The Underwater Menace
Previous: The Highlanders
The Underwater Menace
Doing another online fan recon with Anneke Wills' narration for this one because I can't stand the Butterfly Effect recons.
"Unresistingly, Jamie allows himself to be drawn inside the TARDIS." #thingsthatsoundalotdirtierthantheyreallyare
I think I just found out where all of Jeeves' "as the poet Burns says" lines came from.
"Please let it be Chelsea 1966..."
"I hope it's the Daleks, I DON'T think..."
"Prehistoric monsters... :D"
"What have I come upon?"
Jamie, trust me, you're going to be coming upon a new thing every few weeks for the next several years or so.
Also, I think this is one of the only times when the TARDIS crew has wished for individual destinations before they land.
Oh, hello Unexpected Color Shot!
Extinct volcano. Logical conclusion: climb up it! (and now Team Two is just "Polly and her friends?")
"As she bends to pick it up, a shadow falls over her." Ooo, nice contrast effect!
Oh wow, they're actually addressing the issues of rapid descent and nitrogen compression. Why wasn't this is The Hungry Earth/Cold Blood?
Or maybe it was and I just forgot. I haven't seen those since they aired.
Oh. Um, hello Unexpected Troughton Crotch Shot.
"Cavemen? Hey Jamie, you better watch it. With that kilt, someone might mistake you for a bird!" ...what?
I'm not sure if he means "bird" as slang for "girl" or an actual bird. I'm assuming it's the former.
Ohhhh, THAT'S how "Mexico Olympiad" helped Ben and Polly tell the future.
Oh neat, Jamie knows Gaelic! *is made of enough language-fail to not be sure if all 18th century Scots knew English and Gaelic*
"Women and children last." Oh come on, Two, where's your sense of chivalry?
"What's got into 'im?"
"I don't know, I've never seen him go for food like this before; it's usually hats!"
A "striking figure in splendid robes"...wearing an epically bizarre hat and carrying a fish mask. #doctorwhofashions
I expect when someone "regrets to say" that you're to play an "important role" in their festival, I can only assume it means "sacrifice."
Team Two about to be dumped into shark-infested waters? I'm surprised this isn't the cliffhanger.
I'm surprised Zaroff's entrance didn't merit a musical cue. I mean, he DID just save Team Two from getting nommed by sharks.
"I could feed you to my pet octopus, yes?!"
"Yes!"
What is it with mad scientists and cephalopods?
Ahhhhh, those weird fish-people-things from stuff.
WAIT A SEC. ARE THEY IN ATLANTIS?
THEY ARE. (real ancient mythology in my Doctor Who? It's more likely than you'd think)
The real cliffhanger: Polly's about to go under the knife.
Attention creepers: your fish-surgery has been delayed due to Two having fun with wire cutters.
Draining the oceans to bring Atlantis back to the surface? SURE, WHY NOT?
"Just one small question: why do you want to blow up the world?" Zaroff's answer seems to be, in short, "because it would be AWESOME."
Two doesn't need to fight his way out of awkward situations, he just does science to it!
Well it looks like Two has a chance of getting the priest on his side, now that he's so conveniently voiced his distrust of Zaroff aloud.
I don't think water boils quite THAT fast, you guys.
Please hold for the ruler of Atlantis. While you wait, some light music from Patrick the Doctor and Squeaky the Recorder.
Aaaaand somehow they've lost Jamie. I wonder what he's off clinging to.
Boi what is on your head.
Oh. OH. Jamie's not just clinging, he's clinging for his LIFE. (why did I accidentally type "LOVE" first...)
(Of course, I can think of a lot of good reasons to cling to your LOVE.)
Considering how this serial was probably scripted initially, I'll bet that scene only exists for Jamie to have something happen to him.
Wait a sec, I thought the idol and the braziers were in the same room. How did Polly not wake up when the jar exploded?
Alright kiddies, it's time to break in my brand new Lost in Time DVDs! The surviving third episode: let's do this.
Aw crud, these don't have InfoText.
Oh Two, how long has it been since I've seen you actually moving? Not since this summer, I think.
Holy crap, that comment about "have you seen his eyes" might actually have some plot significance after all.
