Fic: "The Heart of Everything" (Jack/Ianto) - 01/17
Title: The Heart of Everything
Author: Jedi Princess Clarrisani
Chapter: 01 of 17
Rating: PG-13 (M15+)
Pairing(s): Tosh/Owen, John/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, Jack/Ianto, referenced John/Jack
Series: Breathe Trilogy (Part Two)
Summary: It's been a year since Ianto left, and the team haven't been the same.
Disclaimer: Still don't own. I'm not allowed to play in that sandbox.
Warnings: Some Season Two spoilers, including Owen and Ianto's story from "Fragments", and some minor references to “Something Borrowed”. Also, some references to the Doctor Who Season Three episodes "Smith and Jones" and "Last of the Time Lords".
A/N: Sequel to " Leave You". Written for TWWC (Torchwood Australia Writing Challenge) #10. This story is AU as it is set after season two, but everyone is alive and healthy - in other words, I've tweaked the events of Season Two to my liking. For one, the Grey storyline has been completely dumped, and some events never occurred...
----------
PART ONE
Owen let out a heavy sigh, swinging the door of his flat closed behind him and dropping back against it. He rested there for a moment, muttering obscenities to himself under his breath before peeling off his jacket and stepping further inside, tossing the jacket over the back of a chair. He walked straight into the kitchen, opening the door and retrieving a beer. Opening it, he downed half of it in one go.
"That bad a day, huh?"
He snorted, lowering the bottle and turning, making a tiny distance between his thumb and forefinger. "I was this close to shooting the pair of them."
"Now you know why I wanted some time off." Tosh stepped further into the room, towelling her hair dry and dropping onto the couch. "If they're not at each other's throats, they're making everyone else's life hell."
"Tell me about it." Owen dropped down beside her, and with a little shuffling was positioned with his head in her lap, Tosh smoothing his forehead with light brushes of her fingertips. "I'm getting really tempted to try and hunt him down you know."
"So am I." Tosh frowned, gazing into the distance. "Ianto always seemed to know exactly what sort of mood we were in and could defuse any problem before it even started."
"I knew I should have asked how he did it." He opened his eyes, looking up at her. "Surprised they didn't ring you today when they couldn't get the system going."
"Oh, they did. I just didn't answer." Tosh shrugged, tugging lightly at his hair. She sighed, shaking her head. "I don't know, Owen. I remember when it was just us, Jack and Suzie, and we never had problems like this."
"Yeah, well Suzie knew when to keep her nose out of everyone's business," Owen pointed out. "Gwen has to shove hers in where it's not wanted and right now that's in Jack's business. And as for that bastard, he seriously needs to get over it."
"I think that, aside from his Doctor, Jack's never been dumped before."
"That's the impression that I get, yeah." He smiled at her. "Well, this year hasn't been all bad." He reached up, pushing back a stubborn strand of her hair. "This is working out all right, isn't it?"
Tosh nodded, smiling when Owen pushed himself up to kiss her. They exchanged a couple more quick kisses before Owen's phone rang, Owen giving her an 'I'm going to kill them' look before pulling the phone from his pocket.
"You have reached Owen Harper. Unfortunately he is rather busy right now, so can't come to the phone. Please leave a message and he'll decide whether or not to be bothered getting back to you."
Tosh slapped a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.
"Very funny, Owen." He rolled his eyes toward Tosh at the sound of Gwen's voice. "I was wondering if you've seen Jack since we got back from the Castle."
"No, and I really don't care. He's probably on some rooftop somewhere wondering what sort of imprint he could make in the concrete if he jumped." Owen scowled. "God I hope he does."
"He'd just come back to life again," Tosh reminded him.
Owen rolled his eyes.
"I'm being serious, Owen," Gwen said, voice tight. "He's been so depressed lately, so I want to-"
"Oh, leave him alone, Cooper." Owen scowled. "Look, he'll get over it in his own time. Hell, he probably would have been over it months ago if you didn't keep bringing it up all the time. He knows it's his fault Ianto walked out; he just needs to deal with it. What he doesn't need is some bossy, up-her-arse former PC trying to stick her nose in where it is least wanted. Now go home."
