The Twin Dilemma
Previous: The Caves of Androzani
The Twin Dilemma
Alrighty, send in the Coliiiiiiiiiin...
AAAAAAHHHHHHH THERE IT IS, THE OPENING SEQUENCE THAT'S WAY TOO FUCKING SPARKLY
"Just because mother happened to give birth to us, does that automatically grant her a place in our affections?"
"Well, yes!"
I have to say, the titular twins FEEL like they SHOULD be creepy but they just...aren't, for some reason. Not a problem for me, really.
"WELL, Peri, what do you think?"
"It's terrible..."
"Oh, never mind about the clothes, they're easily changed!"
Okay Six, impress me.
Ah, here begins that awkward period of the new Doctor running around in the old Doctor's clothes. Five's cricket togs match his hair well.
Oh my god. Six's camp is reaching epic proportions. I'm going to be spending most of this episode laughing at him, aren't I?
"My last incarnation. I was never happy with that one."
"By why ever not?"
"It had a sort of...feckless charm, which simply. wasn't. me."
Okay. NOW I can see this going to a bad place very very fast. And "Absolute RUBBISH!" Never thought I'd say this but, THANK YOU PERI.
First he scorns the idea of being "sweet," then he has an emotional breakdown in the costume room, then he laughs evilly. What I don't even
Usually I just attribute this kind of weird behavior to Post-Regeneration Brain-Crazies, but here it might just be...Crazies.
Okay he's actually explained himself to Peri now. Also his regenerations are "explosive" and happen with "diminishing effect?" Hey, Ten...
Oh god... there it is...
Professor Edgeworth? Oh the stupid Phoenix Wright references I could make if I'd actually played those games...
Abducting children with stick-on LiveSaver candies? That's a new one.
Alright everybody, sing along now. A ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR:
SUCH A DAZZLING COAT OF MANY COLORS. HOW HE LOVED HIS COAT OF MANY COLORS.
It was red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and
gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and grey and purple and white and
pink and orange and red and yellow and green and brown and BLUE!
And there's the cat badge! Also...is that Three's burgundy coat that Peri's holding?
"A peri is a good and beautiful fairy in Persian mythology. The interesting thing is, before it BECAME good, it was evil!"
Ho boy, here it comes, the infamous "strangling Peri" scene...
That probably would've been harder to watch if Colin hadn't been keeping a such noticeably light grip on her neck. But still, DAYUM, Six...
Also, she just fended him off with...what?
"An extraterrestrial kidnap?" So there you have it, folks. In The Future, the cops will have an office term for "alien abduction."
"You tried to kill me!"
"That's absurd!"
Oh crap, he isn't even going to apologize.
"I have an inbuilt resistance to any form of violence, except in self-defense!" YOU. FUCKING. LIAR.
Okay, the self-defense part is pretty true, but...JESUS. I'm actual really proud of Peri for calling him out on this. Like, every sentence.
15 minutes into the first episode is probably a little too early to be judging, but here's what I see so far:
It seems there's definitely a lot to blame on poor writing, but Colin's hamminess keeps alternating between a good thing and a bad thing.
...I should probably just keep watching shouldn't I?
Well, at least Six has recognized that he's done something horribly wrong and plans to do something about it.
And, again, I never thought I'd say this, but I actually almost want to give Peri a hug. Mainly because the Doctor hasn't. And he should.
"I must atone for what I have done!" I think self-exile to a desert planet is easily the biggest over-reaction the Doctor's had to anything.
It breaks my heart to admit this, but when wikipedia said this was repeatedly voted the worst Doctor Who story of all time, I can see why.
Then again, I'm still only 1/4 of the way through, and I VERY much appreciate Peri being a very vocal voice of reason.
Which of course begs the question: what HUGE EPIC MASSIVE REDEEMING THING does Six do by the end to make Peri stay?
"Can you save him?"
"Easily. But I'm not going to."
Okay. No. No. No no no no no. No. Every no ever. No.
You guys are going to be playing this game of Good-Doctor/Bad-Doctor tennis for a while, aren't you?
Wow. Defiant twins are defiant.
"I can sense some massive danger threatening the universe!"
"I thought you WERE the danger to the universe."
"...ME?"
"We must FIND this evil and DESTROY IT!" Wow. Six is almost like a dark parody of every other Doctor. *scratches chin in contemplation*
Well, considering Six keeps blaming his...schizophrenia...on his regeneration, I'm actually seeing a small glimmer of hope for him.
"Aliens? Oh no! No no don't shoot! It's...it's not my fault, I'm just a poor pilgrim. It's all her fault! Oh, mercy mercy! Don't shoot me!"
Guys. I am completely dead serious. That REALLY DID just happen. While cowering behind Peri too. Oh god I can't even...WHY? WHYYYYY???
So, Edgeworth = Azmael = Time Lord = Doctor's old mentor.
And Hugo wakes up alone in the TARDIS. Somehow I don't see this ending well.
