he'd made it, and on top of the next one, taking it with an ease that would have shocked him if he hadn't been concentrating so hard on hugging the curves and downshifting. A warm glow filled him and he wasn't sure if it was from himself or from Harry. Either way, he didn't care. He'd done it. //I did it!//
//Congratulations.//
He was laughing when he finally stopped and pulled off his helmet, letting the breeze tug strands of damp hair from his face.
//Ready for something a little more challenging?//
Orlando looked back up the hill, just able to make out Harry, still standing by the roadside. More challenging than Mulholland at night on a friggin' motorcycle? //What'd you have in mind?//
//Come back up here, pick me up, and do it again.//
Do it... With Harry on the back of the bike? Orlando wondered if he'd forgotten how to breathe. He felt a little lightheaded, then realized it was giddiness. Harry trusted him enough to ride with him? Orlando's next laugh had an edge to it, and he wiped his face with one hand before tugging the helmet on again.
//Alright, love, but if we wreck, you get to explain it to Karl.//
//We're not going to wreck.//
Again, the confidence in him was humbling. But also, in a very real way, freeing. Harry still trusted him, even after everything that had happened in the last couple of years. Somehow, it made it easier to trust himself.
When he stopped the bike, Harry just favored him with one of those heart-stopping grins, and climbed on the back of the bike. "Bottom of the hill to Cahuenga, then back up," Harry said. "Think you can do it?"
//Sure, why not?// He didn't bother to ask Harry to put on a helmet - Harry didn't need to, first off, and it was another sign of trust in him that Harry'd gone without. He wasn't going to question it.
The weight distribution with someone else took a minute of getting used to, but Orlando took the climb to the top of the hill to relax into it, to figure out how to move and guide Harry to move with him. It was a little like dancing or sex, when it came right down to it. And sex with Harry was something he had gotten really good at over the last twelve years.
When they reached the top and turned around, Orlando paused for a moment. Then he revved the engine. //Ready?//
//Just waiting for you// came Harry's amused reply.
So Orlando grinned, gave the bike some more gas, and let go. He went faster this time, wishing he had the helmet off, and the first turn was upon them before he had a chance to do more than take a few breaths.
He could feel Harry's joy and trust and love, and it was still overwhelming as hell, but Orlando reveled in it. He wanted to wallow in that feeling for the rest of his life. //Love you.//
//Love you, too.// Harry's arms tightened briefly around his waist. //Faster.//
Faster? Orlando just stopped himself from looking over his shoulder. Faster. Harry was out of his fucking mind. What was even worse was that Orlando had to be out of his, too. He laughed, then screamed inside the helmet as he gave the bike even more gas, the next turn approaching almost too fast to comprehend.
By the time they were at the light at the Cahuenga Pass, Orlando was pretty damn sure that Harry was possibly a worse influence on him than Karl. "I can't believe we made it," he said aloud, pulling off his helmet and looking up at the twisting turns in awe. He'd taken those turns. On a bike. With Harry riding bitch, trusting him to get them down in one piece.
"I had every faith in you."
"If this is your idea of a first lesson, I can't wait to see what the second one's like." Probably Coldwater Canyon blindfolded or something equally ridiculous.
"You've gotten the worst of your fear out of the way and learned to trust both the machine and your control of it. The rest is superfluous."
Funny how Harry's words could be applied to so many other things, not just the bike. Trust his control, trust himself, and don't be afraid to take the curves at 80. Orlando leaned back against Harry. "Is that what you want from me?"
"It's a start," Harry said, bending to briefly nuzzle Orlando neck. "Somewhere along the way, you stopped trusting us, but what's worse is that you stopped trusting yourself."
"I changed," Orlando quietly said, knowing Harry could hear him. His eyes followed the traffic on the 101. "I didn't want to lose what I had, even though I didn't think I deserved it."
"And now?" Harry asked, just as quietly.
"You and Karl wouldn't have chosen me if I didn't deserve it," Orlando replied, and finally allowed himself to believe it. "So what now?"
"Now we re-learn how to be partners and equals. Which won't be as easy as this was," Harry added, gesturing at the road. "No doubt we'll backslide and get stuck and have to keep pushing each other to move in the right direction."
"It'll be worth it," Orlando stated, and let the truth of it settle within himself. It would be worth it, if he could gain back that part of himself that he'd lost along the way. "Especially now that I know I won't lose you and Karl."