"She'll probably yell at you now," Tosh said softly, all the while trying to keep from laughing.
"Owen Harper, just because you're an insensitive jerk doesn't mean we all are. I happen to care about making sure that Jack is okay. He took Ianto leaving very hard, and the last thing he needs is to be alone in this."
"He doesn't need you to shag him, if that's what you mean."
"How dare you-"
"Go home, Gwen." Owen rolled his eyes at Tosh. "Both Tosh and I have had Rhys on the phone bitching about the fact you're never there, so go be with him. He needs you more than Jack. Go. Home." He hung up again before she could answer, Owen switching the phone off. "Better turn yours off too."
"Mines been off since around 10:30 this morning," she replied. "Gwen rang wanting to organise some sort of cheering up party for Jack. Then Jack rang to ask me to try and get Gwen to drop it. In the end I just switched off."
"I wish we could bloody switch them off."
She laughed. "I know what you mean."
They shifted until Tosh was straddling him, her head resting on Owen's chest as she lay against him, his arms around her. She sighed, closing her eyes as he brought one hand up to gently smooth her still damp hair.
"I wonder where he is," Tosh said softly.
"A long way from here, probably," Owen answered. "Took some serious balls for him to leave and stay away so long."
"He was in love with Jack, you know."
"Yeah, I know." Owen watched her. "I'm starting to think Jack was in love with him."
"So am I."
They lay in the silence for a long while before Tosh tilted her head, spotting Owen watching her. He smiled, one she was all too happy to return before pushing herself up to hover over him. She planted a soft kiss on his lips, Owen kissing her back before they deepened it. Owen's fingers moved to undo the sash keeping her robe closed as she tugged at his shirt, dragging it over his head.
Somewhere in the room Owen's landline began to ring. No one moved to answer.
***
Jack sighed, gazing out over the Cardiff night. The cool wind tugged at his hair, and had he been standing it would have caught his coat and tried to drag him off the edge. As it was he was sitting on the edge, on leg dangling into nothingness while the other kept him grounded onto the roof's surface.
It was a clear night, with a cold wind blowing up off the Bay. The lights from the city clashed with the lights from above, the moon just a thin slit in the far distance. His eyes drifted from star to star, at the back of his mind naming them and for each one he'd visited remembering what it had been like.
His eyes wandered downward, gazing out across the horizon. Somewhere below Owen and Tosh were probably asleep. Rhys was no doubt sitting around waiting for Gwen to finally come home, the woman probably still scouring the streets of Cardiff for him. She really didn't know how to take a hint, did Gwen. He'd told her on many occasions that he didn't need her help, but as always she couldn't take no for an answer.
He'd once heard Owen mention offhand to Tosh that now Jack was available, Gwen would probably make a play for him. Sure enough it hadn't even been a week before Gwen had been hitting on him in full earnest, Jack ignoring her when he could. He'd had to stop sleeping at the Hub just to avoid her. For a while he'd stayed with Owen, but then Tosh and Owen had started dating, so Jack had found somewhere else.
It probably wasn't healthy for him to live at Ianto's old place, but it was there and unoccupied so why waste it. Add the fact that Gwen had never actually found out where Ianto lived, and it meant he finally had a sanctuary away from her constant questioning and persistent need to think she had to look after him.
She meant well. She always did. It was just in her nature to want everyone to be okay and to take care of them when she thought something was wrong. The only problem was she didn't know when to quit. Owen and Tosh had tried to drop hints, but she had ignored them and instead taken it as a sign that she needed to take even more care of him.
He'd started having to switch his phone off. He'd upgraded it so that any alert from the Hub would still come through, therefore maintaining a level of security. There was also an override number - both Tosh and Owen had these numbers too, in case of emergency. They hadn't given the number to Gwen.
Things had been even harder lately with Tosh finally starting to crack under the pressure of everything, so they had arranged for her to take a couple of weeks off. He had expected her to go on holiday, but instead she remained in Cardiff so she could be near Owen. He was slightly jealous of their relationship, even if it had taken them so long to wake up and realise what they had under their noses.
