SHORT STORY
I'm mega bored, so here's the only piece of fiction I have written.....
The Diary of Jessica Thomson
By Courtney Leak
~Tonight’s late-breaking story is about the shocking suicides of best friends Tracy Winston and Jessica Thomson earlier this evening. Jessica took her life this afternoon in her home and her best friend Tracy’s suicide followed at the lake shortly after Jessica was declared dead at the hospital. Friends of the girls report that the two were “always happy and always together”. Investigators currently have no leads on what led to the suicides of these two girls. They will be greatly missed by their friends and families.
~Police have still found no leads on the tragic murder of Richard Farley three weeks ago. Investigations of all three deaths shall persist until answers have been found. Stay tuned for the latest news on finding a cure for cancer.~
*click* The television screen went black and the house was silent as Reverend Thomson sat on the living room couch with bloodshot eyes and tearstained cheeks. He’d been crying since he’d come home that afternoon to find his daughter’s lifeless corpse dangling from the banister of the main foyer. He cried tears of both anguish and guilt over the death of his beloved daughter.
* * * * *
“Reverend, did you know that your daughter kept a journal?” I asked. We were there to search Jess’s room for any clues that might lead to the cause of her suicide.
“No, I had no idea. Do you think it will have any clues as to why she suddenly killed herself?” he asked.
“That’s what we are hoping.” I said as I opened the journal to a random page and began to read from it:
We share a love unmatched. The kind of love people only dream of. A love so great not even we can understand it. Young love with far more depth than that of a couple married forty years. We started as friends, and since, we have become inseparable lovers. There is nothing that I would rather do than spend every waking moment in her arms. It is with her that I feel complete and happy. The only thing about our love is that we cannot share it with the world. I wish that I could just tell everyone how I feel about her. One day I will. One day I will stop being afraid of society and I will just follow my heart completely.
~~Jessica Thomson~~
April 2
“Did you have any idea that your daughter was in love, Reverend?”
“None at all. Jessica wasn’t allowed to have boyfriends. She was raised to be abstinent.“ he answered.
“Well, it sounds like she didn’t have a boyfriend at all. Did you have any idea that your daughter had a girlfriend?” I asked.
“That is a lie! My daughter was brought up with a strong Christian background! How dare you insult me like that? Where is your heart? I just lost my only daughter and you want to come in here with your jabberwocky. Get out of my house!”
* * * * *
I can’t believe that our anniversary is coming up. Next Friday it will have been three years since we started going out. Three years is a long time. We’ve come a long way in the five years that we’ve known each other. I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. It was one hot August afternoon by the pool at the Christian Youth Convention. My father had forced me to attend the convention because his church was hosting it and because he thought I could learn a few things about the Bible if I went. Well, we met because we were the only two there who couldn’t swim, so we both sat on the edge of the pool with our feet in the water. The other kids splashed us until we were soaked. We finally got up from the pool and went for a walk around the wooded campgrounds. While walking, we talked a bit and upon getting to know one another found we had a lot in common. We became friends almost instantly.
I wasn’t initially attracted to her. I never thought that I’d have a girlfriend. One thing I learned from the Bible is of some abominations and how God punished sodomites. Those were the days of my early teens when I had not yet found myself. How young and gullible I was. I believed all that my father said was in the Bible. I tried to live a life of purity and innocence. If God said it was a sin, then I was not to be found doing it. It wasn’t until I started high school that I began questioning everything. My father practically hated me that year. He enforced so many rules for me to follow. One of those rules that holds out to this day is the one about having a boyfriend. I never broke that one.
One of these days I will tell my father about us. I don’t know how he’ll react, being the strict Christian man he is. Tracy’s always worrying me about when we will go public. We are tired of living lives of secrecy. If society was more accepting then I would come out in a heartbeat, but unfortunately it’s not that simple. So for now we shall be best friends to the world and lovers to ourselves.
~~Jessica Thomson~~
April 3
* * * * *
“Thus far in the case, all we have to go by is what is written in Jessica’s journal. From that, we know that she and Tracy were more than best friends. Perhaps the reason she killed herself is because someone found out about them and she couldn’t handle it.” I suggested to my team of investigators. Right now the only clues we have are what lies between the lines of this journal.
“That does, in fact, sound like a plausible hypothesis. I just say that we find more evidence before we jump to conclusions.” responded Jones, one of my best investigators, “I say we go to the school and interrogate some friends. Jessica was a cheerleader and Tracy was in the Honor Society. We start questioning those students about the two of them, their relationship and any peculiar behaviors in the past few days.”
* * * * *
We went to the movies tonight. It was really nice. I enjoyed myself. I love it when we get to go out like a normal couple. We met up with a bunch of our friends at the movie theater. Everyone was paired up on dates holding hands and stuff. Tracy and I walked arm in arm instead of hand in hand. Somehow no one thinks anything if we walk that way.
~~Jessica Thomson~~
April 4
* * * * *
“Ashley what can you tell us about Jessica and/or Tracy and their friendship?”
