The Daleks
Previous: An Unearthly Child
The Daleks
"Written by Terry Nation." Oh man, that was cool just to look at.
"There must've been a forest fire. Everything's sort of white and ashen." Including you guys. This can't be a good sign.
"We'd better keep an eye on him. He seems to have a knack of getting himself into trouble." Impressive that Ian noticed that so early on.
"Don't you think he DESERVES something to happen to him?" Oh Barbara, if only you could see what happens to him in EVERY OTHER INCARNATION.
Broken stone flower in Susan's hands. This can only mean SYMBOLISM.
BRAINY SPECS! Actually, considering this is One we're talking about, he might actually need those.
"We get it. Ian and Barbara are canon OTP..."
...is what I WOULD say If it wasn't for the fact that they're making very important companion-points for the beginning of the series.
Huh. I don't think I've ever seen One with that white hat before.
AND I THINK HE ACTUALLY JUST GOT IAN'S LAST NAME RIGHT. And I thought it was a running gag that he ALWAYS got it wrong.
*remembers what I read about those errors being inadvertent at first, they were just added in later* Oh wait...
BINOCULAR SPECS!
Uh, Susan, I have a funny feeling that now might actually be a GOOD time to scream for help.
Okay, close enough.
"Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. I'd be grateful." Wow. One's being nicer to them already!
So THAT'S the REAL TARDIS mini-fridge! Okay, so it's really a food synthesizer, but STILL.
I know I said this before but why don't we get this much exploration of TARDIS features in New Who? Some of us get curious about this stuff.
One's hair really reminds me of Albert Einstein in this episode for some reason. Maybe it's the fluffiness.
The solution to everything: Poke it with a stick.
Clean-cut and built from large geometric shapes. Yes, the people of the '60s really did think the future would look like this, didn't they?
Fake long hallways are fake. Unless they're actually mirrors.
And trapped Barbara is trapped. That's the first time I've ever seen someone put their hand on the camera lens on this show.
THERE IT IS. THERE IT IS. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. THAT IS A PLUNGER. THAT CAN ONLY MEAN...
Huh. One's hair is flat again. And, is he going to be leaning on Susan like that for much longer?
"But look at the needle! It's past the danger point!" Also supporting my theory that everyone's getting headaches from radiation poisoning.
Yup, called it.
Woah. Wait. One LIED about the mercury fluid link just so he could explore the city? And now everyone has radiation sickness. Great.
"You. will. move. a-head of us. and follow. my. directions. This. way."
Okay, I've tried to keep the language to a PG/PG-13 level lately, but this is a special occasion that merits a special s'plosion:
FUCK YEAH DALEKS. WE HAVE DALEKS UP IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER. DALEKS. DA. LEKS. DAAAAAAAAAAAALEEEEEEEEEEEEEKS.
Wait wait what was that. Ian tried to run from DALEKS who spewed oil for some reason which paralyzed his legs? Wh-what?
That may be the first and last time I hear a Dalek say "Help him."
"Do you think there's...someone inside them?"
*Susan-laugh*
Oh sure, you laugh now...but YOU JUST WAIT...
Wow. The Dalek voices from the old Classics sound a lot like the Cybermen voices in New Who, in that they're a PERFECT monotone.
Honestly, I hope this changes in later serials. I much prefer it when they actually have inflections and some semblance of personality.
That also may be the first and last time I hear the phrase "Dalek forefathers."
"It's possible that they might've been anti-radiation gloves...drugs." Ah yes, the good ol' Hartnell Fluffs...
I don't think the TARDIS was ever described as having NEARLY that complex a defense mechanism.
C'mon, Susan, you can do it! Be a little more useful for once.
Okay, so making that accusation so early in the series is a little harsh, but still.
Considering how sweaty they all look, it wouldn't surprise me if they actually had the temperature turned up.
Then again, back then that would probably damage equipment.
Attagirl, Susan! Just watch out for that Mysterious Cloaked Thing that's following you.
"There. is. no. help. we can give. him." Wait. Wait. WAIT. IS IT JUST ME OR WAS THAT DALEK SHOWING SOME GLIMMER RESEMBLING COMPASSION.
Alright Susan, you made it back to the TARDIS! Go ahead, hug that vitally important case of drugs. Hug it.