He smirked, resting his head back against a pylon. He remembered how, sick of Gwen's flirting, he, Tosh and Owen had decided to mess with Gwen's head. Before Gwen had found out that Tosh and Owen were dating, they'd set things up to make Gwen think Jack and Tosh had something going. And just to mess with her further, he and Tosh had kissed rather passionately while Gwen was watching. Owen had later reported that the look on Gwen's face had been priceless.
Nevertheless, they had ended the game when Gwen had started accusing Tosh of moving in on Jack while he was vulnerable. Jack had tried to point out that he was never vulnerable, but that had ended in a rather interesting fight. In the end Jack had sent them all home, and that had been the very last night he'd ever slept in the Hub.
The wind picked up, almost knocking him back onto the roof and bringing him back out of his thoughts. He checked his watch, noting the late hour and sighing. It had been a long twelve months, that was sure. The cleanup from the Zarybok incident had gone without incident. He'd checked the hospital records and found that the little girl, Anya, had been claimed by her grandparents while the step siblings Jodie and Colin had returned to live with their aunt. Seemed no one else wanted them. That had to be hard.
The man, Grant, had signed himself out and continued on his way. From what Jack could tell Ianto had also signed himself out and gone with him. After that the trail went cold. Ianto was gifted at covering things up; it had been his job after all, so it wouldn't have been hard for him to disappear. Especially if he had money stored in a second account they didn't know about. Jack certainly hadn't been able to find it, and that didn't surprise him.
Jack closed his eyes, sighing heavily. One year, two months and eleven days since he'd watched Ianto walk away. Not that he was counting or anything. Since then everything had gone to shit. The first thing had definitely been the lack of coffee. None of them knew how to use the coffee machine, and after two weeks of failed efforts they'd bought a tin of instant and that had been that.
Next had been the clutter. They really hadn't noticed it building up at first, but the moment they'd started tripping over empty pizza boxes and the bottom of their coffee mugs had started to look like it could support plant life they knew they had a problem. In the end they had set up a sort of roster system, each taking equal turns at cleaning. Didn't stop Owen from complaining, however.
The next problem had been a little embarrassing. In the middle of chasing a car filled with aliens, the SUV had run out of fuel. Jack had forgotten that Ianto had been the one to keep an eye on that side of things, and had since taken it upon himself to keep the SUV in working order, if only to give the PD one less thing to tease them about. God they had never let them live that one down.
The Tourist Information Centre had been a problem as well. They had all taken that role for granted, Jack having to shut the branch with a 'on leave' sign that was finally starting to fade. Whenever they needed to collect mail or parcels, Gwen usually found herself landed with the job. And they made her take the stairs, stating that the elevator was too loud. Sometimes he swore gullible was a word created just for her.
They really had started taking Ianto for granted. Jack remembered vividly the way Ianto had practically begged for the job, stating he could be anything from guard dog, to receptionist, to butler. In a way he had become all those things and more, even if his original motivation had been to store a cyber conversion unit complete with cyberwoman in the basement.
Jack's eyes cracked open, staring out over the horizon. There was one other thing about Ianto that had been taken for granted. Jack had just become used to having him there. Ianto had been many things to him, from someone who listened when he needed someone to talk to, a supportive shoulder to cry on, someone he could exchange wit with, to someone who wasn't afraid to stand up to him.
Jack also just generally missed Ianto's company. When they were alone in the Hub and Ianto was standing working on something on his computer, Jack had liked to move up behind him and wrap his arms around him. Ianto had never jumped, almost as if he had known Jack was coming, and would continue to work. Sometimes they would stay like that for a long time until Ianto finished whatever it was he was doing or Jack was called away by either the phone or some other work related thing.
He still kicked himself for never taking the time out to take Ianto out. They'd ended up having that dinner and a movie, and the night had been great. But they hadn't gone out since, instead going to either Ianto's place or generally just lounging around the Hub. It wasn't the same, and Jack knew that probably had something to do with Ianto's departure.