“Well, Jessica was one of my best friends on the cheering squad. We always hung out together outside of school. She and Tracy were best friends. The two were together 24/7. They’ve been friends since I met them Freshman year. I’ve never seen them apart in the four years I’ve known them. Sometimes I envied their friendship. Tracy was such a good friend to Jessica, you know, the kind everyone should have.” Ashley responded.
“Did you notice anything strange about their relationship in the last week or so before their deaths? Was either of them acting strangely?” I asked.
“About three weeks ago, they were acting strangely one afternoon at lunch because Jessica had a hickey on her neck.”
* * * * *
Daddy went out last night, so I had the house to myself for a while. I called Tracy at work and made her promise to come by. When she arrived, I met her at the door in a black negligee and a seductive grin. She knew I was trying to seduce her. We started with soft kisses and then she overtook me and brought me to ecstasy. Laying there naked in her arms was the most wonderful feeling in the world. She held me in her arms and I felt so warm and safe. I felt her watching me until I fell asleep in her arms.
The next morning wasn’t as good. We overslept and Daddy woke us up. I locked my door, but he has a key to my door. After finding the door locked, he unlocked it and opened it just as Tracy jumped out of bed to put on her clothes. He was surprised to see her and we were surprised to see him. That was very close. We had almost been caught. I mean, its not like Tracy hasn’t slept over before, but had he walked in a few moments earlier, he would have seen us sleeping together with Tracy’s arms around me and no clothes on either of us. That was too close.
~~Jessica Thomson~~
April 5
We got carried away last night. Ashley pointed out a hickey on my neck at school. Tracy was so upset in school today when she realized it. But, she wasn’t as upset as my dad was when he saw it. I was downstairs at the computer typing my paper when he walked by and saw it. He was furious. I couldn’t believe he’d seen it. There was so much pain in his eyes that all I felt was guilt. I couldn’t believe that out of all things, I had hurt my father. I love my father more than anything and the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt him. He made assumptions about the origins of the hickey. He swore on the Bible that I had some ‘filthy boy’ taking my purity. He went on about how I had betrayed him and committed the ultimate sin and needed to repent. He began praying instantaneously. The guilt built up on my conscience brought tears to my eyes. I lost all ability to focus on anything other than the pain I had caused my father. I went to my room and cried for the rest of the evening. As I lie here in tears, I wish I was the innocent daughter he wants me to be.
The last three years have been hard on both Tracy and I. We have had to keep our relationship a secret from the world while keeping it strong for ourselves. All this time of hiding, I think the time has come for us to leave the seclusion of the closet and make our relationship public.
~~Jessica Thomson~~
April 5
* * * * *
“This journal is telling us more than any person is able to tell us. Especially since both of the girls who would be able to tell us anything are already dead.” said one of the investigators.
“If you notice, there were two journal entries for the fifth of April. Check to see if there are any more to follow.” I demanded.
The investigator flipped through a couple pages of the journal before giving his response, “There’s one more for this day. It has a few areas where I assume there were dried tears. This must have been a hard day for her.
* * * * *
Today has to be, by far, the worst day of my life. I called Tracy because Daddy knows about the hickey. She was at work, but she left early to come comfort me. I wonder now that perhaps if she didn’t care so much she wouldn’t have come at all and none of this would have happened. It’s done. It’s over. The secret’s out. My father knows about us. It wasn’t her fault despite her incessantly blaming herself for ‘ruining my life.’ I was in tears because as you know, my father had just been heartbroken because of me. She is my lover and it is her nature to comfort me when I need comforting. She did what any lover would have done, she held me. If anything, its my fault. All she did was react to my provocations. In my time of hurt and turmoil, all I could do was think about myself. As she held me, I wanted, needed to be held. I wanted to feel loved by someone. I shouldn‘t have kissed her then. I shouldn‘t have been so selfish. Had I not kissed her, he couldn‘t have walked in on anything. He wouldn’t know right now. I broke and then shattered my father’s heart all in one day. He will never trust me again. I just don’t understand how it is against the word of his God for man to lie with man and woman to lie with woman. I cannot help how I feel. If it is forbidden, then why would his God make people like me? Without Tracy I am nothing. And now Daddy had banned her from our home.
~~Jessica Thomson~~
April 5
* * * * *
“If I’m not mistaken, I remember the Reverend being outraged when we asked him if he knew his daughter was a lesbian.” said the young investigator.
“Indeed, he was.” responded his colleague.
“And if I’m not mistaken, I remember just reading an excerpt from his daughter’s journal saying that he had found out about her relationship with Tracy.” he said again.
“Correct you are again.” responded his colleague once more.
* * * * *
I spent my evening pondering on the case. I took the journal home with me that evening to read some more of it. Some of the things I found were unbearable even for me to read. After fifteen years in this investigation profession, I have found that there never ceases to be things to surprise me in the world.
