Vengeance on Varos
Previous: Attack of the Cybermen
Vengeance on Varos
Man chained up is STILL flexible enough to dodge a death ray. Nice.
"When did they last show something worth watching, eh? When did we last see a decent execution?"
"Last week."
And this is TV they speak of.
There's definitely something very 1984-ish about this place and, for some reason, I love it.
"Well every time you sound confident nowadays, something terrible seems to happen." So Peri, what happened to you guys since I last saw you?
What was between this and Twin Dilemma? Just Attack of the Cybermen? What could've gone wrong? Oh wait...
"You even managed to burn dinner last night!"
"I never said I was perfect!"
Helloooooo, is this old-married-couple bickering I hear?
Huh, the main bad guy is a giant slug. AGAIN. But at least this one has a cool evil laugh.
Actually, the bigger question is "why are the guards dressed like ancient Romans?"
Is it just me, or does green = death on this show? Also, this concept of televised torture for entertainment sounds just like Videodrome.
Oh man, Sil has one of the coolest villain voices EVER.
Ah, the good ol' TARDIS manual...
"Well, ANYthing's better than being stuck here." Do you mean in space, or in the TARDIS? Six looks offended.
Hey! A creepy mask-guy who isn't Jek! And he has a machine that turns people INTO what they fear most? Color me mind-broken.
8 o'clock? So traditional time spans are still around that far into the future? And on other planets?
This execution to be postponed on account of TARDIS.
"Reporting fault on anti-hallucination helmet!" Oh come on, just because you can't shoot it repeatedly doesn't make it a hallucination.
"Hello!"
"Hi!"
"...Not interrupting anything?"
YES. WIN.
Local police surrounding your TARDIS? Just grab the nearest Big Fucking Laser Gun and fire away!
So when Six was being crazy last time I raged for him being out of character. Now I feel slightly the same with him acting like the Doctor.
THIS FRUSTRATES ME.
Hannah, you've only known Six for about 24 hours. Give him a bit of leeway, will you?
I will find it all kinds of awesome if they keep using those workers watching the TV as a framing device for the whole thing. Brilliant.
"I like that one! The one in the funny clothes!"
"The Purple Zone"? Congratulations, Doctor Who, you guys have SOMEHOW managed to make the word "purple" sound threatening out loud.
SUDDENLY! PURPLE! EVERYWHERE!
ADFLHALKSDFHDKLASFHKLADSHFKLADSHFKLDSA GIANT ACTUAL BUG
I actually kinda wish I'd watched this BEFORE Twin Dilemma, because now seeing Six being more Doctor-ish feels weird. Gah, I just can't win.
A fear of being eaten by giant animal diminished and followed by HAPPY CARNIVAL MUSIC! This is the HAPPIEST death zone EVER!
"The recordings of their agonies will sell on every civilized world!" Let's hear it for discussion-promoting material in Classic Who.
I mean seriously, there's a LOT to think about in terms of the nature of television going on here.
HEY. LOOK. THE TARDIS WAS STOLEN. AGAIN. GEE, HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS HAPPENED.
"These corridors look the same to me." Thanks for the lampshade, Peri.
Light from above! Hello...God, again?
Wow, the universe is certainly full of paranoid police states. They ALWAYS assume that the Doctor and co. are a conspiring band of rebels.
So they're going to kill Six with a desert illusion? Or roasting? Because OFF COMES THE COAT OF MANY COLORS.
Are those Fivey's suspenders? YES I DO BELIEVE THOSE ARE FIVEY'S SUSPENDERS. (oh god, I'm calling him "Fivey" now)
A holographic desert complete with a holographic Peri enjoying a holographic beverage. Wow, that IS torture.
COME ON, SIX! YOU CAN DO IT!
Well I certainly must admit that this story is redeeming Six for me, at least in the "I'm really rooting for him again" department.
Okay now they've actually got his body on a gurney? Hngggggg that image might actually haunt me for a while.
And of course everybody needs a stiff drink after that.