"You were never in any danger of losing either of us," Harry told him, wrapping an arm around his waist and pressing his chest against Orlando's back. "I know Josh and Monica threw you for a loop, but neither of us ever meant to make you feel unloved or unwanted or unworthy."
"I adore Monica. And Josh is cool," Orlando said, ignoring Harry's snort of laughter. He wasn't going to dignify that with a response, not so soon after Sean's comment about him and Josh cuddling like limpets. Whatever. Like cuddling was a bad thing. Besides, Josh was really good at it. "And I never felt unloved. The one thing I have never doubted is that the two of you love me. I just...I dunno, sometimes it felt like you realized you might be better off without me. Like I was a hassle neither of you needed."
"You have been a hassle at times. But never one we didn't need. Even when you frustrated the hell out of me, I need you to push me as much as you need me to push you. We've both been a little too complacent with the status quo."
"I can push. I've been told I'm pretty good at it."
"You are exceptional at it."
"Well, I hate to brag, but..." When their laughter subsided, Orlando turned his face to press a kiss to the underside of Harry's jaw. "I guess I just need to know if I'm making the right choices. I mean, I don't mind fucking up, but maybe a little direction would be nice. I know it's important to you that I figure things out on my own, but..."
"Now you feel like you can't come to either of us with your concerns," Harry finished. "And I'm sorry for that. That certainly wasn't our intent."
"I know that now. Well, I mean, maybe I always sort of knew it, but now I believe it." It was surprising to find out he really did. "I guess it just took awhile for me to realize that just because I didn't have the same history or shorthand with you two that you both have with each other doesn't mean that I don't have anything to offer."
"That will come with time. It's not like Karl and I started out simpatico with each other. Far from it."
"But that's just it. I still don't really know that much about your past," Orlando said, warming to his topic. "I mean, sure, bits and pieces, but it's like pulling teeth to get you guys to talk about anything, especially you."
"I apologize for that," Harry said, and Orlando could hear the wry smile in his voice. "I don't like -"
"I know, you don't like to brag," Orlando interrupted. He made a face. "But it's not bragging, love. I trust that you wouldn't exaggerate things. So it really could be like a history lesson."
"If you're interested in history, you could always ask Gerard," Harry teased, not even flinching when Orlando elbowed him.
"You're not funny. Besides, Karl is going to teach me vampire history," Orlando said, sounding so haughty, even to himself, that he was surprised Harry didn't burst out laughing. "I want to know about the battles and travelling the world and everything that you saw and did. Do you realize that I know how you met Monica, but you never talk about Lauren's mother?"
Harry stilled behind him, and for a moment, Orlando thought he'd pushed too far, too fast and touched a nerve, but then Harry relaxed and placed a soft kiss to his nape. "Come on, let's walk for a minute," he said, and got off the bike.
Orlando set the bike on its kickstand and took Harry's hand, allowing Harry to lead him away from the road and into the sparsely wooded area beside it. He could still see Cahuenga and headlights of the cars on the 101 beyond the trees, but the traffic sounds were muffled. "I won't apologize for asking about her, but if you're not ready to talk..."
"It's fine," Harry said, and squeezed his hand. "It's natural that you would be curious about Diane. I met her in Martinique, just after the battle. She was a missionary there, and when we came to shore for supplies, we met. It was...she had a quiet strength about her that I admired."
"Martinique?" Orlando did a quick bit of mental calculation from what he knew of Lauren's age when she died. "So this was...the late 1700's then? The first or second battle?"
Even in the dim light, Orlando could see that Harry looked impressed. "The second," Harry replied, raising Orlando's hand and brush a light kiss across his knuckles. "I see you do know a little history."
"Just the naval battles," Orlando said, with a shrug. "I had a teacher who drummed the dates into our heads. The sea parts were the only bits that stuck with me."
Harry laughed and pulled Orlando close, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Then you'll be able to follow some of it. I was on the Intrepid," Harry said, guiding Orlando across the ground with ease, "and we needed to take on a few supplies for minor repairs on the way back to St. Lucia, where we were based."
"Was Karl on the Intrepid with you?" Orlando asked, aware that the two of them had often worked in different areas of battle, especially when working under different commanding officers. "Or was he on one of the other ships?"
The hesitation was so slight that Orlando might have missed it if he hadn't been paying such close attention. "No, he was...in Morocco with Liv at the time."
