(no subject)
A snippet of a conversation in which our hero reveals some of his secrets to a long-time friend:
Me: I've noticed a phenomenon that's really weird, because I know very well that gender as a concept is just stupid and that it doesn't even matter if I'm a boy or a girl. But when I look in the mirror and think "girl", I see this disgusting parody of a woman. But when I look in the mirror and think, "boy", I see this really cute guy.
Him: You're awfully damned cute.
Me: Yeah, and you see me as a cute girl, and that's fine. But I don't see me that way. I'm just exploring why I don't, and why thinking of myself as male seems to balance that, and what that means in terms of transitioning or not.
Him: I really couldn't say.
Me: 'course not, you're not me, silly. :P
Him: Well... I can see where you'd see the "parody" of a woman.
Me: Really?
Him: ...But does that have to be a negative? Some might say I'm a parody of a man, because I don't go shooting guns and doing beer-bongs. In fact, I've been told that I should "be a man" by a lot of people. Then I'd ask them if they want to see my penis, and they'd get all bitchy.
Me: *giggles*
He doesn't quite get it, but he brings up an interesting point. It goes back to my idea in my first entry about dealing with my dysphoria in ways other than transitioning. Any thoughts?
Me: I've noticed a phenomenon that's really weird, because I know very well that gender as a concept is just stupid and that it doesn't even matter if I'm a boy or a girl. But when I look in the mirror and think "girl", I see this disgusting parody of a woman. But when I look in the mirror and think, "boy", I see this really cute guy.
Him: You're awfully damned cute.
Me: Yeah, and you see me as a cute girl, and that's fine. But I don't see me that way. I'm just exploring why I don't, and why thinking of myself as male seems to balance that, and what that means in terms of transitioning or not.
Him: I really couldn't say.
Me: 'course not, you're not me, silly. :P
Him: Well... I can see where you'd see the "parody" of a woman.
Me: Really?
Him: ...But does that have to be a negative? Some might say I'm a parody of a man, because I don't go shooting guns and doing beer-bongs. In fact, I've been told that I should "be a man" by a lot of people. Then I'd ask them if they want to see my penis, and they'd get all bitchy.
Me: *giggles*
He doesn't quite get it, but he brings up an interesting point. It goes back to my idea in my first entry about dealing with my dysphoria in ways other than transitioning. Any thoughts?