(no subject)
never expected it to arrive so soon
but as the night drifted on
it came time to say goodbye
turning your back and walking away
this cold winter morning is all that remains
why couldn't you tell me to my face
instead of hiding until i lost faith
a heart gets broken as a life gets set free
and all i asked was love me
years passed, seasons changed and i waited
(hate time to say goodbye, hate time)
soon after was the pain
that would never reach you
you've gotten over me
but it seems i'll never get over you
on me i place this blame
regrets
praying heaven will open wide
and hold you tight
as for me, i'll be alright
this impact you would have
the songs i'd write
dreams of you changing your mind
anything to pass the time
but for now
i hope you can hear me as i cry
i love you and goodbye
***
Life, is floating fast away.
But I look, your head is turned away.
From the moment you left I knew that something wasn't right.
But the feeling inside has kept me up all night.
You and me are like one heart-beat.
So slice open my veins.
And let, the romance bleed away.
Back into I thought I knew, these words inside me, tell me what to do.
My heart held, in the palm of your hand.
(Forget my name)Now I know, the way to go, this place inside my demented mind.
(Forget my name)You saw me bleeding on the bathroom floor.
(Forget my name)This time in silence, this time I win.
***
It's so nice sitting very still,
in a room where no one else can feel the pain that breaks my heart each day, I'm not ok.
Sunlight shining through my window, let's me know that I'm still alive
Why did I ever let you inside my heart? I'm such a fool.
Paint my face in shades of blood and grey and take a seat right next to me
Well I should've known that you were a killer.
But now I'm dead.
A gaping hole, shot through my heart
A lost connection from your poison dart
Shot from your tounge to end my life.
You're blowing at the fire to light your strife.
You'll never know.
The hardest thing about dying is, knowing you'll never see the light of day.
A gaping hole shot...(shot through my heart)
A lost connection from your poison dart.
My head now spins and my ears bleed gold.
I try so fucking hard, but I can't fit your mold.
You ripped my heart out, you tore my eyes out, now you're gonna pay
I'll stab you one time.
I'll eat your heart out so you feel my pain.
Don't you know that I always see you in all of my dreams?
I wanna kill you.
***
Just throw it back, for one more night
On a starlit and moon-struck night.
The ground did fold and eat us both
But all my love, I did devote.
Beneath the rafters the angels sing
Spinning violence and playing with my heart.
The song I wrote, it was for you.
To live inside of me, I'm dying inside you.
Lost inside another crash
The bones I had, turned into ash.
The world did cry, the night you died
And I am no good at suicide.
But I lost what was mine, and I want what was mine.
My heart now it always breaks, the blood did drip and I take,
another wish, another kiss, no more will for me to kill.
We'd run away in our dismay, but please, come back to me.
***
To kill the whitest looking dove
To hate everything I love
And I'm trying to pretend
Oh in wanting life to end
That I am not another stupid
Little teenage fucking whore
And now I know
And we will see
And now I know
And we will see
To take this handgun to my eyes
And watch my cells start to rise
The flesh now starts to break as the
Bullet enters like a snake
Through one side of my head
And out the other one
And now I know
And we will see
And now I know
And we will see
And I'm too scared to live tonight
And I'm too bare to shed my plight
And I'm too scared to live tonight
Too bare to shed my plight
(Please tell me I'm not wanted)
(Please tell me I'm not wanted)
Watch the bones rip through my flesh
A catharsis of my own distress
(Please tell me I'm not wanted)
(Please tell me I'm not)
And now I know
And we will see
And now I know
And we will see
***
Choke on your forked tongue as you lie to me again
Say it's too early to show how we feel
just shove me away / but what can be said
to someone who can't hear
or comprehend your actions
I've lost faith in what I've been told / it's all a lie
I show true feelings always feeling the pain
Smash me to the ground a thousand times as before
But I can't rationalize anymore / carry me away
on concrete pillows incinerate me once more
Love means nothing to you anymore
blood stains on the wall with disfigured forms / end me
***
you say I need you
but how about the DEMONS in my head
I'm sure you don't miss them
cup my ears over and over when you speak
and I can't believe that you are here
I hate your eyes
it's been nice without you
and every word you say affecting me
keep your hands and your knees
because you'll need them later
you always smell the same
everything smells of you
I hate your eyes
you always smell the same
everything smells of you
you wanted it all
but now you can't see
what you adored in me
kill me again and again
so I can relive every moment with you
***
Thought that I would
shove everything aside
to shake your hand
barbed wire wouldn't come fast enough
why does your name leave a bad taste in my mouth
when it rolls off my tongue
in your world excuses mean everything
stitch me for days because
I keep splitting myself for you
why does your face seem better on the floor
have you thought about death today
ask me I'll help
you never knew me
these are my last words
not that it matters anymore