The Trial of a Time Lord: The Mysterious Planet
Previous: Season 22: Revelation of the Daleks
Parts 1-4: The Mysterious Planet
THIS SONG. FINALLY I GET TO HEAR IT IN CONTEXT.
Ah, now this is interesting: apparently the title cards are listing the arc name instead of the serial names.
Which of course begs the question, when is it actually called "The Mysterious Planet" in a title card?
Okay. Rail on Classic effects all you want, that opening pan was pretty damn cool.
"At last, Doctor." Hello Six! Haven't seen you properly in months! And that lurker dude in the shadows, is that...
'TIS. 'TIS THE BRICKYARD. I mean THE VALEYARD.
"It is my unpleasant task, Madam Inquisitor, to prove to the inquiry that the Doctor is an incorrigible meddler in the affairs of other peoples and planets." Well, yeah, that's what he DOES.
Ouch. You know, Doctor, maybe giving up the office of Lord President of Gallifrey wasn't such a good idea after all.
The Valeyard presents his evidence: an episode of Doctor Who.
PERI! Nice to see you actually wearing clothes this time!
Awwww, arm-clinging.
Also, Peri is it just me, or did you steal Nyssa's hairstyle in-between seasons?
It's so nice to see them actually getting along and playing nicely with each other for once...
Ah, you must be the infamous Sabalom Glitz! I didn't know we'd be meeting you this early in the Trial!
That was totally just a broken escalator they just went down. I wonder how soon they're going to figure out they're on Earth...
"You know I'm glad I decided to come here. I might stay here for a year or so and write a thesis: Ancient Life on Ravalox by Doctor..." Who?
Ah, the Marble Arch Tube station. I wonder if I was there last time I was in London...
So those green chains on Six's waistcoat ARE connected to pocket watches. Must be Gallifreyan if they can measure years by the billions.
"Why do I have to sit here watching Peri getting upset while two unsavory adventurers bully a bunch of natives?" Six is going meta here.
"As a matter of interest, where is Peri?"
"Where you left her."
"...Where's that?"
"You don't remember?"
I can't imagine what this level of foreshadowing must've been like for 80s fans, especially for something to be revealed 6 episodes later.
This is breaking my heart a bit, guys. Six, I know you're trying to give Peri a hug-speech, but your alien-time-traveler is showing.
"I'm sorry...but look at it this way: planets come and go, stars perish. Matter disperses, coalesces, reforms into...other patterns...other words. Nothing can be eternal."
I feel like I should've timed how long it took between Six leaving and Peri getting captured.
Looks like humanity has culturally regressed to the Dark Ages...and yet they still have some advanced looking technology.
I'm assuming that's the L3 robot? Unless it goes by a different name.
This is a very interesting fusion of future technology and pagan superstition. Apparently, space travel angered the gods.
So we've got locals calling the Doctor "old" and Six saying he's "only 900 years old." *turns on the InfoText discussion of Doctor-aging*
According to the InfoText, the Doctor first claimed to be 900 in Revelation of the Daleks. I'd been wondering about that...
Ooo yay! People from the future talking about classic books and getting the names wrong!
"One of our books is called 'Mo-bye Dick' by Herman Melville." Between this and "The Water Babies" they seem to have an aquatic theme going.
So for some reason I never really notice Holmes Double-Acts in Robert Holmes' stories. I actually need to be reminded that they're there.
(Interesting typo just now: I accidentally put "Robot" instead of "Robert.")
"Oh, why'd you stop it at the best bit? I was rather enjoying that!" Because everyone loves home videos of My First Stoning.
So the Valeyard presents very little evidence and then goes into "HE IS THE MOST EPIC CRIMINAL EVAR" mode resulting in dramatic-close up.
Guys, this show. And I'm not sure I mean that in the good way, just in the "whaaaaat" way.
I just noticed that the Valeyard calls him "my dear Doctor." Sounds a bit Master-esque to me, doesn't it?
Is it just me, or is the Valeyard the only one really interested in bringing Six down? The rest of the council is like "k...your point is?"
Wow. The guards' helmets all look like they have blood splattered on top of them.
"Not many girls join the free, Peri. I shall provide some excellent husbands for you!" And Peri even gets a musical trill of disapproval.
"Husbands?...Plural?"
Kind of adorable adoration of Six staring into the security camera like that. Hi, Six! *waves*
"Ah! It seems we have a pretty visitor!" Ho boy...Glitz, don't get cozy with Peri. You'll have Mel latching onto you next season.