I haven’t been to school since last Wednesday. It is now Tuesday. My days have been spent thinking about my situation. I want to be with Tracy, but I don’t want to hurt my father any more than I have. I am torn between my love for my father and my love for her. What am I to do? I have spoken to her only a few times in these last few days. Our anniversary is this Friday. I really want to spend the entire day with her and have the wonderful anniversary that we planned. Somehow I don’t think that is going to happen right now since Daddy has gone to extremes to ‘rebuke the demons inside of his daughter.’ He is forcing me to go to the Spring Dance on Friday with that kid Robert from next door. That boy is strange. He always seems to be around when I go out. He’s lived next door for six years. Maybe its just me, but he seems a little creepy. Anyway, as I was saying, I am going to try to find a way out of going to the dance. I haven’t told Tracy about it yet. I know she won’t be too thrilled to hear it.
~~Jessica Thomson~~
April 11
I spoke to Tracy early this morning before Daddy woke up. I was right and she was upset that we aren’t going to spend today together. I know that a three year anniversary only comes around once, but there was no way for me to get out of going to the dance with Robert this evening. At school I gave her a card and had three dozen pink, white, and red roses delivered to the school for her. She was glowing for the entire day. When I got to my locker I found a box with a ring inside that is inscribed with © Tracy loves Jess© . It is so beautiful. She said that it is her promise ring that she will be with me forever.
I think that some of the kids around school looked at us funny today since we were both walking around with gifts and huge smiles. I’m sure that some of them realized that we had given gifts to one another. Just as I am sure that someone other than the two of us knows about our relationship. But, today has been a happy day so far and I don’t care what the world thinks.
~~Jessica Thomson~~
April 13
* * * * *
“Did you notice anything strange about Jessica at the dance on Friday?” I asked Ashley.
“Well, she didn’t seem very happy to be there, but she came. She looked absolutely gorgeous. She was with me for most of the night. We were walking around taking pictures of everyone we knew and dancing a few times, you know.”
* * * * *
HE RAPED ME!! THE BASTARD RAPED ME!!
~Jess~
Fri 4/13
Robert hasn’t been home since the bastard raped me and abandoned me in an old schoolyard. I haven’t been to school in about a week. I’ve been home falling into deep depression trying to figure out what I should do. I don’t want to live like this. I wish that Tracy and I could just run away from here and be together. I’ve been afraid to leave the house and Tracy hasn’t left the corner. She’s been waiting outside of Robert’s house for him to return. She wants him to suffer just as much as I do. I shouldn’t have gone to the dance. I shouldn’t have let Daddy force me into going.
~Jessica~
April 19
He came back! I don’t think he made it into the house though. In the middle of the night I heard two gun shots and when I looked out of the window, Tracy’s car was gone. A few moments later I heard sirens. This morning on the news Robert was pronounced dead. She got him. They don’t know who did it though. I spoke to Tracy a little while ago. She’d going to be keeping away from this side of town for a little while. I love her. She wasn’t lying when she said that she’d do anything for me.
~Jessica Thomson~
April 21
It has been a week and a half since Robert’s murder and I haven’t seen Tracy. Part of that is due to the fact that I haven’t been to school in since the day of the dance. I haven’t felt well at all these past few days. I’ve been nauseous for about three days now. I think I’ll go see the doctor tomorrow.
~Jessica Thomson~
April 29
The doctor told me I’m pregnant. I can’t believe he raped me and got me pregnant. I hate him. What am I supposed to do now? The child wouldn’t have a father and my father would be so ashamed. Although, if it weren’t for him none of this would have happened. I can’t blame him for his stringent religious devotion. If his God doesn’t accept homosexuality, then I can’t expect him to.
I have to tell Tracy about this. I don’t know what I’m going to say to her though. Dad’s leaving later, I’ll tell her to come by.
~Jessica Thomson~
April 30
I told Tracy. I told her that I love her. I really love her. I wish that we could be together. I wish none of this ever happened. I wish this didn’t have to happen. I’m sorry.
J Thomson
* * * * *
This was the last entry in the journal, but there was a loose sheet of paper in the back of the book. It was handwritten on fancy pink stationery with black ink:
April 30
I am sorry that it has to come to this. But, I feel that I can no longer go on living my life like this. I am with child. The child of a man who raped me. A man who raped me because my father forced me to go out with him. All of this because his God cannot accept me as I am. I do not believe in abortion, so instead of killing the child, I will kill myself and in turn, the child will be gone too. To Tracy: I love you and I am sorry that we couldn’t be together. To Daddy: I love you too. It was this love for you that made me see that I could no longer hurt you. This is the final pain and I will never hurt you again.
Jessica Thomson
August 7, 1985 until April 30, 2003
“Guys, we don’t have anyone to convict. The murderer is dead and the rapist is dead too. We have a devout Christian man who wanted what he thought was best for his daughter. What was best turned out to be what was worst.” I said to my team.
“Does someone care to tell this man that the reason his daughter killed herself was because he tried to force her to be what she was not. Would someone like to do the honors of making this man suffer for the rest of his life or would you like to just tell him that her journal didn’t give enough information to draw a conclusion about his daughter’s motive for suicide.”