He'd been planning it for a while, leaving. Ianto had told him so that night out near Caldicot. Without Lisa to keep him there, Ianto had stayed out of his own free will. Jack knew that those months leading up to it all had been hard, and losing his two best friends had been the straw that broke the camels back.
Jack had never told the others the truth about that day. All they saw was him firing a weapon to destroy the alien threat, killing a group of innocent civilians in the process. What they didn't know was those civilians had been infected with a virus that would have slowly destroyed humanity, and the minute Jack had realised he'd fired off the shot. When everything was said and done he'd gone looking for the three that had managed to escape and seen to their 'accidents', thus destroying the virus.
It had been bad enough doing that without the reaction of the others. Gwen was on his side, but the others had been against him. Everything had gone down hill from there, and that very moment Ianto had punched him and left him face down in the water at the base of the fountain he knew that things had gone from bad to worse.
It had taken all that afternoon, driving out to Caldicot and defeating the Zarybok for Jack to slowly realise that things were about to change for good. What he hadn't expected was the inner strength Ianto displayed, continuing to walk away despite that last kiss giving away the fact that wasn't what he really wanted to do. That was what had made Jack finally confess his feelings.
I don't believe you.
Jack swallowed hard, closing his eyes. Never had words stung like those ones had. Jack hadn't felt so helpless and alone in over a century, not since he had run into the control room of the Gamestation just in time to see the TARDIS fading away, leaving him behind.
He'd relived those words, Ianto's final words, many times over the year. He had tried to work out what it was that stopped Ianto from believing him, but knew that the only way he would ever find out was to ask Ianto himself which wasn't likely to happen for a long time, if ever.
Jack sighed heavily, swinging himself up over back onto the roof, straightening his coat and heading for the stairs. Dwelling on the past was only going to continue dragging him down. Right now he needed to head back to his... Ianto's place and see about trying to get some sleep.
He paused, gazing out over the horizon one last time. He just wished he knew if Ianto was okay.
* * *
TO PART TWO
Author: Jedi Princess Clarrisani
Chapter: 01 of 17
Rating: PG-13 (M15+)
Pairing(s): Tosh/Owen, John/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, Jack/Ianto, referenced John/Jack
Series: Breathe Trilogy (Part Two)
Summary: It's been a year since Ianto left, and the team haven't been the same.
Disclaimer: Still don't own. I'm not allowed to play in that sandbox.
Warnings: Some Season Two spoilers, including Owen and Ianto's story from "Fragments", and some minor references to “Something Borrowed”. Also, some references to the Doctor Who Season Three episodes "Smith and Jones" and "Last of the Time Lords".
A/N: Sequel to " Leave You". Written for TWWC (Torchwood Australia Writing Challenge) #10. This story is AU as it is set after season two, but everyone is alive and healthy - in other words, I've tweaked the events of Season Two to my liking. For one, the Grey storyline has been completely dumped, and some events never occurred...
----------
PART ONE
Owen let out a heavy sigh, swinging the door of his flat closed behind him and dropping back against it. He rested there for a moment, muttering obscenities to himself under his breath before peeling off his jacket and stepping further inside, tossing the jacket over the back of a chair. He walked straight into the kitchen, opening the door and retrieving a beer. Opening it, he downed half of it in one go.
"That bad a day, huh?"
He snorted, lowering the bottle and turning, making a tiny distance between his thumb and forefinger. "I was this close to shooting the pair of them."
"Now you know why I wanted some time off." Tosh stepped further into the room, towelling her hair dry and dropping onto the couch. "If they're not at each other's throats, they're making everyone else's life hell."
"Tell me about it." Owen dropped down beside her, and with a little shuffling was positioned with his head in her lap, Tosh smoothing his forehead with light brushes of her fingertips. "I'm getting really tempted to try and hunt him down you know."
"So am I." Tosh frowned, gazing into the distance. "Ianto always seemed to know exactly what sort of mood we were in and could defuse any problem before it even started."