And now that things are actually moving, I can have proper appreciation for WHAT ARE THEY EVEN WEARING.
"I AM THE VOICE OF AMDO! HEAR ME!" In other words, "I AM OZ! THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE!" Or something like it.
Ben is playing god. This is just amazing and wonderful.
Zaroff is truly a creepy lord of creepers. Seriously. So much creep.
"But slaves, like worms, can be made to turn." Umm...Two, forgive me if I don't see the connection here.
You can tell how new Jamie is to all this by his distance from Two right now.
TWO. BUT WHAT ARE YOU WEARING. WHAT IS EVERYBODY WEARING. AND WHAT IS THE MUSIC EVEN, WHILE WE'RE AT IT.
Polly almost got pitchforked through a carpet. Wow, guys. Just...wow.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have rubber-clad cling.
......oh. Oh goodness, those things really *are* tight, aren't they?
CHAOS IN THE MARKET! I'm really glad this is a surviving episode. There's a LOT of detail and action to see and take in on this set.
Wow. That kidnapping plot was actually quite effective (not to mention *awesome*).
Apparently the fish people communicate in electronic warbling.
Ahhhhh, I see that suspension wire there...
Two appears to be wearing an earring. I'm going to assume that was part of his "sailor" disguise.
I'm not sure I buy Zaroff's "illness." After all, it's only the third episode and he hasn't said "NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN STOP ME NOW" yet.
EXACTLY. SEE. NOW YOU'RE BEING STRANGLED.
POLLY, DON'T JUST STAND THERE WHILE HE HAS HIS BACK TO YOU. *DO* SOMETHING.
Well, close enouOH MY GOD DID ZAROFF JUST IMPALE THE PRIEST WITH A POLE I THINK HE DID HOLY SHIT
That image of the boys coming up with the fish masks seems to be One Of Those Images from this era that I see everywhere.
"Ben, you and I have other fish to fry. Come on!" ...Two...you did NOT just make that pun...
Oh wow. And Polly managed to escape completely on her own. Simple, but nice.
FIGHT SCENE! Oh wow, LOOK at Jamie dodge that sword! And suddenly he becomes the center of cling.
It's official: Zaroff is an Axe Crazy. You know how I know? Because he's bugfuck insane and he just shot the ruler of Atlantis.
"NOZING IN THE WORLD CAN STOP ME NOW!!!"
"The Underwater Menace, episodeKILL THESE TWO MEN!!" #convenienttiming #what
Oh. So I guess Thous isn't dead after all. Good to know we still have someone sane to rule Atlantis.
Wow. Ben managed to get away with probably the least convincing guard-and-prisoner act ever.
"Do you know what you're doing?"
"Oh, what a question! Of COURSE I don't!"
Wait, WHAT was that about "closing night at Eddie Murphy's pub?"
Zaroff seems to be very unfortunately consistent in his counterattacks on Two's sabotage. Of course, he can't hold back the *ocean.*
AHA. NOW they've got him. And...Two wants to go BACK for him? Good ol' Doctor, I suppose.
Awwwww, and FYI Jaime, Polly will return the favor in the next story when you get a concussion on the moon.
So Two-and-Ben and Jamie-and-Polly have spent most of the episode separated and they both think that the others could be dead. Ouch.
"Any sign of the Doctor?"
"No. He must've died saving us."
"We'll raise a stone to him in the temple."
"No. No more temples. It was temples and priests and superstition that made us follow Zaroff in the first place. When the water finds its own level the temple will be buried forever. We shall never return to it, but we will have enough left to build a new Atlantis, without gods and without Fish People."
"Yes. That shall be his memorial."
Team Two is alive! Hug tiem nao.
Wow. Look at Jamie being all BAMF.
"You sound very happy, Jamie!"
"Oh aye, Doctor, I am now. You know, I never thought I'd say this but...well, it's great."
"What is?"
"Well, all this! Oh, I'll never know what makes it go, mind y', but...well at least I feel safe in here. It's only the wee things outside that're, well, alarming."
And with the TARDIS spinning wildly out of control, we return to the land of serial-to-serial cliffhangers!
I've heard that this serial gets a lot of flack for not being very good, but I actually enjoyed it. ESPECIALLY the surviving episode.
Next: The Moonbase