In Morocco with Liv? Orlando opened his mouth to ask why, then abruptly closed it. A few of the pieces of Harry's reluctance to talk about Diane were starting to fall into place. He wondered if maybe Karl being in Morocco with Liv had anything to do with Joaquin, and if so, that would explain a lot. "I see," he finally said aloud. "So you were, what, starved for affection?"
He knew he'd achieved the right blend of cheekiness and curiosity when Harry simply chuckled. "It wasn't quite like that, no. But not having Karl around did mean that I wasn't as distracted as I might have been."
"What you really mean is, Karl wasn't around to suck up all of the oxygen in the room and all of your attention to go with it," Orlando grinned.
"Cheeky child," but Harry was still smiling, so Orlando figured it was alright. "At any rate, I wound up staying with her until spring when I finally persuaded her to come with me back to England where she would be safe. I wound up missing the rest of the war, but I was still able to advise when needed. And Viggo was just as happy that I was staying put and settling down for awhile, as he put it."
"Never in one place for very long?"
"Not usually, no," Harry admitted. "Karl would say that I was a free spirit. Viggo, on the other hand, would tell you that I was itchy. I think it was more that I'd been in so many battles by that point that I wasn't truly comfortable staying still."
"And Diane changed that?" If they could just avoid bumping up against the subject of Joaquin, Orlando thought (even though Harry didn't know that Orlando knew anything at all about Joaquin), maybe he could keep Harry talking.
"For a while. She wasn't frail, but she was hardly the warrior that Gina, and Salma, were and still are."
"Salma?" Startled, Orlando stopped in his tracks and stared at Harry. Salma? His Salma, the one who'd spent countless hours teasing him over the headset about video games? Then Orlando shook his head. Best to file that away for later, or else they'd get sidetracked and he'd never learn about Diane. "No, no, continue, please."
"As I was saying, she was far from frail, but she was delicate. She had no business traipsing around the world following me, so I settled down."
"How long before Lauren came along?"
"We had six years together before Lauren was conceived," and, in Harry's voice, Orlando thought maybe he heard an echo of old grief. He remembered Harry and Karl both telling him about Lauren's birth and how Diane had barely lived long enough to hold her daughter and to make Harry promise he'd never allow Lauren to take the Gift.
"I'm sorry," he said, stopping long enough to wrap Harry in a tight hug. "You must have loved her very much."
"She was unlike any lover I've had before or since. Although you have the same quiet strength she did, and the same stubbornness," Harry added. "Thankfully, Lauren inherited both of those traits from her mother as well."
"I'm pretty sure she got the stubbornness from you," Orlando replied, placing a hand over Harry's heart. "What did she look like? Diane, I mean."
"Karl's shown you pictures of Lauren, yes?" When Orlando nodded, Harry continued, "She looked just like her mother. Only Diane was...delicate, as I said. Slender. Barely came to my shoulder."
"Doesn't sound like your type," Orlando mused, thinking of Karl's towering physique and presence, and of Monica, with her va-va-voom curves and statuesque build.
"Like I said, she was unlike any other lover I've had," Harry replied. "But she...let's just say, in a very real way, she was exactly what I needed at the time. And I like to think I made her happy. We only had a few, short years, but they were good ones."
"I'm sure you made her very happy," Orlando said, quietly, and wrapped his arms around Harry once more. He filled their bond with as much love and warmth as he could, knowing he'd succeeded when Harry hugged him hard. "Will you..."
He trailed off, unsure how to ask if Harry could show him. Sure, Harry had done it in regards to his bond with Karl and his feelings for Monica, but Diane had been mortal. Orlando didn't even know if it was possible.
"Will I what?" Harry urged, his voice gentle.
"Can you show me? Like you did for Monica? Is...is that possible?"
"Not exactly. It's different with mortals. The bond with companions is fleeting, meant only to last a handful of years, at best," Harry explained. "But I could share my memories of her."
"Wait, really?" He didn't know that was even a possibility.
"They'll be more impressions than anything else, but yes."
"Huh." Orlando didn't need much time to think about it, though. He just lifted his head and gave Harry an encouraging look. "Would you? I mean, share that with me?"
"Close your eyes and concentrate on what I'm giving you through our bond," Harry said, and Orlando did so, letting his head fall on Harry's shoulder as he relaxed and followed the path Harry'd laid out for him.