"I knew I should have asked how he did it." He opened his eyes, looking up at her. "Surprised they didn't ring you today when they couldn't get the system going."
"Oh, they did. I just didn't answer." Tosh shrugged, tugging lightly at his hair. She sighed, shaking her head. "I don't know, Owen. I remember when it was just us, Jack and Suzie, and we never had problems like this."
"Yeah, well Suzie knew when to keep her nose out of everyone's business," Owen pointed out. "Gwen has to shove hers in where it's not wanted and right now that's in Jack's business. And as for that bastard, he seriously needs to get over it."
"I think that, aside from his Doctor, Jack's never been dumped before."
"That's the impression that I get, yeah." He smiled at her. "Well, this year hasn't been all bad." He reached up, pushing back a stubborn strand of her hair. "This is working out all right, isn't it?"
Tosh nodded, smiling when Owen pushed himself up to kiss her. They exchanged a couple more quick kisses before Owen's phone rang, Owen giving her an 'I'm going to kill them' look before pulling the phone from his pocket.
"You have reached Owen Harper. Unfortunately he is rather busy right now, so can't come to the phone. Please leave a message and he'll decide whether or not to be bothered getting back to you."
Tosh slapped a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.
"Very funny, Owen." He rolled his eyes toward Tosh at the sound of Gwen's voice. "I was wondering if you've seen Jack since we got back from the Castle."
"No, and I really don't care. He's probably on some rooftop somewhere wondering what sort of imprint he could make in the concrete if he jumped." Owen scowled. "God I hope he does."
"He'd just come back to life again," Tosh reminded him.
Owen rolled his eyes.
"I'm being serious, Owen," Gwen said, voice tight. "He's been so depressed lately, so I want to-"
"Oh, leave him alone, Cooper." Owen scowled. "Look, he'll get over it in his own time. Hell, he probably would have been over it months ago if you didn't keep bringing it up all the time. He knows it's his fault Ianto walked out; he just needs to deal with it. What he doesn't need is some bossy, up-her-arse former PC trying to stick her nose in where it is least wanted. Now go home."
"She'll probably yell at you now," Tosh said softly, all the while trying to keep from laughing.
"Owen Harper, just because you're an insensitive jerk doesn't mean we all are. I happen to care about making sure that Jack is okay. He took Ianto leaving very hard, and the last thing he needs is to be alone in this."
"He doesn't need you to shag him, if that's what you mean."
"How dare you-"
"Go home, Gwen." Owen rolled his eyes at Tosh. "Both Tosh and I have had Rhys on the phone bitching about the fact you're never there, so go be with him. He needs you more than Jack. Go. Home." He hung up again before she could answer, Owen switching the phone off. "Better turn yours off too."
"Mines been off since around 10:30 this morning," she replied. "Gwen rang wanting to organise some sort of cheering up party for Jack. Then Jack rang to ask me to try and get Gwen to drop it. In the end I just switched off."
"I wish we could bloody switch them off."
She laughed. "I know what you mean."
They shifted until Tosh was straddling him, her head resting on Owen's chest as she lay against him, his arms around her. She sighed, closing her eyes as he brought one hand up to gently smooth her still damp hair.
"I wonder where he is," Tosh said softly.
"A long way from here, probably," Owen answered. "Took some serious balls for him to leave and stay away so long."
"He was in love with Jack, you know."
"Yeah, I know." Owen watched her. "I'm starting to think Jack was in love with him."
"So am I."
They lay in the silence for a long while before Tosh tilted her head, spotting Owen watching her. He smiled, one she was all too happy to return before pushing herself up to hover over him. She planted a soft kiss on his lips, Owen kissing her back before they deepened it. Owen's fingers moved to undo the sash keeping her robe closed as she tugged at his shirt, dragging it over his head.
Somewhere in the room Owen's landline began to ring. No one moved to answer.
***
Jack sighed, gazing out over the Cardiff night. The cool wind tugged at his hair, and had he been standing it would have caught his coat and tried to drag him off the edge. As it was he was sitting on the edge, on leg dangling into nothingness while the other kept him grounded onto the roof's surface.
