show me how it's done

[cleartempest]

Here’s some D18 I wrote today when I saw istrill post about how Undisclosed Desires reminded her of the pairing and I was like “afkldsg CANNOT UNHEAR ♥” XDD

Comments

[cleartempest]

I-I take it you liked? *w* or maybe it just depressed the heck out of you afkjsfd >:

[azurecerulean]

"Dino had once prayed for relief from addiction. Divine intervention resulted in a decade of not-meetings, occurrences that were indirect and certainly not physical. He couldn’t do it again. It only left him turning the loneliness of all the sunsets he spent without him into raw desire." Aww, poor Dino...

"Hands travel up his chest, Dino he shudders because Kyouya tastes as bittersweet as he imagined." Shouldn't there be commas, dashes or one word to delete here?

If they haven't met each other for 10 years, wouldn't it be nicer to expand the end for a more dramatic effect?

[cleartempest]

Fixed! Omfg, thanks for bringing that to my attention XD

wouldn't it be nicer to expand the end for a more dramatic effect?
XD haha I don't know if I wanted it to be dramatic, but I did think it could make for something very...hot. It is still a work in progress, though, so maybe I'll sit down and write it sometime. :3

[theprerogative]

Your writing makes me want to believe.

[cleartempest]

kdlhfd Christine, I don't even know what to say ;; such kind words ♥

[tragicallyditch]

aww, dino! :( ♥
i love his inner conflict ahaha, he's like a lost little boy here
and hibari is a cute jackass as usual

lmao it sounds like you wrote it at 3AM! but that's not a bad thing XD ♥♥♥

[cleartempest]

haha, XD Dino you're not looking for direction in the right places.

wahhh XDD LOL probably because it's just all over the place and 'wtf did I just read,' huh? XD I'm not good at knowing how much detail to write out, so especially not at 3 am.

[icedcandy]

BRB FINISHING HOMEWORK THEN I WILL READ

[cleartempest]

XD OK~

[icedcandy]

I READ IT. AND OHMYGOSH. The angst (this is angst, right? everything looks like angst to me) only makes it hotter.

[cleartempest]

Thank youuu
Angst just looks good on this pairing ;w;