So apparently the Thals have mutated into HUMANS. *le gasp*
Or maybe they didn't mutate at all. Either way, what's with the cloaks that look like giant metal turtle-shell shower curtains?
"They. are. as-king. for. wa-ter."
"Give. them. some."
I have to admit, these are some remarkably cooperative Daleks.
Huh. I'm surprised they didn't show Susan's return trip. But suddenly we're back with the Daleks and everybody's being cured...
...and now the Daleks know everything. Also, I'm a little surprised that they have a concept of a "false sense of security."
Dalek with a tray of food and water. I keep expecting it to go "WOULD. YOU. CARE. FOR. SOME. TEA?" at any second.
"We. have. brought. you. food. and. some more. wa-ter." Okay, close enough.
I'm a little surprised that the Daleks have a concept of lying, too.
Wow. Even in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, it's still perfectly normal for women to run around in mini-skirts.
Would it be stupid of me to ask what Classic Who's obsession with mini-skirts was? Or is "it was the '60s/'70s/'80s" a sufficient answer?
"But the Daleks were teachers, weren't they?"
"Yes they were. And philosophers."
...WOW. THAT is new.
Guys. The Daleks are basically making Susan write a grocery list for them. I mean yes it's a lie and a trap for the Thals, but still.
Awww, the Daleks don't seem to quite understand the concept of a name.
"I tell you, the Daleks are brilliant people. I think we should cooperate with them!" The last thing I EVER expected to hear the Doctor say.
Oh, so I guess that struggle was just a ruse to get Susan up high enough to rip out the surveillance camera.
Hey kids! It's time for a SCIENCE LESSON! Today's subject: static electricity and how it can be used to power a Dalek! (Seriously, what?)
"They hope that they can work with us to build a new and safe world free from the fear of war." Now if only we could've heard them say that.
NO. IAN. WAIT. YOU'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE WITH THAT "LET'S THROW SOMETHING OVER THE DALEK'S EYESTALK" IDEA.
Barbara's made an improvement: sticking MUD on the Dalek's eyestalk.
"Keep. away from me. KEEP. AWAY FROM ME. KEEP. AWAY FROM ME." I don't remember Daleks making those beeping sounds. Maybe that's the door...
So apparently pre-Davros Daleks were, in fact, powered by electricity. There you have it, folks: electric-powered Daleks.
Okay, clearly there's something inside the Dalek that they don't want us to see. Is it the same blob we know from later stories?
Ian is disguising himself as a Dalek. Complete with the voice modifier. And everyone laughs. Wow. I'm sorry, that's pretty damn awesome.
It is the same blob. There was the tentacle. And thanks to the episode "Dalek," I had a pity-moan when I saw it. Poor thing.
Poor lying deceitful megalomaniacal creepy thing, but still.
Also, Ian's Dalek voice might just be the best thing. It must be heard to be believed. For serious.
By the way, I know it's traditional to type Dalek dialogue in allcaps but these Daleks don't really sound like they're screaming every line.
Okay, NOW the Dalek voices are starting to sound a little more like shouting. Also, HOW did Ian blow up that Dalek shell?
Oh wait he's a science teacher and there must be wires and circuitry and everything and yes...
Alright, here's your caps-lock Daleks: "MAKE. NO. ATTEMPT. TO CAP-TURE. THEM. THEY. MUST. BE. EX-TER-MIN-ATED."
Oh god, this is going to be a HUGE drain on my Twitter character count if I keep using all those periods and hyphens...
"I shall speak to them peacefully. They'll see that I'm unarmed. There's no better argument against war than that." Um...not for Daleks.
Some of that food looks suspiciously like rolls of toilet paper.
Oh. No way. The Daleks do NOT have a backing-up alarm. No. Just, no.
So FINALLY somebody gets EX-TER-MI-NA-TED and yet there's been no cry of "EX-TER-MIN-ATE." Just "FIRE."
"You know, these records must go back nearly half a million years."
"Yes, the complete history of our planet Skaro is here."
500,000 years?
And what got it into my head that this might NOT be Skaro? Oh wait, probably just that they'd never mentioned it until now.
"They can't be the Daleks. They told us they couldn't come out of the city." We thought they couldn't climb stairs, either.
It bugs me just a little bit that they keep referring to the TARDIS as simply "the ship."
