On contracts
Well hello, I’m so glad you could make it.
What are you doing here? Well isn’t it obvious, we had a contract, when you die, I get your soul, so here you are.
Oh, you managed to get out of it. Oh how droll, frankly I can’t remember how you got out, I go through so many. Was it some clever loophole in the legality of the country it was signed in? Or perhaps you defeated me and saw it burn? Or used your powers unselfishly? Or got a kiss from a pure maiden? Well go ahead and tell me, I’m sure it was quite clever.
Yes, well that was impressive. But unfortunately for you, irrelevant, as are all others.
Oh you still don’t understand do you? Well, I have time, and frankly I do enjoy bragging. So let me ask you a question, what is the first thing anyone running a good scam does?
You don’t know, well you wouldn’t. It’s to insure winners, if everyone knows that the price in damnation, then why ever sign your soul? You might get a few desperate fools, but most won’t. But what is someone tries to get out of it? Well a foolish person would try to stop them. But a, pardon the expression, clever devil, would let them, and when they got out of it they would rant and rave and holler. And then that proud fool would let everyone else know how he got out of it, and now people wouldn’t see it as a certain loss, if you were clever enough. And you fools always think you’re the clever one.
But what’s that, you were the clever one? The one I let go? Well as an I said, it’s smart to let a few go, but a true genius, a true genius would insure he gets all of them, in the end. So let them try their little scheme to get out of the bargain, and when they’ve come up with the ridiculous idea, let them think they’ve won. Rant and rave and tear up a piece of paper if it’s legal jargon. Let your avatar on the mortal realm be destroyed and burn the paper if it’s force. Curse how anyone could use their powers unselfishly if they do that. But above all, know that are bargains are not truly struck on paper, and when you go back to our realm, smile and know that the contract is just as valid as it always was. And then, watch as all the little monkey’s souls come to me after spending their entire life thinking they won, and telling everyone. Only now to you realize, far too late to tell anyone that the entire game is rigged.