Comments | closeted_ftm: i need some insight...

foreveremo in closeted_ftm

i need some insight...

Aug 10, 2006 09:56

hey everyone. i am a 20-year-old female with an ftm boyfriend. up until we started dating about 8 months ago i defined myself as a lesbian. although i've always been more on the masculine side, i've never really thought of myself as anything other than a "girl," even though i've always wanted to be a boy. when i was 6 i told my grandmother i was a ( Read more... )

Comments 5

stronger_still August 10 2006, 16:33:38 UTC

"my question to you guys is do you think i'm trans or just a gender bender?" you can ask that question of a hundred people and get a thousand different answers. Only you know who and what you are.

In terms of your boyfriend; he may feel that you are co-opting his identity, taking on something of "his". Sorta like.. he likes chocolate ice cream and you go.. ohmygosh.. I LOVE chocolate ice cream, prolly more than you ever have! Maybe you never had chocolate ice cream or thought about chocolate ice cream till he brought it up. People can get real protective over "their" stuff and "their" identities.

foreveremo August 10 2006, 16:37:14 UTC

thats what i was thinking too, and i dont want him to feel like that cause this is always something that i've thought about, i just never had the courage to talk about it until i met him and saw how strong he has been about his own transition.

thank you so much for your support :)

automkf August 10 2006, 17:13:14 UTC

I'm in a similar situation to you. I only came out after dating a couple of ftm's and since then my identity has changed so many times. I've finally settled on genderfluid. There are many gender lables out there don't feel like you have to fit into all or any of them. Only you can say what fits for you.

I'm not sure how to help your boyfriend through this, but I would suggest that you tell him these thoughts have always been a part of you and now you found someone with whom you felt comfortable enough sharing those feelings.

iamacliche August 10 2006, 23:59:19 UTC

i agree with what everyone says, and i'd also assure your boyfriend that you will not rush into anything, and that maybe you meet with a gender specialist, maybe with him present, maybe not, but keep him informed and all that ( ... )

foreveremo August 11 2006, 14:28:22 UTC

do any of you guys know a good website where i could find a good gender therapist in my area (long island)?