I am not putting down the content. This to me just seems like prose broken up. there isnt really anything in it to me that sparks it to be deemd as poetry reather than prose and becuase of that the line breaks are wierd.
But. sometimes i just get picky about this type of stuff and i think right now is oneof those times.
yea it isnt very good to me eitherilovepoetry725June 5 2005, 17:48:28 UTC
i agree it isnt very good and yea i didnt know if i could post bad content in here but i figured it wasnt too bad and why not take a chance??? This was very free-form and not my best but what can you do???
Typically lists do not make good poems, I am tempted to say they don't make a poem at all. Especially when there is a lack of concrete imagery. Abstractions in poetry rarely turn out good and thsi poem is basically definitions of an abstraction. Start small, don't try to tackle love in one poem. Instead write about an old woman helping her feeble husband eat soup or something like that, something that calls for strong interesting images. The language in this poem fails to excite or draw the reader in. This is I think in part due to the lack of voice. It sounds like a sex-ed discussion more than an insight into one of the greatest human emotions.
So basically: put aside abstractions, start small, use strong, interesting images, try to say something never said before.
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This to me just seems like prose broken up. there isnt really anything in it to me that sparks it to be deemd as poetry reather than prose and becuase of that the line breaks are wierd.
But. sometimes i just get picky about this type of stuff and i think right now is oneof those times.
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So basically: put aside abstractions, start small, use strong, interesting images, try to say something never said before.
It's hard, poetry is hard. Good luck.
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