Wheel of Morality turn, turn, turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn.
This is
going to be a long one so if you really want to read it…
So drama has reared it's ugly head once again. Apparently someone told my ex, Diana, that I had slept with a good, LESBIAN friend of mine, Tay. While Tay and I had been talking quite a bit during the night in question, we did not have sex. Now for those that don't know, Diana and I dated a few years ago but she has never lost her feelings for me and because we had been best friends beforehand for like 4 years, I was stupid enough to try to keep a friendship going and stay around and drama has lasted since. Well needless to say that she got very angry and was confronting Tay and myself about this, unfortunately Tay first. This has become an issue though because a few days beforehand Tay's uncle had been shot and killed and she has been very sad about the whole thing because it was her favorite uncle and they had a good relationship. Her confronting Tay at a time like that has angered me along with a few other people which find Diana's actions inconsiderate. The problem is that that she thinks that she did no wrong and the she had full justification to get angry at us. Thus multiple friends of mine have been talking to me about and saying how bad it was and I have been worried as hell about what is going to happen between them and Diana along with how Tay has been. While the emotions of the event have started to pass now, I find it irritating to know that if I should ever develop any feelings for a girl that has befriended Diana beforehand, then there is a huge chance that they will never date me. I firmly believe that any past relationships that I have had are in the past and if a good male friends wants to date a ex, then I would give them the best of luck. I wish more people would see that philosophy, but so many gain a jealousy at the thought of it happening. That’s a pet peeve of mine though and some people just won’t agree. That’s the way it works.
Another thing that has been on my mind over the last couple days is my drug use during the break. During the break I experimented with a few drugs and had some enlightening experiences along with some slightly frightening. I have always been frightened to consume drugs in the past because of ill knowledge, living with my parents and certain responsibilities that I held at the time. This last break though I let myself loose and experimented with experienced friends of mine. The experiences were great and I found much enjoyment through out those times. There was one lingering thought that haunted me though. During the last trip I had I was sitting and having a great conversation when my visions started to get shaky and words started to come out of my mouth that I was fully conscience of saying but could not control at all. I started to freak out at first, but my friends slowly brought me back at a calm and happy state. The reason this worried me though was because my demeanor is only a portion of my nature. I am a very passionate person by nature and can be passionate about pretty much everything. I also have many hungering wants that I regress because in my normal state I think it wrong to indulge in them. When I felt like I was losing control of myself at that point though, I was worried because I there are things that if my nature took control without my mind holding it back, I could go nuts and do many things I don’t truly want to and would dreadfully regret later. On the flip-side of the coin though I had multiple things I learned about myself that without that released moment of reflection I would never have opened my eyes to see. I also have been much more relaxed and happy more often since those experiences, really enjoying life to a greater extent. The experiences did reinforce the original idea I had about drug use; it is not s terrible thing to do if done amongst knowledgeable friends and not consumed often.
Well those were the two big things I wanted to get off my chest. Wish me luck for the coming semester.
And the moral is: People in glass houses should get dressed with the lights out.
So drama has reared it's ugly head once again. Apparently someone told my ex, Diana, that I had slept with a good, LESBIAN friend of mine, Tay. While Tay and I had been talking quite a bit during the night in question, we did not have sex. Now for those that don't know, Diana and I dated a few years ago but she has never lost her feelings for me and because we had been best friends beforehand for like 4 years, I was stupid enough to try to keep a friendship going and stay around and drama has lasted since. Well needless to say that she got very angry and was confronting Tay and myself about this, unfortunately Tay first. This has become an issue though because a few days beforehand Tay's uncle had been shot and killed and she has been very sad about the whole thing because it was her favorite uncle and they had a good relationship. Her confronting Tay at a time like that has angered me along with a few other people which find Diana's actions inconsiderate. The problem is that that she thinks that she did no wrong and the she had full justification to get angry at us. Thus multiple friends of mine have been talking to me about and saying how bad it was and I have been worried as hell about what is going to happen between them and Diana along with how Tay has been. While the emotions of the event have started to pass now, I find it irritating to know that if I should ever develop any feelings for a girl that has befriended Diana beforehand, then there is a huge chance that they will never date me. I firmly believe that any past relationships that I have had are in the past and if a good male friends wants to date a ex, then I would give them the best of luck. I wish more people would see that philosophy, but so many gain a jealousy at the thought of it happening. That’s a pet peeve of mine though and some people just won’t agree. That’s the way it works.
Another thing that has been on my mind over the last couple days is my drug use during the break. During the break I experimented with a few drugs and had some enlightening experiences along with some slightly frightening. I have always been frightened to consume drugs in the past because of ill knowledge, living with my parents and certain responsibilities that I held at the time. This last break though I let myself loose and experimented with experienced friends of mine. The experiences were great and I found much enjoyment through out those times. There was one lingering thought that haunted me though. During the last trip I had I was sitting and having a great conversation when my visions started to get shaky and words started to come out of my mouth that I was fully conscience of saying but could not control at all. I started to freak out at first, but my friends slowly brought me back at a calm and happy state. The reason this worried me though was because my demeanor is only a portion of my nature. I am a very passionate person by nature and can be passionate about pretty much everything. I also have many hungering wants that I regress because in my normal state I think it wrong to indulge in them. When I felt like I was losing control of myself at that point though, I was worried because I there are things that if my nature took control without my mind holding it back, I could go nuts and do many things I don’t truly want to and would dreadfully regret later. On the flip-side of the coin though I had multiple things I learned about myself that without that released moment of reflection I would never have opened my eyes to see. I also have been much more relaxed and happy more often since those experiences, really enjoying life to a greater extent. The experiences did reinforce the original idea I had about drug use; it is not s terrible thing to do if done amongst knowledgeable friends and not consumed often.
Well those were the two big things I wanted to get off my chest. Wish me luck for the coming semester.
And the moral is: People in glass houses should get dressed with the lights out.