Naturally, HE LIVES! Because the Doctor is always immune to death unless the plot calls for it.
Wait, ACID BATH? WHY do they need to do that extra stuff to the people when they're already de...oh yeah this is a police state with TV...
"Sil's language transposer has an eccentric communication circuit. But...don't tell him, it's my only amusement."
FDAHFKLDHASFL WHAT HOLY SHIT WHY DID THEY SHOW THAT GUY WITH ALL THE ACID BURNS OH MY GOD
"Now death is my only friend, my constant and loving companion." Yikes. And he seemed like such a nice figurehead.
"I thought you were my mirror image until I realized I wasn't holding a...gun?" Hey! It's the return of not-Jek mask-guy!
Part of the fun of these commentaries is coming up with stupid nicknames for people when I can't remember (or spell) their real names.
Actually, this guy's name is Quillam which I have to admit is pretty damn cool.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my god "primitive execution" complete with monks and a priest, holy crap Britain I love you.
You know, I'm honestly not sure if this is supposed to be funny or not but I am cracking up here for serious. I mean WOW.
So the guys get killed but the girls are given over to transmutation experiments? Transformation fetish much?
Six is talking his way out of execution by offering planetary salvation in the form of obtaining more TARDIS fuel. THIS SHOW.
Woah woah woah WAIT. WHAT. SOMEBODY CUT THE ROPES.
Oh. It was just a ploy the whole time. And Six is still being rather awesome. And the governor might just be a good guy after all!
Oh god. Peri's hand. What.
What do I have a feeling that Rule 41 applies here? Goddammit, I completely blame 4chan for sending my mind in that direction...
I still find this creepy as balls, but certain corners of the internet have burned my mind forever.
Okay, shutting up now.
So what's the betting that this is yet another occasion where the Doctor saves the day with the power of SCIENCE?
"And you call yourself a research scientist??" You tell 'em, Six. ONE-UP THIS GUY WITH YOUR M@D SK1LLZ.
Ah yes, the obligatory revealing-the-scarred-face-behind-the-mask.
STAND BACK EVERYONE. DOCTOR WITH GUN. DOCTOR WITH GUN.
Well that was pretty anti-climactic. The transformations LITERALLY just un-happened JUST because they weren't finished. Come on, guys...
Martin Jarvis (the governor)...I knew that name sounded familiar. Apparently he's a regular voice actor on Cartoon Network shows.
Which is weird that I should find that name familiar, since I never really watched Cartoon Network.
Guys, Peri JUST got saved from being turned into a BIRD. HOW could she POSSIBLY already have the strength to run off and disappear?
Also, I can't believe I didn't think of this joke before: My companion is a bird. Your argument is invalid.
Ah, the old talk-the-guard-into-letting-us-go trick. That was actually a more elaborate way of talking than I've seen in these situations.
This room is GREEN. And green means DEATH.
HOLY CRAP IT WORKED. SHOOT OUT THE GREEN-DEATH-RAY-THING AND YES.
Okay, that's creepy. They're being entranced by shiny things. That happen to be illusions of them beckoning to themselves to come forward.
Six does NOT SUBMIT TO THE POWER OF SHINY THINGS.
"What should we do?"
"...Run!"
Yes, that's right guys, run from the savage men in...loin cloths...
Don't touch the tendrils? Why do I have a funny feeling somebody's going to get tendril'd in there?
"You think you could attach this string to that vine without killing yourself?"
That was one of the one things I liked about Otaking's Doctor Who: Old vs. New video: Quillam's evil grinning here.
TENDRIL'D!
SIX-AND-PERI HUG. FINALLY. 'BOUT TIME.
So the invasion is canceled because they found mineral traces on a nearby asteroid? ...wow.
"No more executions...no more torture..."
"It's all changed...we're free!"
"Are we? What shall we do?"
"I dunno..."
Wow. Now THAT was an impressive serial. Also, Six is making great strides in getting me to forgive him for The Twin Dilemma.
Next: The Mark of The Rani