Six Months
Title: Six Months
Rating: PG (Character death)
Characters: Exo - mainly Kris and Luhan
Genre: Angst, Sad, I guess theres a touch of romance - Krishan
Length: ~1500 wds
Description: Luhan doesn't have much time left, but he doesn't want to worry anyone so keeps it too himself. One person can see through the fake smiles though.
For this prompt on exopromptmeme and because I had a need for attempting to write angst. Sorry for the sucky ending.
6 months. Its nothing really, and yet its everything. 6 months makes the difference.
"Its all I can give you I'm afraid Mr Lu. I suggest you start to get your things in order. Do you need me to inform anyone?"
"N-no. Thankyou doctor. I don't want anyone to know just yet."
"Ok son, I'm sorry, I truly wish there was more we could do for you."
"Its fine doctor, you've done all you can. Thankyou." Luhan stands up and bows respectfully before leaving.
He walks aimlessly, uncaring that the saesangs might find him. Its impossible, there's no way he has just six months left, Exo are flying high, their comeback was incredible and they can't wait for their next one already.
Luhan wipes uselessly at the tears he didn't realise were falling and hiccups as he realises. He wont be around for their next comeback.
It takes him an hour to collect himself before he returns to the dorms. He pulls his hood up and covers his face as much as he can. The others are just setting the table for dinner as he arrives. There's no way he can sit and eat with them so just excuses himself with the excuse of being tired.
He doesn't notice the worried eyes that follow him. He sits on his bed and cries silently, contemplating what he should do.
"Hey guys, have you noticed Luhan recently?"
"He's quieter, I suppose, but the fans have been especially creepy with him lately. I'm sure he's fine."
Chanyeol grins from the sofa, "Maybe we should try to cheer him up?"
They all try their hardest, making jokes, hugging Luhan and tickling him till he laughs (which makes the fans shout even louder). They make his favourite foods, offer him first showers...they do everything they can think of, and the smiles are worth it.
One person however, sees through the forced smiles. He sees the sadness and it worries him.
Luhan sits on his bed while the others are out. He'd cried off sick for the day, and surprisingly they'd believed him. He didn't think he could sit through another interview without breaking down.
He's tempted to just quit, but that would be unfair on the others, they shouldn't have to live with this burden. Its better if he fights on and keeps it quiet.
Some days though, it all seems so unfair. Why give him such an opportunity, let him find such a wonderful group of friends just to cruelly snatch it all away.
Luhan buries his face on his bent knees and cries. He cries for himself, but he cries too for his friends and family, and for those fans who will be so upset.
He shouts and cries and throws things around, realising its finally hit him.
"I'm going to miss them so much. Why me?"
He collapses to his knees in the middle of the destroyed bedroom and cries until there are no tears left. He then gets up and sets about tidying the place up.
The watching eyes close in pain, their owner crouched against the wall, hand tight over his mouth as he cries in shock, not wanting Luhan to know he knows. How could he keep this to himself? He drags himself to the bathroom and cries silently, wishing he'd had the nerve to confess before all their time had suddenly been stolen away.
Luhan straightens his clothes and wipes his face and leaves his room in search of food. He isn't really hungry, but he hasn't eaten in 24 hours and he knows he should. Even just so he can take his medication.
He potters around the kitchen, slowly fixing some noodles when he feels the presence of someone else in the room. He spins to find Kris in the door. His eyes look a little red, but otherwise he looks fine.
"The others were worried, so I said I'd come back to check on you. Are you feeling better?" He coughs a little, the awkwardness making Luhan narrow his eyes.
"How long have you been back?"
Kris feigns surprise. "Oh, just a minute or two. I dropped some things in my room first. Why?"
"Nothing. I'm feeling a bit better now, thankyou. Do you want some noodles?"
Kris hesitates, about to say no, but decides what the hell. "Yeah, sure. If there's extra."
Luhan smiles - it seems not as forced and dishes up the food. They sit and eat quietly, neither willing to break the comfortable silence.
Three months later and by now everyone has figured something is up. Luhan's tears of gratitude on stage are clear to see, and he bows deeply every time, to everyone. His smiles are less and the bags under his eyes are more pronounced. Kris has taken to pulling Luhan over to lie with his head in his lap whenever they're watching movies, combing fingers through his hair, or holding his hand when they're waiting backstage. He sits next to Luhan in the van and lets the blonde sleep on his shoulder, and seems overall very protective.
Curious glances are shared and it's when they're all watching a movie and Luhan suddenly bolts to the bathroom (to be sick) when they confront the tall man.
He refuses to explain, saying it's not his place to say. He's in the middle of trying to calm everyone down when Luhan returns, pushing a smile onto his face and making a comment about bad food at lunch.
He frowns at everyone looking shocked at him and watches as Kris stands up and walks over. He is lead back to the bathroom and sat on the lid of the toilet before Kris leans forward and presses a bundle of tissue to his nose. Its only then that he realises it was bleeding.
He tries to make a joke but Kris' serious face shuts him up halfway through.
"Lu, I can't pretend not to know anymore. I can't sit and watch you pretend like everythings fine when I know its not. I can't sit and watch the man I l-love, act like...." He takes a deep breath and holds Luhan's hand. He looks up into Luhan's wide eyes. "You need to be honest with them."
"How long have you known?"
"I overheard you, a while ago, a few months. I don't know specifics. I've been trying to pretend like everythings fine because it seemed like thats what you wanted, but the others are worried."
Tears fall from Luhan's eyes and Kris pulls him into a hug.
"Im so, so sorry Luhan, I wish there was something I could do."
"Stay with me? Don't leave me alone?" Kris nods and holds Luhan as the sobs take over, as he clings to Kris's tall frame.
They go to bed shortly after that, Kris trading rooms with the promise of an explanation soon. He spends the night with Luhan pressed into his chest, curling protectively around the sick man. He doesn't sleep a wink.
The next day and the two of them are cornered in the living room. Everyone is demanding to know whats going on. Kris squeezes Luhan's hand reassuringly.
"I'm dying."
Jongdae rolls his eyes thinking Luhan is kidding but seeing the looks on their faces, his grin drops. "You're joking with us, right?"
A small shake of Luhan's head is all it takes.
"The doctor said there was nothing they can do. He gave me six months....three months ago."
It takes a while to sink in, but they all end up in a mess on the floor, hugging and crying. They go through everything so quickly, denial, anger, despair....until the room is silent except for the odd sniffle.
Sehun sits up and wipes his eyes, taking a deep breath.
"Well, if we only have three months, we're going to make it the best three months ever."
And it is. Luhan can't keep up with the dances anymore, but he can sing, so they sit close together on stools for performances, refusing to dance if he can't join them.
The fans surprise Luhan with messages of support and love bringing tears to his eyes and giving him endless happy smiles as he bows his thanks.
He refuses to give up, even when he has just two weeks left and has to be helped or carried to radio interviews or shows. Exo pull together to make everything special for him, and through it all, Kris never leaves his side for a minute, holding his hand throughout.
He spends what should be his final week with his family, who fly over to stay with him. He fights on for as long as he can, spending most of his time with his family and Exo or alone with Kris.
Kris smiles sadly, hoping Luhan is finally at peace. He knows Exo will go on, mostly because Luhan made them promise. Those final months, despite the sadness and pain, he knows Luhan was happy. He had a chance to say goodbye properly. He kissed Kris goodbye and had told him to live well, to shine brightly for both of them. And he would.
xxClairexx