I've fallen and I can't get up

[woodsmans_wife]

I'm in somewhat of a slumo with my writing, it all seems like crap to me but I can't figure out how to fix it. That being said, comments are greatly appreciated!

Comments

[majestic_lies]

SOrry that i didnt do this before. ive just been really lazy. heh.

I really like it. its just that i cant quite pinpoint what the blankness is supposed to mean.

[woodsmans_wife]

The blankness, in a literal sense refers to the blank lines on records due to the lack of a name and the inability for one to perceive one's face w/o a mirror. But it also refers to a lack of identity.

[forgottenevil]

we feel like we want to know whether this is an ongoing issue faced, or was it only in youth.

however we did enjoy the whole 'perception without mirror'.

it instantly drew us in with the ...harshness of the first stanza. brilliantly done.
also unlike many other poems, it didnt just flop after the first initial draw in.
rather, the mood just changed without disapointing.

cant specify why, but such a great feeling of sorrow, hopelessness and desperation.

....us

nice rythm

[buckshot_mc]

I think of it like a memory your wanting to express.
Maybe reference your name on the last line?