Harry was right, he realized after a moment - it was like looking at a painting by Pissarro or Renoir, muted and blurred around the edges, but incredibly beautiful all the same. He caught snatches of a bright, lilting laugh, of soft hands and a softer voice that belied the steel underneath, of a quick mind and quicker wit, and underlying it all was an innate sense of calmness and peace that seemed to radiate through everything else. No wonder Harry'd been so smitten, he thought. He was enchanted, and she'd died centuries before he'd even been born.
When it faded, Orlando lifted his head and wiped his cheeks. "Thank you," he whispered, throat working at the strength of the memories.
"No, little one," Harry said, and Orlando lifted his head in shock to find tears in Harry's eyes. "Thank you for letting me remember."
Orlando burrowed into Harry's embrace, holding tight, trying to give Harry whatever it was he needed. As they stood there in silence, Orlando put together everything he knew of Karl, Monica, Diane...and himself. In doing so, he realized - or thought he did - that he didn't have to change a thing about himself to keep Harry.
Intelligence, a quick wit, grace, beauty, compassion and warmth, and a quiet strength that could defeat any obstacle - all things that he had in spades if he believed what everyone around him said. As the realization came to him, he started to laugh softly.
"What's so funny?"
"Just..." Orlando hiccupped with giggles, then shrugged. "I think I just figured it all out."
"Figured what all out?"
"Why you fell in love with me. I couldn't really see it before," Orlando admitted, leaning in to give Harry a smiling kiss. "It was just hard for me to look past Karl and Monica and how different I am from them."
"But you're not," Harry replied, brushing the top of Orlando's cheeks with the tips of his fingers. "Not really."
"I know. Like I said, I get it now. Quiet strength," he said, and let some of that newfound knowledge and peace flow through their bond. "I don't have to be all alpha or in your face or challenge you to blindfolded duels or whatever else. I can just...be me."
"And that is all I've ever wanted. But, if you ever feel the need to challenge someone to a blindfolded duel, go to Karl. He has a knack for them."
Orlando blinked, then broke out into giggles. "I promise, no duels. Blindfolded or otherwise." He looked up, lifting one hand to trace the curve of Harry's jaw. "And I know that I don't have to be an alpha or anything, but...I'd kinda like to work on that. In the bedroom, I mean. With Dom...it was...I liked it. I mean, it's not something I want all the time, because I think it would be pretty damn exhausting, but every once in a while? Yeah, I would."
"Well, whenever you feel the urge to practice, I'm right here, and so is Karl. Unless, of course, you prefer practicing with Dom."
Orlando resisted the urge to stick out his tongue. "You're a real comedian, you know that."
"I leave that to Karl," Harry replied, and looped an arm around Orlando's shoulders as they headed back towards the bike. "But you do know that you don't have to worry if you did want to practice with Dom. Or anyone else."
"I know." Orlando wrapped his arm around Harry's waist, reveled in the easy closeness. "But I think I might stick to practicing with just you and Karl for awhile."
"That's your choice. Although at some point, when you're ready, you know Karl and I are still interested in seeing you with a woman."
"I, uh, think I'd like a little more practice. With women," Orlando said, hoping the dark hid his face.
"Practice all you like," Harry said, and he was smiling when Orlando looked up. They stopped at the bike, and Harry framed Orlando's face with his hands. "But know that we don't care how experienced you are with them. You'll be beautiful either way, and we want to share in that with you."
Orlando's lips curved in a smile. "How is it that you always know exactly what to say?"
"Because I know you." Then he kissed Orlando, soft and slow, and the light, easy caress made Orlando's toes curl. Then he pressed the helmet into Orlando's hands. "Now, why don't you take us home, and maybe we can start on that meditation you wanted to learn."
"Yeah?" Orlando couldn't help the pleased smile. "You remembered."
"Of course I did." Harry gently placed the helmet on Orlando's head and worked the strap through the loops. "You still interested?"
Orlando nodded eagerly, then swung a leg over the bike, starting it with a throaty rumble. He felt Harry take the seat behind him and wrap strong arms around his waist, and yeah, this was good. This was better than good. He owed Sean and Gerard and Josh big-time for this, he thought, as he started the easy climb back up the hill. Maybe, later on, he'd ask Harry for his advice on what to get them to show his thanks.
***