AU October - what do you fear the most?
I've had plenty of fears over the past few years. Be it zap collars in the hands of any Pylean except Lorne, Angelus, demon goddesses who want to make me their worship slave, or portals opening up randomly when I'm walking down the street. A lot of things have happened and I've feared them happening again. Now? I don't really much care if they did. Zap collars .... well, let's just say I have a higher tolerance for pain these days. Jasmine isn't likely to come back. There's always the portal thing but I'm better equipped to take care of myself, plus I know a thing or two about getiting back from said portal hell of caves and multiple suns.
Then there's Angelus. I don't exactly "fear" him anymore. After all, the damage has already been done right? That fear came true with a big pointy, teethy bang. Sometimes I think I worry about what he'd think of me now. Not fear exactly... no, there's a whole different set of feelings I have towards Angelus now that definitely don't include fear. Though I guess I'd be worried, as my sire, he'd be disappointed. Whatever though, right? He'd gotten a soul stuffed into him way more than I had. So far anyway.
A lot's happened over the past few weeks even since Spike and I came back to the apartment. The big one? Faith and Angel coming back. Let's not even get started on how I wouldn't know how to act or what to say to Angel if and when I see him again. But Faith.. I wouldn't know where to start. What would I say to her? Hi, Faith I'm glad you're back from hell and guess what Connor gave me a spiffy new soul would you be my girlfriend again since I can't get you out of my damn mind for five minutes?
Apparently, I watch her long enough so that I can't stand it anymore and follow her to a bar, waiting outside like.. Angel. I really had no idea what I was doing. I wanted to make a run for it, but I couldn't force myself. I really must be embracing the masochistisc family tree now because the one person I feared the most was about to walk outside that door and look me in the face. I was terrified at finally knowing what she thought of me. Spike and Angel were different and I knew that. I might be apart of the soul club, but she knew me before I was turned. She knew me when I didn't a have a soul.
More than anything, I feared the look on of disgust on her face that might show up the second she saw me standing there.
[Open to Faith]
Then there's Angelus. I don't exactly "fear" him anymore. After all, the damage has already been done right? That fear came true with a big pointy, teethy bang. Sometimes I think I worry about what he'd think of me now. Not fear exactly... no, there's a whole different set of feelings I have towards Angelus now that definitely don't include fear. Though I guess I'd be worried, as my sire, he'd be disappointed. Whatever though, right? He'd gotten a soul stuffed into him way more than I had. So far anyway.
A lot's happened over the past few weeks even since Spike and I came back to the apartment. The big one? Faith and Angel coming back. Let's not even get started on how I wouldn't know how to act or what to say to Angel if and when I see him again. But Faith.. I wouldn't know where to start. What would I say to her? Hi, Faith I'm glad you're back from hell and guess what Connor gave me a spiffy new soul would you be my girlfriend again since I can't get you out of my damn mind for five minutes?
Apparently, I watch her long enough so that I can't stand it anymore and follow her to a bar, waiting outside like.. Angel. I really had no idea what I was doing. I wanted to make a run for it, but I couldn't force myself. I really must be embracing the masochistisc family tree now because the one person I feared the most was about to walk outside that door and look me in the face. I was terrified at finally knowing what she thought of me. Spike and Angel were different and I knew that. I might be apart of the soul club, but she knew me before I was turned. She knew me when I didn't a have a soul.
More than anything, I feared the look on of disgust on her face that might show up the second she saw me standing there.
[Open to Faith]