its been over two months.

[classic_ivory]

i have not updated in an extremely long time.  i have been thinking and thinking and thinking, throughout my demanding work scheduhle and all the time spent trying to escape the fact that i have a lot to say and no one to say it to, but ultimately i decided that im pulling out of my social life for no apparant reason. i feel more and more the need

Comments

[_t_h_a_t_]

You are not a slut. You did not screw the whole football team (metaphorically speaking, of course, because, you know, DA). You are not a crack whore. You are not a coke head. You are Christen Marie Therese Croley, like always.

People make choices. That's what happens. That's what life is.

I'm sorry. For watching from the sidelines. For disappearing. It doesn't need to mean anything and you don't have to accept it and you can send me a big, "F-you" along with the rest of them, but I've been thinking about you lately and how you didn't deserve half of what you got. And I am indeed sorry. Just so you know.

[classic_ivory]

you dont have to apologize. i appreciated the way you told me exactly what you thought, and how unbelievably kind you were to me throughout it all. i understand if you backed away from the intesnely aggrivating situation, but i wanted you to know that i always thought wonderful things about you, and even more so after everything happened, because you didnt judge or anything. you treated me just the same. and that meant a lot to me.

[xsuga_magnoliax]

i do have to apologize. i've wanted to talk to you for months. i've wanted to tell you that i was wrong and i know it. and i've wondered if it's worth it and i've wondered if you'd want to hear it because i'll be the first to tell you that i've said enough. i've been judgemental, i've been condescending, and i've been hypocritical. but at no point, not then, not now, did i ever hate you. i pushed you away. you were my friend - my fucking clone. and i pushed you away. i'm the reason we don't talk anymore. i'm the reason. i was wrong. on many levels for many things. and what's more, having done the things i've done between then and now, i can say, had i been you, i probably wouldn't have been any better. you are not a crack whore or a coke slut or any combination of the two or otherwise. but, no, i was not a good friend. not in the slightest. and i know i insighted a lot of hatred and hurt and resentment that was well deserved. i don't ask you to take that back and i don't need to be forgiven. i don't much deserve anything like that and

[classic_ivory]

its okay

[xsuga_magnoliax]

i would like that too because, you're right - there isn't time to be angry at anyone. i really am exhausted. and your conclusion regarding how i acted is exactly right -- but i haven't been able to justify it for myself or been able to convince myself that it was the lesser of two evils for a long time now. and i miss you. and.......that sounds like something that might be worth salvaging. definitely.

oh and incited* from the first message. im not a writer...

[classic_ivory]

haha. ive given up on being gramatically correct. it will never happen for me. but im glad weve been able to settle things. it makes me feel very relieved. i never realized how much it really affected me either. i think things are gonna be fine. in time. but eyy. we got awhile.

[anonymous]

Child boo: let’s cut the bullshit. There’s nobody to exclude your life. You already did that a long time ago. Wake up! Kirby talks shit about you like Kirby has a penis: always and still. If I could sing any song to you it would be Cake’s top sensation Shut the Fuck Up. Because, sweetie, you need to shut the fuck up. You are not only lackadaisical in your duties as a friend but you lied to every one of them (not to mention your mother and father.) I applaud the individuals who continue to put you in your place. If you want to be respected then you need to stop lying, stop creating a pity party for yourself, and give up your Planet-of-the-Apes-Napoleon-wannabe boyfriend. You deserve to be called a crack hoe when you are still dating the stupid bitch who tried to steal some lady’s purse-twice. Everyone was nice to you and completely frank; at times, sincere. You were uncaring and selfish and never showed one ounce of altruism, but rather acted shrewd to the people you claimed to care about. So take your livejournal post and Shut the

[classic_ivory]

i would just like to know why you read my live journal? if you think you are so much better than me..then why are you here? why do you care? we dont speak. i dont like you. you dont like me. thats the end of it. its kind of creepy that you are reading the post of someone you obviously cant stand

[_am0r]

yea...we expect that from garett some people will never change =] lol

im actually laughing that he took the time out of his life (if you wanna call it that) to write that- it only shows how much you affect him, awe get mad sweety ;]

and for you christen- you will ALWAYS be my best friend, through thick and thin,its obvious we cant change the past, but we can learn from it...i love you =]

[classic_ivory]

hah. you dont even have to be a bitch to prove just how ridiculous he really was in writing that. i love you too. im so glad that everyone [well almost] is over the whole thing. it really was starting to be a pain.

senior year...hopefully less stressful