Bolt 3 in a can? Handy!
Sprint Shoes? They don't looks very Sprinty. They represent everything that is opposite to Sprinty.
When you're thinking about the pinnacle of melee combat, of course a
club with lots of nails hammered into it immediately comes to mind. (It's interesting that they're promoting an
alternate model, though.)
Nice.*Pauses
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You see, Shinra's enchanted it through a series of secret processes, and it doubles your speed. I don't know how it works, you may as well ask how you can fit an Ice spell in a grenade.
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The big pointy one looks like if they moved at the last minute or something and you got the angle of attack wrong, the nail might turn into a lever and crack your bat in half.
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We should write them a memo!
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*Brightsmile!*
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