It was a clear night, with a cold wind blowing up off the Bay. The lights from the city clashed with the lights from above, the moon just a thin slit in the far distance. His eyes drifted from star to star, at the back of his mind naming them and for each one he'd visited remembering what it had been like.
His eyes wandered downward, gazing out across the horizon. Somewhere below Owen and Tosh were probably asleep. Rhys was no doubt sitting around waiting for Gwen to finally come home, the woman probably still scouring the streets of Cardiff for him. She really didn't know how to take a hint, did Gwen. He'd told her on many occasions that he didn't need her help, but as always she couldn't take no for an answer.
He'd once heard Owen mention offhand to Tosh that now Jack was available, Gwen would probably make a play for him. Sure enough it hadn't even been a week before Gwen had been hitting on him in full earnest, Jack ignoring her when he could. He'd had to stop sleeping at the Hub just to avoid her. For a while he'd stayed with Owen, but then Tosh and Owen had started dating, so Jack had found somewhere else.
It probably wasn't healthy for him to live at Ianto's old place, but it was there and unoccupied so why waste it. Add the fact that Gwen had never actually found out where Ianto lived, and it meant he finally had a sanctuary away from her constant questioning and persistent need to think she had to look after him.
She meant well. She always did. It was just in her nature to want everyone to be okay and to take care of them when she thought something was wrong. The only problem was she didn't know when to quit. Owen and Tosh had tried to drop hints, but she had ignored them and instead taken it as a sign that she needed to take even more care of him.
He'd started having to switch his phone off. He'd upgraded it so that any alert from the Hub would still come through, therefore maintaining a level of security. There was also an override number - both Tosh and Owen had these numbers too, in case of emergency. They hadn't given the number to Gwen.
Things had been even harder lately with Tosh finally starting to crack under the pressure of everything, so they had arranged for her to take a couple of weeks off. He had expected her to go on holiday, but instead she remained in Cardiff so she could be near Owen. He was slightly jealous of their relationship, even if it had taken them so long to wake up and realise what they had under their noses.
He smirked, resting his head back against a pylon. He remembered how, sick of Gwen's flirting, he, Tosh and Owen had decided to mess with Gwen's head. Before Gwen had found out that Tosh and Owen were dating, they'd set things up to make Gwen think Jack and Tosh had something going. And just to mess with her further, he and Tosh had kissed rather passionately while Gwen was watching. Owen had later reported that the look on Gwen's face had been priceless.
Nevertheless, they had ended the game when Gwen had started accusing Tosh of moving in on Jack while he was vulnerable. Jack had tried to point out that he was never vulnerable, but that had ended in a rather interesting fight. In the end Jack had sent them all home, and that had been the very last night he'd ever slept in the Hub.
The wind picked up, almost knocking him back onto the roof and bringing him back out of his thoughts. He checked his watch, noting the late hour and sighing. It had been a long twelve months, that was sure. The cleanup from the Zarybok incident had gone without incident. He'd checked the hospital records and found that the little girl, Anya, had been claimed by her grandparents while the step siblings Jodie and Colin had returned to live with their aunt. Seemed no one else wanted them. That had to be hard.
The man, Grant, had signed himself out and continued on his way. From what Jack could tell Ianto had also signed himself out and gone with him. After that the trail went cold. Ianto was gifted at covering things up; it had been his job after all, so it wouldn't have been hard for him to disappear. Especially if he had money stored in a second account they didn't know about. Jack certainly hadn't been able to find it, and that didn't surprise him.
Jack closed his eyes, sighing heavily. One year, two months and eleven days since he'd watched Ianto walk away. Not that he was counting or anything. Since then everything had gone to shit. The first thing had definitely been the lack of coffee. None of them knew how to use the coffee machine, and after two weeks of failed efforts they'd bought a tin of instant and that had been that.
