The War Machines
Previous: The Savages
The War Machines
Ooo yay! Inventive new serial title sequences!
Earth! London! 1966! I'm assuming!
"You see the problem is, coming back to the 20th century my dear, the TARDIS, I'm afraid, is often mistaken for a real police box."
Oh my god. That tower. Does it look like a giant Nine/Ten sonic screwdriver to anyone else?
One's Spidey Senses are tingling! Wow, just look at Hartnell wring his hands.
Wait, that dress...that can only be...POLLY! Hey gurl heeeeey.
A central control unit that links all the computers of the world? GOD OF THE INTERNET.
So Polly's only just been introduced and already we've been treated to one of Anneke Wills' famous Ridiculous Faces.
One apparently does not approve of WOTAN-related shenanigans. His Srys Face says so.
It can even decipher what the TARDIS acronym stands for. Somehow this doesn't sound good.
And we are magically transported to "the hottest nightspot in town!"
"Poor sailor?" BEN BEN BEN BEN BEN BEN BEN BEN
Oh man. Already they are so adorbs. Poutyface to poutyface!
Apparently, you do not insult Ben's height. It will inspire him to come to the rescue of the woman you're harassing.
BAR FIGHT. BRIEF BAR FIGHT.
"Thank you, umm..."
"Ben. Ben Jackson."
:D
And naturally the first reporter to ask about WOTAN is a New Yorker who can't quite keep his accent on straight.
If you've got a giant supercomputer in the room and you feel like someone's listening to and watching you, guess what it probably is?
That was quite an ominous 7,777th Tweet. Also, music and sound effects seem to be blending into each other again.
Yikes. WOTAN must know EVERYTHING if it was able to figure out Dodo's location like that. Of course, she seems to be influenced already...
Supercomputer Decrees Mankind To Be A Hindrance To The Progression Of Earth. Ah yes, this ol' plot.
"I'm human. There's nothing more important than human life. Machines cannot govern man! I will not..." Nice try, though.
One in a nightclub. Technically speaking, this could be pretty hilarious.
Especially since the barmaid "digs his fab gear."
"DOC...TOR...WHO...IS...RE...QUIRED..." I don't even need to comment on that. I'm sure we're all thinking the same thing.
So I wonder if the type in the title scenes are a reference to some old 60s computer thing. Actually...HOLY CRAP IT'S K-9 FONT.
Unless this serial takes place over a long amount of time, they must build those war machines REALLY REALLY fast.
"Top priority is to enlist Doctor Who." *glares at script*
Well, Dodo's back all bright and chipper.
"You didn't tell me about your friends and how did they know you might be here?" Might be one of the most parentlike things One's ever said.
Woah. Hello Creepy Men in Grey Coats Who Look Like Drug Dealers. If you could just wait outside, post-watershed's not for a few more hours.
Quid, half-crown, one of these days I really need to memorize the sequence of English currency or something...*checks Wikipedia*
*finds list* Well, now a particular scene from An Unearthly Child makes a lot more sense.
Aww, Ben and Polly have a date for tomorrow! Although they probably won't if the war machines get built overnight like they probably will...
Oh snap. I just realized that we'll be saying goodbye to Dodo sometime this episode. I hope it doesn't just randomly happen in the middle.
The hobo has stumbled upon a Dark Mysterious Secret!
"This machine must be completed and armed by tomorrow morning!" Called it.
Wow. The hobo even got his picture in the paper when they found his body. We didn't really see how he died, though, did we?
Very curious matters. This called for Brainy Specs!
"Hello Dodo, how are you feeling?"
"Quite well, thank you."
Woah. Dodo, when did you suddenly turn into a late-20-something?
Wait...NO DON'T USE THE PHONE.
"It's the Doctor." Ah, good. We're back on track with that now.
Excellent. Dodo doesn't realize that One isn't under WOTAN's control and is spilling everything to him.
Hartnell seems to be having more overdramatic moments in this serial than I've ever seen from him before.
I think I've mentioned this before, but it seems like the Doctor's method of hypnosis/unhypnosis changes a little every time.
Ah, THERE we go: Ring to the Rescue.
