The Key to Time: The Pirate Planet
Previous: The Key to Time Part 1: The Ribos Operation
Part 2: The Pirate Planet
We're less than a minute in and we've already established the Large Ham of this serial. This is going to be awesome.
And did I mention that this story was WRITTEN BY DOUGLAS ADAMS?
Apparently this city has a population of seven. Seriously, that is the emptiest town-square-like place I've ever seen.
So the TARDIS DOES have a mini-fridge!
"Listen, do you have any idea how long I've been operating this TARDIS?"
"523 years."
"That's......right."
So apparently Romana is winning approval with Four by landing the TARDIS when he couldn't. Why is my mind not quite okay with that?
Never mind, she still screwed it up. And K-9 SPIIIIIIIIINS.
Apparently in Voyage of the Damned, Ten forgot that he DID get to say "Take me to your leader" as Four. I notice weird things...
"She is prettier than you, master."
"...is she?"
Oh wow, Four actually sounds jealous...
ROMANA. NO. ONLY FOUR CAN OFFER JELLY BABIES. YOU ARE OVERSTEPPING YOUR BOUNDARIES.
"Good looks are no substitute for a sound character." Nice. Wise Words of Wisdom from the Doctor.
Another "most precious stone in the galaxy"? Next Key segment. Calling it. I'm beginning to see a trend here...
Wait...they actually have a ceremony called the Vigil of Evil? Please continue... :3
And now Four's going around asking people if they've seen a planet. Yes.
Entrance: the Doctor rings a doorbell that is literally a bell at the door and asks "Are you SURE this planet's supposed to be here?"
So all these guys have to do is STARE at the Doctor to take him down? Dayum.
"When someone FAILS MEEEEE, someone DIIIIIIIEEEEEEES."
Four tries leading the guard away from the air-car with a trail of jelly babies. And it works. Wow.
So considering Romana just referred to herself as a Time Lord, I'm guessing that Time Lady isn't a canon term?
"All we need to do is open it."
"But how?"
"I haven't the faintest idea."
UM. HELLO. DOCTOR. SONIC SCREWDRIVER. I DO BELIEVE YOU HAVE ONE.
Oh. Good. I thought you'd forgotten about it for a moment.
"WE MUST FIND THE DOCTOR!"
*crawls in under door* "Oh, hello hello, I'm the Doctor!"
This man knows how to make an entrance.
"SEIZE HIM!!!"
"Such hospitality! I'm underwhelmed."
Wait...are they implying that the WHOLE MOUNTAIN could be the Key segment?!?
"There will be blood for this! THERE WILL BE BLOOD!" Well, the Captain certainly sounds like the "I. DRINK. YOUR. MILKSHAKE." type.
Holy crap. It's not that they landed on the wrong planet, they landed on a hollow planet SURROUNDING the RIGHT planet. Genius, Mr. Adams.
Wow. Pralix almost looks like Richard E. Grant if he was a vampire-monk.
I just noticed that the Captain's chair has stickers on it that read "Danger" and "Front Seat."
The Captain keeps saying "By the ______ of the Sky Demon," wings, eyes, what have you. He just used "right frontal lobe." Yes, really.
Oh wow. They ACTUALLY fell for the trail-of-jelly-babies trick AGAIN. That...wow...
THEY'RE GOING AFTER EARTH NEXT? WHAT?
K-9. Piloting an air-car. From the back seat. With his antenna. That is actually pretty awesome.
"Why would you want to conquer the universe? What would you do with it? Besides shout at it?" Nice lampshading, Doctor.
I think that's the first time I've seen Four make an angry/dead-serious how-could-you-kill-all-those-people speech. Tom Baker, you amaze me.
Guys. A robot dog vs. robot parrot battle. It just happened.
K-9 victorious, bringing his master the ex-parrot in his "mouth." This show.
When a villain begins a sentence with "BY THE GREAT PARROT OF HADES..." you know that SOME form of awesome can't be far behind.
Oh. Wow. Seriously? You're going to make the Doctor walk the plank? I didn't even know they HAD planks in the future...
FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU the audio in the last episodes seems irreparably out of synch.
Wait wait wait HOW DID HE DO THAT? Falling...and planks...and a camera-box-looking-thing...WHAT?
HE IS MAKING A COPY OF HIMSELF. AND TALKING TO HIMSELF. AND WAVING TO HIMSELF. OH GOD MY MIND.
Wow. Nice use of "Rocks fall, everyone dies." Except for the "everyone" part, of course.
"The power. Has gone. The power has gone." That sentence. Was odd. That sentence was odd.
Well, now one of the Doctor's companions has killed somebody. With a gun. Let's hope he doesn't find out.
Bitch-slapping the Doctor just doesn't WORK right when the audio synch is fucked up...*sigh*
Another quite Doctor-ish move: getting the most worked up about Earth.
"Batteries...failing..."
"That's alright, K-9, you're still my best friend."
D'AAAAAAWWWWWWWWW
Why do I find it so amusing that "DESTROY! EVERYTHING!" is immediately followed by Four calling Isaac Newton "an old friend on Earth"?
So the Doctor climbed up a tree, dropped an apple on Isaac Newton's head, and explained gravity to him at dinner. THIS. SHOW.
"Romana, switch off the TARDIS forcefields." So, Four, are you going to get hit by the Titanic or run into Five? Or both?
AH. FACES. FLOATING. MIND NOT OKAY WITH THIS IMAGE.
All your machinery goes S'PLODY!
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOT MR. FIBULI!!!!!!
Who's the Captain going to scream at now? ;___;
I love how some Classic Who villains will yell at their right-hand men constantly and then get really sad when they die.
Actually...this happened in Ribos Operation too...is that another trend?
Okay, so I was close. It wasn't the pirate planet that was the Key segment, it was the planet INSIDE it.
And the Captain is still carrying Mr. Fibuli's glasses! Awww...
HUGE EPIC STORM OF TECHNOBABBLE
Along with several rapid uses of "fantastic." Sorry about that, Nine, looks like Four did it first...
And Four ends with triumph!fist. I love that.
*Applause* Well done, Mr. Adams. Well done.
Next: The Key to Time Part 3: The Stones of Blood