Next had been the clutter. They really hadn't noticed it building up at first, but the moment they'd started tripping over empty pizza boxes and the bottom of their coffee mugs had started to look like it could support plant life they knew they had a problem. In the end they had set up a sort of roster system, each taking equal turns at cleaning. Didn't stop Owen from complaining, however.
The next problem had been a little embarrassing. In the middle of chasing a car filled with aliens, the SUV had run out of fuel. Jack had forgotten that Ianto had been the one to keep an eye on that side of things, and had since taken it upon himself to keep the SUV in working order, if only to give the PD one less thing to tease them about. God they had never let them live that one down.
The Tourist Information Centre had been a problem as well. They had all taken that role for granted, Jack having to shut the branch with a 'on leave' sign that was finally starting to fade. Whenever they needed to collect mail or parcels, Gwen usually found herself landed with the job. And they made her take the stairs, stating that the elevator was too loud. Sometimes he swore gullible was a word created just for her.
They really had started taking Ianto for granted. Jack remembered vividly the way Ianto had practically begged for the job, stating he could be anything from guard dog, to receptionist, to butler. In a way he had become all those things and more, even if his original motivation had been to store a cyber conversion unit complete with cyberwoman in the basement.
Jack's eyes cracked open, staring out over the horizon. There was one other thing about Ianto that had been taken for granted. Jack had just become used to having him there. Ianto had been many things to him, from someone who listened when he needed someone to talk to, a supportive shoulder to cry on, someone he could exchange wit with, to someone who wasn't afraid to stand up to him.
Jack also just generally missed Ianto's company. When they were alone in the Hub and Ianto was standing working on something on his computer, Jack had liked to move up behind him and wrap his arms around him. Ianto had never jumped, almost as if he had known Jack was coming, and would continue to work. Sometimes they would stay like that for a long time until Ianto finished whatever it was he was doing or Jack was called away by either the phone or some other work related thing.
He still kicked himself for never taking the time out to take Ianto out. They'd ended up having that dinner and a movie, and the night had been great. But they hadn't gone out since, instead going to either Ianto's place or generally just lounging around the Hub. It wasn't the same, and Jack knew that probably had something to do with Ianto's departure.
He'd been planning it for a while, leaving. Ianto had told him so that night out near Caldicot. Without Lisa to keep him there, Ianto had stayed out of his own free will. Jack knew that those months leading up to it all had been hard, and losing his two best friends had been the straw that broke the camels back.
Jack had never told the others the truth about that day. All they saw was him firing a weapon to destroy the alien threat, killing a group of innocent civilians in the process. What they didn't know was those civilians had been infected with a virus that would have slowly destroyed humanity, and the minute Jack had realised he'd fired off the shot. When everything was said and done he'd gone looking for the three that had managed to escape and seen to their 'accidents', thus destroying the virus.
It had been bad enough doing that without the reaction of the others. Gwen was on his side, but the others had been against him. Everything had gone down hill from there, and that very moment Ianto had punched him and left him face down in the water at the base of the fountain he knew that things had gone from bad to worse.
It had taken all that afternoon, driving out to Caldicot and defeating the Zarybok for Jack to slowly realise that things were about to change for good. What he hadn't expected was the inner strength Ianto displayed, continuing to walk away despite that last kiss giving away the fact that wasn't what he really wanted to do. That was what had made Jack finally confess his feelings.
I don't believe you.
Jack swallowed hard, closing his eyes. Never had words stung like those ones had. Jack hadn't felt so helpless and alone in over a century, not since he had run into the control room of the Gamestation just in time to see the TARDIS fading away, leaving him behind.
He'd relived those words, Ianto's final words, many times over the year. He had tried to work out what it was that stopped Ianto from believing him, but knew that the only way he would ever find out was to ask Ianto himself which wasn't likely to happen for a long time, if ever.
Jack sighed heavily, swinging himself up over back onto the roof, straightening his coat and heading for the stairs. Dwelling on the past was only going to continue dragging him down. Right now he needed to head back to his... Ianto's place and see about trying to get some sleep.
He paused, gazing out over the horizon one last time. He just wished he knew if Ianto was okay.
* * *
TO PART TWO