PLAAAAAAAAAAANE! You know, since almost no Hartnell stories take place on modern Earth, seeing vehicles like this feels just a little odd.
Oh god, I REALLY hope the war machines don't make that sound for the whole rest of the serial.
"WHERE...IS...DOCTOR...WHO?" Shut up, WOTAN.
Uh oh, Polly's in trouble now. Oh hello again, Ben!
You know, if I didn't know better, I'd almost say Ben was running around London in a bathrobe and pajamas.
But now he's TRAPPED! And the credits roll. While they haven't formally announced it yet, I'm guessing that's the last we've seen of Dodo.
Ben escapes! But not before the camera pans across a cluster of boxes labeled "high explosives." I sense an eventual s'plosion.
And there's...magically...Polly. Tone of voice automatically suggests WOTAN control. Aww crudmonkeys, not her too...
I noticed before that Polly has pretty excessive amounts of eyeshadow, but now I'm just noticing how crazy-long her eyelashes are.
Well, at least Ben has good enough sense to know when's the right time to not be afraid to hit girls. ...wow, that came out wrong.
"He seemed quite a responsible young lad. I suppose if he hasn't phoned it's because he didn't bring the...he did not, erm, been able to."
Wow. Either Professor Brett really does want Ben as just part of the workforce or Polly is doing a REALLY good job at bluffing.
Gurl what is your hair even
That was a very curious moment of close-up eye contact between them. Maybe Polly's back to normal now.
And Ben finally escapes for real!
Yikes. Even if I was her superior, I'd be pretty freaked out if Polly ever fixed me with that stare.
"But he *was* my friend..." Polly, your humanity's showing...
Were this a Two-era serial or later, I wonder if UNIT would've been the ones to've been called in to handle this instead of the army.
Actually, I'm just going to go ahead and pretend it's UNIT. The uniforms are pretty similar after all.
WAREHOUSE FIGHT. WAREHOUSE FIGHT.
You can't argue with machines. Especially when they are, in fact, machines and not some guy piloting a bucket-o-bolts.
Wait...did the guns even fire? I don't think so...(I'm assuming that that gas disabled them)
"Everybody get back under cover!" And One's all like "YOU. SHALL NOT. PASS." (because you know why? SPACE. GANDALF.)
Just realized that some of the war machine's noises are kinda like that old electronic grinding sound from when you went online in the 90s.
Of course, since the war machines are basically computer-run tanks, this really shouldn't surprise me.
Im in ur londunz, crushin ur dustbinz.
And of course Polly's reintroduction pans from the (bare) legs up.
I think the most surprising thing about the war machines themselves is that fact that they really aren't that huge.
Ah, the mighty war machine defeated by a simple cage of electromagnetic cables! SCIENCE.
"What did you do?"
"Well to coin a phrase, Sir Charles, I neutralized it. Quite a harmless-looking fellow, don't you think?"
Just 7 minutes left, and all that remains to be done is to dismantle the other war machines and take down WOTAN.
Wow. That thing's really barreling down the street now. When did it get so fast?
More importantly, HOW DID IT FIT IN THE ELEVATOR?
Beeeen Jaaacksooooon tooooooo the rescuuuuuuue!
WOTAN finally destroyed by its own creation. I wonder if this counts as Hoisted By His Own Petard?
Back out in front of the TARDIS, One pacing around, waiting for a Dodo that will never come...
But here come Ben and Polly! The latter of which is looking strangely masculine all of a sudden.
"Where is she? I very nearly left without her."
"Left?"
"Yes, errrr, to the airport, yes. She is well, I hope?"
"She says she's feeling much better and she'd like to stay here in London and she sends you her love."
"Her love? Huh! That's gratitude for you...take her all around the world, through space and time..."
"Come again, Doctor?"
Wait. Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. WHEN did they get a second TARDIS key?!?
Ooo, One might not have the most pleasant of surprises next serial, considering how he shooed them off just now...
Also, Dodo! You barely had a good-bye scene. And since RTD never canonized your fate in "Death of the Doctor"...oh dear...you poor thing...
So that was Hartnell's last complete serial and Ben and Polly's ONLY complete serial. Oh man, I'm headed for a whole season of burnination.
Next: Season 4: The Smugglers