The Key to Time: The Androids of Tara
Previous: The Key to Time Part 3: The Stones of Blood
Part 4: The Androids of Tara
Oh wow. They've only been together for 3 serials and Four and Romana are already acting like an old married couple.
Actually, they've probably been like this for a while but I haven't noticed until just now.
I'll be interested the hear Four's explanation of why he keeps a bouquet of flowers and a gas mask hanging in the same closet.
I have to admit that it's pretty odd to hear the Doctor so reluctant to go adventuring. Then again, he's in this against his will...
Hmm, that camera angle and that growling can only mean AN ANIMAL.
Wait. We're only 6 minutes in and they've ALREADY found the Key segment?!? Okay, so what are they going to do with the rest of the story?
*picks up Romana* "I shall not take 'no' for an answer." O____O
The best way to wake a sleeping Doctor on a fishing trip: try to set his hat on fire with a sword. Yes really.
"Would you mind not standing on my chest? My hat's on fire!"
Guys, the medieval music in this episode is cracking me up.
Oh my god, there is just no hiding that Count Grendal wants to get into Romana's pants. I mean, seriously...
"If you don't stop burning my scarf, you're going to HAVE to kill me!" Best. Threat. Ever.
Holy shit, guys, Four's defense of his scarf almost made me tear up just now. I think I have a new OTP now...
So why didn't Romana just SAY IN THE FIRST PLACE that she WASN'T AN ANDROID?
Drugged wine. Called it?
Called it. Also calling Doctor-turns-out-to-be-immune-to-the-drug-because-of-the-whole-being-a-Time-Lord-thing.
Oh, no he falls victim to it too. Never mind.
So they made an android copy of Romana? GEE, I WONDER WHAT PLOT DEVICES RELATED TO MISTAKE IDENTITY COULD POSSIBLY RESULT FROM THIS.
Oh. That's actually not an android copy, it's the missing Princess who also happens to be played by Mary Tamm.
Also, WHY are there so many rape undertones in this story? This is very un-Who-like.
FOR EXAMPLE, WE'RE ONLY A HALF-HOUR IN AND ROMANA'S ALREADY BEEN CARRIED OFF, DRUGGED, AND PUT IN "RESTRAINTS" TWICE.
I MEAN THEY'RE PUTTING A CHAIN AROUND HER NECK NOW. WHAT THE HELL.
"He's not as young as he used to be."
"Who is?"
...why do I find that strangely profound?
Umm, please don't try to drill into the Key segment. Something tells me it won't work.
A plan to reject the crown at first? Is that a Julius Caesar reference I smell?
They got the android-double Prince to the throne first. OWNED.
Oh...let's hope the Doctor remembered to turn his voice back on...
Wait...how did he get away with turning it on IN FRONT OF EVERYONE?
Oh wow. Wasn't expecting that. Now I honestly don't know if that's the Princess or Romana.
And Four says "NO!!"
So it wasn't Romana OR the Princess, it was an android copy. That would explain why Four BASHED HER SKULL IN.
Oh yes, computers WERE big hulking cabinets back then, weren't they?
"She is not from Tara." UM. GEE. YA THINK?
Wow. The android's death ray is purple to match the suit! BRILLIANT!
"If only she were real, I'd MARRY her!" HA. THERE WE GO. LEGIT PROOF. GRENDEL WANTS ROMANA.
The scientist is in love with Grendel? What's the betting that she's the right-hand-(wo)man who gets mourned by the Big Bad when s/he dies?
Woah. Okay. He actually kissed her.
ahflkdhaklfhaldkfhdaklsfhalk WHY IS ROMANA STILL WEARING HEELS THAT MAKES NO SENSE ESPECIALLY FOR THE DOCTOR'S COMPANION
"We were going to meet at midnight!"
"Yes, well I had nothing to do so I decided to come early!"
Oh, Doctor...
That's why you always bring K-9 with you: to zap android clones of your companions when they try, albeit very slowly, to kill you.
CALLED IT. CALLED. IT. Okay, so Grendel isn't exactly mourning over her body, but he is PISSED that she's dead.
"EVERYONE FOR HIMSELF, K-9!" So we've got Four running on foot, K-9 treading along on whatever he's got, and ROMANA HAS A HORSE.
Guards are defeated by Shooty Dog Thing. Grendel responds by facepalming.
"Oh, this must be the android king!"
"Yes. We call him George."
So Four indirectly killed Grendel's girl, they run into each other again, and they're laughing. That...wow, that's pretty impressive.
Tom Baker's ability to pull off sarcastic-intrigue-face BLOWS. MY. MIND. I think it's the eyes.
"YOU, Doctor! YOU could be king!"
":DDDD" *runs to the next room* "The count's just offered me the throne!!!"
And Romana gets abducted AGAIN! Jesus...
Okay, I really seriously hate Mary Tamm's feeble attempts at yelling. They just. don't. work.
"But who's going to open those gates?"
"Me."
"Just one man?"
"One man and his dog. Come on, K-9!"
WIN.
Oh, hello again, Princess. "I will not marry you under ANY circumstances, and I will not marry the king under THESE circumstances."
But...I thought they were brother and sister?!?
I have to give Grendel some credit for coming up with such an intricate plan to seize the throne.
Grendel seems to be falling victim to the age-old "explain your whole plan to the good guys" monologue.
And the priest doesn't seem suspicious that that Princess has reappeared after years of absence?
That song on the wedding bells sounds strangely familiar for some reason...
"I am familiar with boats, master."
"...You old seadog, you."
Awwww...
Interesting blink-and-you-miss-it side-scene: Four nips into the lab, get the Key segment, and leaves. That was fast.
Speaking of Blink, "I'm rubbish at weddings, especially my own." Well, Doctor, you do seem to have a habit of breaking them up.
I mean there's this, there's accidentally abducting Donna and revealing her fiancee as a bad guy, there's The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith...
Yes I know that most of those examples were from New Who. Stop looking at me like that.
THERE IS GOING TO BE A SWORD FIGHT. WITH ELECTRIC SWORDS. THE DOCTOR VS GRENDEL. PREPARE FOR EPIC.
Umm. Hey. Guys. Fight music? Beating of war drums? Anything? Come on...
Actually, I'm going to see what happens when I add my own soundtrack to this scene...
HOLY FREAKING JESUS THAT WAS THE BEST IDEA
Why yes, I was using New Who music. Why do you ask?
Well, at least they put in their own storming-the-castle music.
Okay, NOW the fight scene has music. Plus running down corridors with lots of dark shadows!
Sure, guy, stand there giggling like an idiot while a woman identical to your princess storms in and PWNS YOUR ASS.
Four runs off, fearing for Romana's life. Cut to Time Lady and Princess sitting cordially with needlework. Nice.
Okay, I guess if they can kiss then they're not brother and sister after all.
"Talking of forgetting things, where's K-9?"
"......where IS K-9?"
YOU LEFT HIM IN A BOAT BELOW THE CASTLE, DOCTOR.
There he is! THE END.
Next: The Key to Time Part 5: The Power of Kroll