"Why destroy without any apparent thought or reason? That's what I don't understand." There's a very simple explanation: they're DALEKS.
So we get to see the ancestral Thals but not the ancestral Daleks? Who apparently weren't Kaleds but "Dals" back then?
Let's hear it for RETCONNING!
So the Daleks took an essential part for TARDIS functioning from Ian and he CONVENIENTLY NEGLECTED TO TELL US THIS UNTIL NOW?
Well, I think now we know how they got this serial to go for 3 more episodes...
"Well at least you're not vindictive."
"Well I WILL be if you don't get my name right."
"But the Thals WON'T fight! They're AGAINST war!"
"My dear child, this is NO TIME FOR MORALS!"
*sigh* Oh One, at least you've got a point...
"Help. Can-not con-trol. CAN-NOT CONTROL. HELP ME. HELP ME. HELP! HELP!! HEEELP!!! AAAHHH...AAAHHH..." Guys what are you doing to that Dalek
Oh wait, they weren't doing anything to it. It was just the anti-radiation drug.
Oh Cold War era, you and your constant dread of nuclear warfare...
Being born in '91, I basically JUST missed the end of that time.
The swamp...it's alive...IT'S ALIIIIIIVE...
Dude, don't stick your leg near the water and turn your head away. Like I just said, the swamp is ALIIIIIIIIIVE.
Told ya. Also, the next episode is called "The Ordeal." Wouldn't that describe, like, every episode of Doctor Who ever?
If I didn't know better, I'd say those were floating Netflix sleeves swirling around in the water.
The best old-fashioned method of long-distance communication: sunlight and large shiny things.
Plot-convenient rock-fall is plot-convenient.
So the ENTIRE CITY is powered by static electricity that comes from ONE CABLE? Defeating the Daleks just started sounding a whole lot easier
"The key of the ship, dear! I can always make another one if necessary." Which begs the question, how will you get BACK IN THE TARDIS?
You do not make small s'plosions with Dalek 'lectrics. They will get their revenge at Christmas.
That might just be the most obscure DDR reference I ever make in my entire life.
You know, some stuff in this episode is taking so long that I can't help but wonder if this is an instructional video for ambushing Daleks.
I mean, seriously, we don't need to see EVERY DETAIL of their trek through the caves.
"THE. ON-LY. INTEREST. WE. HAVE. IN THE THALS. IS THEIR. TOTAL. EX-TER-MIN-A-TION."
"What do you mean?"
Susan, it means that they're DALEKS.
"TO-MO-RROW, WE. WILL. BE. THE MA-STERS. OF. SKA-RO." So apparently, raising plungers is the Dalek equivalent of "Heil Hitler."
Considering the Daleks were evocative of the German war machine in WWII, that actually makes a considerable amount of sense.
This would've made an excellent add-my-own-New-Who-music scene if I'd thought of it earlier. Silent tension doesn't always cut it for me.
Okay, so now we're nearing the end of the episode and there's a faint drum beat starting in the background...
The last guy is about to drag Ian down into the pit with him. CALLED IT.
Got distracted by something relevant on YouTube. Thank you, Eddie Izzard.
And he's gone. Loud crash was loud.
So the Daleks are going to unleash another radiation blast with...an inkblot test? Okay...
"Can't you see there isn't any SENSE in it anymore!" I was thinking the same thing.
It bothers me a little that the Thals can be swayed to return to their warriors roots WITHOUT knowing the full scope of the Dalek's plans.
And now they have literally less than a minute to save everybody. In other words, GET BARBARA OUT FROM UNDER THAT DOOR.
"7...6...5..." OH MY GOD GUYS STOP RIDING THE DALEKS AND TURN OFF THE NUKE THAT'S GOING TO KILL YOU ALL.
Oh Daleks, you're so shove-able. And...I don't think I've ever seen one with its eyestalk sticking straight up. Well, it's dead anyway.
"If only there'd been...some other way." Unfortunately, these are the Daleks we're talking about. There IS no "other way." Usually.
"You wanted advice, you said? I never give it. Never. But I might just say this to you: Always search for truth. My truth is in the stars."
D'aaaawwwww, I knew Barbara and that guy had a thing for each other. But the series likes to remind us that she belongs with IAN.
And then there was a TARDIS S'PLOSION!
Next: The Edge of Destruction