lifes no story book, loves an excuse to get hurt.
So I find myself in an all to familar room, on a morning that signifies the imminent start of school, consequentialy the finish of a remarkable summer. A summer to remember, to say the least. And as I take the last sips of this coffee thats turned cold, this bitter taste inspires me. In this moment, forcing down the last drops of toxicity, I am aware. Gripping a glass so empty an optimist couldnt even claim it half full; I sit here, idle and alone. Starring down the window, winning wars with the blinds as I shut the world off outside. I drift my gaze to a blank and empty wall, standing in my way of what promises to be a blank and empty room on the other side. Moments pass in what feels like hours and the color of the wall beings to turn to particles. Dissobedient eyes water, forcing me to blink and redirect my gaze. The window. And like a child i peak through the blinds i worked so hard to shut, staring up at a blue sky and clouds with silver lines. pausing only to notice the dead insect on the window seal. and i cant help but feel that we're alike. Both getting so close to escape; to a whole new world, but ultimately defeated by something unseen to us.
isnt it funny how many people you find when you lose yourself. and it seems they always bring back with them a peice of you. i am nothing with out you my friends. youre all i have, and its important you and i both understand this.
and i beg you; please dont let me leave your mind. and he laughed "pleading never got you anywhere in life" i just want someone to read me stories, and bring me orchids. someone i depend on for a smile, someone i love to hear laugh. i just want to hold someone and him and i both know that there isnt a person id rather be holding in that moment. i just want to do my best to show someone how beautiful they are to me, in every way possible i want to love someone with everything i have in me. but many things, myself included, are standing in the way of that.