"That hardly sounds in character!" You know Doctor, the same could be said about you for nearly EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE THIS SERIAL.
Hugo, in the costume room, where Peri hid the power pack to his gun. Gee, I don't suppose he'd happen to run across it in there...
...UM. YEAH. CALLED IT. Also, that shirt is almost exactly as tasteless as Six's jacket.
And then there was a s'plosion!
So despite only knowing him for 2 serials and suffering so much trauma at his hands, Peri still cries when she thinks the Doctor's dead.
Well, despite that horribly painful start that may scar me for a while, I'm interested to see where this goes.
Namely in the will-Six-ever-mellow-out department. I know it was their original intention to do that over the course of multiple seasons.
"I thought you'd been killed."
"...You cared?"
"Well of course I did!"
"It's called 'compassion,' Doctor. It's the difference that remains between us." I'm actually starting to like Peri more and more.
I dunno, that blip kinda looked like a police box to me.
That was probably the cheesiest throne room scene ever. Also, "death by embolism" apparently means "death by green."
Six is certainly fond of thrusting his arms out when he exits the TARDIS.
Wait? What's this? Six showing concern for something other than himself? DOCTOR! YOU ARE STILL IN THERE!
"Doctor, you're beginning to scare me."
"I'm beginning to scare myself."
"Is this another attempt to teach me 'compassion'?" Oh, wait, never mind.
"Now listen, Sargent."
"Lieutenant."
"LEFTentant."
Okay. That was probably the greatest clash of accents I've ever seen on this show.
"I've already explained my condition. I may be behaving like a manic barometer, but don't shrug off help when it's offered." THANK you, Six.
Giant Slug-People! How Unexpected!
I just realized that these bird-people have the most fake noses of ever. It's pointy tin foil. Really, it is.
Using twin boy geniuses to MOVE PLANETS with their 133t m@th sk1llz? Wouldn't that...you know...take a while?
"MANIC DEPRESSIVE? ME?" Okay, she may be a botany student, but at least she can give somewhat accurate diagnoses.
Old mentor "still bullying children"? This calls for a DRAMATIC ENTRANCE! And DRAMATIC POINTING! And JUMPING! And CHOKING MORE PEOPLE!
"I apologize!" .........TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH.
Knock out the guy, kidnap the girl? You'll forgive me if I don't quite see the logic behind that.
Well, at least Mestor agrees with me.
SIX IS WEARING RED SPATS. I MEAN I NOTICED THAT HE HAD RED THINGS ON HIS SHOES, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE SPATS.
And yet after all the yelling and insults and tiemrage, when Six learns that Peri's been captured he frantically runs to help her. Awwww...!
Colin, there's hope for you yet ;D
Mestor won't kill Peri because he finds her "pleasing." Guys? Can't we make it through ONE serial without someone getting the hots for her?
"The very core of my being is on fire with guilt and rage!" Doctor, you shouldn't be feeling that until you're Nine.
Okay, now Six finally gets to be cool and calm and calculating in the face of the enemy. THERE'S the Doctor we all know!
Hey kids, it's time for a SCIENCE LESSON! Today's subject: why three planets of different mass can't occupy the same space!
Theory: Mestor wants to destroy the fertile planets so his people will have the barren planet all to themselves. Calling it now.
"We don't want to arouse Mestor's suspicions." As the bird-people find the blue police box in the passageway.
Okay, my theory was actually VERY wrong. They need the sun to have a s'plosion to scatter the slug eggs. Makes...sense...to me?
GUN FIGHT!! Ah yes, we're approaching the infamous this-season-was-too-violent-said-the-network Season 22, aren't we?
"YOU? Take over MY MIND?" Well Six, we DO still have about 10 minutes left, there's still time for one more bad thing to happen.
And that one more bad thing happens to Azmael instead. Worst lip-synching, by the way.
Slug melting tiems nao!
And Six gets an old-friend-dying-in-his-arms scene in his very first serial. Awwwwww...
*grab from behind*
*scream*
*release*
"Don't EVER do that again!"
"Of course not!"
"Are you alright?"
"Do I look otherwise?"
AAAWWWWWWWWW...
I think like where this thread is going...
...okay, he's still being a jerk sporadically, but now he's reached the obligatory "leave before we have to clean up the mess" part.
"And I would suggest, Peri, that you wait a little before criticizing my new persona!" Actually...he really does have a point.
"And whatever else happens, I...am...the Doctor. Whether you like it or not." *smile*
Well, if that was the worst they had to offer, then I think the rest of Colin's run should be fairly tolerable.
HOLY CRAP WHY WASN'T I WATCHING THIS WITH INFO-TEXT. I WAS RIGHT, THAT WAS THREE'S JACKET.
Just watched the DVD specials. I have to admit, it's really hard to not like Colin after seeing him stroking a cat in his lap on Blue Peter.
Next: Season 22: Attack of the Cybermen