So I wonder why that shot of the light converter has that weird brown crack down the side of it. It looks very out of place.
Maybe it's a glitch, but I have a hard time believing that something that huge would get by the Restoration Team.
Believe me, I'd screencap this if I could, but Macbooks can't do screencaps while the DVD player's on.
Now this is interesting: Glitz not only knows about the Time Lords, but he's convinced that Six is on Ravalox at their orders.
Taking the two cleverest youths and sending them to the secret overlord to be eaten? Holmes, you did this before. It was called The Krotons.
Although in THAT story, the "companions" actually WERE killed. Here it looks like they act as actual companions...or something...
"Where we come from, a woman can have as many as six."
"Oh, it's very similar on my planet. Except we usually have them one at a time."
I just noticed: Peri's outfit LOOKS like it would be very cleavage-friendly, but it always folds in a concealing way. #costumetriumph
Okay, I REALLY wish I could screencap Colin's face here. It is truly adorbs.
TRAGICAL HISTORY TOUR DOES NOT HAVE SCREENCAPS FOR THIS SERIAL. WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY.
Ah, so it is in fact an L3 robot, but its official name is Drathro.
AHHH. SIX. YOU KEEP A LITTLE KITTY-TEDDY IN YOUR POCKET. WITH A LITTLE BOW. #whendidyoubecomesoadorableandlesslikelytostranglepeople
And naturally we cut back to the courtroom for Madam Inquisitor to drill the Valeyard on how this is relevant to anything.
His Name Is "The Boatyard."
His Name Is "The Graveyard."
And apparently Their Names Are "Humbug" and "Hambag."
Ah, good ol' Doctor, always using science and ooo-look-over-theres to escape the annoying grudging task at hand.
Looks like the footage with the L1 robot moving down the hall was sped up a bit. It's jitterier than usual.
Also, the music they used made it even creepier. Actually, it was a bit terrifying.
Ooo, interesting plot twist: apparently one of Drathro's top men has been smuggling people out to the surface. CONSPIRACY.
Aww, the InfoText tells me that the epic space station prop from the opening scene was destroyed in a fire at an exhibition house in 1996.
And of course somebody was (quite obviously) overhearing the secret conversation of secretness...
Also, this was apparently the serial where they stopped using film to do the on-location and outdoors shoots.
That would certainly explain why the outdoor fight scenes from Battlefield looked so different.
And BOOM goes the light converter!
I'm impressed: the serial's story has me drawn in enough that I keep forgetting about the over-arching trial plot.
Here we go, Peri and Six back together...if she can make it across all that undergrowth without falling and breaking herself.
Oh fun, trapped on all sides!
Ah, the dude who looks like one of the lion people from Warriors' Gate just happens to be an old friend of Balazar. How convenient!
I almost wish I was keeping track of how many times they cut back to the courtroom to ask the Valeyard if this footage is necessary.
That said, this might be the most spectacularly metatextual Doctor Who story I've seen since The Mind Robber.
"I find primitive physical violence distressing."
"So do I, ma'am. Especially when I'm on the receiving end."
So all this time I'd thought Brits saying "ma'am" was them saying "mom" (assuming it was an acceptable moniker). Now I know better.
Ladies and gentlemen, this has been another moment of Amerifail.
I know the whole Trial arc was meant to be a comment on the BBC's treatment of the show at the time, but this is more than I bargained for.
Actually, I'd almost say that the Valeyard is being all "YOU WILL WATCH THIS SHOW AND LIKE IT" right now. But *politely.*
You know, if you count the two elite youths, you could almost say this story has TWO Holmes Double-Acts.
Doctor, I think you of all people would know better than to try and conduct a handshake over an open flame.
I think I can safely say by now that the L1 robot has a leitmotif. And it isn't getting any less creepy.
Six is being enveloped and strapped down by metal tentacles. ...Well okay then. #innuendooftheday
His Name Is "The Scrapyard."
The InfoText points out an interesting continuity error regarding the function of the matrix between The Deadly Assassin and now.
("Still, that was also written by Robert Holmes, so we must assume he knew what he was doing...!") Indeed we must. Moving right along...
"They're gonna kill the Doctor!" I still have a bit of trouble understanding how regeneration companions always make a fuss about this.
Okay, technically speaking, it's the natural human reaction. But still. #stuffireadtoodeeplyinto
Ho boy, these people are going to get a nasty shock when they realize that the L1 robot was not, in fact, "the immortal."
