The Gunfighters
Previous: The Celestial Toymaker
The Gunfighters
And we open with, what I can only assume is, The Ballad of the Last Chance Saloon. Let's see if it's as much of an earworm as everyone says.
They sound more like they're talking with Cockney accents than Western accents. Of course, this is Lady McAccentfail speaking here...
The TARDIS doesn't have painkillers? Really? Really?
"We've got to find a dentist."
"Where are we?"
Probably one of the last places you'd want to go looking for a dentist.
The Wild West! WOW, Steven and Dodo are REALLY excited about this.
For some reason, Dodo's hair makes her look like several other different companions at the same time...
Oh god, I just realized: I wonder if Steven's using the same accent that Peter Purves used for that Alabama guy in The Chase.
Of course, that was Southern, not Western...
Holy crapmonkeys it's Wyatt Earp. When was the last time the TARDIS crew teamed up with a major historical figure? *goes to check*
*too lazy to finish checking, since Wikipedia lists the historical figures by their chronology, not the show's*
Well well, whaddaya know. Doc Holiday looks the spitting image of a younger One. I smell a mistaken identity plot coming on...
"...and lastly sir, your humble servant, Doctor...Caligari."
"Doctor who?"
"Yes, quite right."
Did...did One just call Wyatt "Mr. Wearp"? If that was actually a Hartnell Fluff, it fits beautifully.
Okay seriously, are they going to punctuate EVERY other scene transition with that song?
I just remembered that both of these companions will be gone within the next 2 serials. I'm really going to miss their dynamic.
Also, Steven wheeling One towards the surgery = hilarious.
"I was just thinking, I hope he's not expecting an injection!" Huh. You know guys, I didn't think you would find One's pain that funny.
Oh wow. Looking a tad dodgy for a kid's show, don't you think?
An alien time traveler participating in Wild West dentistry at gunpoint. This show.
Out come the pliers, and out come One's protests. Somehow I don't see this ending well.
"Oh my dear man, I never touch alcohol!"
"Well I do."
Now I see this ending even LESS well.
THANK YOU for the cutaway. Let's just hope we can't hear One screaming from down the street or something.
So the kids've been passed off as entertainers and the saloon's missing its singer. GEE I WONDER WHERE THIS IS GOING.
Wait, so why do those guys automatically assume that Steven and Dodo are in league with Holiday?
"My my, what a fine piece of ivory." JESUS WHY ARE YOU SHOWING US THE BLOODIED TOOTH I DON'T EVEN
OH WAIT. DOC HOLIDAY, DOCTOR. I AM STUPID AND SLOW.
As freaky as it technically is, watching them packing heat for One is actually pretty funny.
Companions must perform at gunpoint, and what song do they pick? The same song we've been hearing ALL EPISODE.
Wow, Dodo is tearing up those keys like nobody's business. Seriously, I don't remember the last time I heard anyone play like that.
Hearing the ending theme after all that piano that actually feels really weird at first.
Steven is growing increasingly disapproving of this song.
And now the singer's back and HE'S being asked to play piano? Dodo does not approve. (also, Steven Taylor? A pianist? Really?)
Oh my god. He can play. At gunpoint. Without looking at the sheet music. I literally have no words for this.
One's back! And it looks like he's going to be in trouble any second now.
STICK-UP. ONE'S DOING A STICK-UP. I hereby declare this to be several kinds of amazing.
I'm somehow only just realizing how insanely well One's apparel fits in this serial. Also, did someone just SHOVE HIM off-camera?
A man is holding Dodo at gunpoint on her bed. Nope, not sketchy at all.
Steven seems to be plotting a jailbreak. Yet another thing in this story I don't see ending well.
Wait why are they riding him out backwards on a horse what's with the dentist's chair why is there a mob
Oh. No wonder. I skipped to the wrong part of the episode. Whoops...
Looks like Wyatt's gone to offer Holiday an ultimatum. Did sheriffs make a habit of sneaking into peoples' homes like that at night?
Suspicious plan is suspicious. I wonder how Steven's going to handle this.
Huh. Dodo and Kate seem to be having a bit of girl-bonding time. And HOW have I gone this long without mentioning KATE'S HAIR.
So just like I've become more aware of when Who girls pass the Bechdel Test, I've also become equally aware of when they fail it.
Steven gives One a warning...and a gun...and I still don't see this ending well.
"I have no intention of trying anything, only people keep giving me guns and I do wish they wouldn't."
Still amused that One keeps calling him "Mr. Wearp," though.
Ah, so THAT'S how the lynch mob gets formed.
This is one of those rare situations where the Doctor seems even more out of control of the situation than usual.
Did...did Wyatt Earp just stealth-clock a guy in the head who just put a noose around Steve's neck? Hardcore, sir, hardcore.
I'm not quite sure how to sum up that whole scene other than...wow.
And now the song's starting narrating the show. I wonder if it's just for that line or if it'll be doing that for the rest of the serial.
"Don't be ridiculous Doc Holiday's a great friend of mine. He gave me a gun, he extracted my tooth, good gracious me what more do you want?"
It says something about the kind of life these people lead when several gunshots is followed by "oh, not AGAIN!"
New Challenger: Johnny Ringo. I can tell this is building up to something epic.
WHAT. NO! I was really honestly hoping he wasn't going to shoot poor Charlie the barman. Sad now D:
And he even gets a dedication verse in the Ballad! Awww...
WOAH. UNEXPECTED DODO WITH GUN.
"Just at the moment you're aiming right between my eyes."
"Oh I'm sorry..." *adjusts gun* "...is that better?"
Yeah, I didn't think Dodo could take much more of all that gun stuff... and Charlie's body is still just laying there the next morning...
Ohhhhh, so it was Ringo on all those Wanted posters all over the place!
Ah, meeting your ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend must've been a different kind of awkward back then.
Uh oh, I have an uncomfortable feeling Warren Earp's not going to make it through this episode alive...
"...the time will be soon...when there's blood on the sawdust...in the Last Chance Saloon." Poor Warren.
Wyatt's going to be out for blood now. This all seems to be heading for a fairly epic finale...
Oh! Warren's not dead! :D (although I don't know how much longer he's going to last)
That was fast. And sounds like Wyatt's lookin' for a shootout at sunrise.
"I'll take 'em from behind and you face 'em!" #innuendooftheday
Dodo and Doctor reunited! Now we just need to get Steven back to Tombstone...
"Two hours to sun-up..." Actually, more like two seconds.
"It's the O.K. Corral...of gunfighting fame...where the Earps and the Clantons...they played out the game..." *braces self for epic*
Oh crap. Dodo gets caught between Johnny Ringo and Doc Holiday and bullets are flying EVERYWHERE.
I think I can safely say that Dodo was just responsible for Ringo getting shot. Also, Holiday is a freaking cucumber.
Earps victorious! "...So beware all you cowboys...who're yearning to sin...if the Earps are the lawmen...you ain't gonna win."
Oh wow. Holiday actually went out with a "you all" instead of "y'all."
"Oh my dear Dodo, my dear Dodo...you know, you're fast becoming a prey to every cliche-ridden convention in the American West."
Distant future age of peace and prosperity? Hmm, I wonder how long THAT'S going to last...
"Next Episode: Dr. Who and the Savages." Ah yes! This was the last serial to have individual episode names! Another era ended.
Next: The Savages