ramblings...

[clipmywings]

I don't know what to do... I don't know how I feel either. That's kinda rare I think, not being aware of your own state. I think I'm just going to have dinner or something, focus on something that doesn't require a lot of thinking but rather mechanical gestures. I miss you so bad angel, I feel awful for not guessing what upset you but it's just

Comments

[egotistgirl]

wow, reading this entry really scares me angel. do you really not know how you are feeling? are you alright? what is going through your mind precious? im sorry that i upset you, i didn't mean to. i know that things are hard over the phone and it makes figuring out each others feelings sometimes a challenge. i do trust you angel, with all of myself and i always have. there is nothing i need more than to be with you, be by your side and be able to just feel how you are feeling and sense your every thought. i just want to be able to cling to you and hold you so close to me and never have to let you go. why do we have to wait 3 fucking months before that is possible? it seems incredibly unfair and although i know that i can make it and survive, it doesn't make it any easier since all i need is you and your love and affection. i hope that the time goes by quicker and that we will be in each others arms before we know it...je t'aime cherie..

post rice answer, my head's clearer

[clipmywings]

I didn't mean to get you worried angel, this journal is just a cool place to vent and I did not write what I did for the purpose of making you feel bad for not spilling out what was in your mind right when I asked you, at all. I agree it's often challenging to figure out what the other one is thinking about, just relying on the voice, but I know we are honest with each other and that is, along with love, what matters most, isn't it?! I haven't heard from you since I replied to your email, I am afraid of having hurt you somehow, I hope not god... Words just can't describe how bad I miss and need you right now babe. My dad requires the phone line until 11 (I wonder what for...) but if you could give me a call then, that'd be more than awesome. I crave my baby's sexy voice. I also need to hold you in my arms REALLY bad, the aching that deprivation is causing is so overwhelming it seems to swallow me whole and I find myself unable to get some perspective and describe what it feels like, cause it's become such a part of me you know. It's

Re: post rice answer, my head's clearer

[egotistgirl]

"I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
And I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory

Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me

I don't want to call my friends
They might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that's been"

Je t'aime ma cherie..please come over angel. i need you...