"He's a goner. You can tell by his color!" Um, this is the Sixth Doctor we're talking about. You're going to have to be a LOT more specific.
"Oh, my head hurts abominably, Sarah Jane..." Is this the first time he's called her "Sarah Jane" instead of "Sarah"? Oh wait, it's not...
Returning to the present, is it just me or is Nicola Bryant's accent slipping more in this serial than it usually does?
So according to the InfoText, Eric Saward left Doctor Who between the first two rehearsal blocks for this serial. ...wow.
Ah, that explains the length of the court scenes earlier: the episode was running undertime so JNT wrote more padding for it.
Interested parallel: while the elite youths are dealing with technical problems, the InfoText is talking about production falling apart.
More specifically, Robert Holmes being hospitalized and JNT and Saward trying to pull together the rest of The Ultimate Foe.
"Peri, I can't let people die if there's a chance of saving them!" #trufaxthedoctorsays
"The remainder of that evidence has been excised, my lady." In other words, the Valeyard lost the last episode? BUT HOW DOES IT END?
Oh, okay, he didn't lose it. *sits down for cliffhanger*
"What are you hunting?"
"You." *gunshot with no laser or sound effects*
...kay. Thanks for that, guys, that was...exhilarating.
"Why, Grell...why?" (Guys. Did...did he actually just say that, guys. Guys.)
Congratulations, Whofolk. I think you just succeeded in making the series' most melodramatic death scene ever. What was that music even.
And then you make up for it with HOLY SHIT GRAPHIC DEATH SCENE OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
Wait...the InfoText says it was intended to be "far more" graphic? WHAT?
His Name Is "The Knacker's Yard." (Wow, Six is REALLY giving him a thorough tongue-lashing in this scene.)
Apparently, that was the first time in the show's history that something in-story was bleeped out. Not a swear, but a plot point.
"Is your point that organics are of more importance than robots?"
"...Yes, if you want to look at it that way."
Ah, Six is having a major moral quandary with Drathro. This is actually a pretty impressive scene.
(Sorry if I've been a bit quiet this episode, but the InfoText is once again distracting me with some pretty fascinating stuff.)
(I turned it off when the transcript of the tirade regarding revisions to the original draft of this story got really repetitive.)
"Understanding is not the same as KNOWING, Drathro!" Really? I usually hear it phrased the other way around.
Wait...is it just me, or is Glitz's map printed on the back of an American flag?
"Five rounds rapid should do the trick." No, Glitz. Because you know why? You are not the Brig.
Ah...those fan blades and lasers don't look very friendly, do they...
Did Balazar just get hit in the face with Nickelodeon slime? Because that's sure what it looks like.
So I still don't think we know the full extent of the "three secrets" Glitz keeps talking about. I wonder if that's an arc-long mystery.
Ouch. Six was busy trying to reason Drathro into a compromise when all he really needed was a conman ruse. And now he's tied up again.
Oh. Well that didn't last long. Also, more amused than I should be at how Drathro looks like he's carrying a suitcase.
HURRY! PRESS BUTTONS! FLIP SWITCHES! GO GO GO GO!
And then there was a s'plosion! I'm just going to assume it wasn't nearly as catastrophic as Six said it was going to be.
"I wish you wouldn't keep frightening me like this."
"I told you to get out of here!"
"Please don't start...I'm too tired and too scared to cope."
"Alright."
Aww, Six seems to be putting his arm around Peri a lot more in this story.
Wait.........oh god, ILU InfoText. You guys have to read this:
("Robert Holmes must have been getting a bit demob happy as he reached the end of writing this script. How else can you account for these rather bizarre script descriptions at this point...?")
("PERI PUTS HER ARM AROUND THE DOCTOR'S NECK AND RESTS HER HEAD ON HIS MIGHTY, MANLY CHEST.") Mighty manly chest. Mighty. Manly. Chest.
("THE DOCTOR RECIPROCATES THE FRIENDLY AFFECTION. Does this mean the Doctor was then meant to rest his head on Peri's mighty chest...?")
Many times in these commentaries have I said "guys, this show." But now I must say "guys, these writers." Wow, Robert Holmes. Just...wow.
Now as perfect closing remarks to this serial, Six points out all the plot points that have not been resolved yet.
Guys, can we please stop ending with ominous music playing over the Valeyard's overdramatic speeches and close-ups on Six's concerned face?
And so begins the epic Trial. On the whole, I'm actually liking what I'm seeing so far.
Next: The Trial of a Time Lord Parts 5-8: Mindwarp